Jump to content
Server time: 2018-09-25, 21:54

Sign in to follow this  
Lori

Lucid Dreams & a Child's Screams [Roxanne Garcia]

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)

This is a journal consisting of loose papers kept in the Bible Roxanne carries in her black teddy bear. They appear to be written on the back of bullet trade information from ammo boxes.

First Bundle of Papers:

Spoiler

 

Am I the last Spaniard? Everyone says they haven't seen any others... Even people who traveled here from Europe on foot or in car... Are the friends I use to laugh with now shambling across Barcelona? Maybe I should have stayed home. I could spend eternity with my friends, that'd be fun, right?

 

I had another nightmare. I was on a cliff. Below I could see Marv... and Ivan and Alex and Andy and everyone else from camp. It was dark and foggy, but I knew it was them. It feels like I'm constantly balanced on the stupid cliff. I can see the claw marks on it from other people who were balanced on it before. I think some of them were Avery's. I can see him clinging to a branch halfway down. I think I fell once, but I clung to the edge... and I feel like I'm still clinging to the edge. I don't want to fall into the abyss of monsters, but... maybe I need to?

 

I keep feeling like I'm being watched. They're still out there. Sometimes the feeling is so strong it takes everything I have not to shoot my rifle into the trees to chase away the stalkers. Eyes are always on me. Always. Always. Always. Always. Sometimes my brain feels like a stalled car. Like it's stuck on repeat as my chest tightens and my throat closes. I can't breath. My left eye has been hurting recently. I heard that happens sometimes with wounds and changing weather. A big storm did roll in... 

 

 

Second Bundle of Papers:

Spoiler

Avery always shakes. He's always scared. He hides it behind his mask. I wonder... does he even consider himself a person anymore? When I imagine what his brothers did to him, my blood boils. If I ever meet Moses, I will shoot him. Those girls... blaming him for what his brothers did. He saved her. They havent been broken yet. I wonder how they will... think, what they will think when it finally happens. I hope... it doesn't happen, but I don't think that's possible anymore. I kind of want to punch them. 

 

I remember the first time I met Miss Alex, she said that little girls were either liabilities or not. I can't be a liability. Marv says I need to be able to do these kinds of things. He's been... saying I don't recently, but all I can remember is looking down at Asher and hearing him say I need to as he handed me the lighter. I can still smell the gasoline. I can't be a liability. I don't want to be. They hurt me. They destroyed me. I... want to make them hurt, but everytime I get the chance, I can't do it right. I need to do it. I made myself do it. Even if I felt myself dying as I did it.. I need to be able to do it. I can't be a liability. I can't be a liability. 

 

I want to punch Dolores, but I don't want her to die or be enslaved. I need to talk to Faith. Something bad is coming. I can feel it. Avery doesn't want them to be hurt either. We need to get in touch with them. Pinche pendejo. Why did I send those radio messages? I got so angry... I should have just turned my radio off. Now I don't even know if they'll listen. 

 

I fell asleep. I woke up screaming. Again. Again. Again. It always happens. Everyone always screams though. The adults always scream here. They always threaten each other. They always threaten to kill each other. They run ahead into conflict. They yell and they scream. I always end up screaming too. I always end up tossed between them as they yell. Somehow, a lot of the time, it becomes my fault. I get yelled at. I can't be a kid. I dont want to be a liability. I can't be a liability. They told me I wasnt going to be coddled. Even if my ankle is broken or sprain, I can't be coddled. We don't live like that. I have to be better. I need to be better. I need to keep my screams to myself. To my nightmares. I have to. If they think I'm a liability, they wont want me.

 

I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. I fell off the cliff. 

 

Vengo a usted en rezo que pide el perdon de mis pecados. Confieso con mi boca y creo con mi corazon que Jesus es su hijo, y que el murio en la cruz en el Calvary que puede ser que sea perdonado y tenga vida eterna en el reino del cielo. Padre, creo que Jesus se levanto de los muertos y yo pido que usted ahora ve3nga adentro a mi vida y que sea mi senor y salvador personales. I repent de mis pecados y le adorara todo el dia de mi vida. Porque su palabra es verdad, confieso con mi boca que nazco otra vez y soy limpiado por la sangre de Jesus. En el nombre de Jesus, amen.

 

Estoy cansado. Solo quiero irme a casa. Mama...

 

Edited by Lori

Share this post


Link to post

I always advocate for people to write down things that happen to their characters in the form of journals or diaries or just simple time line narratives, so I'm pleased to see you're doing the same! Even if things don't get a lot of feedback, I still find it fulfilling to capture all those moments that have happened for the sake of prosperity!

Like a little personal project.

I guess what I'm saying is, keep going Lori! I'd love to see you stick with this and continue postin'! <3

Share this post


Link to post

I really like it and I wanna read more. ^_^

Share this post


Link to post

I love this. I definitely need more of them!! :3

Share this post


Link to post

Interesting take, the dream thing. I dig it.

Share this post


Link to post

That was a good read, reminded me of Brayces' diary entries. Goodjob

Share this post


Link to post
Posted (edited)

Updated with yesterday's fun time RP. Also, thanks for all the kind words <3 I'm normally really shitty about keeping stuff like this. I hope I can keep it going. It really helps with a character like Roxanne who hides a lot of her true feelings behind snark and anger.

Edited by Lori

Share this post


Link to post

*Sobs.* Roxie wants to punch Lo in the face! :o Haha, but this was a good read!

Sorry I haven't been in game, I'm sure I will soon! <3 Keep at it and keep going. 

Share this post


Link to post

Well now that was quite the treat to read.  Good work and keep it up! :)

 

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×