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AlanM

Jordan Holt's Journal

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I thought it'd be good to start writing things down, you know. Something to look back on to see how I ended up where I am today. A mountain of things have happened this week that I cannot even think of forgetting, so here it is.

A good friend of mine died today. Jack. I killed him, it was a mercy killing. It doesn't mean its justified in any way, shape or form. It just makes me feel a little less guilty if I say that it was a mercy killing. Well, anyway his adopted daughter Emily died a few days ago and was buried down by Cherno. Me and James thought it'd be good if we took Jack down to say his goodbyes to her. It hit him hard, we all thought he could be strong and push through it. But some people just don't have the strength to keep going after this world has dealt us so many fucking bad hands.

A day or so had past and we hadn't heard from Jack since Cherno, I quickly began to worry. This wasn't like him, he wouldn't stay away for so long without at least telling someone. A few hours had past before my radio buzzed to life and Jack told me to head to Gvozdno. It took me a few hours to get there but I eventually arrived and the rest of Gen Z were there. None of us had any idea what we were walking in to and I wish I never stepped into that god damn Church.

Jack, he was there and wanted us all to come and say goodbye to him one last time. He couldn't live without Emily. He said he wasn't strong enough to go in without her. He wanted to talk to me and James privately so we made everyone wait outside and of course Luca kicked up a fuss. That's when Jack asked me to do something I'd never forgive myself for... He wanted me to do it... Said that "He didn't want to do it himself". I was torn between what to do. Give a good friend his last wish or try to push him to keep going. That's when everyone else overheard and came running back in and seen Jack holding the barrel of my gun to his head. 

I didn't know what to do. I stood there and froze for what it felt like ages. I can't remember who but they pulled the gun away from his head. Everyone began shouting at me expect from Poppy, she was just surprised by the turn of events. Jack tried to persuade them to let him die and be with his daughter. No one would hear it and that's when Luca got a hold of a shrink on the radio. I took Jack up on the hill to talk about this alone. I was so distraught with what he had asked me to do that I didn't notice Poppy was following us to look out for me I think in case Jack tried to hurt me. I was feeling a mixture of emotions at this point and didn't have a clear head. I yelled at Poppy because I thought that she didn't trust me which is not true at all. I regret shouting at her. I had a brief talk with Jack and he agreed to take the trip over to Altar to meet the shrink. I was quiet the majority of the way there. I just didn't know what to say.

We stopped in the field by Altar while Luca ran ahead to get the Shrink with Poppy. Caleb and the rest left to kill the wolves that were nearby in case they headed our direction. This was when I made up my mind of what I should do for my friend.

Jack got on his knees, he cried and begged me to do it. I began to panic, no one else was here. Just me and him, one on one. The way he wanted it to be... Away from everyone. I had to do it, I don't think I'd have the strength to watch him go through this. I placed the barrel on his head and waited for a moment, hoping someone would come and stop me. No one did. I looked him in the eyes one more time and said "I'm so sorry, brother". He said these words I don't think I'll ever forget
"Thank you, Jordan"
I looked off to the distance, I didn't have the the will power to look him in the eyes and end his life. I seen Luca, Caleb, Poppy and the rest of
Gen Z running towards us and knew it has to be now. 

And with that... I ended my friends life and it will haunt me until my final days on this fucked up world.

Everyone hated me. I don't blame them, I'd hate me too. Viggo, Jason and Luca reacted the worst to this. They made me drop my weapon and I continued to walk off which ended up with Viggo shooting me. I lay there with his barrel placed against my head, just like the way I had mines to Jack. We argued for a while and eventually Caleb tried to get Viggo to calm down. He didn't though, He shot me again on the shoulder and I woke up back at Gvozdno, aching of pain. 

We began to speak calmly to each other. Tried to understand everyone's opinions on what I had done. They were all different... But I knew they all wouldn't forgive me for killing a family member, and if they are ever going to... its gonna take a lot of work that I'm willing to put in. Jack wouldn't want to see this Family fall apart.

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Well done! Interesting to see how he's feeling about what had happened with Jack! Keep these up! 🙂

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Posted (edited)

Bloody well done mate. Accurate with the last words and everything. Gonna be nice to see how your life unfolds after Jack since I'm not there to witness it first hand anymore

Edited by SonOfWatchman

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1 hour ago, MRS Bradtica said:

Well done! Interesting to see how he's feeling about what had happened with Jack! Keep these up! 🙂

 

10 minutes ago, SonOfWatchman said:

Bloody well done mate. Accurate with the last words and everything. Gonna be nice to see how your life unfolds after Jack since I'm not there to witness it first hand anymore

Thank you to both of you!

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Very well done!  Looking forward to more!

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Good read, keep it coming mate 😉

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Very nicely written, this “ shrink “ ran 20mins to get there 🤣 was awesome to be apart of it 

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