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Nova_Ethridge

Whitelist Background Quality - An Example

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Guest NopeYup

This was mine, what do you guys think of it?


Max W. Kayne, born July 6th 1988 (age 27), was an aspiring politician in the United States of America. As a child he liked to go hunting with his father, and thus was not unaccustomed to spending a few nights living in the wilderness. However, his carefree attitude changed at the age of 14, when his father was killed in a corner-store robbery gone wrong. It took him many years to recover from this blow, but by the age of 19 he was ready to put his past behind him and ensure that his father did not die in vain. Using his natural skills in communication, and a glowing charisma, he gained office as a representative in the General Assembly of Illinois at the age of 24. With the help of a few political friends, he was able to quickly put pressure on the state government to endorse tighter background checks on gun purchases. Because of this, gun violence and crime rate quickly decreased in the state of Illinois, and other states soon introduced similar policies of their own. This brought a large amount of attention to Max, and he soon ran for office in the House of Representatives, and after months of grueling political combat, he obtained office. February 5th, 2013, Representative Max W. Kayne arrived in Washington D.C. from his 4-hour flight. His first meeting was in a few hours, so he had no time to relax. As he walked in through the Congress doors he sat down in his seat, with an hour or so left to kill. Slowly more Representatives showed up and took their respective seats, and finally the session was about to commence. Out of the corner of his eye Max noticed a figure quickly dart around the corner, thinking nothing of it Max continued to shuffle through his papers in preparation for his first session of Congress. Suddenly, the entire building shook as a large boom echoed through the halls, within a second of this another explosion went off, this time it was barely 100 ft. away from him. The explosion threw Max and the other representatives out of their seats and quickly engulfed the building in flames. All around him, people caught fire while others were were simply were dismembered by the explosion, Max was one of the lucky ones as he was seated far from the explosion. Max quickly rushed to the exit, and slammed open the door, only to be met with the muzzle of a gun on the other side of it. For a few seconds, the assailant and Max stared each other in the eyes, with only a few feet between them, then the shot rang out. Max couldn't feel anything, he dropped to the floor like a puppet who had just been cut from its strings. All he could hear was an intangible ringing, and slowly he faded away.

A few days later, Max awoke buried deep beneath a pile of rubble, he tried to scream for help but nothing came out. In a daze, he pushed some of the rubble out of the way, and was blinded by light. It was not until he pulled himself free of the rubble that he realized the light was not the sun, instead the remains of Washington D.C. in flames. He staggered to his feet, and quickly realized that the bullet had missed his brain, and instead went through his mouth and out the back of his head, missing his spinal chord by mere millimeters. Max limped through what used to be a window and got a better view of the city. Nearly all the buildings were in ruins, bodies were strewn in the street, and the smell of death was in the air. As he gasped for air, he screamed for help, hoping someone would hear his plea, however this 'someone' would have been better left alone. An corpse that he presumed was dead suddenly shook violently and grabbed hold of his leg, pulling him to the ground and biting into his leg. Screaming in pain, Max tried to kick free of the undead creature, but it was no use. When all hope seemed to be lost, a gunshot rang out through the air and flew into the creature's head. Looking up, Max was greeted with a blinding light and the sounds of a helicopter. As the bird landed, armed soldiers jumped out and quickly dragged Max into the helicopter. Inside, doctors with gas masks tied a large rag around Max's face, and he slowly passed out again.

A few hours later Max again awoke, this time inside of a large airplane packed with a mix of soldiers and civilians. A man dressed in military fatigues walked over to the cot that Max was laying on and smiled.

"Nice to see your awake Mr. Kayne, we'll have more time to answer your questions once we get to the Safe-Zone."

As the man walked away, Max tried to grasp hold of what had just happened, unfortunately for him his journey was just getting started. The large cargo-plane suddenly shook and dipped downwards dramatically, screams filled the air and suddenly the left side of the plane broke away, sucking out passengers and plunging them to their deaths. Max regained his senses and grabbed hold of a seat to brace himself against, it was a decision that would save his life, a few seconds later the planed crashed into the ocean. Again, Max passed out.

An unknown amount of time later, Max awoke on a beach. He staggered to his feet and puked out seawater, barely able to move his head, he managed to get a view of the area that he was in. However, he didn't have time to take in the scenery, a scream rang out to his left. It was another one of the creatures he had seen before, Max quickly jumped to his feet and ran for his life.

His journey had just begun...


I'm just submitted today, so I haven't gotten a result yet, what do you guys think?

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@Nopeyup your story is good and all, but the first part is just a wall of text. You should paragraph it better before sending it in. Good luck!

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Guest Arrow

Thanks, this was good reading, since im getting ready to make and application in a few hours.

Yeah buddy

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Guest NopeYup

@Nopeyup your story is good and all, but the first part is just a wall of text. You should paragraph it better before sending it in. Good luck!

Haha, yeah i'm not to good with separating situations.

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Just wondering if writing a first person form such as a letter directed to nobody is a good way to approach the background information. I briefly discussed my character past i.e family, friends etc but was more focused on what has happened to him since the outbreak and how he winded up on the shores of Chernarus. Was that a good decision or should I rewrite my story more focused on his past?

Cheers

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Just wondering if writing a first person form such as a letter directed to nobody is a good way to approach the background information. I briefly discussed my character past i.e family, friends etc but was more focused on what has happened to him since the outbreak and how he winded up on the shores of Chernarus. Was that a good decision or should I rewrite my story more focused on his past?

Cheers

In my opinion, both! The more detail the better. It's good to talk about the character before the outbreak so his personality is shown. And everything you write can be something you can talk about when you are in game.

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Mine was about a paragraph long :P guess I got in while it was easy.

I got in this week. It's pretty simple if you ask me. Not like some RP games or communities where you have to write a 10k character story. 1k is pretty easy. I used like 6000 characters at the end of my story. Though I think it was a lame story. It got me in! :D

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Great story, I could definitely take some hints from this for when I'm writing my own background.

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Thanks for the guide!

Heres what I typed up, It's not as good as yours. Its about me trying to find my wife.

Name: Seth Charleston

Gender: Male

Age: 20

Job: General Manager at Deanz & Beans

Athletic

Hobbys: camping, fishing, hiking.

Expertise: Knows the landscape well. Can start a fire under 15 seconds. Marksman with a crossbow.

Story Line: Before the zombie outbreak, Seth loves the outdoors. He liked to camp, fish, hike, and just watch the sunset. He hated his job at Deanz & Beans because he could never get off of work to go outdoors. While he was walking on the beach to his house, he saw a plane crash overhead. His girlfriend Katy who worked in Elektro at Sardine Corp, went on a business trip to the country of Takistan, however that was the week before hell was unleashed. Upon her arrival to Chernarus, something was wrong with the flight attendant. She started to... twitch. Many people screamed and the pilot was too distracted to fly over the distraction.

He crash landed on the beach. When Seth searched the plane, he didn't find any survivers. Katy wasn't found inside the plane. A man ran at Seth. That was when Seth realized that hundreds of people were heading to the plane crash... but something was off about them. After watching a episode of The Walking Dead on AMC the previous night, he knew what they were. Either Seth was in a delusional coma or he is having a nightmare. But he wasn't. And thus the legacy begins of Seth Charleston...

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Guest Malcolm

Reading some of these has made me doubt if my application will ever be accepted. Thought I'd share it and see what people think.

Malcolm Hunter was a loyal and dedicated Sergeant under the direct command of Thomas Preston (Check his background) in the Mercian Regiment. He was strong, both mentally and physically. He served alongside Preston and his good friend William Fox in all of their operations in Afghanistan. He had served for fifteen years with his friends, luckily not losing either.

Due to the constant explosions through the nights on Op HERRICK 12 and Op HERRICK 15, Hunter developed a serious case of insomnia, and was medically discharged from the Army shortly after Preston was also discharged himself due to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Hunter's insomnia made him become paranoid, and always on edge. He began to lose trust in all people in his life, including family, except his two friends, who had been through all of it with him.

Upon realising that his insomnia needed to be treated, he recommended that he and Preston both go to see a shrink in Chernogorsk, Chernarus. He was supposedly one of the best in the world. Shortly before leaving, his good friend William Fox was also discharged from the Army (check his background), so they all decided to go together.

(I recently read that the "Ex Soldier" is a dead beat background. Hope this doesn't ruin my application. *Fingers crossed*)

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Guest Preston

Thomas Preston was a seasoned officer of the Mercian Regiment in the British Army several years prior to the outbreak. He had been deployed overseas multiple times, including to Afghanistan in Op HERRICK 12 and Op HERRICK 15. Shortly after his return from his final tour of duty in Afghanistan, he began showing symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). With this, he was medically discharged from the Army. Malcolm Hunter, fellow friend and soldier from the Mercian Regiment, recommended that he sees a shrink, one of the best in the world, who was in Chernogorsk, Chernarus.

One by one, Malcolm and William Fox (another good friend) were also both medically discharged some years later (Check their background) and all left together to seek the work of the world renowned shrink.

******

Touching down on Balota Airstrip, they were greeted with a much different ambience than what they left behind in the United Kingdom. The entire airfield was abandoned, nothing but bodies scattered the hangars. Immediately, signs of the PTSD began to show within Thomas. While heading to Chernogorsk, Thomas had an outbreak of rage and jumped out of the fast moving vehicle and disappeared off into the wilderness.

*NOTICE*

William Fox's account has been deleted, so his contribution to the story has been made redundant :/

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Wow I love the rather unique approach you guys are taking. Although ex-soldier is extremely over used, I think you have both done it very well. Really wish I could hear Williams part.

I suppose only time will tell if you have done well enough.

Good luck.

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Guest Preston

Wow I love the rather unique approach you guys are taking. Although ex-soldier is extremely over used, I think you have both done it very well. Really wish I could hear Williams part.

I suppose only time will tell if you have done well enough.

Good luck.

William Fox was a corporal under Thomas Preston's command in the Mercian Regiment during Op HERRICK 12 and Op HERRICK 15. These were two separate operations in Afghanistan during the War on Terror.

William Fox was a fun, yet eccentric character in the regiment, which began a trustworthy bond and friendship between himself, Thomas Preston and Malcolm Hunter.

Nothing seemed to bother Fox, at least until both of his friends were medically discharged from the Army with major mental disorders (check their backgrounds). This slowly began to cause Fox to slip into a major depression, as they were the only two people who were valued to him in his life. Fox frequently developed suicidal tendencies which were on the verge of being both medically and legally insane. Due to this, he too was medically discharged from the Army.

Upon finding out that his two friends were leaving the country to visit a shrink in Chernogork, Chernarus, he requested that he could join them to see if his depression could be cured. Little did any of them know that an outbreak had occurred during the flight which lead to the rapid decimation of the once-proud Post-Soviet State.

There you are, pal! Dug out a copy of it that he sent me on Skype! Enjoy!

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Guest Malcolm

Wow I love the rather unique approach you guys are taking. Although ex-soldier is extremely over used, I think you have both done it very well. Really wish I could hear Williams part.

I suppose only time will tell if you have done well enough.

Good luck.

Thank you very much for the compliment, mate. Boosted a bit of moral. We had our doubts about our applications. You've lifted spirits, mate!

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Guest Preston

Wow I love the rather unique approach you guys are taking. Although ex-soldier is extremely over used, I think you have both done it very well. Really wish I could hear Williams part.

I suppose only time will tell if you have done well enough.

Good luck.

I've also put up a thread in the Roleplaying forum with all three stories together for an easier and more accessible read.

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2 great stories. I completely forgot to make a copy of mine, but i remember roughly what it was. Will post it if I get accepted :)

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Guest KrazyKaptain

Comment on my own story?

Name: Cptn. Reuben 'The Janitor' Jowers, Joint Task Force 2, CANSOFCOM, Canadian Armed Forces

Age: 37

Reuben was raised a small-town boy in southwestern Canada by a small family of Argentinian immigrants. The large family had immigrated together and established an outpost for the major oil tycoon CNR Limited, with Reuben's father, Santiago, being head of the family and that branch of the department. Every member had their own roles within the company, as well as roles on the outpost. Reuben was the resident hunter for the family, trapping small game while stalking larger prey to put meats on the table. He was also the major pipeline into the towns and cities nearby; he was the designated member to buy groceries and trade with local settlements. Reuben also gained a small amount of middle-management and leadership skills from his father's position, which was helpful in his later life.

After a major usurpation in Canadian politics that had the head of state a member of the green party, major restrictions were placed on Canadian Natural Reserves, Ltd., forcing them to shut down the outpost. The family fell to ruins, each person stepping out of the outpost looking for work. Reuben and his brother, Diego, joined the Canadian Army in the Regular Forces. After training in Calgary, Reuben was drafted as an NCO and sent to the Royal Military Academy of Sandhurst in the UK. Trained as an officer, he received further training in India on the leadership of militant forces and Guerrilla tactics.

A few years after the completion of his training, Reuben was pulled out of of the militia and into Joint Task Force 2, a branch of the Canadian Special Operations Forces Command. After failing a peace negotiation in Rwanda in 2001, he was hit in the neck due to the resultant crossfire and sent back to Britain for emergency care. Even after recovering, he still struggled with simple tasks such as eating, but did not allow that to stop his military career. He was awarded the Distinguished Service Order cross, as well as the Military Cross, for his valiant duties under fire. His unit was also merited the United States Presidential Unit Citation.

In 2002, he was sent to assist the development of Operation Anaconda in Afghanistan where he supported the withdrawal from the Shahi Kot Valley. He was the team leader of one of three QRFs responsible for extracting NATO and US forces from the front lines. After his pilot was killed by a handheld SPG, he took control of the Chinook and managed to save both his own team and the one he was extracting despite being wounded in one leg and flying a crippled helicopter. After these duties he was awarded the Victoria Cross and retired from the military into active retirement.

After five years, Reuben's special skill-set as a militia officer were needed and he was pressed into active service again. He was sent into Chernarus as a small contingency of Canadian, American, and British officers aimed at training the CDF into a fighting force capable of halting the Russian advances so that regular military invasion could be avoided. After training his contingency of militia, he was given the nickname 'Janitor' by his men for his uncanny ability to fix other people's wrecked plans. This was evident in his many assists to the marine landings across the Chernarussian beaches and assault on the airfield. Soon before the outbreak, he was relieved of command and prepared to be sent home for R&R, but never achieved it. He was stuck in Chernarus, forced to use his own guile to survive in this new wasteland wilderness.

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I kinda of went for a story you could read into ie the guys has issues serious issues.

still waiting to hear if I get in if I do or don't ill post it here as advice to others

Des

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Comment on my own story?

-snip-

It was a good story, detailed and well written. At first I was unsure because I saw it was a military background, but by the end I was satisfied, it is one of the finer military background stories I have a read. :)

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Thanks for this, iwe been making small storys off what i have in mind for 3 days now and i want it to be perfect and this totaly helped me out! thanks!

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Great background! Just out of curiosity, should our character have a goal in Chenarus other than surviving? Like finding a cure for the infection, brining order back to Chenarus, or establishing a safe haven for survivors? What do you recommend?

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That is absolut up to you. Be creative. You can do whatever you like, if you can explain it in a good way. It should fit to the scene. Example; If you are a guy from Taiwan, explain why you are now in Chernarus. What happend to you? Are you angry or maybe hurt? How is your character? Is he a bad guy or naive....There are so many possibilities. Good Luck to you!

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Guest MrBrown

Hi just submitted my story, and now I read military stories are not a good path to go down, I hope mine is a bit different from others :) It is also a bit long but I chopped it down as much as I could. Please let me know what you think.

oh and the guy Lee in the story is my friend who is also applying, so he will probably put his story up to.

I was raised in Derry, Northern Ireland through the height of the troubles. When bombs were plentiful and Kneecaps were scarce.Although I desired a united Ireland the power of the British Empire drew me in and I enlisted in the British Army.

I spent years in conflict always learning more about the relentless vile beast I had given my life to. I discovered corruption and deceit on a global level, where we were all corporate stock ready to be bought, sold or disposed of.

At the start of the year 2000 I was part of a team with a...very defined skill set shall I say...We were sent to Iraq on a reconnaissance operation, this was not our usual MO but we followed our orders. We would be given our targets on the ground by a contact 'code name Kelvin' We were prepared for anything but we assumed our objectives would be military or resource based.

I had seen death many times before our contact with 'Kelvin' but I had never felt a presence like his before. We met with him in a small shack in the desert about 40 clicks from our nearest town. The shack was about 40 degrees but with Kelvins presence it dropped to the point I could see my breath. I kept contact with my trigger the entire time he was there.

Our mission turned out to be in a cave system which was once an ancient Samarian city, and all we had to do was retrieve one small golden box. For three days we went deeper and deeper until we reached a cavern that was sealed like no other had been. There was a strange alloy covering the only entrance we could find. It took three times the normal amount of V-Charge to penetrate and continued to bubble as if reaching out to the section we had just blasted away. This is where we found the box and this is where my life changed forever.

We had retreated for a day and figured we would be out before night fall of the following day, as we had already cleared the path. We decided to camp for a few hours in a perfectly cubed room carved from the hard rock. We needed to recharge as our energy had been down since we had picked up the golden box, it was strange but i thought nothing of it at the time. Within minutes of us taking our gear off the temperature dropped. Immediately i got the same feeling of death as I did with Kelvin and then it happened there was a large flash of light like I had never seen before and a scream of what could only be described as some sort of ungodly animal.

I woke up looking up at the roof of the small shack we had been in with kelvin however I knew he was not there as the atmosphere was hot and sticky. It was hard to stay conscious so moving was out of the question. I could see the bodies of my team lying with me but they were just as bloody and broken as mine. I wanted to help them...I wanted someone to help me but the blackness beat me down and I succumb to my sub conscious once again.

The next time I woke I was in a military hospital in Germany with no idea how i got there or where the rest of my team were. The doctors were very cold towards me and would ignore my questions about how I got there and what had happened to me and my team. A young nurse eventually told me I had been in a coma for 3 years but quickly left me when the doctor came.

Within a few days I had been released from their medical care and also released from the army I had given my life to, without even so much as a plane ticket home. Alone on the streets of Berlin I did what the Irish do best and I drank my sorrows away.

I decided to stay in Germany for a while and travel around for a bit before going back to Ireland to try to restart my life, about a month into my travels I was at a cheap hotel enjoying Germany’s finest on the Adult payperview channel when my bedside phone started to ring. I now think maybe I should have just let it ring out finish my trip and go home but I didn't.

The voice on the other end of the line offers me a job, no hello no is this Dan Brown just we have a job for you we will pay you one million straight away and a further two million upon completion. I said Ok expecting him to expand but he tells me I will receive the necessary information soon and the line goes dead. I turned to hang up the phone and notice a brown envelope at the bottom of my Hotel door. Chills run down my spine as I read "Project Kelvin" in large black letters across the front of it.

PROJECT KELVIN

On the surface this was an international project to lay new fibre optic communication lines around the world. However my new "telephone friends" had gathered a bit more information than the local press had.

PROJECT KELVIN was run by telecommunication Giants OPTIC-ALL, who had close ties to the British MOD and American security agencies. They had received funding from an anonymous source. However they had left a small traceable file which linked it to money laundered through the US Navy originating from MYSTIC, an American security agency involved in CIA and NSA training and weapons development.

My job was to get on to one of the Trawlers that was supposed to be laying the new fibre lines and gather any information I could on what was really happening. I also had to gather information from one of the head engineers, Larry Highman, who was in direct contact with the project managers in OPTIC-ALL. I was to use any means necessary to complete my mission.

I had a feeling saying no now would be a bad move for me. so I packed up my few belongings and headed to the port town of Mielno, but not before i stopped to call in a favour with an old friend stationed at a British base in Germany. I had saved his life in Bosnia the least he could do was liberate some equipment for me.

I had a long drive to plan my operation and try and pick up any helpful information in news broadcasts on the radio, however as I drew closer to the hotel at which Larry Highman was staying, more news bulletins about people being attacked were coming through, i tell myself "filter it out Dan it has no relevance to the mission"

The streets seemed deserted as I entered the town, it was only a few minutes and I was one street away from the hotel. As I approached it I observed what looked like an engineer leaving the hotel and head in the direction of the docks, there was something familiar about his face which made me think of home.

Inside the hotel it was deserted as well, although as I looked around the front desk I found a note from Lee Derry one of the engineers working on project kelvin, it said that he was on his way to the trawler at the docks. This must have been the man I seen leaving.

I finally catch up with lee but i keep my distance and out of sight, we are nearly at the docks and my heart is beating faster than it has in a long time the thrill of the mission has hit me, but I need to keep my cool, just follow the target and get on the boat without anyone seeing me.

I was trying to figure out how to get on the boat without this man seeing me, and I caught a bit of luck when what looked like a very drunk or a very sick man started a fight with the engineer I was following. I darted in behind a shed on the docks and managed to climb up a line on the bow of the vessel. I just had to conceal myself and wait for Lee to deal with the drunk. I heard a large splash and he boarded the boat alone I guess the drunk went for a swim.

On the way out to sea I could over hear the radio and the word Zombie had now been used on four different stations I then allowed what was being said to come to the front of my mind and I listened to the reports of people eating people and the undead walking the streets. I thought was it real, was I still lying in the desert and this was some sort of delusion, if its real has it got something to do with the golden box and Project Kelvin. I guess only time can tell, but one thing is for sure Is this guy Lee will give me the information I need and if he even so much as licks his lips while looking my direction I will put a 45 straight through his brain.

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