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The Mental State of Nino Kobiashvili - A Diary

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Entry 001

Entry 002

Entry 003

Entry 004

All new entries will be added to the OP, as well as a new post in the thread. There will be hyperlinks to the place where the next entry was posted.

Mental State of Nino Kobiashvili

ნინო კობიაშვილის გონებრივი მდგომარეობა

Entry 001

1420 15/05/2018

 

“We wave our flags, we swallow fear like medicine
We kiss the hands of profiteers and their congressmen
But I've seen too much (of this fear and hate)
I've had enough (and I'm not afraid)
To raise a shout, to make it clear — this has to end.”

 

I apologize in advance if my English is not that good doctor, but that is what happens when you're working with a Georgian. 

 

The passage above is from song by Thrice. I thought about the song today. No matter what, this little diddy couldn't escape the echos of my head. I used to be one of those flag wavers. I was a grade A chest thumper for Georgia. I overlooked the failures of my country, and the problems that plagued us. I was whole heartedly behind the decision to recall all military and police to the capital... sacrificing millions to the slaughter. My fiancée Elene's tears wetted my coat after she found out due to the decision, her family was consumed by the biters. I never told her I had a hand in it. My pride and arrogance didn't let me see the human condition. All the lives lost, and there wasn't a dammed thing I could have done about it even if I wasn't on the side that sent them to their deaths.

I stood hard fast by our decisions to leave people behind... to cut our losses and abandon a brother or sister in arms to the wolves if need be... but I never expected it to happen to me. I am... was... a colonel in the Georgian Armed Forces... surely they wouldn't cut me loose would they? Well... they did... and no matter what I do they won't take me back and now... I don't wanna go back.

I can’t write much for fear of repercussion, but I did something very stupid. I went to the Russian border and turned myself into the border post where they do scientific research. There was FSB there as well. They took blood and urine samples from me and then an FSB agent interrogated me.  I honestly didn’t expect to come back alive. Was this attempted suicide by FSB or desperation to see my only reason for life again?

I’m okay, but was very tense.

When they interrogated me, they told me they had launched a missile at Tbilisi last week! They murdered hundreds! I… I had no idea what to think. It’s a miracle I didn’t break down then and there. I had trouble breathing… I could feel my heart race and all I could imagine was my poor love Elene being mutilated, her body parts littered in the rubble of demolished homes and hearts. I thought about the events that lead up to stranded here… and how I could have stopped it at any point. How it’s my fault that my dear Elene is either dead or scared to death itself for her Nino.

I asked for a free pass to Georgia and back to Chernarus. I planned to get that pass and load up volunteers to go on a road trip… kick in Tbilisi’s walls if I had to. Anything to get the most important part of my life back.

I didn’t get what I needed… but I got something else.

They have FSB agents in Tbilisi, which I did figure… Soon one of them will be dropping off a package with a proper radio, equipment, and instructions on being able to communicate to Chernarus… If she’s alive then… I’ll be able to hear her voice once more.

After they reinserted me into South Zagoria, I collapsed in a panic. I know not the hours I sobbed. My mind kept running through events best not thought about, and how it’s my fault. All my fault.

I love you Elene…

 

End of Entry

 

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

Entry 002

0840 17/05/2018

 

Four days

Four more days until I learn whether my life blood is still able to see the same moon as I. Yet four days is an eternity out in the field, especially with how the last few days have gone. In that time it is entirely possible I will lose my battle. All life is struggle, and no matter my fortune, the only constant in life is struggle.

So much has changed in one month in the land of lost souls and shattered dreams. Even since my first entry, I’ve been bogged down with my loss and fight… there isn’t even a doctor to read this anymore.

I could always stop writing…

*she starts writing in Georgian*

I can’t though… I must be strong and be better for Elene. I need an outlet to process the seemingly senseless barbarism of my surroundings, and the demons that lurk inside. Even though there is no doctor anymore, I can at least spit my words onto paper and keep it in a language no one will fucking understand. Now I don’t need to be so critical on the OPSEC. Anyway…  It’s hard to even recall the last few days, but I’ll give ‘er the old college try.

The seventh circle of hell began pretty much the moment I returned to the hospital after my suicide run into Russia. I was chased by the biters for quite some time. Since I was low on ammunition, I wagered it was safer to outrun them rather than fight… waste ammunition, and then knowing my lug I’d run into a pack of hellhounds. On a side note, if humanity can recover enough to start making films again, someone really needs to make a film similar to Jaws, but instead of a shark, it’s those unnatural wolves that plague South Zagoria Oblast.

Anyway…

Fuck… Honestly I’m spacing out on this one. Like, Beth and I ran up to Pavlovo town and talked on the way. I told her about some of the intel I lifted off the Russian scientific research data center. I neglected to tell her about the other stuff I ripped off their servers. Bad things. I’m not even sure how to tell the public about it. Who the hell would believe a strange Georgian woman when she says the Russians are planning on liquidating the region? Who would listen when I plead to them about radio jammers about to be dropped in the region? How about the man in the fuckin’ kolto tank lookin’ thing?! I didn’t give the data to anyone yet... well sans Straz… and I presume he gave it to his superiors and now the entirety of the CDF is shitting itself.

Where was I? Shit oh yeah I was writing about Pavlovo. So we went there and there was a quite literal metric fuck ton of people. I swore that half the goddamn population of South Zagoria Oblast was there. These radical Christian nutjobs were there as well. We went into the pub and had a few drinks while waiting for everything to blow over and the conversation outside got pretty damn headed. I felt my heart pound, my neck itch and sweat. I felt dizzy and wanted to faint. I felt like I was actually about to shake hands with the void. The music… the fucking music. The bartender was playing some classical music in the pub. I collapsed on the ground and started to sob. Beth was on top of me in seconds, handing me Xanax like it was candy. The argument outside grew to a boil and we evacuated the pub.

A few hours later, we were on call waiting for any patients to arrive at the hospital when both the Christians and Louie - the Anarchy fuck blood - rolled in making wild demands and accusations. The Christians claimed that the Swedish guard Kjartan was throwing fire bombs at their church and preaching about Oden. They gave us an ultimatum. Give him up to be baptized, and if he doesn’t he’ll be baptized by fire.

Honestly, I could have handled that if it wasn’t for what Louie wanted. One of our other guards, Castle, is a wanted man by Louie for his actions during the war. We were scolded for allowing him among our ranks, and made a wild comparison to us being Switzerland and harboring an Nazi… fuck these people don’t understand thought experiments. We were told flatly that we were to fire Castle, or we would all be killed… We had one day to accomplish both of their demands...

The night ended thankfully with no event, but still the fact persisted about what the day after would bring. We decided it best to evacuate the hospital. Beth and others went off to Miroslavl, and everyone else scattered… Everyone I was truly close to is now seemingly as distant as my dear Elene is.

Four more days.

I’m heading up to Stay Yar to offer my services to the little band of Mafiosos. Hopefully, with luck, I’ll be able to convince them to help me save my beloved. I pray that it won’t involve me selling my soul.

 

End of Entry

 

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Entry 003

0832 27/05/2018

 

*the following is written in Georgian*

I know not of what to say anymore. What to write anymore. I’ve been so mentally tossed and turned over the last… fuck I don’t know for how long. At least all the work has kept my mind from my dear Elene… and Amber. Oh god yeah I forgot to write, Amber is still alive! My piece of shit government lied to me! I was holding out some hope… at least SOME that would show that my government was still showed comradery towards me. I figured that since I’m a Colonel, then maybe they would keep me in their heart for awhile. Yet no…

I will write no more of those traitorous fucks.

So… the FSB agent in Tblisi delivered on time the equipment and my note... but there was a hick up...

I didn’t anticipate Elene and Amber to full on ditch mode on me and run off before I could tell them what to do. Such is my life. Elene has always been an impulsive one. While to her I’m the child and I love this, I pull the big pants up in our relationship and make the hard decisions. Otherwise she’d go off and well… do what she did.

 

Panic attacks are a daily occurrence now… two a day, sometimes three. Until they are safe in my arms, I’ll never be rested. If it wasn't for my little intrusion into the Russian data centers network, I wouldn't have the information on hand to save them. So thank Christ for their incompetence and my sheer luck. I mean fuck me and call me sally I ended up pulling off a one in a million with that man in the middle attack and the spoofing amongst so many other things.

 

I wrote last of heading up to Stary Yar to speak with Tony Moretti… and well I did it and things went weird quickly. I offered my services to get his electricity running in the town, and once they found out exactly what and who I am - well not exactly everything but… - they asked if I wanted to go full on member of their Mafia family…. Like christ alive I was recruited into the Mafia. It didn’t take long at all for me to be moved up to Soldato, and after everything that has happened…. I think I’m close to another promotion.

 

A device was dropped by a Russian plane that we went on a mad hunt for… we got it…. Eventually. I was eventually handed the device for a day to take it apart and figure out exactly how it works. With the data I received, once I finish getting watering working in the town and finish off building the economy, I can work on spitting out countless numbers of these listening devices. Hopefully I can get this done before Elene tells me where she is. I want to drop a few devices along the journey to listen in for later. I’ll try and sneak up to the datacenter at night in a ghillie suit and bury the bastard under a bush… get their communications. Thing is, I’ve made some good improvements on the device… well at least I haven’t yet but I know how to do it. I want to make it possible to start dumping all the audio onto the dark web, which will be possible… just a pain in the fucking ass.

 

Now the Elephant in the room. My former Comrade Captain Cernik is… is dead. He was shot in the back of the head by an SVD in front of me. I beat him before hand and a cannibal had his way with him. I was so mad at him for everything that had become due to his bullshit… but I found a note on his body. I read it aloud over the radio and broke down in sobs. What have I done? He was a friend… and I think no matter what happened he still saw me as one. I wish he would have survived now… maybe he could have been redeemed… the following is the letter I found on his body.

 

My name is Stepan Cernik.

Many of you know me from the radio. Many more of you know me by my actions.

We’ve all made mistakes in our life. God knows me more than others. We lie, we cheat, we steal, and we sin; sometimes against people we know, sometimes against people we don’t. No matter who you are, you’ve hurt someone, whether intentionally or not.

There comes a time where you realize that those you’ve hurt most are those closest to you. Those you considered your family, or loved like your own – and that’s when it really starts to bug you. What’s my life been like? Did I do more harm than good? How will people remember me? How will God judge me?

Oskar Hosek. You were my commander, but more than that, you were my friend. I didn't agree with your methods but you were there for me and I was there for you. Slava Chernarus.

Anna Kovar. You showed me how to be human again.

Merek Cernik. The light shining in darkness, friend.

Nino Kobiashvili. Should Old Acquaintance be forgot, and never thought upon; fully past and fully gone: for auld lang syne.

Svetylana. I love you with all my heart. I have since I met you, and it pains me more than anything to not know whether or not you are alive. Everywhere I turn, I am reminded, of that beautiful summer day, of the park, and of that young pretty girl who kept glancing over through sips on a smoothie. You are kind. You are caring. You are understanding. More than you should have been. You are more than I ever deserved, and yet somehow found it in you to be in my life. The years we spent together were the best of my life.

I am scared, Svetylana. Scared for you, scared for me, and scared for our daughter. My deepest fear is that I shall never see you again. I pray with all my heart that you found a way out of Pirgoridki. I love you. More than you will ever know.

Katalina. My sweet baby girl. I would do anything to have another minute to spend with you. I can imagine you’re saying all kinds of words now, and it brings me to tears never knowing the sound of your sweet, sweet voice. If by some miracle your able to ever read or hear this, just know, that your father never forgot about you. You were in my mind in every waking moment, you and your mother. Everything I did was for you, from the moment you were born to the moment I die.

I hope they'll do well. I hope no harm comes to them, from within or without. I told them I’d be with them forever, and that I’d never leave their side.

Lying, then. I guess I did.

Lied to you, Svetlyana. And Katalina. Told you I'd be with you forever, caring for you. And protecting you. And I didn’t. I couldn’t. But I wouldn't go back and unsay it once if I could.

What was the point of it all? So many failures.

But I never forgot your face. Or Katrina’s…or Svetlyana, or Merek, or Nino. They used to say that happened after a while but it never has for me.

Maybe the only point of all that living was to keep those pictures in my head going for as long as I could. It was the only life I could give you. Not a day went by without.

It wasn't choice. I chose to die again and again. Just never did. Body had its own drive.

I wish everyone well. It's been a gift to me, my time here, and at the end of it all, to behold the innocence.

Goodbye, Svetlyana. Goodbye, Katalina.

 

Goodbye, Chernarus.

 

I’m a monster… Forgive me Captain… my comrade. In another universe we would have made Chernarus great again. Slava Chernarus brother.

 

End of Entry

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Entry 004

0423 06/05/2018

*The following is written in Georgian*

 

It’s been awhile hasn’t it? When your mind races you lose track of all semblance of time. In the old world that might have been a critical error… what I’ve done and been through due to my wanton disregard of time. In these new days however… it somehow doesn’t matter. No, I’m getting ahead of myself. It still matters. Now more than ever. I know not when my world will come crumbling down… but it’s coming. This high will subside, and the reality of our world will set in. I’m faltering again. I shouldn’t write here. What if they find it? I can’t detail my only best play… maybe. Am I paranoid? Maybe those that get away with it only do so by being paranoid. It’s an  uncalculated risk to write more, but I need to get some thoughts out. That's what this is for right? A way of connecting with myself? The doctor never wanted to read this… Perhaps the game is still afoot.

 

B.B.F

 

Our only salvation. I've crunched the numbers and thought about it and the only solution really is B.B.F… We’re doomed in probably two months if we don’t execute the plan. Russia is coming whether we like it or not, and it won’t stop until everything living is fried. My plan accounts for Russia burning their civilians to retake the motherland… perhaps that is what awaits us. Once the CAF falls, there will be nothing to thwart a Russian advance. In the span of a few hours they could torch everything in South Zagoria… given three days they could possibly wipe out the entire country, only keeping the infrastructure… what they need to advance themselves in the future. The only fault I see is they need to hold the region, or they’ll just have to do it again when inevitably people start to migrate again for brighter horizons. So what really is their plan. What is Putin thinking? Wish I had a way in to know. If time wasn't a factor… something constantly eating away at your possible choices until inaction become actions… I could possibly figure it out. Unfortunately, I am no god… I do have the listening device though. In the right hands that could be god. No no no… I don’t have time for that. Not now… not while we’re so close. Russia will fall within a month…

 

We do have one thing in our favor. I believe the invasion might be delayed due to the current situation in Crimea. Only downside is now the Russian Caucasus lands will be teeming with activity, biter and otherwise. Phase one of the plan might be already corrupted. Without it, nothing falls into place. I need more time.What about Elene? I need her now more than ever… and now that the chess pieces are moving once more my Intel won’t help as much as I had hoped. I need to go alone. I can’t risk anyone else being caught… especially those I care about. God damn you Elene why won’t you tell me where you are!

No… I have no time for that right now. What I have in front of me is all that matters.

 

Time…

 

End of Entry

Edited by Empress Nino

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Glad you're keeping a diary now! ? This one is a sad entry, but I'm excited for more. 

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I mean Nino is in a very sad state at this point. Keep reading 'em @Brayces and you can get fun ideas to fuck with me through admin tools. ? 

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1 minute ago, Empress Julia said:

I mean Nino is in a very sad state at this point. Keep reading 'em @Brayces and you can get fun ideas to fuck with me through admin tools. ? 

Of course!! ? I'll have to find some more free time to boot up RCON again and send more messages. 

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This is cool, keep up the good work.

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Good read! Can't wait to see more

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Entry 002

0840 17/05/2018

Four days

Four more days until I learn whether my life blood is still able to see the same moon as I. Yet four days is an eternity out in the field, especially with how the last few days have gone. In that time it is entirely possible I will lose my battle. All life is struggle, and no matter my fortune, the only constant in life is struggle.

So much has changed in one month in the land of lost souls and shattered dreams. Even since my first entry, I’ve been bogged down with my loss and fight… there isn’t even a doctor to read this anymore.

I could always stop writing…

*she starts writing in Georgian*

I can’t though… I must be strong and be better for Elene. I need an outlet to process the seemingly senseless barbarism of my surroundings, and the demons that lurk inside. Even though there is no doctor anymore, I can at least spit my words onto paper and keep it in a language no one will fucking understand. Now I don’t need to be so critical on the OPSEC. Anyway…  It’s hard to even recall the last few days, but I’ll give ‘er the old college try.

The seventh circle of hell began pretty much the moment I returned to the hospital after my suicide run into Russia. I was chased by the biters for quite some time. Since I was low on ammunition, I wagered it was safer to outrun them rather than fight… waste ammunition, and then knowing my lug I’d run into a pack of hellhounds. On a side note, if humanity can recover enough to start making films again, someone really needs to make a film similar to Jaws, but instead of a shark, it’s those unnatural wolves that plague South Zagoria Oblast.

Anyway…

Fuck… Honestly I’m spacing out on this one. Like, Beth and I ran up to Pavlovo town and talked on the way. I told her about some of the intel I lifted off the Russian scientific research data center. I neglected to tell her about the other stuff I ripped off their servers. Bad things. I’m not even sure how to tell the public about it. Who the hell would believe a strange Georgian woman when she says the Russians are planning on liquidating the region? Who would listen when I plead to them about radio jammers about to be dropped in the region? How about the man in the fuckin’ kolto tank lookin’ thing?! I didn’t give the data to anyone yet... well sans Straz… and I presume he gave it to his superiors and now the entirety of the CDF is shitting itself.

Where was I? Shit oh yeah I was writing about Pavlovo. So we went there and there was a quite literal metric fuck ton of people. I swore that half the goddamn population of South Zagoria Oblast was there. These radical Christian nutjobs were there as well. We went into the pub and had a few drinks while waiting for everything to blow over and the conversation outside got pretty damn headed. I felt my heart pound, my neck itch and sweat. I felt dizzy and wanted to faint. I felt like I was actually about to shake hands with the void. The music… the fucking music. The bartender was playing some classical music in the pub. I collapsed on the ground and started to sob. Beth was on top of me in seconds, handing me Xanax like it was candy. The argument outside grew to a boil and we evacuated the pub.

A few hours later, we were on call waiting for any patients to arrive at the hospital when both the Christians and Louie - the Anarchy fuck blood - rolled in making wild demands and accusations. The Christians claimed that the Swedish guard Kjartan was throwing fire bombs at their church and preaching about Oden. They gave us an ultimatum. Give him up to be baptized, and if he doesn’t he’ll be baptized by fire.

Honestly, I could have handled that if it wasn’t for what Louie wanted. One of our other guards, Castle, is a wanted man by Louie for his actions during the war. He was so pissed that a person who fought him in a justified war was still alive... little did he know I also fought in the war... We were scolded for allowing him among our ranks, and made a wild comparison to us being Switzerland and harboring an Nazi… fuck these people don’t understand thought experiments. We were told flatly that we were to fire Castle, or we would all be killed… We had one day to accomplish both of their demands...

The night ended thankfully with no event, but still the fact persisted about what the day after would bring. We decided it best to evacuate the hospital. Beth and others went off to Miroslavl, and everyone else scattered… Everyone I was truly close to is now seemingly as distant as my dear Elene is.

Four more days.

I’m heading up to Stay Yar to offer my services to the little band of Mafiosos. Hopefully, with luck, I’ll be able to convince them to help me save my beloved. I pray that it won’t involve me selling my soul.

 

End of Entry

Edited by Empress Julia

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Entry 003

0832 27/05/2018

 

*the following is written in Georgian*

I know not of what to say anymore. What to write anymore. I’ve been so mentally tossed and turned over the last… fuck I don’t know for how long. At least all the work has kept my mind from my dear Elene… and Amber. Oh god yeah I forgot to write, Amber is still alive! My piece of shit government lied to me! I was holding out some hope… at least SOME that would show that my government was still showed comradery towards me. I figured that since I’m a Colonel, then maybe they would keep me in their heart for awhile. Yet no…

I will write no more of those traitorous fucks.

So… the FSB agent in Tblisi delivered on time the equipment and my note... but there was a hick up...

I didn’t anticipate Elene and Amber to full on ditch mode on me and run off before I could tell them what to do. Such is my life. Elene has always been an impulsive one. While to her I’m the child and I love this, I pull the big pants up in our relationship and make the hard decisions. Otherwise she’d go off and well… do what she did.

 

Panic attacks are a daily occurrence now… two a day, sometimes three. Until they are safe in my arms, I’ll never be rested. If it wasn't for my little intrusion into the Russian data centers network, I wouldn't have the information on hand to save them. So thank Christ for their incompetence and my sheer luck. I mean fuck me and call me sally I ended up pulling off a one in a million with that man in the middle attack and the spoofing amongst so many other things.

 

I wrote last of heading up to Stary Yar to speak with Tony Moretti… and well I did it and things went weird quickly. I offered my services to get his electricity running in the town, and once they found out exactly what and who I am - well not exactly everything but… - they asked if I wanted to go full on member of their Mafia family…. Like christ alive I was recruited into the Mafia. It didn’t take long at all for me to be moved up to Soldato, and after everything that has happened…. I think I’m close to another promotion.

 

A device was dropped by a Russian plane that we went on a mad hunt for… we got it…. Eventually. I was eventually handed the device for a day to take it apart and figure out exactly how it works. With the data I received, once I finish getting watering working in the town and finish off building the economy, I can work on spitting out countless numbers of these listening devices. Hopefully I can get this done before Elene tells me where she is. I want to drop a few devices along the journey to listen in for later. I’ll try and sneak up to the datacenter at night in a ghillie suit and bury the bastard under a bush… get their communications. Thing is, I’ve made some good improvements on the device… well at least I haven’t yet but I know how to do it. I want to make it possible to start dumping all the audio onto the dark web, which will be possible… just a pain in the fucking ass.

 

Now the Elephant in the room. My former Comrade Captain Cernik is… is dead. He was shot in the back of the head by an SVD in front of me. I beat him before hand and a cannibal had his way with him. I was so mad at him for everything that he had become due to his bullshit… but I found a note on his body. I read it aloud over the radio and broke down in sobs. What have I done? He was a friend… and I think no matter what happened he still saw me as one. I wish he would have survived now… maybe he could have been redeemed… the following is the letter I found on his body.

 

My name is Stepan Cernik.

Many of you know me from the radio. Many more of you know me by my actions.

We’ve all made mistakes in our life. God knows me more than others. We lie, we cheat, we steal, and we sin; sometimes against people we know, sometimes against people we don’t. No matter who you are, you’ve hurt someone, whether intentionally or not.

There comes a time where you realize that those you’ve hurt most are those closest to you. Those you considered your family, or loved like your own – and that’s when it really starts to bug you. What’s my life been like? Did I do more harm than good? How will people remember me? How will God judge me?

Oskar Hosek. You were my commander, but more than that, you were my friend. I didn't agree with your methods but you were there for me and I was there for you. Slava Chernarus.

Anna Kovar. You showed me how to be human again.

Merek Cernik. The light shining in darkness, friend.

Nino Kobiashvili. Should Old Acquaintance be forgot, and never thought upon; fully past and fully gone: for auld lang syne.

Svetylana. I love you with all my heart. I have since I met you, and it pains me more than anything to not know whether or not you are alive. Everywhere I turn, I am reminded, of that beautiful summer day, of the park, and of that young pretty girl who kept glancing over through sips on a smoothie. You are kind. You are caring. You are understanding. More than you should have been. You are more than I ever deserved, and yet somehow found it in you to be in my life. The years we spent together were the best of my life.

I am scared, Svetylana. Scared for you, scared for me, and scared for our daughter. My deepest fear is that I shall never see you again. I pray with all my heart that you found a way out of Pirgoridki. I love you. More than you will ever know.

Katalina. My sweet baby girl. I would do anything to have another minute to spend with you. I can imagine you’re saying all kinds of words now, and it brings me to tears never knowing the sound of your sweet, sweet voice. If by some miracle your able to ever read or hear this, just know, that your father never forgot about you. You were in my mind in every waking moment, you and your mother. Everything I did was for you, from the moment you were born to the moment I die.

I hope they'll do well. I hope no harm comes to them, from within or without. I told them I’d be with them forever, and that I’d never leave their side.

Lying, then. I guess I did.

Lied to you, Svetlyana. And Katalina. Told you I'd be with you forever, caring for you. And protecting you. And I didn’t. I couldn’t. But I wouldn't go back and unsay it once if I could.

What was the point of it all? So many failures.

But I never forgot your face. Or Katrina’s…or Svetlyana, or Merek, or Nino. They used to say that happened after a while but it never has for me.

Maybe the only point of all that living was to keep those pictures in my head going for as long as I could. It was the only life I could give you. Not a day went by without.

It wasn't choice. I chose to die again and again. Just never did. Body had its own drive.

I wish everyone well. It's been a gift to me, my time here, and at the end of it all, to behold the innocence.

Goodbye, Svetlyana. Goodbye, Katalina.

 

Goodbye, Chernarus.

 

I’m a monster… Forgive me Captain… my comrade. In another universe we would have made Chernarus great again. Slava Chernarus brother.

 

End of Entry

Edited by Empress Nino

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my heart

Cernik 5/27/2018

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o7 nino?

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...son of a bitch....

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5 hours ago, CaliforniaRP said:

o7 nino?

I no understand? No kill Nino. She too bad ass to die.

Edited by Empress Nino

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14 hours ago, Empress Nino said:

Goodbye, Chernarus.

thought it was like a suicide note lmao

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2 hours ago, CaliforniaRP said:

thought it was like a suicide note lmao

that was the letter Cernik wrote lmao

She included it in her journal.

Edited by Empress Nino

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Nice read again. Sad that I've never got any more time to treat your charachter.

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Entry 004

0423 06/05/2018

*The following is written in Georgian*

 

It’s been awhile hasn’t it? When your mind races you lose track of all semblance of time. In the old world that might have been a critical error… what I’ve done and been through due to my wanton disregard of time. In these new days however… it somehow doesn’t matter. No, I’m getting ahead of myself. It still matters. Now more than ever. I know not when my world will come crumbling down… but it’s coming. This high will subside, and the reality of our world will set in. I’m faltering again. I shouldn’t write here. What if they find it? I can’t detail my only best play… maybe. Am I paranoid? Maybe those that get away with it only do so by being paranoid. It’s an  uncalculated risk to write more, but I need to get some thoughts out. That's what this is for right? A way of connecting with myself? The doctor never wanted to read this… Perhaps the game is still afoot.

 

B.B.F

 

Our only salvation. I've crunched the numbers and thought about it and the only solution really is B.B.F… We’re doomed in probably two months if we don’t execute the plan. Russia is coming whether we like it or not, and it won’t stop until everything living is fried. My plan accounts for Russia burning their civilians to retake the motherland… perhaps that is what awaits us. Once the CAF falls, there will be nothing to thwart a Russian advance. In the span of a few hours they could torch everything in South Zagoria… given three days they could possibly wipe out the entire country, only keeping the infrastructure… what they need to advance themselves in the future. The only fault I see is they need to hold the region, or they’ll just have to do it again when inevitably people start to migrate again for brighter horizons. So what really is their plan. What is Putin thinking? Wish I had a way in to know. If time wasn't a factor… something constantly eating away at your possible choices until inaction become actions… I could possibly figure it out. Unfortunately, I am no god… I do have the listening device though. In the right hands that could be god. No no no… I don’t have time for that. Not now… not while we’re so close. Russia will fall within a month of execution…

 

We do have one thing in our favor. I believe the invasion might be delayed due to the current situation in Crimea. Only downside is now the Russian Caucasus lands will be teeming with activity, biter and otherwise. Phase one of the plan might be already corrupted. Without it, nothing falls into place. I need more time.What about Elene? I need her now more than ever… and now that the chess pieces are moving once more my Intel won’t help as much as I had hoped. I need to go alone. I can’t risk anyone else being caught… especially those I care about. God damn you Elene why won’t you tell me where you are!

No… I have no time for that right now. What I have in front of me is all that matters.

 

Time…

 

End of Entry

Edited by Empress Nino

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