An Abaddon –“Meaning destruction, seen in the Hebrew bible as a creature that could be seen as a demon or Lucifer.”
The cold air on my fingers is a vice keeping them locked firmly to the grip of my rifle. The numbness of my ears further amplifies the noise of my heart beating away as fast as I try to control my breath. My eyes haven’t blinked in so long they feel frozen. They’re locked to a still image. My lip tremors and my mouth tries to project something I can only imagine is the English language.
A young man about early twenties staring right back at me. He’s calmer standing loosely: one arm to his side with his hand playing with the fabric on his ripped jeans and one arm raised – pointing an old revolver at me. His face caked with mud and badly grown facial hair hides his eerie grin.
“Don’t you know what you d-done?” He chuckles
I’ve never seen another person before I had no clue what he was on about. I just looked back at him as his grin grew larger.
“I don’t know what you –“
“Don’t lie to me!” he interrupts
His smile was deceived by the tears rolling down his eyes. I wish I could tell what he was feeling at this point so I had a clue whether I had actually done something or I was just caught in an act of god where I would inevitably not make it out of this.
Looking down the barrel of my gun I had to calm myself. But I couldn’t. Was my gun loaded? Is the safety on? Where the fuck is the safety button? I thought about running. there was a building to my left it was about ten meters away but that is plenty of time for him to shoot me.
He sees me glancing - “Don’t run, only the guilty run” he pauses “I see many of you pass through, always fearless, you all say that you will survive until you leave this horror”
I raise my rifle slightly – “S-S-So what are you trying to do?”
He drops his guard and looks me calmly in the eyes, his grin now a pleasant smile.
“I’ve just accepted what we are” he looks down at his gun “And what we have done…”
“Let me walk” I plead with my gun still pointed at him. His glances back at me filled with sorrow. I don’t know why I was asking at this point I was in control but for some reason it didn’t feel like it.
“You can walk, like every other man – clueless of the truth clueless to their own existence”
And with that sentence I determined he was just another man that lost their mind in this unforgiving wasteland. In a moment of silence his hand tremors - A hole in his jacket reveals a tattoo. It definitely looks religious but I’ve never seen it before. I tried to calm him down by asking:
“You believe in god?” I lower my guard as to not make him feel interrogated.
“Do you?” he mumbles
“No you don’t!” he snaps. “If you believed you wouldn’t be here…”
“I’m in Chernarus because I lived here, not because of god”
He smirks. The noise of undead starts to play on the atmosphere. A cold wind blows against the side of my face and a black crow that lands on the fence stood next to us snaps me back to what’s really happening. The young man looks at the crow. Everything for a moment stops and the wind dies in a heartbeat the trees stop rustling and the noise of the undead drones out. All in just a second. He wets his lips looking at my gun.
“I don’t believe, I know” He slowly raises his gun
I look at his face change to fear “please, you can’t do this”
He looks up “there is nothing a man can’t do if he doesn’t believe in god”
The wind blows back again and in a snap moment everything goes dark. My body tenses and my hearing is now just a long ring. I can’t see, there is blood in my eyes, my rifle drops. The lack of my senses has left me confused, all I have in this one moment is the taste of metal on my lips and the warm blood on my face. I feel his hand reach out and grab my cheek. I reach out and hold the arm of the young man now fallen to his knees. I’ve realised what I’ve done. In the darkness I can hear his voice so calm.
“Welcome Abaddon, you know what you have done”
I can feel him patting me on the back as I lower him on the ground with his other hand still up against my cheek - I let go of him. Grabbing the bottom of my shirt to clear the blood off my eyes. I look down at him. His body motionless on the floor one hand over the hole in his chest and the other hand still holding his gun. His mouth flooded with blood. The undead no longer a lingering noise now a roar as they investigate the gun shot. I grab my rifle and turn round to escape. But something stops me I can’t run because in my way is him - the young man stripped to nothing more than his skin.
“You shouldn’t fear life when you are already dead” he chuckles.
The undead approach but I can’t move, I can’t believe what I am seeing. The claws and teeth of the undead I feared since the outbreak just seem like pins and needles on my body the young man walks off.
“It’s easier if you know where you are” he stops and turns to look at me “you lived blind - die and see everything…”
The noise of the crow is the ringing bell signalling my time has come. Everything is blurry I can only think of the family that I am about to see again.
I wake up on the beach just outside Chernogorsk…