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Guest JordansProcessor

My Application i need help

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Guest JordansProcessor   
Guest JordansProcessor

Do you guys think this background story is long enough and good enough to get accepted?

My name is Jordan I don't have much time now I am recording this from my phone and it is running out of battery and I have no signal to call any one if you find this. This is my story 2 years ago I was in college on a mechanics course so I could learn on how to fix cars, bikes and trucks a year after I left the college I decided to join the army as a tanker so i have seen a lot of combat first hand and I have had weapon training and I have also been shot in the chest luckily it didn't hit anything important a year after I left the army.

I decide to move over to Russia to start a business sell and fixing vehicles I was making a lot of money by the time I got it set up every day on the way to work I saw a man he always had a big board saying the end is near I guess he was write any way it was a normal day everything was the way it normally was customers came in I sold some cars the usual when I was driving home I saw some a couple of people one of them was chasing the other. The guy that was chasing the other guy grabbed him by the leg and he feel over and the guy started scratching him biting him I didn't want anything to do with it so I just when on my way I thought he was on drugs because a few years back there was a similar attacking in Miami and it turned out the attacker was on drugs when I got home I turned the TV on and it was all news news news. They were talking about some attacks that happened recently then suddenly the power just went off so I just went to bed.

The next day I woke up and it was so quite I got up and looked out the window and I seen army trucks they stopped outside and the soldiers started banging on every ones doors I quickly got dressed and went down to the door they said come with us so I went outside then they came they ran so fast we had no chance we just had to run I ran and ran until I saw someone that was not one of them we started running together it was like a horror movie blood every ware screaming and guns shots. We final reached the docks so we decided to swim over to Skalisty island because it would be safer.

That’s where I am today a few days ago the guy that was running with me left I didn't get his name I have no idea on where he went I think he went back to the island. Before we got on to Skalisty Island we herd some soldiers shouting get to the trade post so I think he might have went there I real am not sure. I think I will have to go back to the island very soon because I am really low on supplies.

If you ever find this I am heading to the trade post if you see me, 175cm, black hair, medium build, age 23 I am friendly! And if you are in the area come find me please like I said I am friendly we could head to the trade post together.

If you have any way to get away from here please come to the trade post and pick me up that’s if there even is a trade post I heard it was to the north east I hope the rest of the world is not like this I have to go n…

what do you guys think?

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JakeGriffin    0

First off, don't use "and I" so much and refrain from using overly long sentences. Break them up and put .'s in the appropriate spaces.

You also have a few spelling and grammar mistakes throughout. I advise fixing those up before submitting an application.

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Rolo    0

This looks pretty decent, it looks like you have though about the plot and you sound like you are really into RP.

First off, don't use "and I" so much and refrain from using overly long sentences. Break them up and put .'s in the appropriate spaces.

You also have a few spelling and grammar mistakes throughout. I advise fixing those up before submitting an application.

But you might want to listen to this as well

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