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Western

Common Folk [WIP]

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   445
Posted (edited)

 

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Invitation.

Spoiler

 

Our story begins when Endeavour received a letter from his old friend Reggie Valentine. Endeavour and Reggie and been friends for years, they met at the monsters of rock music festival in the nineteen eighties. Reggie and sent Endeavour inviting him and his family to Reggie’s daughter’s wedding. The wedding would take place in Chernarus south east of Russia.

Setting up plans.

Spoiler

 

Endeavour picked up his phone and looking through his names on the phone until he got to his friend Joseph Thomas. Endeavour and Joe had known each other since the early two thousands. Endeavour phoned Joe.

 

Endeavour: Hello Joe ya bastard

Joe: Yeah the fuck do you want.

Endeavour: Pack ya shit we're going to Russia.

Joe: For Fuck sake. Right when are we leaving.

Endeavour: Few weeks I've got to ring few people I know over there so we can stay in a house and not a shit hole again.

Joe: Pick me up then in the morning before we go.

*hangs up*

 

Over the next few hours Endeavour phoned the his family members letting them know what the plan is.

The Taxi.

Spoiler

 

The morning came and everyone was at Endeavour house, They were waiting for the taxi the Joe called and they would be off. A beep outside was heard and everyone grab their bags and walked outside to the van. Endeavour daughter [TBA]  walk back over the house and pick up Endeavour bag and Endeavour said thank you and he locked up the house and walked over to the van and got.

 

Everyone was talking and Endeavour and Joe starting talking.

Endeavour: you sleep at all?

Joe: No. going to sleep on the plane

Endeavour: same thing what I was going to do, I’ve got some sleeping tablets if you want one going to take good ten hours to get there as it is.

Joe: Yeah I’ll get a one of ya when we get there.

 

The flight.

Spoiler

The morning came and everyone was at Endeavour house, They were waiting for the taxi the Joe called and they would be off. A beep outside was heard and everyone grab their bags and walked outside to the van. Endeavour daughter walked back over the house and pick up Endeavour bag and Endeavour said thank you and he locked up the house and walked over to the van and got.

 

Everyone was talking and Endeavour and Joe starting talking.

Endeavour: you sleep at all?

Joe: No. going to sleep on the plane

Endeavour: same thing what I was going to do, I’ve got some sleeping tablets if you want one going to take good ten hours to get there as it is.

Joe: Yeah I’ll get a one of ya when we get there.

 

 

 

 

Endeavour and the rest go to the airport in Luton, Endeavour paid the taxi driver and Joe got a trolley for the bags and everyone put the bags on the trolley and went into the airport to check it. The flight would be another two hours before it would be flying to Chernarus.

 

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Few hours past and the intercom announced that the flight to Chernarus was now ready to bored. Elijah and the rest went to the desk to put the luggage though, and when they went though they were looking at the duty free, Endeavour and Joe were looking at the whiskys and Elijah daughter said come on we need to get on the flight. So they walked over to xrays and got though and they were told to follow one of the airport stewards to the plane. They got on and got to their seats and sat down.

 

Endeavour and Joe took a sleeping tablet and went fast to sleep. The tablets work for about for a while and it was only about half an hour until they landed. When they landed they got their luggage went to the car rental place, and Elijah rented a pickup truck and asked where Cherno was. After everyone was got their bags into the truck and got in Endeavour started driving to Cherno.

The Outbreak

Spoiler

After the wedding Endeavour and Joe were exceptional drunk and they went for drive back to the house. Endeavour was driving and Joe was in the passenger side seat drinking a bottle of Jameson Whisky that he had taken from the bar. As they were driving and deer ran into the rode and Endeavour turned trying not to hit the deer and causing the car the smash into a tree. Endeavour and Joe were knocked. When they woke up few hours later they realised Endeavour arm had serious cuts and Joe had serious cuts from his legs, Both of them had blood coming from their heads and all over their bodys.

 

Joe: You're some fucking cunt you know that you fucking UKIP cunt.

Endeavour: There was a fucking deer you labour cunt, the fuck was I supposed to do.

Joe: Theirs fucking breaks for a reason. The fuck we gonna do now.

Endeavour: Fucking ring someone. Fuck sake.

 

Joe:Everyone is fucking at the wedding pissed drunk.

Endeavour: Bunch of fucking wankers

Joe: Their your fucking family your manky wank.

Endeavour: Good point, still bunch of tossers.

Joe: Well fuck me.

Endeavour: What?

 

Joe:The whisky survived.

Endeavour: Good fucking job, the car is fucked but the whisky is fine. Come on we will walk the rest. You better go down in the morning to get another car I get as they know my face if they ask anything tell them you wanted a car alright.

Joe: Yeah mate.

 

In the morning Endeavour got up and put the kettle on and looked at outside the window towards the road, He notice the military going though and thought nothing of it. Joe was on the sofa.

 

Joe: You put the kettle on?

Endeavour: Yeah, you want tea of coffee?

Joe: Coffee

Endeavour: Had to be difficult don't you.

Joe: Fuck off you crashed the car don't know what you're saying then we had to walk nearly an hour.

Endeavour: Few of those military trucks went passed.

Joe: Yeah that airfield we lanned in there's miltary thing their.

Endeavour: Oh tight Fair enough. You go get the car today.

 

 

Joe: Yeah.

 

 

*Few days passed*

 

Endeavour: We got to get to fuck out of here

Joe: Where? the airports are offline, fucking military everywhere.

Endeavour: Fuck it. Get in the car. EVERYONE GET YOUR SHIT GET IN THE CAR NOW DO IT NOW.

 

 

 

Endeavour was driving and he headed right not heading towards an island.

Endeavour: I bet them cunts are safe there.

Endeavour notice the road was filled up with cars,

 

 

Endeavour: Everyone out, we got to walk from here.

Endeavour and the rest got out of the car and headed up a field.

 

Endeavour and his people have now found a farm which they are staying at now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

18

The Journey

Spoiler

Here will go what happens in game.

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You can contact the group on the radio on 47.7

 

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Spoiler

CHARACTER NAME:

Previous groups/factions:

CHARACTER PAGE:

HOSTILE EXPERIENCE:

CAMP FIRE RP EXPERIENCE:

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN ROLE-PLAYING:

TIME ZONE:

WHAT CAN YOU BRING TO THE GROUP:

DO YOU ACCEPT TO PERMADEATH WHEN NEEDED?:

WHY DO YOU WANT TO JOIN?

Copy and paste this into a chat labelled group recruitment to Western

 
 

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Upcoming media thread.

 

Shout-outs

@Chief

@Stiflex

@Mercy

@jamieV_

@Marcoooz

Thank you for helping me out with the group

 

I have sent the google doc to quite a few people to see of their interested do not comment oh yes you sent me this if you can give me any ideas or where to change please also let me know my pm if you're interested in joining.

 

 

 

 

Edited by Western

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Static    231

Nice graphics man!  I'd recommend you use your profile song for the group, perfect fit.

Johnny Cash - Hurt

Love the inclusion of younger characters, not too many groups have explored that.  And really dig the perma-death requirement.  I was thinking about imposing that for my own group.  Best of luck!

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   47
Posted (edited)

Really like the emphasis on realism, with longer journey times and having the young 'uns have minimal weapon training. Looking forward to seeing more of the backstory but apart from a few spelling mistakes etc. this is looking dope.

Good shit my man :) 

Edited by Whiskey

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PCJames    153

This groups looks very nice and put together. However would this group be around just two weeks after the infection strikes? I feel it this group would be the product of a group of people adapting to this new world over a period of several weeks. But maybe they already have in the first two weeks. It's ultimately up to you. 

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Idole    177

This group looks well thought out and the graphics looks great well done. Looking forward to the rest of the backstory. I like it looks great.

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Flash    372
Posted (edited)

The Last Days - The Last of Us

Elijah - Ellie

Joe - Joel

The last of us graphics...

I mean I don't meant to be a dick, but jesus man... 

You got quite a lot of "inspiration" from The Last of Us..

I personally would recommend changing up the group name and character names. 

Maybe changing the graphics as well...

It just feels extremely unoriginal as it stands right now. 

Edited by Flash

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   445
1 hour ago, Flash said:

The Last Days - The Last of Us

 

 

Right I see what you mean here, but there is a story behind that name

1 hour ago, Flash said:

Elijah - Ellie

Joe - Joel

 

Elijah is a character I made a while go but never done.

Joe is @jamieV_ character he made and has been playing for about a year now possible more.

 

1 hour ago, Flash said:

I mean I don't meant to be a dick, but jesus man... 

You got quite a lot of "inspiration" from The Last of Us..

I personally would recommend changing up the group name and character names. 

Maybe changing the graphics as well...

3

I'm using the last of us pictures as I personally feel it adds to the group and what we are.

I just used the pictures from it, not really quite a lot.

But anyway, I cheers for the feed back.

4 hours ago, Static said:

Nice graphics man!  I'd recommend you use your profile song for the group, perfect fit.

Johnny Cash - Hurt

Love the inclusion of younger characters, not too many groups have explored that.  And really dig the perma-death requirement.  I was thinking about imposing that for my own group.  Best of luck!

Thank you man!

4 hours ago, Whiskey said:

Really like the emphasis on realism, with longer journey times and having the young 'uns have minimal weapon training. Looking forward to seeing more of the backstory but apart from a few spelling mistakes etc. this is looking dope.

Good shit my man :) 

Thank you! :)

4 hours ago, PCJames said:

This groups looks very nice and put together. However would this group be around just two weeks after the infection strikes? I feel it this group would be the product of a group of people adapting to this new world over a period of several weeks. But maybe they already have in the first two weeks. It's ultimately up to you. 

Thank you! :)

 

3 hours ago, idole said:

This group looks well thought out and the graphics looks great well done. Looking forward to the rest of the backstory. I like it looks great.

Thank you :) 

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Marcunt    218

The graphics are triggering me more than liberal screechers.

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Sin    114

Lots of potential here.  Would love to say more, but I don't want to jinx it.

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   445
1 hour ago, Marcoooz said:

The graphics are triggering me more than liberal screechers.

more to be triggered by now.

19 minutes ago, Sin said:

Lots of potential here.  Would love to say more, but I don't want to jinx it.

Thank you :) 

 

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Hollows    413

I mean, you should probably give the kiddos smaller caliber firearms to protect themselves if they find themselves astray from the group for any reason. I understand a 13 year old carrying an M4 is seemingly unrealistic, people who have background in firearms make it seem less likely.

I was shooting a 9mm at age 4, and by age 8 I was firing and later owned (At around 14) my Grandfather's SKS he brought home from Vietnam, and I could hit targets from 50 meters out relatively decently. I'm no Chris Kyle, but banning a reasonable source of protection to people because of an age instead of competence could pave the way to letting them kiddo's be deaddo's. 

^_^

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   445

@Hollows,

Yeah I know what you mean, like in the future we will but for now we won't because none of kids will know how to use one for the time being, I myself still thinking about my character bavkstory with all that. 

 

I have a meme for you, you might like xD, explaining what you said :)

 

Thank you for your feedback 

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I personally wouldn't really ban the use of military equipment (I'm talking about vests, pants, shirts), since it's the apocalypse after all. And since we're probably starting the new lore a few months in, it should be about time that people would start scavenging for resources elsewhere than the cities.

But that's my take on it. Maybe y'all have some sort of reason for that IG that I'm not aware of.

Anyhow, I love the group! I'll be sticking around this topic for a while and gathering on the news. :D

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   819
Posted (edited)

I ain't gonna lie @Western The graphics are cringe other than that its alright. 

Edited by lukzo2024

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Mexi    1030

For the love of god don't use the last of us graphics..

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Beni    680
Posted (edited)
11 minutes ago, Mexi said:

For the love of god don't use the last of us graphics..

+1

35 minutes ago, lukzo2024 said:

I ain't gonna lie @Western The graphics are cringe other than that its alright. 

+1 

 

On 30/06/2017 at 3:27 PM, Static said:

Nice graphics man!

 

-1

23 hours ago, Marcoooz said:

The graphics are triggering me more than liberal screechers.

+1

 

Graphics are like... Nah. Deeead. I mean, I love The Last Of Us don't get me wrong but nah. The graphics look alright, but the content in the graphics... Nah. You shouldn't of based of it of The Last Of Us, I took one look at this and saw the graphics and clicked off the thread... People won't take it serious with these graphics. At all. 

I did have a read through, it looks alright like, just change the graphics and you'll be aight. 

TLDR: Don't base group graphics of video games. People won't take it seriously. 

Edited by Beni

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Lankin    102

Only thing I'd chamge is 'The Last Of Us' graphics, they are good but not every graphic needs to be 'The Last Of Us'.

 

Is this a the group idea for when the Lore Wipe happens,

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Major    429

Alright the graphics are a bit of a rip off and they are just obnoxious in terms of their size. Don't try to lean on an awesome video game in another universe for a theme or a group name. Seems like you wouldn't have a name. Most people would just do their thing and wouldn't feel the need for a name but maybe you could pull a Lost Souls or have it to where the theme or slogan of the group is the name but isn't spoken IC.

 "The last days is group based on hard-core survival role-play group."

Please explain the difference between someone in a separate group surviving and how this group is "hard-core". Surviving is just staying alive, it doesn't say much and that is generally what is expected.

"I aspect people who wish to join to provide the group and external people with the best roleplay they can provide."   

Sounds good, but that is the expectation of this community and is the norm. No need to mention this, the more you put on the thread the less people are going to read.

"The people who will be role-playing as younger members of groups eg under 17 will not be given a gun."

Why not? From an IC perspective at least. It is an Outbreak and a little explanation and reasoning would be neat, but the idea of not giving younger people a gun could be an interesting rp exchange if you catch somebody concealing one.

Do whatever it takes to survive.

Are you going to do "whatever" or will you still stay within the lines not being a hero or bandit? 

Survive anyway possible.

Redundancy?

Get to know other groups and forces.

Is that not what most groups do? Unless they hide and avoid contact.

Make difficult choices for the group.

Does the leader make this difficult choice? I don't see how this makes sense for a IC goal.

Learn from our mistakes.

How do you quantify this? It has to be attainable, even if it is far-fetched. Just seems like filler along with everything that every other group already does.

No military clothes guns, clothes, etc.

Why not? If you aren't wearing it to avoid attention that is cool, but a bit more explanation on this would be good. Seems you would wear or carry what would allow you to survive the best. 

If you and a group of people start the Outbreak together then that explains why you are a group, but I get a 3 years into the Outbreak kind of vibe. The hardcore survival theme undercuts the entire point of the Lore wipe. You'd still be trying to figure the state of the world and what to do, but from what I have gathered it seems this group is just a pre-baked group for two years down the line or more. The goals are mostly not goals, they are just notions and ways of treating people and things, you have to have something attainable or at least something tangible. There has to be some measure of progress that someone could actually take note of ICly. Sure goals change and shift with focus and course of rp, but it would be better to have no goals than to have intangible phrases and slogans that does not constitute anything concrete. There are far too many "basic bitch survivor groups" out there. If you take away the story and graphics you could essentially cut and paste them. There is nothing particularly unique or innovative here other than the little bit of story you added. The graphics are just distracting and detract from the meat of the thread.

Be simple, don't just shit out a ton of phrases that are not goals. Refer to this thread. I know how he got here and what they want to do. The thread is fairly original, generally unused as a concept, and says more by being concise and saying less. 

You pmed some 230 people in this community for this group. If you want the foundation for a good group, start out with a character and let him accrue more and more folks that he meets. Having a massive group of wandering survivors just feels circlejerky and less authentic. Come up with a basic story for a handful of folks, explain why they are in Chernarus, what they want to do, and then let rp and hostilities take it from there. This just feels a bit forced and rigged. Explain why things within the group are the way they are. You don't need a Lore to set something up now that will take off and be great in the Outbreak. Be original and flush the graphics, make interesting characters, and go from there. 

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HarveyJ    47

@Western I spoke about this with you earlier, but I personally feel that there needs to be a goal and similar mindset that the group can adopt, aside from just trying to survive, mainly to make the RP interesting, E.g. A cult following/particular set of goals/morals, something that stands out you know?

I think the overall theme sides with the last of us more than it needs to, as said above it takes away any originality. 

 

I'd be happy to help with developing your idea and give my penny's worth if you so desire. :D

On 01/07/2017 at 8:23 PM, Hollows said:

I was shooting a 9mm at age 4

Murica'

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Phoenix    1048
Posted (edited)

Hi. Here's some feedback.
I Like the graphics, but some of them are just way too big. I'd suggest shrinking them in size a little bit.
You are also obviously struggling a lot with grammar as seen here

Quote

The last days is group based on hard-core survival role-play group.
I aspect people who wish to join to provide the group and external people with the best roleplay they can provide.   
When we arrive at a town or meet people and towns with extream caution. 
We are not bandits, heroes. We are a group of people trying to get by day by day.

I'd suggest for you to get someone to rewrite everything you have into proper grammatically correct English :) 

It's also kind of generic, as @Major pointed out. There are a lot of things that need explaining, a lot of work that needs to be done.

Edited by Phoenix

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Major    429

Western I love beans just as much as the next person. But do you have any thought on the feedback I left?

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   445
Posted (edited)
6 minutes ago, Major said:

Western I love beans just as much as the next person. But do you have any thought on the feedback I left?

Yeah, I doing things right now,  Here is what im doing.

 

  1. Writing new goals. and adding to them
  2. I have people writing about their characters.
  3. How each character is related or how we met before the outbreak etc.
  4. Hope is editing everything I write. When she as time.
  5. Looking at what I can add to the group and take out.
  6. Add more roles etc.
  7. New Graphics in the making

 

Is there anything else I need to do? 

Edited by Western

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Major    429
1 minute ago, Western said:

Yeah, I doing things right now,  Here is what im doing.

 

  1. Writing new goals. and adding to them
  2. I have people writing about their characters.
  3. How each character is related or how we met before the outbreak etc.
  4. Hope is editing everything I write. When she as time.
  5. Looking at what I can add to the group and take out.
  6. Add more roles etc.

 

Is there anything else I need to do? 

Definitely looks much better, I'd just chuck the old Last of Us graphics for new ones along the lines of what you have started. They look nice and fresh. Just sort your IC/OOC goals mess out then I'll rip you a new one after that. :)

Break you down, build you back up.

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   445
Just now, Major said:

Definitely looks much better, I'd just chuck the old Last of Us graphics for new ones along the lines of what you have started. They look nice and fresh. Just sort your IC/OOC goals mess out then I'll rip you a new one after that. :)

Break you down, build you back up.

I thought there sick tbh.xD 

 

Should have things done by Monday

all the graphics will be changing that is up now

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