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Bogdan

Please help.

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Bogdan    0

I first posted my application which was.

My name is Bogdan Azarov.

I was born in Russia before moving to central Europe and spending my childhood in Germany.

I recieved all of my education in Germany so my native tounge is German.

I had always taken an intrest in fire arms, from paintball guns to potatoe launchers.

Every year on my birthday i went to a place called warzone to practice shooting and have paintball fights with friends.

My parents had always thought that Germany wasnt the place for us but it had work so we stayed...

When I turned 18 my family moved back to Russia, and soon after I joined the military.

With my background of fire arms it wasnt difficult seeing as it was basic military not Spetsnaz.

I was stationed in the middle of nowhere it felt like.

Spending most of our days playing cards and shooting bottles we became bored.

We never saw combat we just trained our shooting skills and played drinking games.

Years later I was still in active service but they told us we were being restationed.

After years of waiting I could only hope we would finally see some action... little did I know I would never see my family again.

We were being sent to a place called Chernarus to investigate mysterious happenings occurring there.

That is how I arrived here.

The unit that was sent in that I was part of flew in over the country with a Mi-18.

In the blink of an eye we heard artillery and than we started descending to our impeding doom.

12 of us were sent in and only 8 made it out of the aircraft.

A month passed by and the sick people had taken 4 more of my squad.

We made refuge in a castle on a hill, none of even had a clue where we were located.

In our confusion we 4 decided that we should sleep and in the morning we would move out to a new location to find a map.

We awoke to gunshots and another dead friend, we scattered and now I have been alone for the rest of the year I have been here

I miss my family and I would do anything to see them again.

I have wondered this island for a year now and I have yet to find a way out.

I haven't seen my family for a year now and my one goal here is to get back home to my family... at any cost.

I was declined because of this, but I refined it and it became:

My name is Bogdan Azarov. I was born in Russia before moving to central Europe and spending my childhood in Germany. I received all of my education in Germany so my native tongue is German. I had always taken an interest in fire arms, from paintball guns to potato launchers. Every year on my birthday i went to a place called "Warzone" to practice shooting and have paintball fights with friends. My parents had always thought that Germany wasn't the place for us but it had work so we stayed...

When I turned 18 my family moved back to Russia, and soon after I joined the military.With my background of fire arms it wasn't difficult seeing as it was basic military not Spetsnaz. I was stationed in the middle of nowhere it felt like. Spending most of our days playing cards and shooting bottles we became bored. We never saw combat we just trained our shooting skills and played drinking games. Years later I was still in active service but they told us we were being restationed. After years of waiting I could only hope we would finally see some action... little did I know I would never see my family again. We were being sent to a place called Chernarus to investigate mysterious happenings occurring there. That is how I arrived here.

The unit that was sent in that I was part of flew in over the country with a Mi-18. In the blink of an eye we heard artillery and than we started descending to our impeding doom. 12 of us were sent in and only 8 made it out of the aircraft one was torn apart by flak and the rest died on impact. A month passed by and the sick people had taken 4 more of my squad. We made refuge in a castle on a hill, none of us even had a clue where we were located. In our confusion we 4 decided that we should sleep and in the morning we would move out to a new location to find a map. We awoke to gunshots and another dead friend, we scattered and now I have been alone for the rest of the months I have been here I miss my family and I would do anything to see them again. I have wondered this island for almost a year now and I have yet to find a way out. I haven't seen my family for a year now and my one goal here is to get back home to my family... at any cost.

Name: Bogdan Azarov

Age: 20

Height: 6'0"

Weight: 150 lbs

Hair: Black

Eyes: Brown

Pre-Outbreak Profession: Military

Demeanor in Three Words: Loyal, Hard, trustworthy.

Goal: Return to family in Russia.

I was still declined, but all the feedback I recieved on my final copy was praise. I'm so very confused.

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Gullio1    0

I... have no idea. Yours was leaps and bounds above mine in almost all respects. Maybe the few grammar and spelling mistakes?

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   0

What was the reason they gave you ? "Your whitelist application have been denied because of [...?]"

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Bogdan    0

I need a better background story for my character


Apparently

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Gullio1    0

Alright then. Let's get to work.

Have him tell us more about life in Chernarus, and life in the military in general. Let him demonstrate those character traits you put in. And if it doesn't bother you too much, try not making him military. A character who doesn't know how to use a gun is a character who HAS to RP to live. Besides, there are a shitton of military guys in game already.

Hopefully this helps.

Edit: Or not. Maybe this was it?

What Jake said, if you submitted an application between 22:00 - 22:30 you will have to re-send it. Due to an error I made one of the application fields wasn't being saved at all. I had to remove the applications that were saved with that field empty.

This has now been fixed, there shouldn't be any more problems.

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JakeGriffin    0

Alright then. Let's get to work.

Have him tell us more about life in Chernarus, and life in the military in general. Let him demonstrate those character traits you put in. And if it doesn't bother you too much, try not making him military. A character who doesn't know how to use a gun is a character who HAS to RP to live. Besides, there are a shitton of military guys in game already.

Hopefully this helps.

Edit: Or not. Maybe this was it?

What Jake said, if you submitted an application between 22:00 - 22:30 you will have to re-send it. Due to an error I made one of the application fields wasn't being saved at all. I had to remove the applications that were saved with that field empty.

This has now been fixed, there shouldn't be any more problems.

Yea, that was most likely it.

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//Considering you have resubmitted it I thought I would just chime and give some feedback too.

I do not like the parts where you start with 'I' every sentence. It draws the eye and doesn't flow. It looks terrible and doesn't read as well as it could.

That is just me focusing with a critical eye though. It's very promising Patrick :3

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Bogdan    0

Lol thank you, and i'm aware I could definitely brush up on my grammar.


I was accepted!

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Lol thank you, and i'm aware I could definitely brush up on my grammar.


I was accepted!

// Congrats to you good sir.

I look forward to seeing you under the sea. We shall have tea and onigiri in my pineapple!

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Gullio1    0

Lol thank you, and i'm aware I could definitely brush up on my grammar.


I was accepted!

Hell yes. You definitely earned it.

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