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"Business Proposition" Message To The People Of Chernarus

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Posted (edited)

*Tony feels his charred, burned hands, rubbing his palms together. He splashes water on his face, to forget some flashbacks he was having and over time, his arms stop trembling.*

"To the people of Chernarus, my name is Tony Rivers. I need not give an entire fucking speech about my life, but I need to share a little information to you fine folk."

*He would pull out a pack of cigarettes and lights one as he continues with his broadcast*

"Long story short I was a Homicide Detective back in my earlier days. Some shit mistakes lead me here. While yes, there are flesh-eating fucks roaming the streets we all need to do something with our lives nonetheless."

*His inhales from the cigar would be unusually long, the exhales even longer.*

"I'm willing to do business with anyone interested. What business you might ask? If you need a man to solve a... "case," or get some quick information, just let me know. I'll be on this radio broadcast quite a bit. I know how the world works and I know how people think, no, this is not some dumbass fucking trap. I'm not some secret agent from the Soviet Union or a fuckin' neo-nazi bred from German dictator himself. I'm just trying to do my fucking job."

*He would chuckle, for the first time in a while.*

"This might be random, or seem suspicious, but I can insure I'm just a man trying to hold onto something he cares about very dearly.. If anyone is interested I want to make a few things clear. I am not a fucking hitman, I am not some fucking undercover Slovokian spy. I am DEFINITELY not your close friend, and I will not stick my neck out for you. Other than all that fuckin' nonsense, payment will be required under certain circumstances, and the amount or value of such payment will depend on the job I am to be sent on.. I normally just want to try and get information, for information.. If things go sour I don't specifically plan to take anyones' side. Gangs, bad friends, and all that shit? It gets ya killed. This was a pretty fuckin' shitty business proposition but it is open to all takers. I want to make it very understood that I don't wish to be taking a fuckin' bullet from some cunts just because I'm working with someone.. I want everyone listening to understand, I am remaining neutral for now, I hope to god the majority of you can understand that, I don't wanna fuckin' die just yet."

*He finishes the cigarette and tosses it into the pearly blue ocean*

"To any women listening that isn't a cannibal, murderer, or downright fucking psychopath, I'll try and say this as best I can without sounding like a fuckin' weirdo. No one deserves to be alone in this world, especially not at a time like this. This whole broadcast might've made me sound like a giant dick, but I can prove ya otherwise. Do me a favor, and don't die before I get a chance to meet you."

*Thinking back of how he never tried to start a family because of his job, he saddens and lets out a sigh before the radio transmission cuts off.*

Edited by StewieRP

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Posted (edited)

*Jan hears someone talking on the radio. He starts listening more carefully after hearing the word 'detective'. He decides to pick up his microphone and presses the broadcast button*

''Sounds interesting, least to say. We could probably use someone like you around. You might have heard of me. Name is Depressed Cowboy, host of the only radiostation around in this region. Think we can make some form of agreement. You can maybe provide us some interesting and appealing stories and we will make sure your work reaches alot of people.''

*Takes a deep breath and pauses for a couple of second*

''How does that benefit me you ask? Well your name will be known by more people, wich can lead to more jobs for you. That's for sure a win win situation if you'd ask me! If your interested, make sure to let me know.''

*Jan takes a sip of Coffee and turns off the broadcasting console*


Edited by baskorthuis

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*Strikes a cigarette, his 5th of the day*

"Well ain't that just fuckin' splendid. I'll take all of it into consideration."

*Trying to be as brief as possible, he takes a long puff and turns off the radio.*

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