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About Pepper

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  • Dr Brandon

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  1. Dragons: I have treated a number of patients for cholera. it has been exhausting but It has yielded results I am starting to get the prison's outbreak under control... My patient Billy seemed to be on the mend but It was clear that was not going to continue to be the case when he acted out in a dangerous and hostile way towards people who wanted to help him and bring him back to the mainland. I was forced to sedate him to prevent further injury which led to him having a hate for me even though my goals were to protect him at the risk of my own life and safety. I have felt nothing at all but continue to administer help to the various people under my care within these walls. Every action to help him was met explosively with an opposite one that was leading him down a path of self destruction. I don't envy him... while he was getting prepped to be waterboarded in the yard I tried to protect him by throwing myself at jack with a full 10 ml of liquid sedative to stop him... I only managed to get about 2 ml into him before I was thrown off and Jammed with the other 8 by Emmanuel who overpowered me quickly and proceeded to mutilate him irreversibly as I lay unconscious in the dirt... If they waterboarded him he would have died... the alternative sadly was far worse... In the hours previous I had radioed Dr. Brandon after asking permission from the guards. It was a medical call because I needed his expertise to determine my injuries further after the fall from the bridge. I never got that far because right as he was coming across the bridge I was strangled by Billy. however bad things were I still tried to help Billy due to his grave wounds. I must remind myself that I took an oath to protect life and triage is no exception to these rules. We were nearly beheaded... If I see Dr.Brandon ever again I don't think I could ever face him... Later I had asked to talk to Jack over a cup of coffee... he kept drilling me with questions, he was highly suspicious, he had been watching me carefully for days. he had noticed details, he had seen that I was hiding something but he could not put his finger on it... something was building in me, I had feelings for someone and he could see through me... He's like a dragon, he will take every piece of you away until there is nothing left.. I resisted him My memory is fuzzy of late, there are holes and inconsistencies. Somewhere deep down I broke, I started to feel for these strange feelings for my captors. Dr.Shock was there but I do not remember much of what was said or what we even did. all I know is that I set everything aside for a man who had done horrible things to me and those I cared about. I saw a change in him that night in the dorm when we shared stories over a cigarette he seemed remorseful, human... I left my intentions at his feet... he did everything that day to build up my trust, rebuild my feelings from dead empty hopelessness. he protected me! He told me something... He told me that he wanted a family... I deep down thought about it in desperation, I thought about what was going on around me. In the chaos and confusion, The pain and the agony I resigned myself to love a man who was my captor to protect those I cared about... I told him something in the pale silver light of the moon that cascaded across my face, my eyes locked on him... I realize through the fog that the medics I was with were never coming for me, they left me to die, like they did in the house... these were people I trusted... They never cared... I will never give them the satisfaction of doing it to me again... what has to go through a person's heart to leave an innocent person to die alone? They told me time and time again they took an oath to protect life... their oath was meaningless empty words... I woke up in the infirmary today... Alexis the man I care about was broken on the table next to me, my body was covered in cuts. I had holes in my hands like i was nailed to something and my body was bruised... I suspect I was in a coma... the bandages and iv bags were a clear sign that something horrible happened within the last few days, they all wanted to kill me... they stood around me wanting to rip me apart with fatalistic fervor and blood lust in their eyes... They beat Alexis within an inch of his life and made me patch him up again and again... when they realized I was not going to give up they left us to rest... I woke up some time later and Alexis was being beaten again, they forced him to crawl across the floor repeatedly with broken ribs... I kept having to go and patch him up again... he must have told them something, Jack Lemons and Oswald finally chased me off like a dog from this hell hole... deep down I do not understand why... On the mainland I met Bobby, never more grateful to see him.. I saw Otto run past and went to find him held up by some of the Black roses. Him and I walked away from that situation and into the woods...
  2. Pepper

    The Quarantined (Media)

    Lemons is a Dragon
  3. Life in between Death and living: I write this in hopes that I can sort out the gray areas of my memory... They must have thought I slipped... when I close my eyes at night I still feel like I am falling... I had finished speaking to a psychiatrist I cant remember his name or what we talked about... it was not long after he left down the road however that I stumbled into father David? the priest I had met on the prison island. My heart nearly stopped seeing him standing there in the middle of the road... I was sure I had walked head long into a ghost... Everything about this was horribly wrong. His friendly smile seemed off, his eyes fixated on my face studying me, for a moment. startled by this experience I broke left in terror running while the stitches in my leg bowed and stretched feeling like needles being jammed deep into my leg. I ran until my heart was ready to give out while he followed close behind. He caught up on me fast, His physique was astonishing for a man who Is roughly twenty years my senior. For all my effort and struggle I found myself surrounded. I felt like a trapped animal, both horrified and dumbfounded as the wolves descended on me with a dread gaze... Jack had found me... Lemons, Alexis, and the others dragged me into a house and tried to get info out of me... meanwhile I was frantically clicking Morse Code with my hand held radio through the pocket of my bag while my hands shook violently... I figure that they had been listening in on the public radio when a patient of mine unknowingly slipped his location... I only remember something about a castle... I knew then and there that they must have been searching the entire area and figured out where I was... I was frantic, backed into a corner and scared out of my mind!... I tried to flee while they were distracted with some guy they nicknamed pumpkin who they had gagged and bound. When the rains finally broke I was dragged along, I limped to buy time and wait for help but they got wise pretty quickly and demanded the location of my friends. At the end of a shotgun I finally caved after an hour of them yelling at me while I was bound... I finally surrendered to them knowing full well that if they did not find Ellie and Nikolai that I was a deadgirl my brains plastered all over the tree trunk... All they wanted was information... and me... they used me as bait before and I knew somewhere deep down that they never wanted to let me go but I had thought I could just escape, I thought I could just be free but they wanted me for some reason... Ellie gave me this look like I had betrayed her... It made my stomach turn seeing that smile... that fake smile... her eyes looked at me like I had somehow killed a part of her deep down... Both her and Nikolai at that point could have cared less what happened to me... I've lost my family, it's the worst feeling in my entire life, right as we had started to trust one another again I was forced at gunpoint to betray them... After that something broke... The world seemed so vacant, so utterly bleak.. I was walked back to the island but ran across a group outside of Sosnovka who came on the prison party with guns drawn... at that point I cared very little about anything... I feel dead inside, broken by the emptiness of Ellie's eyes gazing back on me while tied to that tree. I watched empty as they broke Jack's pinky finger and forced both Alexis and Jack to fight eachother. somewhere along the line Pumpkin was punched off the cliff face. In my state I looked him over and assumed he was dead... (He wasn't...) All things considered and the damage done to everyone I waited until the people who held us up had dispersed. Father David was let go or something. and I was left with Jack... and Alexi... whom I for a few moments had the upper hand over... I knew that my only chance was to fix them up as best as I could. part of me marveled at their pain as I stitched them together. I was sure I could convince them that their ways on the prison island were wrong... but then by fluke A man in a suit showed up... Angel? or is it.. Richard???... I snapped in line at the sight of his shotgun. I feel nothing... On my way back I was given a choice.. sign on as their personal doctor or go back as a prisoner... I tried to run the first chance I got... I was pulled aside and interrogated by Angel who blew cigarette smoke in my face and asked for a strait answer... on the bridge up to the prison I jumped over the railing while the man in the suit was driving more questions at me... I didn't give a shit either way... I jumped... I really jumped..., my body from what they told me fell 60 feet and tumbled down an incline into the mud. I woke up in the prison some time later but I wasn't in a cell in fact they were offering me work... they must have thought I slipped... I was introduced to a young girl who claimed she was a child soldier... from the time I got to know her we smashed some pumpkins together to blow off steam... I had a feeling the guy in the suit had plans for her... Today I had my work cut out for me... morning started when I awoke to the young girl wandering the halls with her flashlight at five in the morning... it was still dark and I saw people with flares crossing the icy waters... it turned out to be a couple kids who wanted their friend back... I told the young girl to go after they had informed me in very plain words that Vlad was on his way with a full on raiding party. what was I supposed to even do?? everyone was asleep and I was helpless. the girl may have been in my care but at that point I did not remotely care what happened to me... I saw her life as meaningful and mine as nothing... the others had awoke and held the two boys at gunpoint. I spent the good part of two hours using myself as a human shield... she was released and the children told that they are not soldiers... Children... they were only children... If she had stayed Vlad would have come and burned the place to the ground somewhere in the mystical land of being emotionally dead and still having an oath to fulfill I managed to pull about 46 pellets out of a girl who was shot flat out for being completely out of hand... I advised to Jack that if we have unstable prisoners like that again that restraints be used to prevent them from harming themselves or harming others... Poor Pumpkin... I had to work on fixing him after he arrived on the Island, his luck must be utter shit... he was dragged in and beaten to the point where I spent hours working to fix his broken ribs and fix his punctured lung... (WTF!!!) I also met Dr.shock who was surprisingly nice... but saw right through me... I was emptied out in the three minutes of conversation I was allotted to speak to him privately before Emmanuel's voice came on over the prison PA system calling me back... I later found a radio where we were talking... I am guessing this was a hint at something...
  4. I was dropping stuff to try and get away. chasing scrawny girls generally tends to lead to capture. besides you had so much more energy then Jess did. you should have seen the look on my face irl. I was dumbfounded! for a random encounter that was one that really was inescapable.
  5. hey bud, you were amazing also @andysuter Running into you out of nowhere was truly terrifying. I literally just wanted to run and run until I was suddenly surrounded. it's like you guys knew exactly how to trap me!
  6. Yeah, Jess suffers. I actually find it really soothing writing this out. it's a good outlet for venting the RP intensity without breaking character immersion. :3
  7. Concequences: I had to cut my previous Journal entry short because I was really exhausted and bothered by something deeply. In the moment I may have made a bad decision based on my own emotional state. lets be honest here, coping with pain and being put through the paces of having to accept this new and horrible world have put me in all kinds of negative directions. I am traumatized... I can only rest and consider that each action is balanced on the edge of a knife. what is troubling me so deeply now is that Ellie, Jaro, Nikolai and myself were forced to make a call in regards to witnessing a public execution of a man who had been chasing us.. I do not understand what was going through my mind when I did such. perhaps it was fear of repercussions or perhaps it was pain, rage and exhaustion. or maybe it was panic. regardless... I feel we were helpless either way... The whole situation reminded me of the time as a child I decided to watch the movie apocalypse now, seeing the chaos scared me... this is a lawless world full of all sorts of wrongs. I am a medical intern who barely got the chance to cut my teeth, I unknowingly gave the blood of a sixteen year old girl to a "suspected pedophile" then went back with Dr.River to fix this man up the next day because stone cold killers wanted to inflict horrors on him. I cant imagine what Ellie thinks of me... It's funny how these things work. No one is innocent anymore, not in the zombie apocalypse... Yet I shoulder so much guilt... I have been having to struggle with my own horrible demons, made worse by the fact that I keep running into former inmates of the prison island. the encounter with the one inmate had me screaming internally while every fiber of my being was telling me to run! It feels like I need Help so bad, but it feels like my hands are tied to these horrible things that I struggle to accept. the urge to return to the prison vexes me greatly. I do not understand... I was tortured, yet somewhere deep down I care about my former captors. I am so ashamed admitting it to myself. Especially now... All of this makes me miss Dr.Brandon fiercely, I love that man so much... Recovering: the burns from the defibrillator seem to be going away slowly and my leg has not become reinfected. sleep is still not great... I still sometimes walk with a limp but lets be honest no one just gets up from a gunshot wound and dances a Jig on the table. its an aweful thing to go through, If people saw me with my shirt and jacket off they would see two square shaped burns in first degree on my back along the right side. my body is bruised from head to toe, if i took off my beanie you can see a two inch scar with the stitches still in it and my legs are also bruised, my right more horribly so because of the gunshot. it will take months for those bruises to heal!. my energy levels tank out around lunch time. often I just zone out with this stupid look on my face. I need to rest again. I have been scribbling myself into exhaustion...
  8. Pepper

    The Quarantined (Media)

  9. Feelings. My heart subsided, I was resigned to rest, Jona Nikolai and Ellie along side Edgar brought me on a stretcher to a summer camp. I gave them my radio knowing full well they were concerned about me doing something. In the face of what others may believe I would never do anything as stupid as to radio the people who captured me and put their lives at risk especially when they took such terrible risks on their own to come and save my life. I sleep so little lately! I hate feeling so helpless and worse yet I feel alone. I know it's an adjustment from where I was, I know that I need sleep but I feel like there is a storm brewing. I seem to be loosing time... I don't understand what is wrong with me!!! I am horrified of being alone. When no one is around the thoughts creep back in and it feels like daggers being stabbed into me. I need help but the thought of getting help scares me. I spoke to a psychologist today a new person with the group but honestly I was afraid. He was analyzing me, taking notes... I feel ashamed to tell him anything about myself. I feel so vulnerable... Nothing is simple anymore, nothing comes with easy explanations or clear guidelines, there is no understanding or reason behind anything anymore. I had a patient today who was shot. I spent an entire night patching him up only to have others drag him off and beat the shit out of him. So tired, so horribly tired... between the pain of my latent injuries and the constant travel I am exhausted. My feelings regarding what happened to me weigh on me, It's like Jack Lemons is in my head and he wants me back there... The more I run the worse it gets...
  10. Pepper

    The Quarantined (Media)

  11. Pepper

    The Quarantined (Media)

    Pepper Approved!
  12. Nearly died last night... as I lay there on the floor in that empty house I hallucinated the result of severe staph infection... A few days back... I will try to explain as best as I can. This is a new journal with fresh paper to lament my suffering into... I had decided to take a nap in the radio towers on my way to look for Dr. River. He was missing for two days and I alone took it upon myself to go and look for him knowing that those guys from the prison were looking everywhere for us!. I Had decided to go for a nap at the radio towers thinking I was safe... I was wrong... so horribly wrong... my radio had failed me. some time during the previous night I must have damaged it or happened to be the victim of really poor luck. but a car had shown up within an hour or two of me sleeping there. Inside the vehicle was Jack Lemons and his boys... they knew I was there because my radio frequency was cross-banding and they must have managed to deduce a location either by triangulation or by sheer fluke... the men I had escaped just a couple days earlier were back. I was loaded into the car with little struggle knowing full well there was hell to pay for my radio call for help. I feel sick... Emmanuel, Oswald and Alexis were in the car... I knew It was bad, but not like this... I looked up from that sinking feeling in my chest to see the car careening off the road into a tree. I was lucky-rather unlucky to be alive... I had cut my head open pretty good when my head hit a sharp tab of metal on the frame. dazed and confused they forced me to walk back to that horrible island stopping me every so often to inflict new levels of hell... the prison walls welcomed me once more as I burst into tears and broke down from the ordeal. at one point a raid took place outside the prison as i peered out the window to the snap of two masked men who were asking me if i was a prisoner there. I could not answer them... I dared not because I knew that it would insight the ire of Jack Lemons... A bit about what I understand of Jack. He HATES LIARS! he HATES being screwed over and HE UTTERLY HATES when people ignore his will. Jack also has a way of getting into your head... I cannot help but feel like right away he was inside my mind... I am almost impressed by his charms and his way of making me snap to his every whim. Alone I stood no chance against him or his lackeys. I was broken down by the time nightfall came and the questions continued to be driven at me by another inmate who was woefully unaware of the fact that he was being listened into by Vlad and Emmanuel. I dared not say anything to him aside the fact that all my friends were dead or missing... Vlad actually protected me that night... As did the medic named Tiger The next day started with cordial good mornings and some work in the yard I was given some soda and candy by Jack who seemed pleased. I was still terrified with him. who wouldn't be? it was not long before that blissful interaction deteriorated. It started with questions... I refused to answer and grew stubborn. They dragged me into the gatehouse to the yard and Tattooed a skull fused into a gas mask on my shoulder in black ink and then took me to the medical room. there I refused again to give up the location of my friends. things got even more heated as I continued to ignore Jack and Murdock's wishes. I was grabbed by the wrists and pulled across the prison room table while Jack put the shock paddles from a defibrillator against my ribs and shocked me until I fell unconscious. after that I woke up to more questions. the paddles still plugged in waiting to deliver another shock. knowing what it would do I still resisted. out came the shotgun.. they were tired of games... I started to tell them what i knew... I had no choice... they had already formulated a plan to use me as bait to draw my friends further in to this nightmare. they forced me at gunpoint to try and trick my friends over the radio into thinking that I was safe... god what had I done... the only think I could think of was to say something subtle... something that Ellie or would catch onto... I told them i was happy at the end of Emmanuel's gun as it was pointed against my head in my cell. they beat me to a bloody pulp and made me lure my friends in... after the beatings they allowed me to take a hot shower. At one point they also called in a priest who was very kind. I was given a cigarette to calm my nerves. by that point I was in no shape to withhold information I told the man everything about myself. every last little detail... we were going to meet somewhere and the raid happened... I am too tired and still far to sick to explain in full but there was a raid in which i was escorted by some of the guards. from the prison who were immediately shot around me. I too would become shot by Jack as the people raiding for a fellow prisoner tried to use me as leverage... the raiding party bandaged me as well as they could but their stuff was all contaminated... as a result I was both too sick and had a bullet wound through my leg... After the chaos died down I was led back in by Jack and patched up by Vlad... they took pity on me and let me go... I was brought back to shore using the buddy system and allowed to keep the radio they used to try and trap me and my friends with. By that point I was told I was going to be rescued... but something spooked the rescuers and I was left over night to suffer and nearly died as a result.. finally that morning I awoke unable to move much. my energy was sapped when Edgar came bursting into the house. I thought he was my dad at first coming to comfort me after a long drawn out nightmare. he dragged me away from that place while the prison staff were distracted elsewhere. I owe my life to those who saved me from this ordeal!. I just hope they can come to trust me once more... I feel awful the last few days have made them suffer along side me... I look to them with this sense of thankfulness but see the skeptical gaze in their eyes and the rage...the exhaustion... it feels worse knowing that I hurt them against my will then the pain or bouts of sickness ever could and I will do everything I can to right that. even if it takes me to old age and eventual death...
  13. alright I agree. I'm sorry and You're right. I admit that
  14. Link to the source of punishment (report/post): Why the verdict is not fair: I Feel I was being antagonized, The situation leading up to this was A KOS and impacted my game play detrimentally by flat out ruining a situation inexplicably with no reason behind it. Simply put the other party went out of their way to come back and insult me. Additional statements/comments explaining your point of view: they not only impacted my game play by flat out taking everything I needed to survive. putting my character in harms way and afterwords getting my character sick without so much as a thought about how that ruins a person's experience in game. furthermore they went out of their way to gloat about it on my journal. What would you like to achieve with this appeal: I would like to have the 5 point warning removed. I understand and will do better next time not to let my emotions get the better of me when I am dealing with a situation where others are being disrespectful towards me. What could you have done better?: not responded and reported the incident right away instead of acting out on my emotions. I guess I lost my cool
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