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Stagsview

L E G E N D
The Fallen
Clean Sheet of the Year
Cerna Liska
Staff Member of the Year

"Shit this works now?"

  • Content count

    4064
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    7
  • Country

    Spain

Stagsview last won the day on August 13 2016

Stagsview had the most liked content!

Community Reputation

624 Somewhat Relevant

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  • Whitelisted YES
  • Last played 1 week ago

About Stagsview

  • Birthday 05/27/95

Personal Information

  • Sex
    Male

Recent Profile Visitors

9840 profile views
  1. I hate having no pc at the moment....arghh

  2. First time...in 5 months i've got 2 days off in a row. ASDFKL>NSDGFVOHYPSDFGVNOSDLFLPISPDFASDN:FS:[email protected]!! BOOOOOOOOZZEEE!!

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. Stagsview

      Stagsview

      ^i KOSED terra

    3. SweetJoe

      SweetJoe

      well....

    4. Oliv

      Oliv

      Drinking is always Staggs full-time job, everything else is just part time

  3. Just heard from some of my military friends they are "reading" for tonight. Things in Catalunya are getting spicey.

    1. SweetJoe

      SweetJoe

      Reading? That code for something?

    2. Alex

      Alex

      Did you mean "readying"

  4. What do you listen to ?

  5. What do you listen to ?

  6. *Touches him*

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. WulfeGirl

      WulfeGirl

      *SHANKS @Stagsview* YOU'RE DEAD TO ME BOY!

    3. Stagsview

      Stagsview

      You need to have your cage back on.

    4. Galaxy

      Galaxy

      I can dig it.

  7. Once again history repeats itself within Spain among the Catalans. Some things never change.

    1. Hebi Kotei

      Hebi Kotei

      Yeah, they never change. I personally think that the police done fucked up here.

      Not much research done yet, so I don't know the full story.

    2. Stagsview

      Stagsview

      its a complicated one.

    3. Hebi Kotei

      Hebi Kotei

      It always is

    • Chow
    •   
    • Stagsview

    Haloooow

    image.png.838e3bc20881c0df7b3a10908fbc712e.png
     

  8. What a start to a day.

    • SweetJoe
    •   
    • Stagsview

    8zY6Iwk.gif

    1. SweetJoe

      SweetJoe

      no comment needed.

    • Stagsview
    •   
    • Keira

    prideparrot.gifprideparrot.gifprideparrot.gifprideparrot.gifprideparrot.gifprideparrot.gifprideparrot.gifprideparrot.gifprideparrot.gifprideparrot.gifprideparrot.gifberetparrot.gifberetparrot.gifberetparrot.gifprideparrot.gif

    prideparrot.gifprideparrot.gifprideparrot.gifprideparrot.gifprideparrot.gifprideparrot.gifprideparrot.gifprideparrot.gifprideparrot.gifprideparrot.gif

    1. Keira

      Keira

      You crashed my phone so many times....

    2. Western

      Western

      parrot.gifmiddleparrot.gifmiddleparrot.gifmiddleparrot.gifparrot.gifmiddleparrot.gifmiddleparrot.gifmiddleparrot.gifmiddleparrot.gifmiddleparrot.gif

  9.  

    1. SweetJoe

      SweetJoe

      I like Christys better

  10.  

    Shameless update :P

  11. Bohemian Lights

    That cross you wear around your neck; is it only a decoration, or are you a true Christian believer?Yes, I believe - truly Believe?! If you believe you are gullible.Can you look around this world and believe in the goodness of a god who rules it?Famine, Pestilence, War, Disease and Death!They rule this world.There is also love and life and hope.Very little hope I assure you. No. If a god of love and life ever did exist... he is long since dead. Someone... something rules in his place. Dialog from Roger Corman film "Masque of the Red Death" Edgar Allen Poe(1964) Being a teenager for most people is always going to be a struggle. People all have their own battle's that they face. Some face pressure from school, others in trying to find out what they were and where to go in their life. Love, passion, dedication and a burning fury in their heart that never seems to die out, no matter how much you try to put out the flame, you always feed the fire. I couldn't find that fire, while others had problems in their life I couldn't find a way to know what my problems were...If i actually had any to begin with. I would cry but never truly feel sad, I could sing my favorite song but never could let my imagination flow, unable to touch the stage we all desired to stand up and scream out hearts out. Even when I drank, I could drink till the bottle ran dry looking down at my feet, dazed and distorted like a Picaso painting. Everything was in place, every note in the song was in place to make my story, my masterpiece but nothing...Nothing felt right...Did I feel something or do I not remember? As I grew older though, I began to understand. At least, to this point in my life I feel that I do, nobody can understand the full story until the author finishes the book, and well..If God truly is my author we can only tell at the end. I was lost, and unsure. How can you understand a feeling if you never felt it before? Or all you feel is that one feeling and when it comes to overload, all you can feel is the same thing. When I cried it wasn't because I was more sad, I cried because I couldn't take it anymore. Why couldn't I feel when I was drunk? I was always drunk throughout my teen years. Going to school, wasted on Alcohol, skipping, smoking, dealing just felt like part of my life...I was so used to it at that point It became part of what I was. And when it came to the loves of my life, the women that I sort in those years I never truly cared for. I lied to myself to try and make a "normal" life out of myself and what a teenager should do. I did it not for myself but it's what my brother did. I even ended up dating one of the sisters of my brothers girlfriends, not because I loved her...at that point in time I thought I did...but now I look back and understand that I did not date her for love..but to be like him, to touch the skin and blood he touched, to follow in his footsteps but with my own path. I was not my own person. The abuse from my father numbed me from my senses, my love for my mother blinded me from my reasoning and my worship of my brother, the involuntary puppeteer of his kin, controlling me by my strings every single move in my life. But only, in glimpse of height where the numbness was deafening and the abuse finally would break through I would feel something I knew far to well: Rage. At first I would hold it in, I didn't want to worsen what was already happening and if i just let my father do what he had to do, it wouldn't last any longer but as I grew older, holding back these feelings against him were proving to be far more difficult each time. Sparking out sometimes in quick one liners back at him at times using the book as a weapon against him, questioning his faith and at times renouncing mine. I would question why the lord would allow my father to punish me, while my mother would say the lord is punishing my father in hitting me, we all knew that was her excuse to herself to allow it to happen. But at one point, finally it did not end with words, nor myself on the floor waiting to for the last blow to finally land. I grabbed my father at the age of 17 going 18, I grabbed his wrist and stared into his eyes as he unbuckled his belt at me and stared into his eyes, this must have been one of the only moments I felt closest to my father, as we both at that point felt and understood each other. We stood there, staring at each other. We both knew that, if one was to act now....one of us would end up dead that night. My father for his uncontrollable disappointment in me, and my lust and anger to end the years of abuse. We never spoke of that night, my mother would ask me time to time what I would have done if he would have continued and each time I would tell her I honestly didn't know. But I know what I would have had to do if I wanted to survive that night if so. The abuse from that point on stopped, but things didn't improve in the house. From the times we would talk it would be short conversations, only those that he needed. Like asking for the keys for the house or if I could make my mother a coffee for her before work. He would eat away from us and only dinned on the dinning table when my brother was home from the military. But even those points he would finish first and left first, making up a fair old excuse to my brother each time he had to leave. My father wanted to see the least about me......And for me in that point in my life, it was the worst punishment he could ever have given me. I became the dark horse of the family.
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