"….Now, I don’t like to talk about this...but it needs to be said. I can’t bottle it up inside anymore...my dearest Aunt Anna, burn in hell. You…..LEFT me. I had to fend for myself when I was only 9 years old... No guidance, no safety, -I- had to be the adult when you were blacked out drunk, -I- had to find a way to feed us, keep the god damn roof over our heads, -I- was the only one I ha-.....you deserve nothing less than what happened to you. Do you not realize the pain and trauma you’ve caused!? I was depending on you- on YOU! You were all I had, and you left me just like my father. The only person I ever loved was my mother, and I lost her too…..you think her death didn’t effect me? You think you were the only one grieving? She may have been your sister, your best friend, but she was my everything...my world, my comfort, my safety….MY mother. You were supposed to look after me, but instead I had to look after YOU!!! Every day spent running the streets of our town, begging for food or money, and when I got older? It didn’t get any better...see while you were blacked out drunk in our fucking shit-shack, I was getting threatened, cut, nearly shot and killed on the streets trying to peddle drugs to survive. I was a drug dealer at the age of 12, trying to juggle between selling drugs and getting through fucking middle school…..getting slashed at by addicts with knives just because I was seen as the weak link, the dumb kid that was easy to steal from….until I became the 14 year old kid who cut a man’s throat open. What was I supposed to do….he tried to steal from me. THAT’S how I gained respect, THAT is how I survived, without you…..without anyone’s help. I bet you didn’t know about that….You didn’t know about any of my struggles...all of this pain, all of this suffering, and nobody to help. You were my guardian…..YOU were supposed to be the ADULT!….."
"I need to get the hell out of this city. They're going to be looking for me when they find the body....and by then I'll be long gone. I need to go somewhere, I don't know where, but anywhere but this country. I need to go overseas....lie low for a few years, maybe start something new, something.....better. I think Russia would be a good place to go and eventually branch off from, I've always enjoyed the way Russian people speak anyway.....it's not that crazy right? Spontaneous trips were always my go-to favorite thing....but I'm real nervous...I don't even fucking speak Russian....but it's big, and I've heard Moscow is beautiful....god dammit maybe I'm just being a dumb kid....but I’ve bought a one way ticket to Moscow, and I am leaving in the morning. I want a new life, a new beginning, I want to be better....Wish me luck mom, I wish you could see how well I am doing on my own...a-and....I'm sorry..."
"Jesus Christ...the past years have been cold, but I'm doing the best I can...and I actually feel somewhat safe. I've gotten a job working for a man named Ivan...yes, I know...stereotypical Russian, but he's a nice fellow, when you don't think about how many people he's sold drugs to or even....killed. I've seen most of Moscow now, and I have met a lot of good....and very bad people. I haven't stopped selling drugs....it's rougher in this country but I'm used to just winging it. I'm thinking of going on holiday to a country called Chernarus in a few weeks, seeing as the infection has died down. I'm way too paranoid in this city, I feel like in every street corner or alley way there's someone that is hunting me...whether it be the authorities or rival dealers, I can't take it anymore...I need a break. I'm going to spread your ashes there mom....I've heard it's a nice place to go on holiday, and I think you'd like it.....I love you mom, I'll write to you again once I spread your ashes over that supposedly beautiful country. I'm hoping I can find peace in your absence....."