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DerpyW

Knights Templar Recruitment

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*static is cut*

The sound of an American is heard over the radio

Greetings, whoever is listening to this. I am a man of god who is in search for other men of god. We have a task to accomplish. Many infidels plague South Zagoria, and we must defend our Christian interests. If anybody out there wishes to join me in this holy fight, don't hesitate to respond. Blessings of the lord be upon you. 

*static returns*

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*Ahmed turns on his radio and says a prayer in Arabic as he holds his push to talk*

you will die like all others. Allahu akbar!

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*Sheikh is finished with his prayer and grabs the radio when suddenly a random voice is heard then the Caliphate's voice follows*

As my Caliphate said, you will all die when you face the wrath of the strongest holy army the world has seen, we will spread the word of Allah and crush the true infidels trying to spread Christianity around our area, this is the Ummayat our Region, we control it and we maintain these lands and the religion that is followed.

This is your first and final warning, turn around and leave our region or be prepared to face the wrath of Allah.

*Sheikh sets his radio down and begins boiling his tea*

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*Eric reaches underneath his pew to grab his radio and speaks thusly*

Islamic dogs like yourself will never prevail over the righteous children of god, you can try and make us leave.

Deus Vult!

*Eric places the radio back underneath his pew and proceeds to pray for god's protection*

 

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*you hear a thick african accent*

"We have an army of 300,000 men on de border of Takistan ready for invasion at any time. You infidel stand no chance. I will find you and you will die by my sword. Keep praying to your false prophet, and your time will come. Allahu Akbar.

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*Jackson picks up the radio in boredom and presses the PTT*

Another theology that makes up commandments for manipulation.... Even worse a prophecy that makes people glorify a god that kills millions. 

*Jackson plays "Sympathy for the devil" by the Rolling stones. the words that you hear are. " I watched with glee while your kings and queens fought for ten decades for the gods they made."

*Jackson releases the PTT*

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