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Server time (UTC): 2021-09-24 06:05

Dealing with Depression


Angel

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  • Sapphire

WOAH, big switch in mood from the rest of the Off-Topic forum, I know. But I think that this is a really interesting topic to cover considering the amount of people we have here from all over the world. I was thinking about this the other day because I could try to use RP as a coping mechanism, same with real life acting, pushing my mind away from dark places and keeping myself distracted.

This lead me to think about how many people also struggle with this and may have their own way of dealing with it.

Obviously, everyone is different. Your go-to coping mechanism is only yours, but if you do something specific (playing games, writing, watching movies, etc.) to help you cope with a tough time, maybe sharing it could help others find their own way to improve and get in a better place.

 

I've found that art is my biggest coping mechanism. Writing, drawing, listening to music, even doing designs on Photoshop. It's such a nice catalyst for me, it overwhelms my mind and doesn't allow me to think about much else. Unfortunately, other things that I used to have as coping mechanisms (like playing games) stopped working, but I'm slowly getting back to it.

 

Keep in mind: Whatever mechanism you have to defend yourself, it's never enough to neglect professional help. You can't have a psychologist/therapist in your room 24/7, but if you feel like you're not coping, please seek help. It's honestly great.

So, with this in mind, what's your way of coping with depression, if it ever haunts you?

 

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  • Sapphire

Hanging out with irl friends , playing video games . Just ignoring it works , keep busy and have a proper schedule for the day . Doing nothing makes it worse. 

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  • Diamond

Umm hmm ?

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  • Sapphire

I used to have depression 

I did things I liked and made some solid friends

Edited by Farmer-BorisRP
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1. Working on a garden plot I own, that's ~15 minutes from where I live. Mowing  the grass, digging, watering the plants, renovating (paiting very small house, gate etc) and seeing the results of hard work, while listening to the "silence" of the nature. It's a whole different world, like the one that the next point takes me to.

2. Games. Be it paper & pencil, board or pc. I always sink deep into them, forget about time passing by and the problems that are just around the corner. Returning to DayZRP is also not just a coincidence.

3. % beverages that give me inspiration to write stuff, edit videos, draw and share things like the ones in this post.

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Sometimes I wonder if everybody deals with the same shit as any other person, but identify it as something different.

Some people say they are depressed, some say they can't deal with certain parts of their life, some say they they're feeling empty. What if depression is actually more common than we think it is, and everyone has to fight it one way or another, maybe without even knowing it? 

There are three ways for me:
1) Lock yourself in a room, grab a guitar or sit beside a piano, create a song that makes you feel certain things you don't want to feel right now, write lyrics, and experience complete catharsis.
2) Clean myself up, wear my favourite black shirt, black jeans, dark brown brogues, get out of my comfort zone, take a seat close to the fountain in the middle of the city and look for some loners to talk to
3) Telling myself "Endure you fuck". Sometimes throwing punches against a wall right after (once managed to break 2 fingers, after 4 consecutive misplaced hits (walls are heavy)).

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  • Diamond

Coping mechanisms aren't good long term, living a healthier lifestyle helps with depression. Going to the gym and working out, plus watch a lot of Jordan B Peterson, he can help a lot with his interviews and lectures online with the advice he gives.

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dominos pizzeria bruh

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  • Sapphire

I have massive mood swings, somethings trigger them more than others. I know I've had a lot of things in DayZRP that have sent me into that hole but I just try to talk to people on here and it seems to help.

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  • MVP

I have had severe depression according to doctors since I was 11. That's when it was only me having minor problems - I don't know what'd be now...

I normally ended up blanking out, distracting myself such as if a video or movie or game gets boring to me - I switch it immediatley. If a song on the radio bores me, boom, switched. If people aren't talking anything important or interesting for me, watch a video. I have to constantly distract myself to end up not becoming more severely depressed. And sometimes it becomes very unhealthy. Like... VERY unhealthy. I also comfort eat A LOT so I gain weight like no tomorrow. I try to motivate myself going to the gym (But for some reason they always seem to be closed -_-) or eating healthy but nothing releases endorphines like a good bar of chocolate, coffee and cake...

I also like to do photoshoots with my friend who is a professional photographer since it boosts my confidence. Distracts me and it's a fun day to get out of the house.

As much as I hate to admit it, if I don't distract myself, suicide becomes a topic in my mind. Hence I have to switch. Or end up randomly singing. Or you hear me laughing cause I'm watching videos whilst you try to talk to me. ? I wish I wasn't like this but yeah...

I seeked professional help when it got really bad when I was caring for my dad. I went to the doctors for help. I went for help and they discharged me. In the end I gave up putting my energy into things that only failed me. I seem to be ok as of now. My mum is what keeps me strong, she helps me cope.

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I've managed to not have to deal with antidepressants because I'd like to avoid relying on meds for that. So I saught out a therapist and started going to the gym. The last 10-ish months have been a massive turnaround for my physical and mental health, and it's all been well worth it.

Edited by Callie
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  • Sapphire
31 minutes ago, Callie said:

I've managed to not have to deal antidepressants because I'd like to avoid relying on meds for that. So I saught out a therapist and started going to the gym. The last 10-ish months have been a massive turnaround for my physical and mental health, and it's all been well worth it.

I take SSRIs (Antidepressants), but not to make me "happy". I take them to regulate my mood as I do have very strong mood swings, akin to being bipolar. You took the tougher route, as SSRIs aren't enough to make you fulfilled. I'm very glad you've been able to go through it by turning your life around for the better. ❤️

 

1 hour ago, Craig said:

Coping mechanisms aren't good long term, living a healthier lifestyle helps with depression. Going to the gym and working out, plus watch a lot of Jordan B Peterson, he can help a lot with his interviews and lectures online with the advice he gives.

Coping mechanisms definitely aren't the solution, I wouldn't replace therapy with any of them, even the more healthy ones. But they are good for when you're by yourself and you've gotten yourself in a bit of a hole.

Going outside, going to the gym, eating healthy, that's all a whole other story. That shit's the cure more often than not, but not easy if you're deep in a hole like some people are, including me a couple of years ago.

 

1 hour ago, Gaerodo said:

Sometimes I wonder if everybody deals with the same shit as any other person, but identify it as something different.

Some people say they are depressed, some say they can't deal with certain parts of their life, some say they they're feeling empty. What if depression is actually more common than we think it is, and everyone has to fight it one way or another, maybe without even knowing it? 

Literally everyone in the world deals with depression at some point. If you lose someone, if something goes really badly for you, you can enter a depressive state. Some last longer than others, some people deal with it throughout their lives, but it's such a common thing and most people don't even know about it. They may even think they're being "weak", when it's a natural thing that can be dealt with relatively easily if caught early!

 

1 hour ago, Mademoiselle said:

---

I'm really sorry you go through what you go through. I'm sure you've heard it all, but it's never too late to look for help again if it gets worse and you're never "too far gone", as I've heard some people say. You've gotten this far, you can make it the whole way through ❤️❤️❤️ 

Edited by XieAngel
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I've been a long time sufferer of MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) and during that long time it went untreated. Through talking to my Doctor and confiding in her she immediately knew what had to be done and started me on a cocktail of drugs that took from a very dark place to seeing things differently, and more importantly giving me someone to talk to and slowly realising that the whole thing wasn't 'just me'.

That there was a real physical problem and a real solution.

When I joined this community I was still taking the medication, but I made friends here and without even trying created a long term support group of people whom I call, to this day, my dearest of friends. I gradually found that I was needing the  medication less and less and after  years of taking it and about a year after joining this community and making the friends I did, I was no longer in need of it.

I've been off the medication for about 2 years now. Sure I have to keep an eye on how I may be 'thinking' of things, but the biggest issue when your suffering from depression is that feeling you have of being alone, wondering what is wrong with you, and coming back to the same thought that the world might be better off without you.

The RP is a good way to take your mind off of those thoughts, but the friends you make are the biggest value with any community even beyond RP. I know I am grateful for my friends and our friendships at times may get distant but we always keep in touch and soon are close again. We help each other and support each other. That's the real benefit of being here. The friends you make.

Edited by Chaostica
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  • Developer

I've been through quite a lot personally but never discount the traumas and struggles of others. I'm still working with my doctor to figure out exactly whats going on, but ever since I can remember I've not only had mood swings but crippling depression. I started taking medication for it at the age of 13 and it didn't really do too much. To this day the depression medication doesn't really work all that way. The only thing thats ever really worked is the bipolar medication they put me on recently. It's evened me out pretty good. What I did for coping while growing up was expressing myself with music. I found that my only real talent in this world is just that. Expressing my emotion through playing music. I'm the kind of person who could pick up an instrument and a week later take part in a concert with said instrument with moderate quality. Though during my college years I supplemented not being able to play music as much by drinking heavily and RPing. I found when I wasn't manic, the RP did help somewhat, but when mania would hit I'd... well... self implode. Those of you who remember me from the past know exactly how those times went. I'd burn all my bridges and become a pariah for awhile until things settled down. Things got so bad that I went completely off the deep end in one of my depressive episodes and attempted suicide. I spent a week in a mental hospital and a month in the partial hospitalization. Funny bit about that is, it actually made me worse. When I'd come out of my mania, I'd have no  one to turn to when the depression set in. So I guess at this point I don't really know if I just struggle through bipolar or if MDD is involved in it as a secondary diagnosis. I sure as hell know PTSD and G.A.D are apart of it. As of the last few months, I've been doing somewhat better, and as of the last month I've been REALLY doing better. I think thats due to the meds finally working right and the fact that I've gotten myself a wonderful support group online as well as three people I really like that I'm moving in with. 

Sorry for wall of text Tl;dr, I struggle with mental illness and have my entire life. Meds and support are helping and that if anyone else is struggling to find that ear and shoulder, I'm your girl. We gotta stick together.

PS. I found wood working is actually very soothing. I've been working with PVC, but have started to branch out to working with wood. Once I move out to portland I'll be able to explore my hobby more. I found a great love for making flutes.

Edited by Empress Nino
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  • Sapphire

Whenever I feel depressed, which doesnt happen very often anymore, the best thing I can do is to do literally anything to keep my mind on that task. Sitting still was the problem so I would just fill my day with activities or chores, whether it was work, going to the gym, cleaning, hanging out with friends. Eventually it would pass for me. 

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  • Diamond
1 hour ago, XieAngel said:

but not easy if you're deep in a hole like some people are,

I understand completely, if you or anyone else on here needs help, theres plenty of people out there to turn too, and I am no expert on the matter, but if anyone needs an ear to listen to them or someone to talk to, or even someone to share a journey with to maybe get some motivation to get started in a more active and healthier lifestyle, please don't hesitate to reach out to me.

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  • MVP

I mean I don't know if it is depression or just a couple of bad days, but usually, if I am feeling sad I just revert to my Chill playlist on Spotify or read some books, which seems to help. I can recommend "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck" by Mark Manson or "12 Rules for Life" by Jordan Peterson. Both amazing books that tackle similar subjects and can help you understand how to live a happier life.

And of course:

7 hours ago, N-ToxRP said:

dominos pizzeria bruh

 

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Dealing with depression is very hard and very personal so all I'm gonna say is this: Coping by playing games or so is just fighting the symptoms for a long-term solution fight the roots of the problem. How you do that is up to you, get professional help if you think it will help but, in the end, it's mainly up to you. 

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I have suffered from depression through most of my adult life.

With the years and as a response to life events it has worsened. Several times I was ready to start picking the method by which  i opt out.

Every time I found that delving and  investing myself in my hobbies helped to a degree but still the loneliness was a major factor, particularly post-divorce.

Nowdays I recognized my mechanism to be the following package:

 

1. The "Never Alone" principle - through adopting multiplayer games and  communities as my main passtime activity, I am never really alone and always have someone to talk to. My daily "alone time" is summed up in a drive to and from work.

2. Musical selection - A person in a certain mental state may be attracted to types of music that are resembling or associated with that state. It's important to fight this association and try to avoid depressive or 'downer' music that reinforce your anxieties or depression.

3. If you know yourself, change yourself. If you do not know yourself, knowing yourself is a good place to start.

4. Be in Therapy. This should probably have been in the top of the list.

5. When not in therapy, do not be worried or concerned about what your supporting beams will think. They are there to support you. Use them. They wont judge. If they do - don't worry. there will be others. Even if it may not seem like that just now.

 

And ultimately, if  all else fails... reach out to a stranger. Some people find it easier to open up to strangers. They don't know you, thus cannot judge. Sadly it also means they cant sometimes not care.

 

If you want to talk or need help, if you feel your friends have failed you, your love for life has faded, nothing brings you joy any more, if you are unable to generate excitement or anticipation... talk to me. I'm here and I want  to listen and I want to help. I've been there. To a degree, maybe still am. Maybe it's not something that ever goes away. But... You are reading this thread. It's a start. it's a sign you ahven't given up just yet. It's a sign that yous till have it in you to reach out.

Regardless of whether you do or don't... Please seek therapy. Please. I don't know a single person who would not have benefited from one form or another of some mental healthcare.

 

❤️

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Aight,

So a lot of people think I'm a grade A prick... Are they wrong? Nah. They really ain't. But (I know I will receive 0 messages) if anyone out there is feelin' like they've got no one to chat too, just about daily shit or mental health issues(I don't mind either way) shoot me a PM or add me on steam. Trust me, you won't get what you want to hear from me, but I'll tell you the truth and what you need to hear. 

Respect to all of you for openly talking about stuff like this, I won't/wouldn't do the same but... That's just me. 

So yeah, shoot me a PM if you need someone to talk too. Who know's... Maybe you'll become a mate of mine, or dislike me even more. 

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  • Emerald

I'm not going to go into too many details on my personal life, but I've struggled with various degrees of depression throughout most of it (thankfully these days things are different).

I would like to say that it's important to recognize that some ways of "coping" might not actually be coping.

It's easy to get wrapped up into something thinking it's actually helping you when it's doing the exact opposite. I did this with drugs for a very long time, repeating to myself it was one of my way of dealing with things, it helped me etc. It did the exact opposite and that took me a while to realize.

The same goes with RP in a sense, some might consider it a way to deal with things, I believe that it can also  be a way suppress real underlying issues (this isn't true for every one of course, but if you're depressed, spending most of your time online / in RP, it may be).

The only thing that has ever helped me was extensive therapy. I went once a week for around a year (no meds as I am personally against them and went with a form of therapy that doesn't use them often) and it really turned my life around. That with some other good life events, I'm most certainly a better person now. I want to go back into therapy as I feel I can still benefit from it.

 

For anyone out there who has these issues, please get professional help. It might take a while, it might be difficult to find the right person to help, but improvements will come with time. Make sure to keep an eye on these coping mechanisms you have and assess that they are actually helping. I know it's easier said than done.

 

Edit: Just to clarify around my views on meds, I recognize that some more extreme cases may need them.

Edited by uSx
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  • MVP

Dealt with depression when I was 13 had a pretty rough time in life and managed to get well again after 2 years. For me, the hardest things were to get rid of the habits that created the depression. I kept going back to it and not doing the right things. It's hard and I got it last year for about 8 months and had to go on the antidepressant. I'm gonna be honest they helped but I became like a zombie not feeling negative emotions was weird. Music usually helped me a lot and my friends stood by me to get through it. I know people who have had it for a long time of their life and are still struggling through it. It gets better, trust me even though it might not like it at times it does

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My favourite way to deal with depression has to be going out, going to music events, not gigs but massive events usually catered around drum and bass. Life got pretty good around July of this year and I had never been so happy in my entire life around a couple months ago I was out with some people I usually don't go out clubbing with and I just felt an overwhelming sense of sadness for absolutely no reason, I ended up having to wake my mate up to come pick me up bc I had no idea what was going on, I was used to feeling empty and numb and dealing with a perpetual state of sadness but this low seemed like the most extreme low I'd ever had. Since then it's happened a couple more times but I finally feel like I'm coming out of it again, hopefully I'll be fine lmao. Shit like this usually works itself out.

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