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The Tale of Scott Padron {Criticism/Reviews?}

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Scott Padron. A man of few words, and many actions. Having always been quiet and collected, ever since he was young, he's used to having time 

to himself. He would often use this time to himself to contemplate life, its meaning, and how he can get the most out of it. Those who have been able to become close to Scott say speaking to him is like speaking to Muhammad. Being Cuban but born in America, he had the access to a plethora of knowledge to expand his mind. He used to be a Catholic, but after serving his country in the army, due to his desire to find himself through travel, and later being chosen after his application for SOCOM due to his brilliant mind, he developed less of a belief in God and more of a belief in mankind itself, and all of its evils and goods.

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His time in the military also helped him become more social, but he still kept much to himself. He made a friend in his unit, a woman named Ramona Brown. She shared his outlook on life and during downtime, they would often debate on various topics such as religion, politics, and what video game was more groundbreaking for which generation. He soon grew close to Ramona, and when they returned from service, decided to take things a step further. He asked her out over a dinner date, and she said yes. As they became much closer, both as people and as partners, he soon proposed. She accepted, and they decided to travel the world for their honeymoon. He chose Chernarus as their first stop, due to their presence in the campaign and soon after defeat of the Chedaki in 2009. While it reopened old scars, he thought it would be therapeutic to revisit and see if things have turned out for the better. 

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While on a hiking trip near the city of Kamensk with Ramona, Scott decided to check his phone with what little signal he had to see if there was anything new to catch or watch out for. His decision served him well, as he saw the viral videos of the outbreak all over social media. Just as he was about to tell his wife to pack up and get moving out of Chernarus, an infected grabbed her, dragged her into the woods, and practically devoured her before his very eyes. Quickly grabbing his rifle and putting a fat bullet between its eyes, he knelt before his wife who was wreathing in pain. She whispered to him "Please Scott... end me before I turn. You know how it works in those zombie movies.. ha *cough*." With tears flowing down his face, Scott granted his lover's final wish, and quickly snapped her neck before she could turn into the same monster that did this to her. While he wasn't even sure if the disease was infectious or not, he decided it was for the best to do it. "Rather be safe than sorry. God damnit Ramona, I thought we would have died old. I can't even bury your fucking body. I love you so damn much, I promise I'll make it out alive. For you." He whispered to himself as he walked away from his wife's corpse. As he quickly packed his essentials and decided to move out, he shot his now deceased wife in the heart, with his hands trembling from sorrow and rage, to ensure her death and also to attract attention away from him and more towards the noise. 

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Scott soon saw through checking his phone again at a later point in time that blockades had been set up around the borders of Chernarus, and that the whole country had been quarantined. It has been some time since that happened, and even though the quarantines have fallen, Scott fights to survive in a country unknown to him with a hole in his heart bigger than any caliber of bullet he's ever fired. He plots daily to find a way to communicate with the world outside of Chernarus and perhaps be able to travel somewhere far from Chernarus with a chance of finding other survivors, as well as a way to rebuild the world he once knew.

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Throughout Scott's travels, he's learned a few things. One, that there are absolutely demented people in this hell that he calls Chernarus. Two, that for every horrid person, there's an equally desperate person in need of a helping hand. And three, that there are those like him who still see the beauty in the goodness of the world. Scott managed to wander from his campsite in the northern part of Chernarus to the city of Elektrozavodsk, where he promptly found more food and supplies. He soon realized that he forgot the ammo to his Winchester Model 70 back at the campsite, to which his response was slapping himself on the forehead and calling himself a complete dumb ass. Given the circumstances, which he would have rather not reminded himself of, however, he's got a pretty valid excuse. He tossed his Model 70 in a corner of the room he was currently looting and instead grabbed a double-barreled shotgun with some questionable-looking ammunition for it near him. "I hate these damned things. The only guys that would use these things back in SOCOM were the same guys who couldn't tell the difference between a dude in a ghillie suit and a patch of grass" He grumbled to himself. As he decided that the city had nothing else to offer, he set his course on the nearby military base near Balota, which he remembered from his operations back during the attempted rebellion.

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As he reached Balota and begun his scavenge for better gear and maybe a vehicle, he began to hear sounds of retching and vomiting from a house nearby his current position, which was around the building with the prison cell. He rushed over to the house, only to find a gruff man keeling over in pain and anguish as bile and blood erupted from his mouth and spewed onto the wooden floor. Scott came to the man's side, helping him come to his senses. He asks the man's name and what ailed him. "My name is Booker, and I was absolutely starving so I had no choice but to eat raw meat to survive. I feel like my body is destroying itself from the inside out. Every fiber of my being aches" Grunted out the food-poisoned man. As Scott looked into Booker's eyes, he saw something that resonated with Scott himself. The look of weariness and callousness that only a man who's had the weight of the world on his shoulders could ever possess. A look that only misery begets. Scott also noticed the man's missing pinky finger and the number '120' carved into his hand. Wanting to aid the man as quickly as possible however, Scott reassures him that he'll be fine and that he himself will go and find medicine for him, lest he die in slow, agonizing pain. As he said this, the faint glimmer of hope that arose in Booker's glare gave Scott the feeling he used to have back when he'd help the kids in the village closest to his station in Afghanistan find scraps of food or water for them to bring back to their families. Knowing there was a hospital nearby in the city of Chernarus, Scott rushed to it and scoured the place, avoiding infected and unsavory characters alike. After what seemed like ages, Scott finally found two charcoal tablets in the pocket of a lab coat hidden in an office corner. Finding what he needed, he sprinted back to the same house he found Booker in. Seeing Booker barely grasping onto consciousness, he gives him the medicine and some canned foods. After taking the medicine and desperately consuming the canned foods, Booker looked upon Scott like an angel sent down from heaven. And for all of you religious folk, it was more like a heavenly sight rather than how grotesque angels can usually look like to mortals. After Booker made his recovery, he decided to get moving to where he was originally headed for. “Hey Scott. Mind if I propose something to you?” he questioned. “Nah Booker, go ahead” replied Scott. “I was headed to Stary Sobor to go and meet up with the leaders of a group called The Grey Fangs. They’re this good-natured group who wants to do something about all the evil that’s festered in the lands of Chernarus. From what I’ve seen, you’re more than suitable enough for their ranks. Would you like to tag along?” Never being much of a group kind of guy, but concerned more for the safety of his new friend rather than the admittance of a renowned group, Scott accepts. “Sure man, I haven’t really got anywhere to be. Let’s get moving, it’s getting dark soon.” Within the hour, they were already far off from the near grave site of Booker and closer towards their new destination. 

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As Booker and Scott continued on their long and tedious path to the city of Stary Sobor, they shared the tales of their lives. Booker told Scott of his time in the Navy SEALS and all the things Booker saw on his tour of duty. Scott, in turn, told Booker of what it was to be part of SOCOM (protocol and secrecy be damned, it’s practically the apocalypse in Chernarus) and how he met his wife, Ramona Brown. They bonded heavily over the trip, the two having more in common than anyone they had ever shared connections with prior. As they arrived to their destination, they saw the heavily geared convoy of the Grey Fangs. Scott and Booker soon enough sat down and conversed with the leaders, after the perimeter was secured. While they considered Scott an amazing person for saving Booker’s life, they sadly had no more space for new recruits. Understanding this, and not really being in the trip for the sake of joining anyway, he told them it was fine and shook Booker’s hand as he bid him farewell, hoping to see him again in the near future. A hunch told him he would, and his business with the Fangs was not concluded just yet. Scott soon opened his map and set his sights upon the large military camp just northwest of their position. Packing up his map and un-holstering his shotgun, he set out on another arduous journey across the no-man’s land known as Chernarus to a place where he may finally be reunited with a means of stable communication with the outside world. 

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On his way to the large airfield, Scott arrived in the city of Kabanino, relatively uninhabited and scarcely supplied. Not deciding to loot the town, Scott strolls through the town, unaware of what’s to come. On his stroll, his foot brushes up against a backpack tossed about in the middle of the road. Being curious and in lust for new loot, he opened the backpack only to see pure horror. In the pack, there were slabs of strange meat, presumably human. Relatively fresh as well. To Scott’s surprise, he found a new pair of never-worn boots in the horrid coagulation of disgust. Doing his best not to have it touch the human meat, Scott gets the boots out of the backpack and puts them on, loving how they feel. Remembering his overhearing of a certain group who loves to leave human flesh lying about to trap people from Booker, he continues his stroll out of town, but at a much faster pace. On his way, however, he got sidetracked due to his mind being preoccupied on the subject of having to fight off potential cannibals with nothing but an old shotgun, he took the wrong road and ended up taking a dirt path to the Vybor Military Camp. Deciding the best course of action would be to take a bit of respite and loot the place, he opened up the doors to the barracks and found some pristine fatigues that seemed to fit him perfectly, for some reason (DayZ logic). Just as he was getting ready to get moving, a young man approached the entrance.

Seeming friendly enough, Scott decided to talk to him and find out what brought him here. Learning that he was just a wandering soul with an aim to only survive, Scott decided to share the fact that he used to be in the U.S Army Special Forces, due to the young man being a fellow American and also because of the fact he had an M4 that Scott desperately needed. The kid, as if by a miracle, gave Scott the M4 with a modified buttstock and handguard, as well as an ACOG sight with two 60 round magazines, fully stocked with ammunition. Thanking the young man immensely, Scott decided to give the kid his shotgun with all of his shells in exchange for the young man’s generosity, as well as offer him any food and water he needed. Taking the shotgun but rejecting the food and water, the young man decided to take his leave. “I ought to get going. By the way, what’s your name man?” asked the young man. “My name’s Scott. What’s yours?” replied Scott. “The name’s Jordan. I hope to see you around soon.” Nodding in mutual agreement with Jordan, Scott took off and decided to recheck his map and actually found the right path towards the airfield. Arriving there after some odd minutes, he makes quick work of looting the airfield, picking up ammunition and supplies, as well as encountering a few other lost souls along the way. Seeing that dusk was steadily approaching, Scott found an indistinguishable spot to make camp for the night. Slowly nodding off to sleep, he kept his M4 in close reach, ready at a moment’s notice to defend his right to live. 

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Mary    51

I think this is a very good read, but the way you chose to present it makes it scary to approach. It looks like a cluster and because of that is difficult to approach. I would try "chopping it up a bit and perhaps putting in some images. It will make it more accessible for the reader. It seems to be a shallow piece of advice, but it does have an impact on how people read.

Keep at it, it is a good job!

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I enjoyed it, but some things didnt really seem realisic to me. For one, why would he snap his wifes neck instead of shooting her. That would be so much more devastating due to the close nature. He almost seemed unaffected by such a thing. Another thing is how fast everything happened. It happened fast, yeah, but over a few weeks.

I dont mean to criticize everything and that is for sure not what I am trying to do. In fact I really enjoyed this read. I hope I can see you in game some time as well. Keep up the good work for sure bud

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I think this is a very good read, but the way you chose to present it makes it scary to approach. It looks like a cluster and because of that is difficult to approach. I would try "chopping it up a bit and perhaps putting in some images. It will make it more accessible for the reader. It seems to be a shallow piece of advice, but it does have an impact on how people read.

Keep at it, it is a good job!

Thank you, I wrote this in the wee hours of the morning, so I wasn't at optimal capacity, but I appreciate your criticism!

I enjoyed it, but some things didnt really seem realisic to me. For one, why would he snap his wifes neck instead of shooting her. That would be so much more devastating due to the close nature. He almost seemed unaffected by such a thing. Another thing is how fast everything happened. It happened fast, yeah, but over a few weeks.

I dont mean to criticize everything and that is for sure not what I am trying to do. In fact I really enjoyed this read. I hope I can see you in game some time as well. Keep up the good work for sure bud

Thank you, after reading over it I agree with you. I rushed it a bit too quickly, but that was due to various factors. I hope to see you in game as well, stay safe friend.

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Rocco    34

Just remember the story you create in the beginning is only half the part, if even that. When you get into game remember that the story you present there matters more then the one presented here.

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Just remember the story you create in the beginning is only half the part, if even that. When  you get into game remember that the story you present there matters more then the one presented here.

I haven't really experienced much in game besides finding a guy who needed a spark plug lol. But I'll keep this in mind when updating my story. Thank you

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Rocco    34

Just remember the story you create in the beginning is only half the part, if even that. When  you get into game remember that the story you present there matters more then the one presented here.

I haven't really experienced much in game besides finding a guy who needed a spark plug lol. But I'll keep this in mind when updating my story. Thank you

when I say the story is in the game I mean develop your character the way you see fit. So for example you gave that guy a spark plug and that makes me think your a nice guy, its the little things that really build a character.

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Just remember the story you create in the beginning is only half the part, if even that. When  you get into game remember that the story you present there matters more then the one presented here.

I haven't really experienced much in game besides finding a guy who needed a spark plug lol. But I'll keep this in mind when updating my story. Thank you

when I say the story is in the game I mean develop your character the way you see fit. So for example you gave that guy a spark plug and that makes me think your a nice guy, its the little things that really build a character.

I see. I'll keep this insight. Thank you for your thoughts.

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I think this is a very good read, but the way you chose to present it makes it scary to approach. It looks like a cluster and because of that is difficult to approach. I would try "chopping it up a bit and perhaps putting in some images. It will make it more accessible for the reader. It seems to be a shallow piece of advice, but it does have an impact on how people read.

Keep at it, it is a good job!

Thank you, I wrote this in the wee hours of the morning, so I wasn't at optimal capacity, but I appreciate your criticism!

I enjoyed it, but some things didnt really seem realisic to me. For one, why would he snap his wifes neck instead of shooting her. That would be so much more devastating due to the close nature. He almost seemed unaffected by such a thing. Another thing is how fast everything happened. It happened fast, yeah, but over a few weeks.

I dont mean to criticize everything and that is for sure not what I am trying to do. In fact I really enjoyed this read. I hope I can see you in game some time as well. Keep up the good work for sure bud

Thank you, after reading over it I agree with you. I rushed it a bit too quickly, but that was due to various factors. I hope to see you in game as well, stay safe friend.

I tend to do the same thing sometimes. I know I did that with my first whitelist app at the very least. Nice job though, I personally think you have put in more though than some people have.

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d3r3k    1

I had actually carried spare parts to offer in those types of situations..but inventory space is valuable. Now I just offer help if needed or a meal since ill cook and keep a few pieces with me. I hope to run into good people most of the time, perhaps even Scott.... with a few bad apples here and there to make it interesting :)

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Rocco    34

I haven't really experienced much in game besides finding a guy who needed a spark plug lol. But I'll keep this in mind when updating my story. Thank you

when I say the story is in the game I mean develop your character the way you see fit. So for example you gave that guy a spark plug and that makes me think your a nice guy, its the little things that really build a character.

I see. I'll keep this insight. Thank you for your thoughts.

welcome

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I had actually carried spare parts to offer in those types of situations..but inventory space is valuable. Now I just offer help if needed or a meal since ill cook and keep a few pieces with me. I hope to run into good people most of the time, perhaps even Scott.... with a few bad apples here and there to make it interesting :)

I hope I run into you too, friend. And food always ends up being more valuable anyways lol

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I've updated the story, and edited a few things. I'll most likely have to make a separate post on this thread if the story gets to be too long for one post. I'd love for you all to give it a read and tell me what you think.

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Good job on the story man! I like how you included my character and our ventures ;)

Thanks man! It means a lot, your RP was great too!

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