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VodkaWolf

Vent Corner: The place to talk about problems you have IRL

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Just now, VodkaWolf said:

Dude that's rough, I totally get how you feel. 

You've probably heard it a million times over, but there are plenty of other fish in the sea.

All in all, just remember that this is a short bad time of your life that will pass on.

You've got my support and I'm sure you'll make the right decision moving forward.

Feel free to PM me or talk in TS if you need a virtual hug. I'm here if you need me!

You see. I totally appreciate it, but its this whole virtual thing, its ruined me. I want something real and I want to meet someone special

that can truly make me happy you know what i mean. Everything feels like a lie to me now and It is so hard to trust people. I really appreciate it though

@VodkaWolfso please dont take offense. was sent here by another member in TS so I had to let this out somewhere.

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8 minutes ago, Hardwired said:

-snip-

No offense taken man, I understand that, there's only so much I can do from over here in Sweden.

Just remember that nothing in life will ever make you permanantly happy. I think Bob Ross put it in a good way...

"Gotta have opposites, dark and light, light and dark. Just like in life. Gotta have a little sadness once in a while so you know when the good times come"

I dont wanna sound like a broken record, but like i said, I'm here if you need me ? 

Edited by VodkaWolf

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Thank you @VodkaWolf❤️ I love bob ross

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27 minutes ago, Hardwired said:

Want to go Uni already and just move out from this aggressive and stressful family, hopefully meet someone to be with since in the last week the girl I have been talkin to for months blocked me and deleted me from everything (the girl of my dreams). So im in a heartbreak at the moment. Being alone sucks. I need someone in my life to just give a big hug. This is one of the reasons I cant keep up with staff work a lot recently. Hope it gets better. 

Plenty of girls at uni mate, just wait.

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Just now, Harvey said:

Plenty of girls at uni mate, just wait.

Hoping dude ? 

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I’m in a really shitty mood. I had this girl I could swear was the one. We could talk for hours, wed virtually fall asleep on the phone. 

Of course. Just as this happens. My depression relapses and slaps me down into a pit. She notices that my quirky personality is gone and she lost interest. 

Im so done with life, I just wanna be happy. 

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So, there are a lot of things on my mind that I just need to get out there. Appearently ever since I was a child, I was on the autism spectrum and eventually dropped off It and I was only told about this earlier this week. It's a minor thing, but it really made me understand why I always have issues understanding social cues and reading people. My major issue comes from my life with AD/HD. Now, the whole thing behind why I fear bringing this up, because it sounds petty. I always felt that I needed to say it's depression or I have anxiety when it's just AD/HD. I was diagnosed with it when I was about 7 years old and I never really thought about how much of an effect it had on my life until I spoke with a psychiatrist for the first time since I was 7 (When I was diagnosed). I find it hard to say that a lot of my flaws and issues come from AD/HD because I have a constant fear that someone will tell me that having AD/HD is nothing, that it just means I have trouble listening and that they have it harder than I do. It's made me think that I can't suffer having AD/HD, that it's a positive thing where I have a lot of energy and hyper. Shit like that. But it's been nothing but pain with It, I rarely can follow goals, I'm extremely impulsive (Food, money, conversation), it's hard for me to complete anything, I get sudden bursts to do something and then lose all motivation for it the next, and my life is just constantly unstable. I never just get a balanced day or a normal day. It's been making me stressed over the smallest things and I've realized that I rarely think about what to say and just say whatever is on my head. This causes me to be rude, impatient, pretentious, illogical and just a host of other things during conversations. 

At times I get hopeless from It, but I can't stand thinking of asking for help because I feel like it's petty to ask for help because it's not depression or anxiety. All of this causes me to often over think every little detail that is presented to me and criticism is taken to heart almost all the time. It's caused me issues in sustaining relationships, sustaining friendships, education, work and basically everything. I have a constant feeling that I am alone, that I can't go to people for helo because they have worse issues and my constsnt need to give empathy snd compassion kicks in. I always want to avoid my issues just for the sake that other people are better off. 

I have a big mouth, I rarely know how to just keep it shut. My ADHD has made me a bad friend, a bad partner, a bad son, a bad student, a bad employee, and I feel like my time is ticking until I've got nothing left. That I'll be washed up, alone and that I deserve it. But Like I said, it's hard for me to say that some of this can be blamed to my ADHD at all and only blame myself which destroys my self-esteem. Then obviously comes how loud I am and how obnoxious and annoying I often am. I know that most people in this community have experienced that heavily and all I can say I'm sorry for being like that. I know that I can never keep myself organized and give up on even the simplest of tasks. I always tell myself that I'll do it later, and that later never comes.

And even with all of this, I know what I'm saying isn't completely true at the back of my head, but it still stays and torments me. I often have a feel of being unloved and that I don't deserve it either. It bleeds into this community as well, thinking that I can't make any good character or story or build any good reputation. I feel like I'm not a good community member.

I don't know what I'm looking for by typing this. Awareness? Acceptance? Understanding? 

Whatever it is, I'm losing myself, year by year. I'm scared.

Edited by Kain

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7 minutes ago, Kain said:

-snip some relatable shit-

Okey-doke, this is something I can relate to more than I imagined.

For a bit of context first off; I'm also on the spectrum. ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder) to be specific. It was always suspected by my parents when I was younger than I had something along those lines, however was only diagnosed in 3 years ago. Admittedly, it's quite different to ADHD in a lot of regards. However, that's not what I feel is relatable...but rather the shame to admit it, and request help with the struggles I have. I'm not really in this position anymore, but I do entirely understand where you're coming from when it comes to my past feelings. 

First off - the most important thing to under is this; being on the spectrum should never be treated the same way as the likes of depression/anxiety. Depression/anxiety is something which can be overcome, and that in no way is a positive aspect of someone's life. Whereas...being on the spectrum is the complete opposite. Yes, you may behave and perceive things quite differently to those who are neurotypical...however, that's not necessarily a bad thing. There are certainly some of these things which make it harder to truly function in our society, though you shouldn't be looking to fix them. Rather, find the better in them and how to adapt around it. Alongside this, there are many positive aspects to it Either way, I do understand why you are fearing admitting it and asking for help. I was determined to be considered normal, to "overcome" my autism. Admittedly, I still do have my moments. Nonetheless, I've learnt that it's not a case of fixing or overcoming what some people may consider "faults" - but rather, it's a case of discovering the positives and strengths of it, and working to further improve that. There is no shame in asking for help with that either.

I apologise if these paragraphs are a bit all over the place, and I feel as if I've butchered my wording. But I'm hoping you get my point. 

Anyway, hope this helps - and if you ever wanna chat more about it, just hit me up in DM's or TS. I'm more than happy to discuss it further.

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7 minutes ago, Jacques said:

Okey-doke, this is something I can relate to more than I imagined.

For a bit of context first off; I'm also on the spectrum. ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder) to be specific. It was always suspected by my parents when I was younger than I had something along those lines, however was only diagnosed in 3 years ago. Admittedly, it's quite different to ADHD in a lot of regards. However, that's not what I feel is relatable...but rather the shame to admit it, and request help with the struggles I have. I'm not really in this position anymore, but I do entirely understand where you're coming from when it comes to my past feelings. 

First off - the most important thing to under is this; being on the spectrum should never be treated the same way as the likes of depression/anxiety. Depression/anxiety is something which can be overcome, and that in no way is a positive aspect of someone's life. Whereas...being on the spectrum is the complete opposite. Yes, you may behave and perceive things quite differently to those who are neurotypical...however, that's not necessarily a bad thing. There are certainly some of these things which make it harder to truly function in our society, though you shouldn't be looking to fix them. Rather, find the better in them and how to adapt around it. Alongside this, there are many positive aspects to it Either way, I do understand why you are fearing admitting it and asking for help. I was determined to be considered normal, to "overcome" my autism. Admittedly, I still do have my moments. Nonetheless, I've learnt that it's not a case of fixing or overcoming what some people may consider "faults" - but rather, it's a case of discovering the positives and strengths of it, and working to further improve that. There is no shame in asking for help with that either.

I apologise if these paragraphs are a bit all over the place, and I feel as if I've butchered my wording. But I'm hoping you get my point. 

Anyway, hope this helps - and if you ever wanna chat more about it, just hit me up in DM's or TS. I'm more than happy to discuss it further.

It's not like I'm looking to overcome ADHD, it's more just being able to speak about my issues with it and how it's been causing more issues than anything with my recently and I didn't really know how to articulate that.

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3 minutes ago, Kain said:

It's not like I'm looking to overcome ADHD, it's more just being able to speak about my issues with it and how it's been causing more issues than anything with my recently and I didn't really know how to articulate that.

Ah okay, that makes sense.

And honestly, I can't sugar coat it - it's hard to. What I'd suggest, if you need to vent directly to certain people about it - maybe try and take the time to write it down and send it to them. It's how I did/do it. It relieves the stress and anxiety you may experience when in the moment of talking to someone about it over voice. It gives you all the time to think it over, and truly express your struggles/emotions in the words you intend for it to come across with.

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3 minutes ago, Jacques said:

Ah okay, that makes sense.

And honestly, I can't sugar coat it - it's hard to. What I'd suggest, if you need to vent directly to certain people about it - maybe try and take the time to write it down and send it to them. It's how I did/do it. It relieves the stress and anxiety you may experience when in the moment of talking to someone about it over voice. It gives you all the time to think it over, and truly express your struggles/emotions in the words you intend for it to come across with.

My main issue is that I'm afraid in the sense that people often have told me that there is no issues or suffering in people who have ADHD. So, I feel left out in the piece for help. There are plenty of awareness movements and support and anything for autism and other mental health issues. However, what I notice a lot is that, there seems to never be empathy if you have ADHD and often times it will be accompanied by a stupid butterfly joke. I end up feeling ostracized and never having the ability to remotely fit in to any group. I still struggle to this day to find a group that can fit in well with.

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3 hours ago, Kain said:

My main issue is that I'm afraid in the sense that people often have told me that there is no issues or suffering in people who have ADHD. So, I feel left out in the piece for help. There are plenty of awareness movements and support and anything for autism and other mental health issues. However, what I notice a lot is that, there seems to never be empathy if you have ADHD and often times it will be accompanied by a stupid butterfly joke. I end up feeling ostracized and never having the ability to remotely fit in to any group. I still struggle to this day to find a group that can fit in well with.

Okay, I see what you mean now. Sorry for misinterpreting it slightly. But I do understand where you're coming from now, and can completely empathise with your situation.

Unfortunately, as much as mental health awareness is improving as of lately...there's still certain aspects of it people don't take seriously or simply do not fully understand. Autism, ADHD etc. are some of those things I feel. If you say to anyone, you suffer from chronic depression or anxiety - they'll know exactly what you mean. However, mention autism or the likes...and people tend to just shrug it off as a learning difficulty. A lot of people don't appreciate the struggles that come with it, alongside the many gritty details.

So, honestly...it's an odd one. There's two ways I feel there are to tackling this issue:
1. Take the time to attempt to inform those who do not fully understand your situation, hoping they'll understand. I know it might seem weird...but it does help. And well, if the person's not prepared to listen - are they really worthy of your friendship?

2. Try to see the humour in the situation. I'm a firm believer that humour is one of humanity's best coping mechanisms. I do appreciate it's not for everyone, but I feel like this is one of those things we need to adapt to laugh at. As well, a lot of people really don't and simply never will, understand or appreciate what you're going through. So, if they make a mockery of it - rather than dwelling on it, find amusement in it also. As I can assure you, most people aren't doing it maliciously.

I personally use a combination of them both. Adapting to the person/situation accordingly.

I know it's not as simple as we'd all love it to be, but personally - I feel like that's what it is. Right now at least.

 

I hope this helps.

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My milkshake has gone stale, I can't find my bank card to order more milkshake.

Edited by Lady In Blue

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9 minutes ago, Lady In Blue said:

My milkshake has gone stale, I can't find my bank card to order more milkshake.

Does it no longer bring all the boys to the yard, 'cause damn right, it's better than mine?

ekQpV59.gif?noredirect

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honestly i would think after so many years and seeing how his cousin and all the arguments my dad would learn to either severely cut back on his drinking or just stop all together but every other time he has a reason to go out and drink with either his boss, coworkers, friends.........my little brother(yea last time our older brother and me went for a drink with him was about a week after we got my brother from fort brag after his discharge from the army......that was about 3 years ago) and then he wonders why my mom is super pissed at him the morning after. to give context of how bad the alcoholism is withing parts of his family(mainly his maternal side) his cousin is not allowed to attain a driver's license in  ANYstate in america due to how many DUIs he's received and been arrested and imprisoned for as well as his uncle who has RENAL KIDNEY AND LIVER FAILURE from years of heavy drinking. and to top it all tonight after being at work and not seeing them when i got home hearing they went out together for the first time since my dad passed his master plumbers test and you guessed it he came in stumbling drunk......and my mom rushed up to their room to weap from how my dad acted towards her, yelling at her saying beyond hurtful things to her saying she's lazy(funny last i checked she was the one before his dad moved back into the house running HIS grandparents to doctor's appointments going grocery shopping with my great grandmother and she still does at least 2-3 times a week and trust me I've gone a few times it ain't light shopping) and to boot my mom dealt with his attitudes and bullshit for all 6 years of him becoming a master plumber and now the next time my grandfather comes up from arizona he's gonna have some CHOICE words with my dad

always nice to end a good day of work(even had a fantastic sushi lunch and got a 20$ tip)and come home thinking the night will be nice and calm...only for......things to happen

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.........................................................................my boss's oldest son is an asshole.........................................................................................that is all

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About to finish a leadership course, been a rough few weeks but did take a few pointers from old mate Harold. He's always been there for me. 

Hide-the-pain-Harold-11-funny-bits.jpg

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For years(meaning before my little brother's decision to constantly use my parents bathroom for whatever reasons, and my sister's choice to follow suit and then prior her leaving the house) there had been an issue in the designated,"KIDS" bathroom despite the frequency my father takes baths in there all the time we have given our dogs baths in there and a small stint of time where practically my whole family had to use this bathroom as my parents master bath had to be redone for a whole different measure of reasons. And each of of my siblings as well a few times myself were guilty of not closing the curtain for the tub/shower curtain all the way or properly and this lead to water getting into the corner by the toilet which after years of course resulted in the space where the water consistently  ran down lead to a small leak to the ceiling on the first floor below the tub. That issue was handled 3-4 years ago. As a result of that we also established that not having the exhaust fan to vent the room on during showers or hot baths starter to weaken the grout and some of the sheet rock in the room in some part mainly in the aforementioned tub/shower area. Fast forward to now the issue has started to allow itself to be know again and now my parents are demanding....neigh ORDERING my older brother and I to completely fix the issue by essentially gutting and redoing the bathroom.....COMPLETELY! Now I have no issue taking responsibility for something I had a part in however I take issue that neither of my parent have made mention that their two other children are also at fault for the issue in question. So far my older brother started crunching numbers and he's totaled it to cost about between 2000-3000 USD to do so ..................but for some crazy people thinking our parents say it'll cost almost double if not TRIPLE our estimates. Also to give a slight shred of context we are NOT hiring someone to do it as far as they have stated WE ARE(meaning my older and myself)! Meanwhile I can understand the sheet rock, wonderboard/concreteboard, wood framing, and tile that need replacing, but they want us to get a BRAND NEW TUB AND SINK TO MEET THEIR COMFORTS! Despite both those fixtures still being very much intact and in very usable condition. And to put an extra level of bullshit on top of it all they want it done before christmas(if not then by thanksgiving) all the way I'm trying to plan a trip to Poland which I have a feeling now my parents will go from being all for me going to, "OH! SO YOU CAN FUCKING AFFORD TO GO TO POLAND BUT YOU CAN'T FIX THE BATHROOM YOU FUCKED UP!??!?!? I fucking hate my family at this point in my life honestly and I just want to get away from them forever

fuck!

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i thought id never post in this thread, but the only people who i want knowing about this are strangers on the internet. lemme regale you all with a story, was dating a girl for not too long (4 months?), we never told anybody about it and she ended up dumping me and starting dating a good friend of mine, lets call him Brendon or some shit. when i looked back, she was making a lot of excuses to not "come over" (if you catch my drift) in the week-or-two leading up to the dump. pretty obvious she was seeing / talking to Brendon before the dumping, but i was blind. ended up really fucking me up, and still does, because id never expect to get cheated on. i just trust like that. i stopped hanging out with people, slept in a lot, and fucked my GPA. now i take antidepressants. it actually caused me to stop hanging out with our mutual friend group, and i stopped joining our friend group discord thing as well. months pass, fast forward to two-three weeks ago. ive started joining discord again, hangin out, and her and cuntface piece of filth Brendon are still together. cuntfa -- I mean, Brendon -- and the rest of our friends still dont know we dated at all. SO Brendon and her are constantly joining the Discord while im in here and talking, which again, id at least expect the decency to leave me the hell alone. but alas, she changes guys like she changes clothes so why do i expect her to be decent? sigh. anyways thats it, enjoy my story, internet strangers.

 

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Basically for me, My motorbike broke down, its gonna cost 1500 pounds all together to get it running another year, It is my pride and joy and I literally have no money to fix it. So currently I feel like I am losing a big part of me and it is actually heartbreaking, bikes are not just there to get around, they bring you friends and excitement, they are social and amazing! 

 

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9 minutes ago, Hardwired said:

Basically for me, My motorbike broke down, its gonna cost 1500 pounds all together to get it running another year, It is my pride and joy and I literally have no money to fix it. So currently I feel like I am losing a big part of me and it is actually heartbreaking, bikes are not just there to get around, they bring you friends and excitement, they are social and amazing! 

 

You could buy a new bike for that price, Whats wrong with it? Im sure you can get the parts and fix it yourself for much cheaper.

Edited by SweetJoe

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34 minutes ago, Hardwired said:

Basically for me, My motorbike broke down, its gonna cost 1500 pounds all together to get it running another year, It is my pride and joy and I literally have no money to fix it. So currently I feel like I am losing a big part of me and it is actually heartbreaking, bikes are not just there to get around, they bring you friends and excitement, they are social and amazing! 

 

Wait wait wait.. I can by a Honda CBR 300R, off the lot, for like $4.5K.. And a 2016 for like $2K.. what type of bike you rocking that cost that much to fix? An Indian? A ninja?

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14 minutes ago, CaliforniaRP said:

Wait wait wait.. I can by a Honda CBR 300R, off the lot, for like $4.5K.. And a 2016 for like $2K.. what type of bike you rocking that cost that much to fix? An Indian? A ninja?

Nope a 50cc ped

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13 minutes ago, Dom Is Dead said:

Nope a 50cc ped

sounds to me like he is being taken advantage of. Again whats wrong with it? Cali is listing American currency, take into consideration that you need 1500 pounds which is equal to 1981.05 as of my posting this. You should price out the parts yourself and attempt repairs or buy a new bike.

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