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RogueSolace

Lost and Alone: Tales of Elizabeth Smith

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2 years ago...

 

I was drinking water… in the building we used as a mess hall. I was angry. It was evening the next day and I was still angry with my father for the day before. We’d been with this settlement for some time, and yeah the people argued a lot, but, it was all we had. There had been one really big argument, some lazy idiots who thought we were going to starve because they didn’t want to put time into growing crops like others were doing. It was so stupid really. But them someone ended up in a small fist fight. Thankfully it had been sorted out quickly enough. But since then my dad had been on edge, too much really.

He’d been nonstop complaining about the hostilities going on. I kept telling him it was nothing like the other places we’d been while fleeing from the virus. This place had stability, walls, guards that knew what they were doing and well organized. We had our own wells, and growing food, supplies. Most importantly a decent medical center.

I was determined we could wait out whatever was going on around us here. He didn’t agree, but I was too afraid of the outside world to listen. I couldn’t cope with what had happened, and it was so much easier to accept the concept that here would be safe.

 

I was so stupid.


He’d been so anxious lately, the past few days especially. I’d was worried he'd relapsed, but thankfully he hadn't. I just wanted him to be able to relax, to see him smile. Not worry about these stupid little scraps.

Although it was still so strange, it took the end of the world, and my mothers death: for him to stop being the drugged, raging man I spent most of my life trying to avoid. Or protect my mom from. Get his anger in check, get clean, and start being the dad I never knew. I still didn't know half the time if I wanted to slap him or not. 

But he’d come last night, had both of our go bags and grabbed me by the shoulders, looking me in the face. “Beth, we HAVE to go. NOW.” I protested and he continued arguing that it wasn’t safe, something was wrong, we were being watched, night and day, people outside, and inside.

That made no sense; we had guards, people on watch at all hours. “Daddy, when was the last time you slept?”

“That doesn’t matter!”

“Yes it does, are you hallucinating again? Remember you thought back in Boston that all these people were trying to kill us and it was you were in severe sleep deprivation and dehydration? You got some rest and a bunch of IVs all those things you saw went away.” 

“I’m not hallucinating!”

“Daddy….”

“Beth we cannot argue about this right now.”

He about pulled me out of the building and outside, I struggled back.

“Dad, we’re not leaving!”

“Yes, we are.”

I yanked back firmly, he was still a lot stronger than me, but I wasn’t a little child anymore he could just scoop up.

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“Elizabeth!” He begged me. Looking at him I felt so upset. He looked so paranoid, his eyes darting everywhere. His eyes were large and pleading with me. Had he relapsed? Was he withdrawing? 

“Dad I know they had that fight a few days ago, but it’s calming over.”

“Beth it’s not. We’re being watched…. Beth people watch places like this…to exploit their resources…always. As soon as they find a tiny crack, they work it until they have a way in, and then take it by force.”

“Dadd-“

“Beth. Listen to me. We’re not safe. We need to go now.” He tried to tug me again and I refused. He wasn’t rational, he needed to calm down. If I put my foot down, he’d have to stay and I could watch him overnight, help him calm down.

 

“I’m, not, leaving.” I gave him a firm look. His expression was desperate. He wrapped an arm around me and nearly managed to lift me, dragging me more. I threw all of my weight down and after a bit managed to get my footing again.

“Beth, please!” I thought he was going to cry.

“Daddy, look at me.” He did. “Dad, we’re safe.”

“There is no safe.”

“Yes there is… we’re safe here. Dad I’m not leaving, and you’re not either, that’s final.” He looked at me with such fear in his expression.

“If….if I find…if I find somewhere better…..somewhere better than here…. will….will you come with me?”

“Daddy,” I protested, but his expression was so serious. I sighed. “Okay…if you find somewhere better, I’ll go with you. But I don’t want you out there, it’s dangerous.”


He embraced me tightly, nodding. “I’ll….I’ll be back…tomorrow…. don’t you go anywhere. I’ll have a place and we’ll go.”

I sighed, but realized he wasn’t giving this up. “I don’t want you out in this. Not in your condition.”

“Well I don’t want you here, so I’m finding somewhere else.”

I frowned and looked at him, hugging him tightly. “Daddy please, just come get some rest and we’ll talk about it in the morning.”

“No time.” He hugged me tightly and looked me in the eyes again. “No option. I have to get you out of here, I’m going to. I’ll be back tomorrow, and we’re leaving. Promise me. I know a place, just have to check it.”

I sighed and looked at him. Maybe if I followed him wherever he wanted to go, he’d calm down until this paranoia passed and we could come back.

“Okay…okay. I promise, tomorrow.” He looked so relieved, and nodded, leaning in and kissing my head, handing me my bag. “I’ll be back." He turned and rushed away into the night.

“I’ll be here…”


---

I’d gone into the medical ward and noticed someone standing there. A younger man, well… he was older than me, maybe mid-twenties. I knew that much, he was very mature, very handsome too.

Quite a few ladies had been trying to follow him around like a flock of geese the past few weeks he’d been with us, but he seemed to find no interest in them. He had picked up work as a guard.

Jim... that was it. His name was Jim.


I walked in and he gave me a soft smile. I noticed he had a bloody towel held tightly to his arm, I felt more horror suddenly as I realized most of his shirt was soaked in blood.

“Oh my god Jim, what happened?”

“Just another scuffle,” He responded calmly, shrugging at me as it were nothing. “Another couple of hotheads getting into it, only one had a knife when I tried to separate them. I ended it fast enough. Arm just bleeding a lot.”

My eyes widened and I looked around frantically, then back at him. “No one has seen you? How long have you been here?”

“Bout half an hour.” He shrugged again. “Seems they’re dealing with more important things.”

I sighed in frustration and grabbed a lab coat, throwing it on. “Come on. Knife wounds are not unimportant.”

Digging through the emergency medical cards, I pulled his. Good, no medical allergies, listed bloodtype. I put the card back.

He chuckled and smiled at me with a fond expression as I was searching. I felt myself blush and hoped it wasn’t showing in the darkened room. He then followed me until I found an open room, having him sit. I washed my hands and grabbed gloves and a face mask, putting them on, along with eye protection.

Walking back over I carefully pulled the towel back from his arm, revealing a nasty gash that was still bleeding. I quickly grabbed a package of WoundSeal and put it over the area. “Sorry but this is gonna hurt.”

He clenched his teeth tightly as the chemicals worked to stop the bleeding. Tensing up and taking deep breaths, groaning a bit.

“I’m sorry.”

He chuckled a bit and looked at me. “For what? This is a cruel world Beth, you don’t survive if you’re not hard too.”

I checked his blood and gave him a blood bag. Then worked on cleaning his arm and mending it, it needed some stitches. I gave him painkiller and did them. He watched me quietly the whole
time, not protesting once. He seemed to like watching me work.

“You alright?”

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“Huh?” I looked up suddenly, startled out of my concentration. He smiled at me again; I felt my face flush red in response. He chuckled.

“You just seem so…on edge. Something happen to upset you?”

“Oh…. Just…just a…. had an argument is all. Nothing to worry about.”

“What kind of argument? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Just uh… my dad’s just worried, about these stupid arguments. He…he seems to think we’re being watched.”

The man raised an eyebrow.

“He thinks were going to get attacked or something.”

“Well that’s what you have people like me around for.”

“I know… I tried to remind him of that.”

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“Well..” he smiled again, “He’s just doing what he can to take care of his little girl, can’t fault him for that. If I had a daughter anywhere near as intelligent and beautiful as you, I’d be worried too about all the evil men in the world trying to snatch her up, just waiting for the right moment.”

I felt my face flush again, glancing up he had an amused expression, he seemed to enjoy making me blush.

“Well lucky me they won’t get that chance.” I brushed the side of my coat over just enough for him to see the glock settled there.

He smiled in approval and nodded. “See, smart girl. Some days I feel like you’re the only one I don’t have to worry about at this crazy place.”

I smiled a bit and cleaned his arm, wrapping it up in medicated gauze. Using his other hand he reached into a small backpack he carried around and set a coke can in front of me. “Heard you like these, maybe cheer you up a bit.”

I smiled again, glancing up. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He smiled in response. Standing up he sighed, stretching. “Well, a pleasure as always Beth. Back to work for me.”

"You can't work with your arm like that!"

"I can and I will." He gave me a look saying that was the end of the argument.

I made a face and huffed at him, going to a closet and grabbing a brace, making sure to take one with lots of buckles. Hopefully he'd get annoyed trying to take it off, and leave the damn thing on.

I gave him just as stubborn a look and took his arm again. He let me move it towards me and put the brace on. Shit, was he solid muscle or something? He ended up chuckling, an amused expression on his face. 

Hair fell into my face as I worked. I jumped and shouted as a hand started to brush it away. 

He quickly pulled his hand back, looking startled, then concerned. 

"I didn't mean to scare you, just trying to help."

I blinked at him, my heart racing as my body had kicked into a reaction it did not need.

"Beth?"

"S...sorry.... I... just....uh..   I ....startle easily." I quickly went back to the brace, looking down to hide my face.

"I'm sorry I scared you." He watched me with a concerned expression.

"I'm fine... it's.....it's okay."

"Beth.... are you .... not used to guys... being nice to you?"

I glanced up and tried to fake a smile. "Of course I am!"

"Mmm hmmm..." he totally wasnt buying it.

I finished tying the brace and let go, almost hopping back.

“So keep it immobile or your going to make it a lot worse. Also Don't get shot or something.” I looked at the floor again, trying to dismiss him.


“Don’t worry about that… they never get a chance.” I looked up frowning slightly. But he’d already left the room.

 

 

Edited by RogueSolace
cause pictures are fun

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Good read!

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Adding this as I agree with someone mentioning it to be a good idea for this particular chapter.

I will be putting a trigger warning here: Rape, violence, death.

And no, I don’t mean ‘trigger warning’ as in ‘omg someone is upset and offended, call the waaaaaambulance!’

I mean it as in: what I’m writing could make certain people, very not okay, and I don’t want that. Being a sufferer of PTSD (which is not always military combat related by any means, for me caretaking and verbal abuse) I’m well aware of what this is, and it’s not a joke.

“For people with PTSD, it is very common for their memories to be triggered by sights, sounds, smells or even feelings that they experience. These triggers can bring back memories of the trauma and cause intense emotional and physical reactions, such as raised heart rate, sweating and muscle tension.

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Beth sighed and looked around again for her father… Not here yet. In his defense the sun was just setting. She couldn’t help but fidget as she drank a large glass of water and finished her dinner; grilled chicken, greens and vinegar, half a potato. It felt like a normal day, only, something didn’t feel right, and she couldn’t place what.

She watched some of the teenagers run around, some about her age. They had entertained themselves and most of the camp earlier by realizing several of them knew how to sing and spent a few hours figuring out an A cappella version of multiple songs. She hadn’t sang in a good while, it had been a lot of fun. It made her sad she had to leave, even if for a bit.

She hated the world outside, it had uprooted everyone. Her father and mother were quick witted, but her mother still died early on. So many orphans. It was sad seeing anyone who had lost someone, especially the adults who sobbed as their children had died getting them to safety. So many awful stories. So much loss, so much death and pain.

They’d lived in Miami, and been all over. Sickness, decay, it didn’t stop. The pandemic spread across the world, people fleeing, trying to escape it. People would lock themselves away, thinking they were safe. They were wrong. It reminded her of Edgar Allen Poe’s Masque of the Red Death. She wasn’t even sure how they had gotten here. When she tried to think about it, everything was a blur. Perhaps her mind was simply trying to repress it.

Her father had taught her a lot of things on their journeys. Foraging, shooting. They’d been practicing a lot of long distance running. She was learning a lot about history, because people managed to get by just fine in times without electricity, so many including themselves were dependent on it, they had no idea what to do without it. Many thought they could never be comfortable again, but she knew better. It wouldn’t be easy, but it was possible.

Nowhere is safe.

The words rang through her head again. He’s wrong…..was he? No…he’s not wrong….I just don’t want to believe it. There still had to be good out there, like the people here. They worked together to survive, and the security did the same. Taking precautions when allowing people to join and fending off bandits on a daily basis. It had gotten rather routine, which seemed pathetic in a way.  She didn’t understand so much why people felt they had to take and take from others. Perhaps for them it was easier. It just made them seem incompetent in her eyes.

Throwing her backpack on again she took her dishes and cleared them, going by the sink to wash them and lay them out to dry. She walked outside into the fading daylight, walking around the camp. Sentries roamed the makeshift walls while children ran about.

She stopped, realizing what was off. No one was attacking…. No one had attacked all day, she remembered. She’d been confused at not hearing a single gunshot all day. Usually there were several attempts to breach the compound. A few parties had tried to run in and run out, trying to lure guards away, but they were not stupid. Maybe they were finally giving up?

As much as she hoped that was true, her gut was telling her otherwise. Frowning she walked back to the medbay storage, noticing that the building was rather vacant for the time of day. She went over her gobag again. Anything of value to her, anything from her life she’d managed to keep, along with everything she could possibly have in an emergency. She’d been gathering mostly medical supplies but she had a lot of things, all of them helpful. Digging through a few cabinets, she noticed some medications that were sparse. Taking some pill bags she put some into them, labeled them by name, dosage, expiration date. She didn’t take much, just a little, you never knew what could be needed. She tucked it into her bag. Noticing several copies of the same book she pulled one down and looked at it. It was about IUDs. She put that in her bag too, along with a few various types, all in sterile packages. She knew they wouldn’t mind, she never misused anything they gave her, and knew she did not waste supplies. She’d managed to even get a good trade route working between a few hospitals in the area.

Walking into the main part of the building she noted there was shouting outside. She couldn’t make it out, but it could be anything. Noise was common, as was shouting. She stopped and frowned, the sun was going down, that meant blackout. The time they went silent, no lights near windows or anywhere outside, no noise, as little movement as possible. People shouldn’t be screaming. She moved to a door and cracked it a tiny bit, just enough to break the seal and allow her to hear.

Screaming, panicked voices. Lots of voices were shouting orders. But they were to put hands up and get down. She took a deep breath, trying to not panic and closed the door, locking it. She dropped low and covered her head as the sound of gunfire erupted. Shaking she crawled as fast as she could, looking for something secure.

Finding an area with large concrete steps she hid behind a set of them. Moving quickly she ensured that her jacket was buttoned up. The damn thing was annoying at times, but it was lined on the inside with Kevlar, she’d been able to make it more fitted to look like a nice jacket, but it offered protection. Her father had one as well, she’d refused to wear hers until he did.

Shifting her backpack she carefully untied a large object and setting it in front of her, then pulled multiple pieces from pockets, slinging the bag back on. Automatic gunfire was going outside. Short bursts. Along with regular shots. She should have listened and gotten out with her father.

A minute and a half later she had a fully assembled AK in her hands. She didn’t know what kind and really didn’t care, other than it worked. She liked it too. She just didn’t like the sight on it, she wanted one that would allow her to see long range. She remembered momentarily, as she lifted the heavy device, her father seeing her with one the first time. He’s burst out laughing. Apparently the sight of a young girl with a gun as big as she is, was highly entertaining.

She was stronger than she looked though. She nearly reached for hearing protection, but realized with dread that what she did not hear could kill her. At the same time, she wasn’t going to be able to hear at all anyways if this kept up. Possibly damaging her hearing anyways. She’d have to deal with it. Double checking the extra magazines she checked everything again.

Time to go. The adrenaline was pumping through her body, she kept low and ran. She had a chance, no one knew she was there. She could possibly move around and out of the way. Doubtful if surrounded, but worth a shot.

Running into a room she glanced around and saw a window leading to ground level. She looked around it the best she could, not seeing anyone outside. She carefully lifted the window, all the chaotic sounds returning. Not nearby though, she pulled herself through the window. If this place was taken, she couldn’t hide inside, she would be found. Possibly able to hold out, but not for long.

She started to army crawl on the ground, listening, trying to make sense of the noise. That was pretty pointless, her ears were ringing and she was cringing at the shots. She smelled smoke and gunpowder. Glancing around a corner she kept low and ran behind an area that had army mesh hanging from it. Dropping to the ground she was able to see out, but difficult for others to see in.

Gunfire stopped, her ears still ringing, she heard more shouting.

“Get your fucking hands up! If you want to fucking live, you motherfuckers better start listening!”

A few gunshots and screams followed. She couldn’t place the accent, not American was all she knew.

“Now, you fuckers listen up! We can do this the nice way, or we can make this very, very, very painful for you. You want to do this the easy way? Slowly, slowly drop all of your things and come sit in front of me in a line with your hands in the air. We see you make any move that looks like you’re going to pull a weapon instead of drop it, you die.”

She froze hearing footsteps…two men walked into view with automatic rifles, one holding a pistol. They looked around but did not appear to see her. One of them yelled loudly, “Anyone who can hear my voice, you have one chance to come to me with your hands up and surrender, or you die. One chance, you better take it.”

Her mind raced….they didn’t see her… but if they found her….they’d kill her…well…she was a girl…they would probably do a lot worse than kill her. Maybe they would miss her entirely and she could run…but if not…a bullet to the head may be better…

Her focus snapped forward as she heard a child wailing. Looking up she saw what looked like maybe a three year old, walking in a diaper, in tears and screaming. The toddler wandered up to the two men, screaming and crying in terror. She frowned, not sure what had happened to the poor thing. The two men looked at each other and said something in low voices she couldn’t make out. The one on the right shrugged. The one on the left, in a fluid movement, pulled a pistol from his belt and put it to the child’s temple. She managed to close her eyes before it happened, but the gunshot echoed, masking her scream of terror.

She pinned herself to the ground, her heart racing, trying to not sob. She put her hand into her mouth and bit down on it, trying to keep back the terrified cries that were trying to break loose. More screams, more gunshots.

They didn’t hesitate, they just shot...how could they do that. She was rocking herself, biting her hand.

She could hear shouting again from where she had come.

“Now look, we have special treatment. We know you have young, old, crippled, all of them should come up here. We know you’re gonna need special care, and we want to provide that.”

Oh my god…make it stop….please make it stop….

While the man’s voice was oddly soothing, she knew there was a lie.

The men walked on and she bolted as soon as they were out of sight. Running around a corner she nearly screamed as she ran into someone. Another woman looked at her, her face full of fear. She grabbed both of them and shoved them against a wall before they were spotted. Looking around she pointed to some crates, “Go, hide there until you see an opening, then run, run and don’t stop. Zigzag.” The woman nodded and quickly shuffled over.

She ran more, eventually spotting a small group hidden in the sloping ground under a bunker. She rushed to them, ready to help, only to have a gun in her face. The handsome man from earlier quickly put it down and scowled at her, “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Probably the same as you!”  She hissed back at him. The group of people looked unsure but she saw a few familiar faces who expressed relief in seeing her.

“Glad you showed up then… There’s a wall half a mile over that has a hole open. If we can get there, it’s a clear shot out. Make sure you all keep distance like I told you.”

She nodded and ran to hide behind some crates further ahead. They took turns moving forward and the group following, them both lending cover via the use of automatic guns. After what felt like a lifetime, they finally neared the small area of wall he had been talking about.

She focused fire in a few spots, waiting for an opportunity. Automatic fire rang out behind her.

“Clear!” she could just make out Jim's voice when the shots paused. Looking around she yelled the same. “GO!” Turning he was holding cover as the group ran, making sure to keep space between them as instructed.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and a tug, turning Jim started to pull her in the direction the others were, indicating to run. 

She ran and was halfway across the compound when a strong arm suddenly grabbed her waist and lifted her as easily if she were a feather, before she could cry out she found herself sideways and heard a few subsonic rounds pass where her head had been not even a second before, just missing her by inches. Falling into the ground, the same arm wrapped around her. Yanking her off of her back and pressing her against his body, the man fired several shots, then pulled her to her feet again, running.

They cleared the checkpoint and jumped behind the concrete wall as gunfire rang into it. Looking forward she saw one of the last people that they had been escorting clear the wall. They must have had an opening and took it, she prayed they got away.

Looking to her left Jim was reloading. He smirked at her, “saved you.”

“Thanks. But how are you so damn calm right now?!”

“I told you…it’s a hard world. You learn to stop caring what happens to other people.”

“Stop caring? You just saved me, why would you do that if you don’t care?”

The smirk didn’t fade as he looked her up and down quickly. “Maybe I got fond of having you around and enjoy your company?”

She wasn’t sure how to respond to that and didn’t get a chance. She caught movement and used her left hand to shove him back into the concrete, raising her AK and grabbing it again with both hands. Five figures ran into view, not people she recognized, and with guns aimed at them. She pulled the trigger and yanked to the right, all five figures dropped to the ground. The man poked his head back around to see what had happened.

“Saved you.” She responded almost angrily. This wasn’t a game, people were dying, she’d just had to kill.

“See…. Things like that are why I like you.”

“Oh, shut up.”

They both looked around the area again, they had a small break.

“I’ll jump the wall, back you up.” He started running before she had a chance to respond and cleared the wall quickly to the other side. After a moment he appeared again, aiming in her direction, he signaled for her to move and she ran. Shots were ringing around but she couldn’t place any of them, it didn’t matter, she just ran. She hopped up on the crate and jumped over.

Only to feel a strong hand grab her firmly by the front of her jacket, right by her throat. She felt herself being pulled forward along with her own momentum, then she felt a hard thrust back, sky, and suddenly slamming into the ground. Her backpack ensured she didn’t land flat, and it hurt like hell, as well as knocked the wind right out of her. She could only lay there in shock, trying to get her lungs to work, her head spinning, seeing blinking lights and her chest moving in a muscle spasm to try to get air. Everything hurt, especially her chest, why couldn’t she breathe? Is this it, she wondered. Is this how I die? Air rushed into her lungs, causing her to choke. She coughed and coughed, gulping in the cold night air. She started crying as her body claimed the precious oxygen, combining with the pain.

Looking up, Jim was looking down with an expression she couldn’t decipher.  He looked amused, smirking slightly. She wanted to scream at him, but breath wouldn’t come.

What are you doing? Stop standing there! We have to go, now!

He leaned down and grabbed her hips, pulling her down the hill a few feet, again as easily as if she weighed nothing. He was shouldering his gun, the surrounding firefight forgotten.

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“we have…go…” she just managed to get her voice to work. He raised an eyebrow and leaned down, tilting his head, looking as if nothing in the world were wrong, “Hmm?”

“We…have….go…..please….” He watched her lips and shook his head no. “Please….” tears were trying to blind her. He pouted slightly and shook his head no again.

A fear rushed over her along with adrenaline, she tried to yank up and move, only to be grabbed, pushed back down and flipped. A knee landed square in her back, knocking the air out of her lungs, the weight behind it keeping her from breathing in. She had never felt this kind of pain. Everything burned; the pressure lifted enough to allow her to breathe, just not to move. She gasped for air again, the gunfire quieting around them.

She struggled and only managed to flail slightly, the man’s movement stopped and the pressure lifted from her back, allowing her to breathe freely again.

She could only think of one thing he could be doing, and she wanted to scream and scream. Please no….stupid, so stupid!

 The weight over her shifted and she felt her arms pulled to her sides, then a body straddling hers, using his legs to pin her arms to her sides. He grabbed one arm, twisting it slightly and started feeling around the band.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk…. Now, now…. Calm down Beth.” His voice sounded both gentle and oddly emotionless. He felt the handcuff key in the lining in her wrist, and flipped the jacket down a bit, removing it. Putting her arm against her side again he switched and found the other, taking it as well.

“Why…” She tried to glance up at him. He held her firmly in place with his own body, and leaned over so he was eye level to her. Sighing in amusement he locked his eyes to her and gently ran a finger along her cheek, she felt hot tears colliding with his skin.

“Well dear….I did warn you… the world is a horrible place. ” She couldn’t move, tears flowed freely and she struggled to not hyperventilate. He leaned in so that his lips were just brushing against her ear. “It’s a bad place with bad people…. And lots of good people have horrible things happen to them. But it’s just a fact of life, the strongest come off on top.” He chuckled a bit, she felt his hips move hers in an playful figure eight, “Didn’t mean to make a pun there, but it works.” She felt him smack her ass once, making her jump and break down crying in fear again. Something dropped in front of her and she felt cloth being shoved into her mouth, some kind of fabric that had been knotted to make a gag. It was tied firmly to the back of her head. She felt her backpack pulled off and put to the side.

Fingers quickly checked her boots, ran up along her legs, her hips. Fingers went down the front of her pants and quickly circled her waist to the other side, then went up her sides, back, neck. Anything hidden was immediately found and taken, including her gun and knives. She shrieked into the gag and jerked as a hand went between her legs, quickly moving up, then both along her breasts. Weight shifted and she found herself on her back, being straddled again.

Arms rested on either side of her head and he was face to face with her. His eyes held coldness, but still some kind of caring as he watched her.

“Beth…..Be-th….” He called her name in a songlike way. She couldn’t see or breathe, her body panicking. A sudden slap to her cheek had her attention. Oddly, it wasn’t that hard, just enough to sting and bring her mind to focus.

“Beth… you need to calm down.” His voice was patient, like he was explaining something to a child. Fingers brushed her face, wiping her tears away. “You hear me now?” She nodded.

Good…. Beth you have got to calm down, no one is hurting you. No one’s raping you. I’m checking you for weapons and little hidden things that could give you an advantage that’s all. I know all the spots, especially ones in which women like to use certain assets to their advantage in hiding things. You learn these things as a professional. Now, you can either force yourself to calm down, or I’m going to give you something to calm down. Got it?”

She nodded, trying to force back the sobs. “Good girl.”

“I bet you’re wondering why all these people are here hm? How they got in?”

She watched him, her expression wary.

“Well…they’re here because I told them to be… I’m kinda…their boss.” His hand shifted as did his gaze, a glock pointed upward and she heard footsteps walking into view. Tilting her head she could see several men, covered head to toe. Bandits.

“Recker.”

He tilted his head at them and looked at them as though they were idiots about to say something stupid.

“I’m kind of busy at the moment.” He glanced down and ran a finger along the side of her face.

They turned their heads to look down at her and erupted into laughter. “Oooh… if I found one like that I’d be ‘busy’ too…big wide eyes … Why aint you pounding her cunt yet?”

She looked up at him, her eyes pleading. He ran his fingers gently along the side of her face again.

“Taking my time… enjoying her first...I know how to treat women… I’m not a ravaging moron who thinks with his cock like you.” Laugher erupted from the group again.

“Can I have her after you’re done? Take your time of course. Bet the others would like ta pass her around a few times too.’

She jumped as the gun went off, just missing the speaking man’s head. He froze and looked at their ‘boss’. They others all erupted into laughter.

“Think that means ‘NO’ mate!” Someone clapped him on the shoulder and they burst out into more laughter.

He rolled his eyes slightly at their laughter and his voice hinted at agitation.

“What apparently can’t wait for me?”

The man who had made the comment straightened up and looked at him. “We got prisoners obviously. Big group of strong guys, good muscle; not being very cooperative though, rooted out the ones not interested in our line of work.”

He blinked at them, waiting.

“So… while they’re all stupid cunts, I think some of em would be good for hard labor, but wanted your opinion before we made any decisions.”

He rolled his eyes at them again. “Are they giving you trouble?”

“Yeah.”

“Do we have time to break them, considering we’re on a job?”

“Uh… not really.”

His voice responded in a tone saying it was the obvious answer, “Then execute them.”

“NO!” She tried to scream but the gag muffled it. He glanced back down at her as the men walked away.

“Also, you find this one wandering around anywhere, you bring her right back to me, unmolested. Anyone touches or threatens her they’ll regret ever existing. She does anything needing punishment, I’ll talk to her and decide what to do.”

You claiming a lady boss? Like, keeping her? You aint never done that before. But sure…Oh, we got all the weaklings rounded up…we know what to do with them.” The man grinned at her and waved. “Ta love, be seeing you around.” He grinned darkly and blew a kiss at her before turning and walking away.

She looked back and forth in a panic, trying to scream at him. How can you do this? Her screams managed to be muffled by the gag, but tears still fell from her eyes. He watched the desperation in her eyes with the same strangely calm expression.

“This is what the world is now Beth. You’re either tough and get on top, do what you can to stay there. Or you roll over and be submissive, or be stupid and die. I don’t have time to deal with breaking men right now for use, so they’re dying. Simple. You should be happy for them, they’re getting a quick death.”

She shook her head no, but he ignored her, grabbing her backpack he pulled it open and dug around, quickly finding and pulling out the small black bag that couldn’t be cut with a knife. Digging around until he found the keys, he unlocked it and spoke calmly to her.

“You see…bags like this…to some people are just a bag…but to me, they’re a goldmine of information, especially when you want to know about a person. They keep all their things safe inside it, or what they perceive could be important… like a passport….”

He pulled hers out and glanced down. “I was wondering if Beth is short for Bethany or Elizabeth.” He opened and flipped through the book. “Hm…Elizabeth Smith. Pretty name, common name, but pretty. Strong name too, after the queen I suppose.” Reading the information he frowned. Glancing down at her he dug through the bag, pulling out and looking at other documents. Sighing and shrugging he folded them back up and returned them all to the bag. Several loud bursts of automatic gunfire a distance away made her jump and shriek into the gag again.

You’re 16?” He looked down at her in disbelief, ignoring the gunfire. She nodded slowly. He sighed again.

“Well... bit of an age difference… could be worse though… you could be 12 and I could be some 80 year old pervert.”

She stared up at him, everything that had been said racing through her head, trying to process it. Yet it made no sense, she was in shock.

 

“Elizabeth… I like Elizabeth better… Beth is cute and all but Elizabeth holds a lot more power.”

She watched him silently, tears still occasionally falling from her eyes. “You must think I’m some horrible fucking monster, hm? What kind of sick fuck helps people escape only to turn it into a trap? Killing all of these ‘innocent’ and sick people without hesitation. Well, they’ll only slow us down, and less mouths to feed, find clothes and all that. Just a waste of time and resources.”

She could only stare into his eyes. A hint of a gentle smile appeared as she did so.

“We’ll you’re not wrong. To some people I’m the lowest scum imaginable. To others I’m something to be more afraid of than this plague that’s destroyed everything. My name alone can put people in their places without me having to lift a finger. That’s what reputation does. That’s where I thrive.”

“See dear, I can still give you a choice, but I know what you’ll pick. It’s… funny….I honestly thought you were some stupid kid the first time I laid eyes on you. Then I realized you weren’t a kid; too mature, too compassionate, so easy to manipulate. But then you surprised me. You’re smarter than most adults, and very, very clever. You were manipulating the people trying to manipulate you. That…was impressive. Then I got to see you fight. You only look cute and innocent, you’re hard as steel under that exterior, and a temper to go with it. Normally I’d just find that amusing and let my boys break you…see how long it took. But… I don’t know… you know when we got those funny, stupid emotions, that make us all warm and feel things? I get that when I look at you Elizabeth… I don’t know what the fuck about is you so different than any other stubborn bitch I’ve met and broken…maybe your naivety…something cute about the way you look so confused.”

Footfalls approached again from the other side, he glanced up then back down with an unconcerned expression. Another man covered head to toe looked down at her. His clothing was splattered in fresh blood.

“Not sure really… I guess that happens though... I know you like me Elizabeth…or well, you did before you learned all this about me. Tsk tsk. Too late. We’ll….. for whatever reason I really like you. I’m fully intending to keep you. I’m not a good man, I’ll admit that. I’m a horrible man. But I’m not like the idiots out there. I can be reasoned with, I’ll listen when someone speaks, actually consider their words.”

“I won’t be horrible to you, quite the opposite in fact. I can be very attentive, even nurturing at times. I won’t beat you, won’t let others beat you or torture you, won’t cheat on you, won’t rape you, though I am willing to give it some time… I do expect you to fulfil certain… wifely…duties. I won’t ignore you, maybe even pleasure you more than you think… I’ll keep you, won’t throw you away or abandon you. All I want, is that same respect back… is that unreasonable to ask for Elizabeth? Is that too complicated?”

She shook her head no, slowly. The man behind them pulled a scarf off of his face, keeping his eyes covered with goggles and a hat. He grinned widely as he stared down at her, listening. That grin scared her to the core.

“I didn’t think it would be…but I can be a decent guy. I’ll give you a choice. You can stay with me…and be a good little wife, and I’ll be good to you. Or, I can let you try to run off, only to be grabbed by my men, and pretty much used when they want, how they want, as much as they want, for as long as they want to keep you. There are a lot of them too, they’ll keep you very, very busy if you’re concerned about being bored.”

She felt more tears as she heard the grinning man chuckle. How is that a choice?

He watched her for a few seconds, studying her face.

“Not sure she likes those options boss, doesn’t seem to sure does she.”

He continued looking into her eyes.

“Probably not…but a lot better than what most people would give her.”

“Most people would be filling every hole she’s got right now, enjoying every scream and seeing who could rack up the best ones… that sounds fun… I need to go cut people and hear some screaming. Too damn quiet at the moment.”

“I dunno… may need you in a moment.”

“Oh I guess that is my specialty isn’t it…. I know what will help her decide. You should let her have some firsthand experience with the boys, get a feel for it. Set a timer or something; let her watch it slowly count down. She don’t have the strength to respond give her another round, she’ll get stronger… or its gonna be a long night.”

“Hm… might be a good idea.”

She looked back and forth in terror, looking at the man inches from her face; she shook her head no repeatedly.

“I don’t know…maybe it will be good for you…help you realize this offer in a better light.”

She locked her eyes to his and shook her head no, her body shaking with sobs.

“Made your choice?”

She nodded, then leaned up and gently pressed her forehead to his, trying to control the hysterical sobbing that was threatening to consume her. He chuckled and smiled.

“Somehow I knew you liked me more.”

The other man stretched and pulled out a knife. Glancing down he grinned again.

“Alright, alright… Uh who gives a fuck cause no one’s here cept me and corpses… of course you want him, you wouldn’t be laying under him if not. You promise to do all the shit you said?”

“I promise to take care of her, love her and not allow harm to come to her.”

“Ugh...how disgustingly mushy… fuck I needed a recorder, no one will fucking believe me if I tell em. Alright whatever, blah, blah, blah..now pronounce you husband and wife, you can now fuck your bride if you haven’t already. Fuck you two, I got people to kill.”

The man ran off in a hurry, leaving her lying there with her apparently now husband. Jim watched her silently for a few moments, a slight hint of warmth to his eyes. Tilting his head he she felt his hands against her face, gently pulling the gag out of her mouth.

“See now, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Without waiting for an answer he leaned down and she felt his lips against hers, nibbling at her top lip before closing his lips around it. She was confused at how gentle he was suddenly being. She could feel his tongue tasting her lips. Taking his time, he working her mouth open and explored. Even with her practically frozen. After what felt like an eternity he pulled away and looked at her.

“Come on…wife... I have a lot of shit to take care of before we can call it a night.”

the-100-cast-photo-clarke-griffin.jpg.f58b54ffc30de5733b137da5677319d6.jpg

 

 

Edited by RogueSolace
chapter warning

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5 hours ago, RogueSolace said:

snip

   Enjoyed the read, god damn those bandit characters sound familiar. 

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5 hours ago, RogueSolace said:

 

Her focus snapped forward as she heard a child wailing. Looking up she saw what looked like maybe a three year old, walking in a diaper, in tears and screaming. The toddler wandered up to the two men, screaming and crying in terror. She frowned, not sure what had happened to the poor thing. The two men looked at each other and said something in low voices she couldn’t make out. The one on the right shrugged. The one on the left, in a fluid movement, pulled a pistol from his belt and put it to the child’s temple. She managed to close her eyes before it happened, but the gunshot echoed, masking her scream of terror.

 

So a three yr old is just wandering..and some bandit randomly pulls a gun to the temple. Alright than.

5 hours ago, RogueSolace said:

 

Fingers quickly checked her boots, ran up along her legs, her hips. Fingers went down the front of her pants and quickly circled her waist to the other side, then went up her sides, back, neck. Anything hidden was immediately found and taken, including her gun and knives. She shrieked into the gag and jerked as a hand went between her legs, quickly moving up, then both along her breasts. Weight shifted and she found herself on her back, being straddled again.

Yessssssssss. 

10/10 would read it again.

5 hours ago, RogueSolace said:

“We’ll you’re not wrong. To some people I’m the lowest scum imaginable. To others I’m something to be more afraid of than this plague that’s destroyed everything. My name alone can put people in their places without me having to lift a finger. That’s what reputation does. That’s where I thrive.”

“See dear, I can still give you a choice, but I know what you’ll pick. It’s… funny….I honestly thought you were some stupid kid the first time I laid eyes on you. Then I realized you weren’t a kid; too mature, too compassionate, so easy to manipulate. But then you surprised me. You’re smarter than most adults, and very, very clever. You were manipulating the people trying to manipulate you. That…was impressive. Then I got to see you fight. You only look cute and innocent, you’re hard as steel under that exterior, and a temper to go with it. Normally I’d just find that amusing and let my boys break you…see how long it took. But… I don’t know… you know when we got those funny, stupid emotions, that make us all warm and feel things? I get that when I look at you Elizabeth… I don’t know what the fuck about is you so different than any other stubborn bitch I’ve met and broken…maybe your naivety…something cute about the way you look so confused.”

Footfalls approached again from the other side, he glanced up then back down with an unconcerned expression. Another man covered head to toe looked down at her. His clothing was splattered in fresh blood.

“Not sure really… I guess that happens though... I know you like me Elizabeth…or well, you did before you learned all this about me. Tsk tsk. Too late. We’ll….. for whatever reason I really like you. I’m fully intending to keep you. I’m not a good man, I’ll admit that. I’m a horrible man. But I’m not like the idiots out there. I can be reasoned with, I’ll listen when someone speaks, actually consider their words.”

“I won’t be horrible to you, quite the opposite in fact. I can be very attentive, even nurturing at times. I won’t beat you, won’t let others beat you or torture you, won’t cheat on you, won’t rape you, though I am willing to give it some time… I do expect you to fulfil certain… wifely…duties. I won’t ignore you, maybe even pleasure you more than you think… I’ll keep you, won’t throw you away or abandon you. All I want, is that same respect back… is that unreasonable to ask for Elizabeth? Is that too complicated?”

She shook her head no, slowly. The man behind them pulled a scarf off of his face, keeping his eyes covered with goggles and a hat. He grinned widely as he stared down at her, listening. That grin scared her to the core.

“I didn’t think it would be…but I can be a decent guy. I’ll give you a choice. You can stay with me…and be a good little wife, and I’ll be good to you. Or, I can let you try to run off, only to be grabbed by my men, and pretty much used when they want, how they want, as much as they want, for as long as they want to keep you. There are a lot of them too, they’ll keep you very, very busy if you’re concerned about being bored.”

She felt more tears as she heard the grinning man chuckle. How is that a choice?

He watched her for a few seconds, studying her face.

“Not sure she likes those options boss, doesn’t seem to sure does she.”

He continued looking into her eyes.

“Probably not…but a lot better than what most people would give her.”

“Most people would be filling every hole she’s got right now, enjoying every scream and seeing who could rack up the best ones… that sounds fun… I need to go cut people and hear some screaming. Too damn quiet at the moment.”

“I dunno… may need you in a moment.”

“Oh I guess that is my specialty isn’t it…. I know what will help her decide. You should let her have some firsthand experience with the boys, get a feel for it. Set a timer or something; let her watch it slowly count down. She don’t have the strength to respond give her another round, she’ll get stronger… or its gonna be a long night.”

“Hm… might be a good idea.”

She looked back and forth in terror, looking at the man inches from her face; she shook her head no repeatedly.

“I don’t know…maybe it will be good for you…help you realize this offer in a better light.”

She locked her eyes to his and shook her head no, her body shaking with sobs.

“Made your choice?”

She nodded, then leaned up and gently pressed her forehead to his, trying to control the hysterical sobbing that was threatening to consume her. He chuckled and smiled.

“Somehow I knew you liked me more.”

The other man stretched and pulled out a knife. Glancing down he grinned again.

“Alright, alright… Uh who gives a fuck cause no one’s here cept me and corpses… of course you want him, you wouldn’t be laying under him if not. You promise to do all the shit you said?”

“I promise to take care of her, love her and not allow harm to come to her.”

“Ugh...how disgustingly mushy… alright right whatever, blah, blah, blah..now pronounce you husband and wife, you can now fuck your bride if you haven’t already. Fuck you two, I got people to kill.”

The man ran off in a hurry, leaving her lying there with her apparently now husband. He watched her silently for a few moments, a slight hint of warmth to his eyes. Tilting his head he she felt his hands against her face, gently pulling the gag out of her mouth.

“See now, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

  Without waiting for an answer he leaned down and she felt his lips against hers, nibbling at her top lip before closing his lips around it. She could feel his tongue tasting her lips, taking his time to work her mouth open and explore. After what felt like an eternity he pulled away and looked at her.

“Come on…wife... I have a lot of shit to take care of before we can call it a night.”

Jesus fucking Christ that took a spin. Filling all the plotHOLES in.

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I generally prefer straight up D/s to S&M rape fantasy, but I appreciate the effort you put into this.  Didn't realize DayZRP tolerated this kind of fiction.  Hmmmm, if I can find an appropriate RP partner, you might start seeing some new stuff from me too.

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Wonderful read. Your writing style is very impressive. 

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@SinMore detail later, at work, but no. No actual rape happens, not allowed. The point is as a female, thats the normal threat. It doesn't actually happen, its implied as a serious and very real threat. There is no rape fantasy about it at all. There is nothing glamorous about it. Its a horrible thing that happens and is turned into jokes. Part of why I used it, better explanation later

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15 minutes ago, RogueSolace said:

@SinMore detail later, at work, but no. No actual rape happens, not allowed. The point is as a female, thats the normal threat. It doesn't actually happen, its implied as a serious and very real threat. There is no rape fantasy about it at all. There is nothing glamorous about it. Its a horrible thing that happens and is turned into jokes. Part of why I used it, better explanation later

Technically you can - take a look ;).

Edited by Volke

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13 minutes ago, RogueSolace said:

@SinMore detail later, at work, but no. No actual rape happens, not allowed. The point is as a female, thats the normal threat. It doesn't actually happen, its implied as a serious and very real threat. There is no rape fantasy about it at all. There is nothing glamorous about it. Its a horrible thing that happens and is turned into jokes. Part of why I used it, better explanation later

ye all though , u can technically roleplay it out in game. As long as theres consent from both parties and it's done in a mature fashion. It's happened before. *Remembers Mr.Black and Hope in the barn*

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Very good story, looking forward to running into your character. 

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@Undead and @Volke; in game, yeah.  Seen / been involved in some twisted shit here and there. 

@RogueSolace Of course, and no animals have been harmed either, I presume.  I'm not meaning to White Knight or Bleeding Heart all over the place, just recalling when stuff like this would not be allowed due to the fact that it might 'trigger' certain people.  This was before 'trigger' was a bad word. 

While I accept your argument that since no rape occurs your fiction skirts the rules and community standards and is therefore allowable, your story undeniably raises the specter of rape, and dangles it tantalizingly in front of eager readers for an unusually long time.  That's where the 'rape fantasy' accusation comes from.

My main purpose for posting was to draw you out a little, maybe start a little discussion about 'rape culture' in relation to rape as a trope in fiction and role 'play'.  Especially in an environment such as this, where a large percentage of the population cannot be regarded as 'adult'.

Again, not trying to be an ass, I'm just a curious fellow who loves playing with language and ideas, especially with the people of this community.  I've got no dog in this fight other than my own amusement.

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Plan to post prob tomorrow, def talking about rape culture. The idea is that for people feeling its a lure, or something sexy, its a very real threat pretty much any woman has been threatened with. Im tying to point that out to a degree, its become so mainstream people forget people are living in fear everyday or had their lives ruined etc. its not funny, its terrifying. its sort of more meant to be a smack in the face to the reader to realize that

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Worth five minutes of anyone's time - Please listen:  http://pseudopod.org/2006/09/01/flash-your-shoes/

Edit - Just realized this story was posted over 10 years ago.  It has stuck in my mind all that time.

Edited by Sin

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I will be putting a trigger warning here: Rape, violence, death.

And no, I don’t mean ‘trigger warning’ as in ‘omg someone is upset and offended, call the waaaaaambulance!’

I mean it as in: what I’m writing could make certain people, very not okay, and I don’t want that. Being a sufferer of PTSD (which is not always military combat related by any means, for me caretaking and verbal abuse) I’m well aware of what this is, and it’s not a joke.

“For people with PTSD, it is very common for their memories to be triggered by sights, sounds, smells or even feelings that they experience. These triggers can bring back memories of the trauma and cause intense emotional and physical reactions, such as raised heart rate, sweating and muscle tension.

 

Anyone who wants to poke fun or laugh or make jokes about what I write about can get the fuck out of here now. Because I’m not tolerating it, there is absolutely nothing funny about this. I’m also not going to argue with anyone about any of this. This isn’t a discussion thread, it’s a story thread. This is being written because it was actually intended to be anyways. This is NOT an accusation or assault on anyone, any gender, etc.

I’ll try to get this cranked out before leaving for work.

To be honest, I was extremely hesitant on releasing this chapter. I almost went back and edited a lot of things out of it. But once I got it all down, I decided not to. I actually had a lot more happen in the fight but ran out of time to write it and decided to leave it out. While yes some character traits were borrowed from some awesome people, overall this story really was based around things I’ve experienced via rp and using real life examples.

I’m actually very surprised at the attention it’s gotten, and I’m happy that the feedback I’ve received is positive.

The massacre was depicted from experience as a ch at GMTC being under constant siege and the final shoot down of GMTC on the oceanfront. My ch was inside and heard shouting, threats and gunfire, and ended up climbing the building she was in nearly to the roof. But people were on the roof and she did not know who. So she ended up sort of trapped mid-level until she a holdout situation with a comrade happened until an attempt to surrender and be shot. I heard later that pretty much everyone who had surrendered in the beginning, were executed anyways. Please mind, this was what I heard, this could totally be wrong, I wasn’t there when that happened (new spawn time). Also just about any hold up (hands up blah blah)

The rest I thought of stories, history, and reality.

As a 30 year old woman, what have I been threatened with, what have I lived in fear of every day, in new places, walking alone, at time I shouldn’t have to, along with my friends doing the same, and what has ruined the lives of so many people on a daily basis. What’s something that infuriates me because it gets turned into a joke by many and the people you feel are supporting you and whom you trust to keep you safe are sitting there laughing their asses off about it? Rape.

Rape culture and Feminism run high on the list as well of points to this. Rape culture has romanticized rape (Bollywood) , depicting it as a form of ‘keep pushing her even though she says no, they’ll give in eventually and happy ending.’ Or force and they enjoy (Porn) Things like the bars where you ask for a certain person or drink, and it’s a flag that you need help, the crew will get you out of the situation safely. To me it’s ingenious. To a lot of my guy friends it’s pathetic and stupid. Things like ‘friend zoned’ etc. The aspect that because you are nice to someone and get a crush on them, and they decide they don’t want a romantic relationship, they’re suddenly these awful people. Rape is depicted as a sexual desire, that women must really enjoy it and saying no means give me more.

tumblr_na9be1ZLlx1qlp8eco1_500.jpg

Give this man all of the awesome points:

https://www.buzzfeed.com/lyapalater/daniel-radcliffe-isnt-down-with-the-term-friend-zone?utm_term=.blXdA4doo#.ijGEYOEVV

 

There is too much out there to explain all of the various issues, I’m not even going to try to look up all of them….

When you’re at a bar the last you thing you probably worry about is your drink. For a woman it’s nearly always on the top. If someone gives me their drink and asks me to watch it while they use the restroom or something, I don’t just set it next to me. My automatic reaction is to either put my hand entirely over it (if using a straw and sanitary obviously) or to put a napkin with my hand over it and literately not take my eyes off it until they return and its back in their hands. Sound stupid? It shouldn’t.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKIIL7tTmTg\

I was physically sickened in college when an English teacher read a news article depicting a 4 month old child was gang raped in Africa. Stories like this

http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/264259

“Child rapes soared in South Africa this month

BY ADRIANA STUIJT     DEC 31, 2008 IN CRIME

437 young children were raped this month in just one SA province, KwaZulu-Natal. Sowetan journalist Mary Papayya reports. Last December there were 75 reported child-rapes in this province. Some victims didn't survive: they were only a few months old.

Read more: http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/264259#ixzz4jxanoBKB

 

Groups like Boko Harem and ISIS are prevalent for this right now:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/africa/they-were-freed-from-boko-harams-rape-camps-but-their-nightmare-isnt-over/2016/04/03/dbf2aab0-e54f-11e5-a9ce-681055c7a05f_story.html?utm_term=.4a25dad04999

(I have a bunch of links I'll have to add later)

 

Lack of actual sexual education doesn’t help, along with making things like contraceptives hard to afford, ‘I don’t like condoms’ etc.

I knew someone in college who had no idea what a period was. They knew it was bleeding, and women had it monthly, and it was normal. But their school never taught them WHY. They had a mother and a sister, both whom he was afraid to ask because while no one ever taught him, everyone would think of him as an idiot at the same time. It’s not his fault he was never taught. Also, yes he fully understood sex and making of babies. He was just never taught a period was tied to it. Thankfully my friend came to me who he knew wouldn’t judge him and I was able to make some sense for him. So don’t try to tell me that education isn’t failing people.

Guys joke about a girl being ‘nice and tight’ or ‘too loose’. What they don’t seem to understand is that those are muscles. You shove something into a hole that doesn’t fit, it can tear the hole. That has thousands of nerves. IT FUCKING HURTS, think of someone taking and hitting your balls with a hammer :D that whole body is in excruciating pain and practically shuts down? That. So… when some is like ‘oh she was so tight…’ congratulations, you are bragging about FAILING to turn your partner on enough to relax and enjoy anything.

I could go on and on and on but stopping here. Also, rape is not about only women. We are the most abused with it, but rape can happen to anyone, by anyone else. It’s not funny, it’s not a joke, no one deserves it, end of discussion. Also yes, some people abuse the power of the word, using it to be vengeful towards people, those people are incredibly fucked up.                                                                                                                                                  

This isn’t funny, and a lot of things I brought up in this chapter because of the reality of it.

 

 

Women are threatened with rape, especially during crisis, because it’s easy to hurt them, and in ways people don’t think about. It’s an abuse of power and privilege. It’s devastating both physically and mentally, a complete violation of the self. Look at how in ancient history ‘sacking’ a city meant not just taking all the stuff and burning it down, it meant taking any woman you wanted. It was considered normal. Not okay.

Anyone who has seen 300: Rise of an Empire, Artemisia’s repeated rape and being left for dead should have disturbed you. It was considered normal and acceptable, when in truth it was beyond not okay, simply using the excuse of someone less powerful than the attacker of a victorious nation.

The rape comments in this story have evoked people being horrified, taking it seriously, joking about it (holes) etc. This should really be a serious slap in the face. That’s the point of it. ‘omg that’s fucked up.’ Yes it is, and it’s a reality that millions face a day, and think it’s funny. Oh it’s cool, if you marry this person you just get raped by one, not a bunch of people. That doesn’t make it better or okay.

This is IN NO WAY a fantasy or approval of the behavior. It’s intended to point out something; it’s intended to make the reader feel physically sick as they’re reading. I want it to be a gut punch. I want the reader to feel the fear, feel the horror and dread. Something as simple as a weapon check could really be mentally damaging to someone because they don’t know the difference in what is happening and only knows they’re being violated in a way they’ve been raised to fear their whole lives. They’re a massive difference between a security pat down (usually women pat down other women so they don’t feel threatened) versus being groped.

Sadly, a lot of women don’t know the difference, because that power of what is supposed to be safety gets abused. All the time? Hell no. I’ve had to have the ‘feet out, arms up while we run a detector over you’ at airports, and one time this poor guy was so apologetic to me. I was like…uh sir… you’re just doing your job to keep us safe, I’m not offended….. I’ve also nearly flipped out on a doctor who was checking me at an emergency clinic for abdomen pain. Usually if doctors need to feel lower in the abdomen and have to unbutton pants etc to do it, they ask you to do it yourself, they ask if its okay, and they tell you exactly what they are doing as they are doing it. There is no question as to what is happening. This doctor was just casually talking about something and without any warning starts undoing my pants. I froze because I suddenly felt violated and had no idea what he was doing. Thankfully he was only pressing into my lower abdomen, every other doctor I told this to (trying to justify was I overreacting in being as upset as I was= response by professionals- absolutely not overreacting) was horrified and agreed he should have asked.

A hand between those areas brushing for weapons is getting viewed as ‘oh that’s kinda hot’. Or the threat of rape is teasing.  Please stop and think about that for a moment. Use the brain…. It shouldn’t be considered funny or sexy. The fear evoked is a very real fear. Being helpless and having no idea what someone is actually doing.

These types of comments are mainstream and it’s disgusting. The sad reality is that it’s true. These are things I would expect to hear if I was in a situation like that. Getting captured in real life to me isn’t a fear of being taken and a quick death, its hours of torture via rape and other means, then dying. Because look at the news, that’s what happens.  

I knew this person, Brianna.

http://wtkr.com/2016/11/16/justin-cornell-to-be-sentenced-for-murder-of-brianna-armstrong/

It’s not funny and it shouldn’t be.

 

There is a lot more but I don’t have time to write it all.

Essentially extreme violence. Yes. Have you read history? People murder children. Nazi’s used to throw babies and shoot them. It’s beyond fucked up and its to evoke what the person goes through while people are being all macho or whatever.

Also known as crowd psychology.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crowd_psychology

People have mentioned the child…. Yet no one has mentioned the group of sick, disabled and elderly being massacred. Was it simply overlooked? Or was the child more startling than a full group of people including other children who had no way to fight back?

The point of this chapter was to show brutality in reality. Not as a game, a movie, or a joke. So much of this behavior gets turned into story, plot, fun things. Yet I think people still need to be able to understand the realization and horror of why some people don’t like it. Because people like me who are extremely empathetic, understand, while were playing a game and by all means go ahead, this kind of behavior really is someone else’s reality somewhere out there.

As this is a story thread, please no comments including- feminism is bad, memes, I’m a bitch, not all ---, but this says ‘with invalid resource’, (Wikipedia is considered invalid but I’m on short time here), anything really arguing with me about all of this. We’re all allowed to have our opinions and criticisms. That’s fine. I just don’t want this derailing into a massive debate.

Please and thank you.

 

((I had a lot more links to things but computer is being stupid and I should have left 20 min ago)

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Taking her arm he pulled her back onto her feet. She wanted to throw up, then nothing more but curl up and go to sleep. To wake up from this nightmare. Or not wake again, if it made it all go away.

Looking up as she spotted movement she realized he was holding her backpack out to her. She looked up at him, confused. He’d taken it along with anything else useful. He bounced it slightly with his arm, indicating for her to take it. She snatched it and held it tightly to her chest, not understanding. Was he just going to take it again? Using it to keep her in line?

“You took this away…why are you giving it back?”

“Would you rather I destroy it?”

She took a step back, glaring at him and growled from her rage. For a moment she forgot to be afraid of him. Just as quickly she remembered and froze, wondering how he’d punish her for the act of defiance.

She felt more confused when he burst out laughing at her. She couldn’t stop glaring at him. “Something funny?” She kept her tone as cold as possible.

His laughter eased and he watched her with a smile. “You get feisty when riled. Was waiting for that to show up.” She continued to glare. He chuckled and shook his head in amusement, looking down. Then he sighed, looked back up, took a step forward and locked eyes with her. His expression turned more serious.

“I took anything you could use as a weapon out.”

Of course he did….her eyes widened at a realization, “You took my needles? Syringes? Tools? I need those! I can’t treat people without them!”

He leaned down until he was about an inch from her face. “You won’t be treating anyone here. Even then, I’m giving you a test. I left those in the bag. But if I find anyone, and I mean anyone. With a stab wound that matches any of those, anywhere near where you’ve been. You’re not getting them back. I’ll take in account there are other areas with the same supplies; that smart people would use to fight back. Just because I find something doesn’t mean it’s automatically you. Also applies if I catch you trying to use any of it to hurt yourself. Fair?”

Of course it wasn’t fair. She made a frustrated noise, wanting to protest, but she also realized what he was doing. Let her have something that was important, something that could be dangerous in the right hands, and see if she’d take the bait to use it against him. Like giving someone the keys to their chains and telling them to not run off in an empty compound. Only all the exits have people waiting to grab you.

So this must be how Stockholm syndrome starts…

She frowned and looked down, putting the backpack on.  “….thank you.” As pissed as she was, she knew most would have probably just destroyed whatever was inside out of spite. He ruffled her hair gently, leaning in to kiss her forehead, before taking her hand in his. “Come on.”

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@Samti ?❤️

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Love it, thank you.  Love your fiction, Love your ... 'statement'.  It needed to be there.  For the more obtuse among us.

If you haven't won the day for this, there is no justice.

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Somehow this story got even better

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@Sin Thank you! ❤️

@PCJames Thank you!❤️ Curious as to how? 

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Why it's your continued brilliant use of stream of consciousness. The reader really understands what Beth is feeling at all times. This writing tool along with figures of speech and smoothly integrated dialogue makes this piece better by every addition because while the content may not be easy to read, the smoothness allows you to fully comprehend Beth's story and this makes this piece truly remarkable. 

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