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Am I in the Wrong? [81.17 Private Freq]

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Mercy    484

After the hours Xela was trying to overcome her now cauterised C-section, she had found a note slipped into her backpack. Her other cheek now bruised from Snake's abuse she thinks back on things when they used to be better. Her understanding of Hope's suicidal issues two years ago when she had lost Stefanie now hitting her. She holds a damp cold rag to her face, reading over the note the man had left her. Not knowing what to say or how to even say it. Her voice fully broken. The voice of Snake rewinding in her head, 'You murdered those children.' Her babies that she never got to hold... She takes the radio and presses the PTT.

"I just want to know if what you saw... was right... Monsoir?... I never wanted to do what I did... I never wanted that at all... But it was aither both me and my child... Or the child so I could survive and find my 'usband... Am I a murderer?... After trying to 'unt for food... To keep warm with a fear of fire... To make sure that no one found me in the nights or days to of come...  Am I really... That bad of a person... I never wanted to rid of my beautiful childran... but... the same time... What if I had died with them... Then Tyler would've never found me... I found myself dying... It took me 'ours to decide what was right or wrong... No one should eva 'ave to do what I did... But I would've been a pregnant women in a ditch... Dead... I burned for that man.... I loved that man after he put a gun unda my chin, let his men throw me and tackle me... headbutt me... shoot around me... Backslap me... I still loved him... Because I knew 'e was angry... But 'e never thought once... if I really one thousand percent want to do what I did aither... So... Am I a psychopath....?"

She attempts to curl up before hissing in pain, unable to move for a while, taking a few more painkillers to ease her mind and the pain.

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