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Rifleman

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"The Light of the Mind alone cannot burn away all Darkness"

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Rifleman last won the day on October 17 2021

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  1. Hello Admin team, can i request the transfer of the group ownership back over to @EllieAelders ? My stewardship period is over
  2. *A heavily creased and worn over Polaroid photo would slide from the journal and into the hands of the reader with the caption written below* "Anatoly, Casper, Penelope, Alec, Dean, Cheryl, Brody, Jack" - N.H.R. Meeting day, 10/10/2022 - Taken by Milo We looked so happy back then...before the fall of the Teaching Hospital, before Walker decided to up and leave us, before all the bullshit with the cult really kicked off. I don't even know why I bother hanging onto this for any longer, all it reminds me of is pain. Pain of the sheer fact that none of us had any idea what lay ahead. How we naively believed that we could all just move forwards with out jobs, heal the sick, cure the infection and be big damn heroes. Half the people in that photo are dead or are soon to be - or have just up and gone completely missing with no contact from them in weeks..the other half? Jack is out of the region but at least has kept in touch. Of the Original team...it's just me and Penelope left. It makes me feel old, despite all of us having been together just over a month ago when our biggest concern was the planning for the Blood Drive...that got cancelled thanks to the NBC attack that totalled the Teaching Hospital. Then the move to Elde...then the problems with the Cult...then Walker. It feels as if I played a part in some great tragedy of antiquity, a greek epic tale of a struggle against adversity - where only a few still stand at the very end, yet changed for it. Penelope came back. Frankly - it was...I can't believe I'm putting this to pen, but I thought that was it - she was up and gone, not coming back. That it would've been me and me alone who was left to pick up the pieces and rebuild. As much as I hate to admit it to myself, Penelope...she is too good for this world, and her being witness to it's cruelty, it's malice and it's domineering ability to break one's spirit - She can't have come back unchanged. The fact she ran in the first place is indicative of that...But what I do believe is that she needed it - to just run away, cut loose with all her responsibilities and just live a little for herself for once. I've spent my whole adult life doing things because they are the right thing to do, with no illusion as to the realities that lay before me. She came into the outbreak as a 4th year med student who did work with Doctors Without Borders - doing the right thing, but often with a gilded idealism to how the world works. Nobody's shooting at the MSF before the Outbreak. I cannot judge her for faltering in her convictions. We are all only human after all. Joe came back with her in the car...perfect timing too - Huw was still working out and tending to the crops he'd planted and the two seemed to hit it off quite well. Frankly I've missed the mad old goat and it's good to see him again after so long. It's tragic what happened to the Retirement Home however - little more than just a few empty buildings to be picked over by opportunistic scavengers, No hide nor hair from Augustine...and I'm praying to god Joeleen is still around to say hello to her old man. Nevertheless...with his arrival it had seemed the whole Clinic had turned into a microcosm of activity and people...honestly it brought a tear to my eye. Bringing back old memories of the Teaching Hospital, everyone gathered around, talking, getting to know one another, swapping stories and tales or just trying to steal some shuteye by the fire...I've made my mind up. The corner has been turned, we are on the way up again. Jack is doing A LOT better too, he was up and around and walking, despite still being in pain and weak, he just wanted to get up and around, to look through the old sections of the Nyheim New City. Apparently he used to work in one of the Hospitals there as a Surgeon. We talked on the journey a fair amount - the guy is going crazy not being able to be up and about to look for his Wife...and honestly? I can't blame him. I'd be going crazy if I knew my loved one was out there - lost and alone. But he at least understands that he's no use to anyone if he runs off and gets himself killed in the process...frankly I want to help him, but I wouldn't know the first thing of where to look. Huw has a picture of his wife and is going to travel around, asking people of her...I pray someone out there knows something. We could do with some more good news. New faces too...and older ones. Felixs and his friends have been making frequent stops at the clinic - Artor and Boris. Not sure what to expect from them...all of them soldiers without an army which can be dangerous - but they're content with what we're doing, and are keeping the cult on the quiet so - Good people? Possibly, intimidating? Certainly. But their comrade Aphrodita - Albanian woman, combat medic pre-outbreak...her story was harrowing - and explains why their group so vehemently hates the Russians, and anyone or anything to do with the Russian army. Apparently, months ago - the Russians tried to invade Nyheim, but were fought off by the locals. Felixs and his boys claim responsibility...I'm sceptical - yet they have no real reason to lie to me...but apparently Nataliya had been a part of this Russian intervention..as an active component. And had apparently ordered her people to brand and burn Aphrodita - though for what reason I don't know. In all honesty I don't know what to think. Is it possible? Of course it is - but I only have one side of the story here. And with Natalya out of the region - i'm shit out of luck for solving it. But as problems go...solving past disputes and trying to get everyone onto a path towards healing is a problem I am willing and able to solve. It's small time compared to the hazing the N.H.R. before Cheryl's passing...We'll get it solved. I know we will.
  3. Penelope's gone...and I don't know if she's coming back. Radio called me, didn't even have the strength to say it to my face...I don't suppose I can blame her. She's been taking everything onto her own two shoulders for too long, and I understand her need and want to get away from it all...but it's just me left here now. Well, Almost just me. Joshua, one of our old research team turned up to the clinic earlier...I'll have to admit something about the guy is off - but I'm relieved to always see a friendly face. He's been out and about, gathering supplies and largely keeping himself isolated. Frankly I can't fault him for that, the ghost of the cult still looms large over the N.H.R. - but either way, despite it being a passing glimpse in comparison to the wider events. It's nevertheless reassuring to see someone of the old team still around besides me. But that's not the only good news and friendly face I've met today. Huw Thomas Edwards...good lord that name reads like I just copied it from a Arthur Conan Doyle book. But no, he's quite a real. An elder man in his sixth decade from Wales. I believed my own accent to be a struggle to understand, But I have to admit - even I have to ask him to repeat what he'd said to me at times. The man's a farmer, has been all his life. He's...I'll be honest it's like talking to one of the locals in Zelenogorsk again. Rural life, despite being in a large village - everyone still knew everyone, everyone still talked. He's like the friendly old guy who helped out everyone when they needed it, stranded here in Nyheim by pure happenstance of visiting the land of his late wife when the outbreak hit. He's truly a pleasure to be around, someone who, despite having seen many more years than I - hasn't lost their sense of good will and light-hearted optimism...and despite his age - I wouldn't want to be tangled into a fight with him. Speak softly and carry a big stick, after all. And when push comes to shove and someone else is in trouble, he's the first to jump at the chance to help them. Nyvoll, Dead City. Some poor soul was trapped on the roof of the old high school gymnasium and sent out a radio distress call asking...pleading for someone to come to their aid...Huw and I got into the Land Rover I'd secured as a pseudo-ambulance as soon as we could and raced off to Nyvoll. It was dawn by the time that we had arrived..I have to tell you, Sneaking through Nyvoll has to have been one of the most nerve wrenching experiences I have ever suffered. Even active combat - that I feel more in control than sneaking through the dead-choked streets of Nyvoll to get to our injured soul. We'd almost tripped the alarm a few times - the infected have been getting smarter, stronger, faster...never seen anything like what they are doing now. They're changing. Either way...we managed to extricate ourselves from their attention long enough to get to the roof of the Gymnasium. What we found there was like a horror movie. Our distress caller had been on that rooftop for days, perhaps even as long as a week. He was barely clinging to consciousness, was gravely suffering from dehydration, malnutrition and blood loss - and to top it all off, an Infection. Gunshot to the shoulder, poorly sutured laceration on the lower right leg that had gotten infected, scratches from the infected all across his chest...but no bites. I checked. His name is Jack - a Surgeon believe it or not if his ID card is anything to go by...he'd at least not been alone, young Kid by the name of Cal had gotten to him before us, put out the call for help, we arrived not too long after him...frankly I don't know if Jack would have survived had it not been for him being there. He was incoherent when I got to him. I immediately got some saline into him to help stabilise his fluid levels and stabilised him, cleaned out the infected wound and yanked out a lodged pistol round from his shoulder before suturing him up closed again...The leg was bad, and I mean BAD. Within maybe a day of going gangrenous with how it stunk. I washed and cleaned it up as best I could, sutured it closed - but Jack wasn't going to make it if we didn't get him back to the clinic fast. Huw and Cal were a godsend there...Both went to get the car and did their upmost to not bring the whole of Nyvoll down on top of us in the process while I worked to bring Jack back to being stable enough to move...we needed to get him back to the clinic, to give him some blood. I didn't have any on me and I was fortunately a blood match with him if his medical ID card was to be believed. He was touch and go on the drive home, but our arrival couldn;t have been any sooner. He passed out on us, going into shock from the blood loss - I had to work fast, I injected some epinephrine into the man's heart and started compressions as soon as I could to try and get his heart going again. Huw - despite being an untrained civilian, assisted me greatly by collecting a pint of blood from me using a collection kit and getting the IV ready...We then switched places, Huw working on compressions while I gave Jack the desperately needed blood transfusion. We got his heart going again with a little bit of mouth to mouth. His pulse was weak, yet nowhere near as faint as before...I believe that, with a round of antibiotics to cover all our bases, some bed rest and some food in him, Jack will make a full recovery physically. Psychologically however...I don't know. Jack just kept thanking us, over and over. But I have to put this to a pen, because I know I'll forget it otherwise. Huw crafted up perhaps the wittiest one liner I have heard since arriving to Nyheim. "Well, what it was butty is that you decided to not want to live, so the doctor gave you a fantastic french kiss of life and I pumped my hands on your chest to Mambo No.5 to get you back to life." - Huw Thomas Edwards, 2022. I don't think I've laughed so hard after life saving work and a whole night out getting to a desperate patient. But It was the icebreaker that was needed to allow us all to decompress after such an intensive and nerve wracking day. I've got to get back to monitoring Jack now, while he's out of the danger zone, I'm not taking any chances. But by god do I hope the three of them stay around the clinic for the foreseeable future, Huw especially. Simple farmer he may be, but it's rare, especially today - to find people willing to put themselves in harms way to rescue a complete and utter stranger for no conceivable reward nor reason. By god does it feel good to save a man's life though. Perhaps the corner's been turned and good times lay ahead. Time will tell. Sooner or later, Time will tell. @CutieTaff @Salted @Jackfish
  4. Had an intense day indeed of roleplay today. Starting off small time with @CutieTaffdoing some cool farming work, followed by a visit by @Cor @Mariusand @Murdoc- always feel slightly on edge around you guys, but was some otherwise nice chill time with my fellow slav Bratiri. And last but not least, Star (or in this case, stars of the show) @Jackfish's rescue from Nyvoll with a helpful land rover, Huw's driving skills and @Saltedholding down the fort long enough for us to arrive, allowing for some high stakes medical roleplay, and a near loss of our dear patient, Jack - but with a bit of CPR, epi, and some blood - both Anatoly and Huw managed to save Jack. All in all, a truly amazing day with some stellar Roleplay from all parties involved, thank you all for it.
  5. *The Sounds of muffled thwacking would be heard down the radio - likely it's operator trying to get it working once again, before finally a slight BZZT sound would be heard as it's operator depressed the PTT Key. The speaker would sound off with a firm Chernarussian accent* "Dobrý Večer, Ladies and Gentlemen of Nyheim. This is Anatoly Malik of the N.H.R speaking. Following recent events involving the unfortunate passing of our beloved security member Richi - and Director Copperspoon being Indisposed as of this moment. I believe it prudent to inform you all that I will be serving as the Acting Director of our fair organisation for the immediate future. I am reaching out to you all now in search of trained medical professionals and willing volunteers who seek to learn how to heal the sick and injured and would be willing to commit yourselves to our organisation - if there are any still willing out there - I ask that you reach out to us over this Frequency or make your way to our Clinic in North Eastern Nyheim. I am however not blind to the fact that the N.H.R. also stands on not entirely good terms with a few select groups across the Region. And while Director Copperspoon is willing to extend the Olive Branch, I am intent on continuing that same course of burying the Hatchet as it were - and humbly request any and all leaders or representatives of those groups reach out to me to see if we can continue this respective Rapprochement with further meetings in the near future. God bless you all, and stay safe out there. Anatoly Out."
  6. *A photograph would be stapled to the page of this journal...a caption beneath read 'Richi's Funeral'* Every time I set my mind to doing something, every time something else comes up in the way of it...I was out in the Walled City when Penelope came onto the radio, panicked and scared, saying that she needed help...I ran as fast as I could to the Clinic - but I was too late. Again, every time I'm away, something bad happens. I get back to the clinic and it's like a horror move scene...dozens of dead infected all around. Penelope, Frank and another girl called Nataliya was there...Penny was in tears when I arrived. It was Richi, one of our most dedicated security team...He'd gotten bitten by one of the Infected that tried to assail our little clinic...he...took his own life, rather than become one of them...I had arrived far too late. I didn't even get to say goodbye...but - at least we still had him...unlike Cheryl...We could do him justice, give him a burial. We took him to an old hydroelectric dam with a large lake that he liked to frequent hunting and fishing at, his grave faces west - so he can watch the sunset with us every night...and most of all...it's a place I can go to, to give my respects to a man who - i'll freely admit, I didn't know too well, there was never really time to do so...but now he's gone. I've not seen Penelope in a few days - I think she's mourning in private...but now...that means the NHR has fallen down to me. Of all people taking up the reigns - it has to be me...I can't afford weakness anymore - I need to get this group back and reorganised, bring it screaming back to the good times that we had at the Teaching Hospital...Its going to be easier said than done. The Cult of Arev are still out there...The Father and his people...I doubt they are going to be friendly with us considering our past actions. At least the Heroes are still on our side. New Storvik is...well I don't even know if they are still around...while my past experiences with Arev and The Father make me loathe the idea of Repproachement...for the greater good, it has to be attempted...I have to keep myself and what remains of the Team safe while we rebuild. But I suppose there are small mercies abound. Brooklynn Amsberg...I think that's her name. Stuck up bitch at first, typical first world wealthy snob. Anyone else would simply look at her and think of a rich bimbo who never had to work a day in their lives. I know different. She's been sheltered since the outbreak started...crazy to think of being locked up in a bunker for a year, hopping on a helicopter and then crashing here. Didn't know how to handle a gun, didn't know how to sort herself out or survive in the slightest. I and other Anatoly gave her a crash course in weapon handling and taking care of herself...Turns out she spent her years in high school studying microbiology...which frankly makes her far more qualified than me for our research work. But other than her snide and condescending attitude making her presence to be at best - grating and at times - borderline insufferable - She's trying to better herself now she's learned what's really going on. And frankly, considering she's attached herself to the Clinic like a lost puppy, I can't exactly refuse a willing volunteer who's willing to learn...Assuming she keeps trying, I'm going to have to just give her some time to come around. But i've dealt with her kind before. Give them space, let them learn on their own, and if they don't...well. Old military discipline will come into the fore if all else fails. I can't let the NHR fail, not after all the sacrifices and loss we've suffered. For Cheryl. For Richi...I just pray to god that I'll have the strength to carry it through on my own. I've been scared of my own shadow for too long, been suffering in silence for too long...But just one more day. One more day - over, and over - and over until the job is done. I'll drag the NHR screaming back to the good times - to be a truly formidable bastion of doctors, nurses and other medical professionals, or die trying. Always said I had a propensity for fighting for lost causes didn't I, Cheryl?
  7. It's getting harder to lie. To myself, to the team, to Penelope. I've done what I said I would do, keep my head down, bury myself in work, keep my mind and soul distracted from the torment that is the twisted mind that my soul now inhabits. But it appears that my efforts have been made purely in vain, and all I have accomplished with such efforts had been to not truly grieve for Cheryl, exhausting myself in the process...and now the nightmares have made their return to the fore. I am so sick and tired, every day of every week - and I daren't share how I feel with the team...Natalya saw a little of it about a week ago. I had let myself slip, let myself actually begin to grieve for Cheryl...I crumpled like a wet rag in a storm. Huddled into a corner, scared, shaking, sobbing...weak, pathetic, hopeless. All things I had hoped my flight from Chernarus to Norway would allow me to escape becoming again...but demons that they are - they never forsake me. Nor do they allow me the decency to rest my war weary bones in peace. Every day it's a fight to drag myself to my feet. A war to put myself to work. A campaign to do provide for the ungrateful survivors that live in this godforsaken region - to contribute towards establishing and cleaning up this clinic that we are now situated in. To try and keep working towards Cheryl's dream. Of a world brought back to better days. I've managed to forget the reason why I even began writing this Journal. It's not like it's anything. All I'm doing is just following the stream of consciousness from word to word, paragraph to paragraph - and it's not helping me. It's not providing me with answers that I can hear, nor with ways to better myself...All I feel with reading over these past entries is a deep and overwhelming sorrow...of what we once had. The time in the Teaching Hospital...when the NHR was picking up steam - We were just innocent, hopeful, with a bright and open way ahead for all of us. Now Cheryl is dead. Walker is a dead man if I can catch him without his friends. Penelope is our new boss. Jack is gone. Poshuk is gone. milo is gone too...everyone and everything I seem to be around falls to ruin and disaster...I used to jokingly tell Cheryl that I have a tendency for picking to fight for lost causes. And what terrifies me is the likelihood is that I was right. Perhaps the NHR is a lost cause...perhaps it is all going to be for nothing in the end and we'll all meet a tragic fate at the hands of some sadistic bastard that wishes nought but pain for us. And then again, maybe not. Perhaps, there is light at the end of the tunnel, or at least, there is a way forward for us to get about to that new dawn we all so crave... It's time to stop lying to myself. I need help. I can't do this on my own anymore...It's time to try again, try and move forwards. And Keep trying to get to that Godforsaken cure...It's time to tell Penelope the truth.
  8. Why? Why am I still here, allowed to live on and bear witness to the world gone to hell. We've lost Cheryl, we've tried to move on. Found a new place to start our work again, it's a small clinic in central Nyheim. I stumbled across it purely by chance, and given the...smaller state of our Team and the lack of a need for a dedicated research lab, a small medical clinic is all we will need. The "Heroes" - as our good friends are calling themselves, Keely, Quinny, Frank...Goddard. Why? I received a frantic call from Penelope over the radio to race to Nyvoll to try and patch up Doctor Goddard. While I had never much liked the man, he was a cold hard professional with years of experience under his belt...When I had arrived, it was like a scene out of hell. He was pooled in his own blood, and Penelope had hooked up several Blood IV's to him to keep him alive - but by then they were almost drained. One of the gunshots had nicked the Aorta...the fact he was still alive when I got there was a miracle...We managed to cauterise the arterial bleeding but by then it was too late. He passed out from the shock, heart stopped, no breathing...I tried so damn hard to bring him back around, to buy us time to finish suturing him up but...there was nothing I could do. He had lost too much blood and by that point I was beating a dead horse...Penelope looked at me with desperate eyes, asking what to do, if we could do anything. I was cruelly blunt with her. There was nothing we could do. Goddard was dead...she broke down in tears, babbling that it was her fault, that she could've saved him. I told her she did all she could...but I know that look. It's a look of someone who hadn't lost a patient before. Barely a week's gone by and we've lost two of the finest doctors left in the Region....Jack is leaving us too. So that leaves me and Penelope as the only real medical professionals left to the NHR's Staff. Penelope is too good for this world, it's why it broke my heart to see her like that...But what was worse is that I brought Goddard's body back from Nyvoll to the Clinic. Keely was there, Natalya and Frank also...I never really knew Goddard. But I knew these people loved him as family given the babbling tears from Keely and the quiet tears from Natalya...I helped them bring him to an bury him at their old home. It's the least the man deserved. He can now rest easily, his fight in this world is done. The world is a much darker place now without two bright sparks like Goddard and Cheryl keeping the hope alive. And with everyone around me suffering...I need to get a hold of myself, I can't let myself become a burden...I just have to keep my head down, keep up the work for the NHR, Keep doing what I can. It's getting harder, day by day. But I'll keep moving forward. I owe it to Cheryl to keep going. I owe it to Kennedy to keep going. I made that promise. And I intend to keep it.
  9. Yet another charged day of emotions with @Fae @christina @EllieAelders @ResistStance @[email protected] our next close friend to pass into the afterlife with a sombre funeral for the late great Doctor Goddard. Honourable mentions to @Shiroand @DrBradleywith the brief yet certainly compelling hostile roleplay around the clinic earlier too - sadly didn't get much time to get more out of it, but certainly compelling and nervewracking.
  10. Welcome to our fellow doomed souls! Excited to see where your addition will take us
  11. Had a phenomenal day of highly emotional roleplay today with the move to a new home including (but not limited to) @EllieAelders @christina @Sibewiaand @ConFuzion With a double cool mention to @Calfor a brief yet highly spirited heart to heart with Anatoly. While Anatoly certainly didn't know you before today, he certainly will now - your character's concern for him was palpable - and while he currently stands at a crossroads, he will cross it sooner rather than later. Amazing, simply amazing. And it goes without saying a Double double cool mention to @Faefor the ultimate of pep talks and fantastic one to one roleplay. I have to say without fail your delivery for Natalya is always spot on - it was engrossing and honestly one of the best heart to hearts I think i've ever had the pleasure of experiencing. I'm looking forward to having more interactions with you in the future!
  12. God must have put me here just to torment me, to be forced to watch as those people who I care about are pulled and pushed, tugged and torn to pieces and I'm powerless to stop it. The world itself seems like a much darker place now. I had the naïve hope that maybe, just maybe, we could ride out the storm and emerge the other side unscathed. I was wrong, I was so very, very wrong. Cheryl, Doctor Rakoto...She's gone. Completely. Not left, Taken. Killed. Murdered by the cult...right in front of Penelope...I don't even know what to feel anymore. I've witnessed death before, seen and lost family and friends. Lost men under my own command, buried the corpses of eighteen year old boys...and I only feel two things. A cold, encompassing black hole of sorrow and grief...and something I had prayed I would NEVER feel again, the feeling that makes me sick to my stomach with how it has acted on me in the past, yet one that I cannot help but be tempted to indulge in. An burning desire for retribution, for justice, for Vengeance, for those who brought Cheryl to her end to suffer for what they have done. And worst of all? I want this. And I want it badly. I want to lose myself in the hunt for the person who killed Cheryl. Damn the consequences, damn the Cure, Damn the NHR. I want them dead. And I want to be the one holding the bloody knife. I want to make these sorrowful excuses for human beings beg me to be released from their torment with a swift bullet to the head, and then I would gladly oblige them...But I won't. I can't...Not again. Never again. You're a Doctor, Anatoly. You're better than this, you have to be better than this...don't you? I did...terrible things earlier in my life, after the Civil War, after months of searching for my parents or at least their graves...I lost myself in that same burning desire to bring the men who killed them to justice. I tormented captured soldiers, beaten them, torn out fingernails, struck them with lashes, deprived them of sleep, buried their heads under water until just before they would asphyxiate, anything and everything to drag the information my superiors wanted out of them. I got really good at it, inflicting suffering and pain to those who I believed deserved it, hell...a few times I even enjoyed it. Something inside of me was broken and it simply refused to be mended until Dominic...well you can read my earlier entry if you want that story. It snapped me wide awake. I wasn't the good guy in that scenario, most of those men who we captured were boys, kids, eighteen years old out on patrol, looking for us, trying to keep their families safe...they did not deserve that indignity that I enforced upon them, nor did they deserve to be treated the way that I treated them. When my superiors asked why I refused to carry out more interrogations, I simply shook my head, and refused to do any more. No more suffering, no more torment, no more death. I would do what I had always intended to do - I would tend to the sick, I would heal the wounded, suture up wounds, provide blood transfusions in the vague hope that perhaps I could attone for my lapse, perhaps I could drag myself back into God's light, the straight and narrow path...Cheryl's death has just ignited the demons once again, dragging forth dark desire and passion for torment that even now I find myself struggling to contend against...For now, I can keep them at bay, tie myself down in the work. Cheryl may be gone, and her death has probably pushed back our Research by years, if not decades further. But the work continues, Cheryl's Legacy has to live on. It has to continue. Someone will drag this world back into a brighter future. Someone has to. I have to. Even if it kills me. I can't let her work just die. I won't.
  13. The line was drawn. And they crossed it. They just had to cross it. Part of me thinks they couldn't help themselves, but I'm done being forgiving. The cult...they are insane people. Came in to the Hospital, demanding tribute to "Please their God". Sacrifice...Cheryl was not happy, we were due to leave shortly to find those vaccines Penelope found. Cheryl wasn't about to blow them off given just how much trouble they'd been hounding us with. She offered herself up, to be that sacrifice they demanded. They said "No no it can't be you. Our god demands another sacrifice, a blood sacrifice!" or some maddened shit to that extent. I had a frank discussion with one of their members recently, I don't remember his name, yet it was an eye opening discussion. Perhaps, just perhaps we could learn to live with these people. Perhaps we could stomach them. But what they did..It sends chills running down my spine every second I even deign to put thoughts to it. I didn't want the group to suffer the trouble the cult would bring if we turned them down flat. So I foolishly signed myself up to go with them. They led me to a lakeside, close to Nyvoll, the City of the Dead - even more so considering how many of the infected still are down there, supposedly in a Bunker. But that's beside the point. Over a dozen of them, closer to two dozen. They started saying hymns to the sky, asking to be blessed by their god...one of them plunged a knife into my arm and collected...what I guess was around a pint of blood into an awaiting bucket....then they all passed the bucket of my blood around, and each sick bastard in that congregation supped the crimson contents within. To "Be strengthened" by their god's will...or some other inane cult bullshit. They at least had the decency to bind my wound afterwards and let me go without too much hassle...but the sight of grown men and women, all born to a world where science and technology still exists, if dormant. Grown up people, who knew what the world looked like before - all decide to degenerate further backwards than neo-pagans! Each and every man and woman at that gathering was either willfully gleeful, or wilfully silent to be a part of an insane ritual that will in the end accomplish nothing but tainting their souls with the inkling of cannibalism. It would not shock me if I come to find them now, that they would sup on the meat of their fellow man...they're worse than the Infected. The infected didn't have a choice in this matter. These people? They had every choice, every opportunity to just say "No" - but they didn't...Why? Why would people so willing to see themselves as good and righteous with a true faith go along with such acts of Hedonistic barbarism? I suppose the old adage is true. All it takes for Evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing. But that is not the icing on the cake. They came back to the hospital, weapons drawn, just begging for someone to try something stupid...then they found Penelope. Why did she have to be there, of all times? Walker too decided to show his twisted face...They practically forced Penelope to give them names, then they very much did force her to take...something. That was the line. They had took their pound of flesh and they intended to take a kilo...I wanted to do something, I wanted to draw my rifle and just mow down the sick bastards there and then, have the threat be done with, Kill them all...But I didn't. I was forced to watch as they dragged her out, against her protestations - even drugged as she was...They got what they wanted and they wanted to linger more. Walker...He was baiting us so hard to try something stupid. I almost did. Cheryl being present was the only sign that stopped me. They had crossed the line, They had done what I had always expected them to do. Give them an inch, and they take a mile. Penelope came back to us...whatever the cult did to her - i didn't want to ask. I already knew it was sickening and depraved beyond all reason...they cut off her little finger, shot her in the back and left her for dead...how she got back to us, I don't know. I don't want to know. All that I do know is that by god am I glad that they didn't get to keep her with them, that they didn't get to do to her what they did to Walker...I patched up Penny as best I could, and just hugged her for what felt like an eternity. God be damned I wasn't going to let her go. But now I'm left feeling something I'd hoped to have left behind in Chernarus. A burned out inferno in my heart, nothing but embers and ash. A desire for vengeance, for righteous retribution, long dulled by the long years and the infection taking priority. But it only takes one spark to start a wildfire. And God willing, a Crusade will be waged. God damnit I hate this world. You couldn't just let us live in peace and research the virus - bring about the dawn of a new era. First the NBC's, now the Cult.
  14. Had an amazing one to one rp with @Harveywith some genuinely disturbing avenues for development opening up for my character as a result. As well as a nice little bit of cool medical RP from Alex and Tony in Storvik today, all in all, a nice chill day.
  15. What am I even doing here anymore? Part of me wishes I hadn't ever come back, perhaps things would've been better, perhaps things could have been different. But then again this is just semantics, impossible to know for certain...The past few days have been nothing but chaos and discord in the Hospital. Cheryl's been bedridden with the flu and at the worst possible time...Walker decided to make a return. Part of me was hoping against hope that maybe he decided to come back to us, to fix what was broken. I was wrong. I was so very, very wrong. He'd gotten himself and another person, a woman, Claymore - into trouble with a cult. Came crawling back to us like the rat that he is and asked for our help, and like a bunch of idiots, we gave it to him - we tried to keep him safe, to protect him so that he and Cheryl can have their ideal life together...the two had gotten engaged after all, I was thinking perhaps love would've kept him on our side. It didn't. We all ran out of the hospital, trying to find him after he decided to walk off with the cult...I got dragged into a fight with 30 infected and accomplished nothing besides burning through my ammo...the others? They weren't so fortunate, they got into a firefight with many of them turning up injured afterwards - Walker...He'd baited us out of the hospital and into the teeth of an ambush with his new cult friends. Fucking snake, I even said "It's his problem, not ours. He made his bed, now he can lie in it" - the others disagreed - save for milo...I can't help but imagine what's going through his head now - getting blamed for this whole situation. Things would have been worse if it were not for Ceilidh, hyper, extremely talkative and definitely ADHD suffering woman that she is? I owe her...a lot, she single handily dragged the injured back to the hospital and managed to stabilise them. Hell i'd go so far as to call her a Hero in that situation. Now with Cheryl back..she brought us time by agreeing to let the cult PREACH in our fucking home, and let them take human sacrifices. I will repeat myself, Human. Sacrifices. Cheryl I know you're just trying to keep us safe, But you are really trying my abilities to look the other way for the greater good here. We have a job to do, to research the virus and bring about a cure or at least a vaccine. But allowing and permitting human sacrifice...I can't stand for it. I won't stand for it. I have a feeling you have a plan that means we won't go through with it, but if not. I don't have a choice. I cannot be a part of such vile acts of debauchery that fly in the face of all that I believe in, I will not. We've been pushed around for so long by everyone, from the Bandits, to the NBC suits, and now to the fucking cult. It's time to draw a line in the sand. And I'll do it on my own if I have to.
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