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Server time: 2019-02-22, 09:33 WE ARE RECRUITING



"This wound is rent to the bone, and I wont let the scab heal."

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About Xehara

  • Birthday 11/14/1985

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  1. I am not innocent in any of this. I am an active participant who is so apologetic with guilt that it's easy to forget I hold part of the blame. Maybe I hold most of the blame. I have to contend with that. I have to take the full brunt of the consequences and carry them until I have made amends. I can't sit here wallowing I have to prove my words through actions. I am not malicious in intent, but wrongs were still made.
  2. Loss is an unavoidable thing and I have seen my fair share, but you were big. I should have been better, stronger... held out longer. I should have been more decisive sooner. You had a big hand in shaping who I am in this world and who I aim to be. The running of drills so I can defend myself and live, the sticking to family... the idea that making a family might not be so bad. One day, with the right person who has the appropriate shoes to keep up. I wish I knew how to help you, how to shoulder the burden of your pain so I could walk beside you in your recovery. Trying to save everyone is stupid, you're right, but I still want to save you. I suppose first, I have to save myself. Whether it's with the pain of knowing you're gone or not, I have to live. I have to get treatment and keep my head down and survive, so all your sacrifices in my name aren't for naught. Making you proud will have to be my motivation until I can find a way to value myself more, and make myself the motivation.
  3. The radio came to life with a good strength all over the country, likely telling of which tower she was using. The coughing was at a minimum today with her voice sounding rejuvenated and confident. "Good Afternoon Chernarus! This is Karmen Rowe coming to you with your afternoon music break. First up I'd like to dedicate this next song to Yuri. You decide which one, there's so many." The familiar clicking of the cassette tapes was absent as the songs rolled from one to another, likely because the tower had professional equipment. The next song sounded as though it had been played a few times, one of Karmen's favorites. "I've sung this next one a few times but no one seems to know the original, which is a shame. If you ever see me out and about, this one is one of my go-tos. Tom Petty's Breakdown." "Continuing on with the 'What is she singing?' block, this is Tracy Chapman with Give Me One Reason." "Going to do an unthinkable and play the same band back to back because... This next song is another one I've been singing a lot lately, followed by what I think should replace it. Sublime with Santeria, followed with Badfish." "Some quick announcements before we sign off. Green Mountain Radio is looking for correspondents, reporters, protectors, and medics. We are also taking song requests and dedications. Remember if you see us out there in your territory, we're just there to get the news. Be kind to my family. This is Karmen Rowe, signing off."
  4. The radio crackles to life, misted by the continued pitter-patter of the rain. The cassette played with a renewed strength. Muffled radio chatter is heard in the background as Karmen's voice finally comes on. She sounded frustrated. "Afternoon Chernarus. This is Karmen Rowe with your music break. Be mindful to lock your doors when you leave your home because home invasions are apparently on the rise. Up next is Seinabo Sey with Pistols at Dawn." The familiar clicking of a change of tapes follows. Fast forwarding followed to the next song. The changing of tapes with muffled voices speaking in the background was soon drowned out by another song. "I keep trying to sing a sun-dance song to get this rain to go away, soon it'll be fixed I promise. I'm working on it. In the meantime, enjoy some Arctic Monkeys." More radio chatter lingered in the background with the only thing coming through being Karmen muttering, "... cancel that direction." The radio chatter was silent now, but the rain continued as she changed cassettes. "I have to cut this short, the rain is getting heavy and I am drenched. Hope you all enjoyed the earlier news broadcast. We hope to bring you more soon! This is Karmen Rowe, signing off."
  5. "The frequency was stronger the further south the receiver was, and staticky in the North, but with the signal bouncing off of Green Mountain radio tower, the quality was still bearable if not just slightly delayed. A light coughing was heard as she switched out cassettes and put one to play, opening up with a special song for the In Memoriam special. "Afternoon Chernarus," she began, pausing from a coughing fit that was chased down with a swig of water. "This is Karmen Rowe with our weekly In Memoriam special. A little over a week ago the French Foreign Legion left to head up North. News coming back down has been grim, and it would be a shame for us to not recognize all the good they did in the area. To any survivors out there," she paused as her voice cracked, clearing her throat to regain composure. "To any survivors out there, this is in memory of all of our fallen. It's never easy to say goodbye." Soft sniffling was heard as the song faded. "We actually have some requests today. My new best friend thinks he has some sort of sway over what I play on the radio. Little does he know that I just didn't have any other requests!" she smirked, trying to lighten the somber mood in an awkward transition. "He said I had to say something fancy about this request..." The sound of a male voice mumbling in the background was heard. "So this is to stream-side slow dances I guess." The sound of her switching cassettes lingered under her words, "This next one is his second request. Mac Miller with Ladders. I haven't heard this one before but the tape doesn't exactly look official... We'll hear it for the first time together." A soft cough-interrupted laugh and a mumble were heard as another cassette was turned over. "This song reminds me of the richest man in Chernarus. Here's to you Bobby." Another click of a cassette and the close sound of gunfire before the music came back. "There's been a therapist over the radios recently. I'm still needing to meet up with him. I think we're all a little messed up at this point." The male in the background began to chatter about the unknown cargo broadcast with Karmen muttering back to him. "Be careful out there, looks like there's more activity on the coast. Going to cut this short so we don't get interrupted by any more of those broadcasts. This is Karmen Rowe, signing off."
  6. "I'm not close, but... Maybe I can send aid. Hold."
  7. Karmen eyes her radio nervously, glancing to the well on her right before pressing the button to respond. "Uh... Where are you? Roughly."
  8. The radio fizzles to life with the sound of infected idling in the background. "I'm at the place, by the well. Where are you?"
  9. The frequency came out with pops and crackles, her voice sounding as though it was underwater at first, but clearing up by the end of her intro. "Afternoon Chernarus, this is Karmen Rowe with your afternoon music break. The weather is something else, isn't it? I suppose after an airstrike it rains nonstop. Keep your headlights on and watch where you step when on declines in the forest. Let's see if I can find a few songs to do a sun dance to..." The sound of a zipper and the shuffling of things lingers in the background. A clicking sound follows shortly after as she holds the cassette player up to the microphone. The clicking of buttons sounds as she fast forwards to the next song. It begins partly in the middle before stopping to let her rewind and start again. "Let's hope the Beatles can speak to whatever God is out there and bring an end to these endless storms." "Yesterday on the war front, Winjab Akunda a ranking member of the Saviors was critically wounded. As if this wasn't a bad enough blow, their base of operations may have been broken into - further delaying their progress in the war. In light of this setback, an anonymous source has made a small donation of medical supplies. We hope to have more news on the war in the coming days. If you see the press vest out there, please avoid shooting at it." A click is heard as she switches cassettes. "You ever run into someone that no matter what they do they can't seem to avoid getting into sticky situations? Yeah, pretty much me right now. Starting to think I need a good luck charm... Any suggestions?" Click. Whirr. Click. Another song began to play, this one with muted quality. There's another pause as she fast-forwards to a new song. "I'd like to welcome back our fearless leader Sam, or Red as you all might know her. We'll get the meat on the fire for your safe return home. To non-family..." "In closing, I'd like to make a few announcements. Green Mountain Radio is recruiting medics and protectors. Reach out if you are interested. We are still taking requests and dedications, especially since tomorrow is our In Memoriam show. Please get me those requests by tonight so I can see if I have the songs requested. Thank you, everyone, who has donated cassettes so far, it's greatly appreciated. This one goes out to the family in Green Mountain Radio. Karmen Rowe, signing off."
  10. The sound of rain beating down against the radio added extra static to Karmen's reply. "Won't be able to meet until late tonight. Green Mountain is a long ways from where I am now and I have another meeting first. Head to Mouse first."
  11. "Afternoon Chernarus, this is Karmen Rowe coming to you from a hostage situation." She speaks in a calm tone, clearly, it's not an actual hostage situation. "This evening's broadcast is being held up by Arthur Wade ( @ToeZ ) of the Saviors. You may notice the signal is a bit windy, that's because I am in a secret location that was more convenient for my captor. Tell us how you're holding up amidst the war, Arthur." "Well, Captive Number 12, Or should I say Karmen... Things are as well as things can be when you're killing Russian Ground Forces one night and becoming Champion of the Novaya fight ring the next, You know? I really can't complain all that much I suppose?" "Hah! Good on you, Arthur. Arthur and I met in Pulkovo and banded together to head out to the North West Airfield. I was joined by a few of my radio people and we discovered along the way that Arthur had an MP3 player. Don't know how he keeps it charged, tells me it's a secret, but he's taking over our broadcast tonight with his own private collection. What's up first on our music block, Arthur?" "Well, I thought I'd bring it back to some stuff that's kept me rockin' and rollin' through all the misery out here. Now whilst these songs aren't all lovey-dovey? My God they just get you stomping those feet! Now, first up is my good old American pal Colter, now this boy is something crazy at only 20 somethin' years old singing like the Legend himself, Johnny Cash... Followed closely by a mean more modern bunch by the name of KALEO, now sweet, lordy me, these boys can sing, perfect for those rainy little nights you find yourself wandering about kickin' rocks! And, to be honest, I think it's only right I finish up our first music block with a British favourite, I have to show that national pride of course. Now every true brit has to be up and singing along with all your friends for this one, it's only the arctic fuckin' Monkeys like! Karmen's voice comes back after the music fade's out, "So tell us who Arthur was before the end of the world." "Before all this hit the fan? Well god, it's been a while since I've even thought about what came before all this... I suppose I was just your average Joe, to be honest...I worked a few crazy different jobs, but nothing too mad and I kept myself in good company with good old friends which I'd known since school... For the longest time I was actually an office worker, it wasn't fun work but it was good paying and kept the people around me happier than it made me, but you've always got to put those around you first, now more than ever....ended up helping to run a clothing company, running the day to day operations of the place..that was pretty fun I suppose...I actually had the beginnings of a family and a steady job, but that all fell apart due to a few medical issues with my old missus... My brother was a Royal Engineer and was actually how I came to know Moody before all the shit went down... It's funny really, I wasn't much of a fighter before, but now I do it on the daily, almost for fun...Weird huh?" "This new world has a way of changing your outlook on things, yeah. Tell us what you have locked and loaded for the next block." "Alrighty well I think the next block we've gotta keep these rural tunes going somewhat, to begin with, we'll start with a rapid-fire song about killing cheating wives I suppose? How positive! Following up with a swift Colter Wall song once again, as he's clearly a fuckin' crazy lad and we'll finish up this next block with something way more positive and peaceful I suppose, a bit of Jack Johnson for the chill out vibe!" "Gotta say, we're riding the same wavelength with the tunes there. Before we head out, give us a little bit of Arthur spin on the war. What's going on up at the airfield?" "Well if you want to know the truth Karmen? The Airfields been abandoned and we've gone and settled back on down at Novaya, soon to be renamed however I hear. We're making our stand where we live and where we protect, and if that means the Russians come for us, then well, they can damn well try. But I'm telling you now, ToeZies doesn't back down from a good fight, and neither do any of my Savior brothers that's for sure! I'd like to see things end with some Russian military forces whimpering back on off to where they came from with their tales between their legs and Chernarus going back to the people who live here! If anyone on the air joins me in fighting these Russians? Well, be sure to give me a wave when you see me shooting them down alongside ya huh? Ahaha!" "Hah, well there you go. The Saviors have returned home. Think I've complied with all of your demands well enough to let me go, Arthur?" "Well, I guess it would be nice of me... Normally I'd take a Toe to those that I take hostage, but y'know what Karmen? You've earnt your free pass for providing some excellent questions! Congratulations! You've earned your freedom!" She offered a chuckle at that, "Thank you, Arthur. This is Karmen Rowe of Green Mountain Radio and Arthur Wade of the Saviors, signing off." "Deuces!" The interview dies down as one last song plays, this time it's a cassette from Karmen's personal collection.
  12. The radio broadcast came to life with a renewed boost in sound quality. Karmen's voice came across with a more lively tone than the last few days. "Afternoon Chernaurs! This is Karmen Rowe with your afternoon music break and we have a lot to go over. First up, let me clear up the lingering questions. Green Mountain Radio broadcasts frequently from the Green Mountain radio tower or bounces the single off of said tower from other, smaller locations. We no longer operate from Green Mountain outside of these broadcasts. The trading post was closed and we have migrated to a new home. We tried, people couldn't behave, and we had to make a decision. We love you all, promise, but we couldn't have our living room serve as the country fight club. You understand. Fear not, we do have plans to establish an outreach program so if you are another neutral group looking to be apart of that please reach out. This is SonReal starting off our music block with Preach." "Next up on our agenda. Do you happen to have a megaphone? Do you know someone with an MP3 player or cassette player? Do you maybe play a guitar and or sing? Green Mountain Radio wants to hear from you. We have a little party idea in the works that your musical addition would benefit from. In the meantime, let T-Pain take you to Church." The sound of muted gunshots came through with heavy static, as though prerecorded. "Hand's up or... Nevermind, I'm just playing. Remember when you would be driving home and some advertisement would come on with sirens in it, and you'd get that sinking feeling before getting pissed at the radio? Yeah... That's fair. Up next is Ester Dean with Drop it Low." "If you are the leader of a large group operating in Chernarus, Green Mountain Radio is looking to get in touch so we can set up an accord. Our goal is to be able to have points of contacts for fact-checking and gathering information so we can continue to be accurate in our news reports. Up next is Mya with My Love Is Like Wo. Followed by Tinashe, Company." "Green Mountain Radio is highering. We're currently looking to fill the following positions: Protector, Medic, Reporter. If interested, contact me via the Green Mountain Radio hotline at 89.5. This is Karmen Rowe, signing off." ((inbox me if interested))
  13. The radio crackles to life, transmitting over stationary and handheld radios alike. "Afternoon Chernarus. This is Karmen Rowe with your afternoon music block. Be careful out there, it's unknown if this is a new stage in the infection or if it's mutating but those afflicted seem more hostile and stronger. The fog also seems to have brought with it an increase in hunger and thirst, hopefully, this is an isolated occurrence but I have yet to find anyone not suffering these same symptoms. Coming up first is a request from Belov Pavlovich. This is Ed Sheeran with What Do I Know?" Her voice fades out as the music fades in. "Parts of this next song speak to me in new ways now. From my personal collection, this is K.Flay with Blood in the Cut." "I've heard the infected called many things from 'locals' to zombo, and it's got me wondering what it's like to be trapped inside that body. I overheard someone talking about doing research on cures, but how it required someone to willingly be infected to test the cures on. Not sure why they couldn't just catch one. Up next is Highly Suspect with My Name is Human." "This next one was sent in as an anonymous dedication to a lost comrade. Imagine Dragons, Whatever It Takes." Soft humming and occasional singing on the chorus is heard in the background of the next song. "Green Mountain Radio is currently looking for new members. We are recruiting camp medics, protectors for our reporters and our camp, reporters, and entertainers. If interested please leave a message in the lockbox at the base of Green Mountain. In the meantime... Solomon, if you're listening, come home. This is Karmen Rowe, signing off."
  14. Haha, don't be sorry. Mouse is a strong woman, and everytime Karmen runs into her she's punching someone or putting them in their place, so it's just how Karmen remembers her now.
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