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Djibberish

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  1. After dad kicked me off the farm, on the account that I was 'a lazy dope-head', I decided that my country didn't have anything left to offer me. I decided to use what money I had saved up from working the farm to move to Russia. I, like my father, a'int too fond of people, so I bought a nice piece of land just outside of Novaya Petrovka in Chernarus. I built me a house and planted enough seeds to last me through the season. I also planted around 30 marijuana plants for my own personal use and a little extra money on the side. By the next winter, I had harvested my plants and began hunting. I was finally happy; I was self-sufficient and didn't have to talk to nobody. Like most good things, it shortly turned sour. A small group of people came on my land and broke into my house while I was sleepin'. I didn't have any locks on my doors because I didn't have nothin' to take accept my food and my weed. Apparently that was exactly what they was lookin' for because I woke up to the sound of them rustlin' around in my cupboard. I peaked out the door with my shotgun and saw 3 men standin' there in my kitchen. I pumped the shotgun and they all froze and looked at me. Before I could try and say 'get the fuck outta here' in Russian, one of 'em pulled out a pistol. I shot him dead. I wasn't too close to 'em, so the spread of the shotgun caught another one in the side. As soon as his buddy turned to see if he was alright, I shot him in the face. I didn't mean to, I was just scared that he might be reaching for his weapon. I had gone totally numb, my body was working faster than I could process the situation. I turned and shot the wounded one dead too, then a woman ran in screaming, probably mourning a husband or a friend. I shot her in the stomach. I stood there and just looked at her, unable to move. She crawled over to the last man I had shot and cried into his chest. When she looked back to me I had already put the barrel in my mouth and placed my big toe on the trigger. *click* It was empty. The woman mumbled something in Russian before she took her last breath. I had so much adrenaline rushing through me that I didn't even feel the barrel burning my lips and gums. I ran out of my house in pure shock with a million thoughts racing through my head. I kept running until I hit the town, I looked like a maniac sprinting in with my face covered in blood. I'll never forget what I saw when I entered the heart of the town. People were eatin' each other, and they weren't movin' fast neither. In my numbness, I walked straight into that town and killed every one of them fuckers. I walked back to my cabin, took the bodies to the fire pit, and went to bed. I'd never slept like that before. I never did shake that numbness. I walk these parts with that same contentment I felt on my farm. Nothin' gets me down no more; not starvin', not walkin', not killin'. Now I can finally say it, I am truely happy.
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