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Jowad Berekdar

Murphy's Law; DayZRP Laws

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A list of Murphy's Laws for DayZ. Feel free to add some yourself!

[spoiler=The Laws]

- You only need an item after you throw it away

- The chance of you getting robbed is inversely proportional to how many people you have robbed

- Protection vests - will not

- There is always a KoSer on server

- Everything good is happening on the other server

- The game will bug out when you least want it to

- The situational awareness of a group is inversely proportional to the amount of hostiles watching

- Supressors - Dont

- Friendly fire - isnt

- If your attack is going really well, its an ambush

- No plan ever survives first contact

- Waterproof clothes - arent

- Any item of importance that you drop will glitch out

- The one scope that works for you is damaged

- Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing

- The one caliber you need is no longer spawning

- If you have extra food, you will never get hungry enough. If you dont pack enough, you will immediately be hungry

- GM is devoid of bandits untill you get there

- All whitenames are the lone survivors of a plane crash

- The new update will erase your character

- The man you just walked away from is about to shoot you

- No one is around to see you pull off a cool shot

- Everyone is around to see you fuck up the RP

- Zombies dont exist until you run out of ammo

- You are always one slot short when you need it

- You only run out of rags when the whole squad is bleeding

- Your VOIP is stuck on

- When you have a sniper rifle, all your initiations become close range

- When you have an UMP, all your initiations happen across a large open field

- The Admin have two rules: 1) The Admin are always right 2) If the admin are not right, rule 1 immediately takes place [JK love u admin dont ban<3]

- The evidence for the report are in the two minutes you failed to record

- The more inventory space you have, the more useless items you have and the less vital items you carry

- Drybags - arent

- The first aid kit has everything you dont need

- When you are using a light-source, the person you run into is using GammaGoggles, and vice-versa

- Your sewing kits get ruined just before you really need them

- Netting only exists when you arent looking for it

- A person with a sawed-off mosin is not to be trusted

- The knife is pristine untill you need to skin and quarter something. Thats when it's damaged.

- The meat you cooked will get you sick

- If they claim to be a good shot, they arent

- The one person handling overwatch is not paying attention

- The improvised supressor will break one shot before you need it

- The better the items you have, the more likely it is that you will die randomly

- Never stand still on a stairway. You will die.

- You will accidentaly press "v" only when you are close to a ledge or during intense RP

- You have a 50% chance of hitting F1 instead of F2 and dying

- You never read the text initiation untill its too late

- Your group idea is always too generic or already done

- The cooked meat they fed you is human meat

- Female charachters are actually guys 90% of the time

- The link in Rolle's signature can really help you with your complaints

- The rate at which your question is seen by Helpers is inversly proportional to how quickly you need it answered

- The blood bag is never compatible with your blood type

- The thing you just did makes you sick in the latest patch

- The good RP starts the moment you log out, and ends when you log in

- The heli crash site is already looted

- The person with the SVD or VSS is always trigger-happy

- The moment you pick up a Mosin, you only find the SKS ammo. The moment you pick up an SKS, you only find Mosin ammo

- You are always zeroed too high or too low

- You only find good hunting ground in The Wolves' territory

- They are always too busy to RP with you, except for when you are too busy to RP with them

- Some people still "spawn"

- The distance between you and an item is directly proportional to how  much you want/need that item

- The attatchments you find never work for your weapon

- The gear you dont want is pristine, the gear you need is damaged

- Only swap worn items for pristine items when no one is watching. Your character cant tell the difference

- Most medical RPers suck at medical RP 

- Most people RPing an East-European character have a shit fake accent

- The people your life depends on have no game experience

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The only time Murphy's law works for me is when it fucks me over.

What can go wrong will go wrong!

*steps out onto street, takes deep breath; RKO'ed by V3S*

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