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BaconFromHell

Second attempt at my application, could use some pointers.

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So this is what I have so far.

Sid Napier was born to wealthy parents in Scotland. He has lived his life for the most part without worry, for himself or others. He has little skill in survival even though he's been camping several times. Of course, he himself has never even set up a tent on the base of "it's my father who's the camping extraordinare, he should do the hard stuff". Even Sid had a hard time believing his own bullshit, but as it was an easy way out of extra work, he ran with it. He's even been out hunting in the Scottish highlands a few times with his father, but besides firing a few shots with his fathers hunting rifle, he has no firearm experience. Sid's parents bought their way into getting him into a small, private school, but even though he's a quick learner, he lacked the motivation to do good in school so with thousands of pounds of tuition money, he still managed to get below average grades. Sid just never found a reason to try hard at School, he was guaranteed a job in the future anyway so why bother so much?

Sadly Sid’s parents never agreed with his grades and were now pressuring him to go to get a job or move on to higher education, now seventeen Sid never wanted to leave his comfort zone so Sid tried to avoid the subject of his education as much as possible. He was looking for a reason to leave when he remembered that one of his friends from the internet had suggested that they go backpacking across Europe, Sid contacted him and booked a plane to Finland. After they met up they got a plane to Chernaraus.

Sid never liked it but he was forced to learn how to do trivial things such as set up tents, however despite his slim appearance Sid was a glutton and could eat and drink his way through most of the food supply so he was forced to so some minor hunting so they wouldn’t starve. He would ‘borrow’ weapons from travelers to help get his next meal, it was good that at least one of them could set traps because they feasted on quite a few rabbits. Sid knew that if things got too tough he could just phone his parents and get the first plane out of the country but he was beginning to enjoy his new found independence. However his journey was cut short in Chernaraus when a disease was spreading rapidly throughout the country so it was decided that foreigners were no longer safe there so they were ordered to evacuate the country. The hotel was attacked so Sid was split up with his friends, not even knowing if they survived. He wandered the country for a while before deciding he would wait out for the military, so he looted as much as he can and holed up in an abandoned home. Eventually it was breached by a looter, it was then he took his first life. He figured it wasn’t safe there. He took what he could from the house and set out into this new world.

I should probably add that I'm not looking for a best selling novel here, just something not awful.

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It's not exactly perfect in tying into my story but it's really good for someone who hasn't got that much previous experience in writing. Just work on the lenght a little bit, just in case. Put some fillers here and there.

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Gullio1    0

So this is what I have so far.

Sid Napier was born to wealthy parents in Scotland. He has lived his life for the most part without worry, for himself or others. He has little skill in survival even though he has been camping and hunting many times. He himself has never even set up a tent he has had others do it for him. His firearm experience is very limited the only experience he has is occasionally using his dads rifle. He attended a private school but even with thousands of pounds worth of resources put into his education his grades were below average.

Needless to say his parents weren’t pleased with him and were now pressuring him to go to get a job or move on to higher education, now seventeen Sid felt that things were getting strenuous with his parents so Sid was seeking a way to keep him away from them. Luckily one of his Finnish friends on the internet had been going on about going backpacking across parts of Europe for a while now so Sid contacted him and took a plane over to Finland to meet up.

Sid was forced to learn how to set up a tent with them, he learned to at least carry his weight when with other people. However his journey was cut short in Chernaraus when a disease was spreading rapidly throughout the country so it was decided that foreigners were no longer safe there so they were ordered to evacuate the country. The hotel was attacked so Sid was split up with his friends, not even knowing if they survived. He wandered the country for a while before deciding he would wait out for the military, so he looted as much as he can and holed up in an abandoned home. Eventually it was breached by a looter, it was then he took his first life. He figured it wasn’t safe there. He took what he could from the house and set out into this new world.

I should probably add that I'm not looking for a best selling novel here, just something not awful.

Very good. Only thing I can think of is that we don't know your character. We know what he's done, but not much about his personality. Elaborate on that and you should be good.

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Gullio1    0

You may be set. He even has a personality flaw as a glutton. Well done.

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Lucan    0

Great, perhaps use first person? I don't know, the other thing thing to include is any relations or strong feelings towards things such as Christianity or vegetarianism. Just a thought, couldn't hurt.

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Great, perhaps use first person? I don't know, the other thing thing to include is any relations or strong feelings towards things such as Christianity or vegetarianism. Just a thought, couldn't hurt.

Suppose I could add something like that.

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