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Brayces

Man is a Wolf to Man -[Unknown/Unused Freq - OPEN]

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*As you may flicker through the various tumbling frequencies searching in the void for the one you seek, you may pause on a typically unused and abandoned frequency. Briefly, as if catching a shadowy flicker from the corner of your eye you linger on the singular space in time. Static buzzes and whirls in the air around as you try to seek semblance where there is none, as you try to catch the shape that darted from your view. The silence wanes on and with the shrug of a shoulder you may choose to move forward searching for that errant point of contact you were so determined to find just a moment ago.
Though, if you were so inclined, you may choose to remain a second more and as you do so the pitch of the jumbled noise breaks, clarity rings through your device as a voice barely audible speaks. The occupant attempting to keep their tone and words low as they whisper into the unknown, not addressing anyone in particular and you may feel as if you have stumbled across a semi-private conversation without intending to. Gently, as if addressing a friend a young female speaks. Her cant seems restrained, as if holding back through unknown struggles and you may feel as if this is something they have done before, perhaps more than once. You were just lucky, or perhaps unlucky enough to stumble across it.*

"--and I'm sorry for letting you down... I know you're probably not upset, but I am sorry...
I see things differently now ... Maybe not ... the way you wanted me to, but I do...
I was always sorta slow on the up-take, remember?

...

It's just like you said, I mean, I already knew that but I didn't wanna accept it...
I thought, I could keep everything in check but that's not realistic, is it?
I can see you now, laughing the way you do and shaking your head. It'd still be funny, despite it all, wouldn't it?
To you, at least...

*She sighs, a rush of emotions that she cannot seem to neatly place into words tumble out through gritted teeth and wasted breath.*

I've noticed things now, things I didn't before and I should of. I feel like I've been so blind, so stupid.
All this time, always.
I feel like the last person to 'get it', you know? Like some stupid kid picked last in a game of whatever.
You would tell me,
'Chin up, kotě. Do not paint devils on the walls where there are none, ano?'
But, they are really there now. Just like they've always been, but ... I couldn't, no wouldn't look.
Why?

...

It doesn't matter because it's fucked, and there's nothing to be done. I go to people, hands open and they just shrug like it's all one missed exit on the freeway or something.
'Next time, sure', 'maybe should of done this instead,'
but it's not if or then
it's now and here...

And those I ... thought I could reach, ruined ... burned like paper...
So quickly, they just crumble...

And I wasn't even holding the match, but still I have all the ash in my hands don't I?

...

What do I do? Please tell me what I need to do ... 
Why don't you ever answer me ...

I'm not ready to do this all on my own...
I need you to tell me, just one more time ...
Just tell me what to do..."

*And just like that the transmission dies, the crescendo of static taking it's place as if the soft mutters in the late night never took place, and it may feel unlikely that the speaker will return anytime soon to finish the conversation she started.*

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*As Mary goes through the radio transmissions flicking through them one at a time and  all she hears is static sighing as if bored she is just about to turn her radio off when a familiar voice is heard, she narrows her eyes slightly confused and takes a while to decide whether or not to answer the radio or let it go. She looks around her to make sure the others are not about, those who would try and stop her. She takes the radio and takes a moment with it held up in front of her before pressing the PTT and speaking softly and quietly into the radio*

Ellie? Ellie is that you?

I know your voice anywhere, are you ok?

What couldn't you keep in check ?

What have you noticed?

*she sighs deeply*

Listen Ellie *she takes a moment looking around  and decides to continue* whatever has happened, has happened for a reason, you are not a stupid kid, your a very smart kid who doesn't give themselves credit.

Listens, things are never set in stone or in black and white sometimes we notice things that we perhaps should and choose not too because it is easier that way, it's easier and safer to turn a blind eye and hope it goes away and sometimes it does but sometimes it doesn't

I don't know what has happened for you to feel like you have ash on your hands, I would like to say that things don't disappear, burn away or crumble because they do that is just the way the world is now, one minute it is there then the next blown in the wind like ash

The only one who can decide what to do is you, no one can make that decision for you

but if it helps ask yourself the question you wish to ask and ask yourself, try and find the pros and cons to which ever it is you are trying to find out.

I am sorry but no one can answer for you

*You suddenly hear a male voice over the radio "what are you doing" it is to far away for anyone to tell who it is "Listen I gave no locations away she seemed upset I was just..."  the male doesn't seem angry but sounds paranoid  "I don't care if she is upset it could be a ruse you need to stop this turn that radio off" Mary sighs and you hear static before the radio is turned off

 

 

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Shakes sits down against the wall of his room and he pulls out his radio, switching the frequencies he used to use rather quickly - listening for anything. Static would be heard across most of them until he comes across on with a voice he hadn't had heard for what seemed to be months. Hearing the voice, he widens his eyes and stands up and walks outside to the balcony and just leans on the railing, listening to what the young voice says whilst he clasps the radio in his hands. He searches around for any nationalists that would overhear him but notices he's in the clear and quietly speaks into his PTT.

Nice to hear your voice again. Been a while.

I don't know... where you've been. Where Nikolai has been. Where anyone else from River's group has been.

But it's nice to know you're still alive from the last transmission you did.

I'm not gonna lie, I don't know what to say to you. I'm not exactly one for talking.

But, you're a strong kid. Mentally. As much as you're probably in an unstable state at the moment...

Fuck. I really don't know what to say. For all I know this could be wasted breath and nobody would ever hear my voice over the frequency.

It's... I dunno. It's nice to know you're still alive. Heard through the grapevine that a lot of shit has happened since.... yeah.

 

He releases the PTT, with mixed emotions on his face, walking down the stairs and throwing his radio onto the backpack and lying down on his bed - simply staring at the ceiling and thinking if he should have spoken or not.

 

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