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Guest Baune

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Guest Baune   
Guest Baune

Name: Toni Virtanen

Relationship: Single

Height: 189cm

Weight: 106kg

Occupation: Woodcutter

I was born in Piippola. I worked for my uncle Arska in his sawmill. Im 26 years old.

Atte Virtanen is my brother, and our uncle is Arska.

Me and my brother were travelling to Nakkila to visit our uncle Arska.

Arska wasnt home, so we headed to his sawmill. There also wasnt anybody but we heard that he was going to Chernarussia.

We dont know why he is heading to Chernarus, but we will found the answer.

So i tried to call to Arska, but he didnt answered.

Few weeks later, we heard about a zombie infection in Chernarus and we started to be little bit worried with my brother.

We headed Russia, but going to Russia is fordibben.

So when going to Russia is illegal, we need to do it illegal.

So we "leaped" to Russia from Imatra, and headed to Chernarus with my brothers SUV.

We knew that we needed to fight versus atleast zombies, so we had some weapons with us.

Finally, when we reached the Kamenka, i drove to the roadblock and our wheels broke.

There was dozens of zombies around us, so we needed to run.

I headed to east to the Balota airstrip, but i dont know where my brother, or my uncle is.

I promise, that i will find my brother and uncle, dead or alive.

Will it cost my life? I dont know. Is my brother or uncle alive? I really dont know.

Bad grammar?

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Hyvä nähdä muitakin suomalaisia täällä, mutta muutama juttu tässä on pielessä. Kirjoitusvirheitä siellä ja täällä, muttei nyt ihan liikaa. Saisit tuota formatointia parannella hieman, älä kirjoita noin pitkää seinällistä tekstiä. Tuo toisen rivin "and our uncle is Arska" on itseääntoistavaa ensimmäiseen verrattuna ja se sun kannattaisikin poistaa. Tää tarina ei myöskään virtaa yhtään, joten parantele sitäkin hieman.

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Onionjack    0

Points mentioned above are same that I thought about. Tell also where you are coming from, Finnish town names don't tell much people who don't live here :)

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Hyvä nähdä muitakin suomalaisia täällä, mutta muutama juttu tässä on pielessä. Kirjoitusvirheitä siellä ja täällä, muttei nyt ihan liikaa. Saisit tuota formatointia parannella hieman, älä kirjoita noin pitkää seinällistä tekstiä. Tuo toisen rivin "and our uncle is Arska" on itseääntoistavaa ensimmäiseen verrattuna ja se sun kannattaisikin poistaa. Tää tarina ei myöskään virtaa yhtään, joten parantele sitäkin hieman.

wat

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Guest Jessa   
Guest Jessa

Everything looks better written from the 3rd person perspective. Just saying! ;o

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