Indecisive Identities

[Aiko]

[mp3]http://puu.sh/oZTxw/05c33dba67.mp3[/mp3]

“Twinkle...twinkle little star…..how I wonder what you are...up above the world so high...like a diamond in the sky...” Her voice was soft as she sang to herself, in her tiny room. Sitting in the corner next to the window, her favorite stuffed kitten in her lap. Her small hands covering her ears, blocking out the yelling that was going on in the other room. The only way she could do that, was when she was singing. It helped a lot, more than anything. Along with Miss Buttercup, everything would be fine. They yelled for a while about things Lilly didn’t really understand, things that didn’t make sense. She would hear small things, through the pauses of the songs she would sing.

“IF YOU WOULD STOP DRINKING! YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!” Mom would yell, and sometimes she could hear things being thrown against the wall of her room.

“WELL IF YOU WEREN'T SLEEPING WITH SOMEONE ELSE! I WOULDN'T HAVE TO DRINK!” Dad would yell at mom, it was never ending at night sometimes.

Lilly preferred when mom was not home at night, it was quiet at least. Dad would be sad...but Lilly was ok at making him smile a little on those nights. Depending how much he had to drink, out of those bottles that often littered the floor by the TV. The nights where he had more than ten around the TV, is when she hid in her room playing with her toys. Knowing that dad wouldn’t want to talk to her, he would yell at her instead.

“Twinkle….twinkle little star..how I-” Suddenly her body was jerked up from where she was sitting in her corner. Her arm grabbed tightly in her mother's hand, as she began to drag her out of her room. Thankfully, she had Buttercup with her. It helped, as she held the small stuffed black cat to her chest. This was different, usually they would yell and mom would just leave. Then Lilly could finally go back to sleep, and disappear into her happy place.

“Lilly come on we are leaving, you are never...ever going to see your dad again!” Lilly felt her body tense, as she shook her head. “But mommy…”

Suddenly her other arm was grabbed making her drop her stuffed cat, which fell to the floor. Her dad holding tightly to Lilly’s other arm. “Don't you dare take Lilly from me you bitch!” He tugged and Lilly winced as she felt he limb’s stretch. “Don't tell me I cant take my daughter with me! She likes me more anyway you asshole!” Her mother tugged, and Lilly cried out softly at the pain that swept through her arms each time. “Mommy….daddy...your hurting me…” Lilly said softly, too soft for them to hear though. “SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU! YOU ARE NEVER HERE TO DO ANYTHING FOR HER ANYWAY!”

They continued bickering, yelling at each other. Pulling and screaming, unaware of the pain they were forcing on their child. Both physical and mental, until something happened. With a sickening loud pop, and a loud pitched scream of pain. As her shoulder was pulled out of its socket….

Lilly bolted up right with a scream of her own, not the three year old. This was Lilly now...in the present day. Laying in a abandoned bed, with no sheets to use for heat. Simply using any jackets she could find at the time, with a few rays of light shining through the broken window panes. Tears leaking down her cheeks, her shoulder feeling a little tingly. As if feeling what happened still, but it was just a dream right?

“Shhh….Lilly its ok...I am here for you. Always, when no one else is darling. Me and you...always alone, but we are not really are we?” This sensual voice echoed in her head. Making Lilly nod as she looked around, no one around as usual...no one…

“Let me help Lilly….help to forget."  With that Lilly nodded, “Help me forget..” Darkness took her mind and the memories that quickly faded into nothing. Nothing...it felt peaceful…this darkness…

Siren stretched her arms above her head, with a wicked smile on her lips. Her fingers clipping on her deep blood red helmet. Happy to face the oncoming day.

[oklama]

Beautiful writing, Aiko!

Cannot wait for more!

[Lucky1911]

Love It Aiko!!

[Chief]

Nice story... harpy temptress

[Mademoiselle]

"Hello Darrrrrling."

- Siren 2k15

[Sofie]

Amazing read, horrible parents.

You really capture my attention with the way you write.

[Aiko]

Thanks everyone. More to come later.

[Aiko]

[mp3]http://puu.sh/pgu5q/f1b120ae5c.mp3[/mp3]

It was nice being out again, able to smell the fresh air without a care in the world. Flirt with who she wanted, threatened who she wanted. It was a beautiful life for Siren, especially now that she had found Luke again. Only to be sad to know, that Rin was nowhere to be found. Because honestly, out of the two. Rin was fun, and very willing to try different things. Then again, Siren was more for boys than girls.

Yet, someone more fun had shown in the time she had been gone. Luke had gotten more friends, and more friends meant more people to fuck with. In general, a boy by the name Scottie. He was fun, because of how much he was scared of her. Sure, she had a thing for kids. Yet, he always seemed to upset her in ways she couldn’t explain.

Like now, as he ran around making silly noises that he didn’t need to make. The sounds of cars, and then police sirens. The constant sound of the alarm going, weewoooweeewooo….

WEEEWOO...The flashing blue, red, and white lights were outside her window again. They showed up more often now that mommy was gone, and daddy was out late at night. The pretty lights were there, and it usually made her happy. Because then daddy would be home, they always brought him home. Maybe ,he wouldn’t be too drunk to talk to this time. Hopefully she could watch some cartoons with him.

Lilly peaked out of her room, to the front door. Which opened showing two policemen, and a woman with blond hair in a tight bun. This wasn’t the same as usual, the police usually would bring daddy to the door. Who was the woman here? They approached her door, and the lady smiled kindly at her. Yet something in her eyes, it made Lilly frown. Backing into her room a little more.

“Hello sweetie, I am Susie what's your name?” This didn’t feel right to Lilly, as she twiddled her fingers. “L-Lilly…where is daddy?” Was the first thing that came from the small girl’s mouth. And the lady frowned a little, and knelt down to be eye level with Lilly.

“Sweetie, daddy isn’t going to be around anymore. But I know some friends of mine you can stay with, until we find you a new mommy and daddy.” The lady held her hand out to Lilly, who backed up shaking her head. “I don’t want a new mommy and daddy!”

The lady frowned but with a quick just gentle grab, she took Lilly by the shoulders leading her out to the squad car. “Wait! I need Buttercup please!” Lilly cried out, struggling to get back to the house. The lady disregarded her, and continued on to the car. Where she opened the door, placing Lilly in the back. Without her always there for her stuffed cat, tears streaming down her cheeks as she wiggled the doorknob. Trying to get out of the car, as they drove off...sirens blaring weeewoooewwweoooo….

Siren glared through her tinted helmet visor at Scottie, but smirked as she walked a little closer to him. Whispering in her dark seductive voice. “Hows your dad Scottie…” She giggled with a deep smirk on her lips.

[Chief]

interesting edition.. will continue to silently acknowledge your grand writing

[Frosty]

Wow this is awesome! Love the emotion in these! 10/10

[Brodie]

Great read, really enjoying this so far, please keep this going!

[Aiko]

[mp3]http://puu.sh/pmc3U/22d28505b2.mp3[/mp3]

“Dude...you just need to relax, and forget about all that stressful stuff. Nothing matters really….” Jaylin said, in a very  monotone voice seeming uninterested in things all together. In fact, she couldn’t even remember where she was or how she got there. Then again, with the drugs she took it was a wonder she remembered anything. Especially this man next to her, who seemed to always be around. What was his name again...oh ya Luke.

Then this manly looking chick, who was glaring daggers at her. Well, if she didn’t want to be called manly then she shouldn’t have short hair like that. Now what was her name….it was Iva something or another. Jay looked at her a little, trying to remember then it clicked as all three of them jogged through the fields. “Hey Ivona Humpalot, you need to like relax too. I can find some nice stuff for both you, and we can just forget about things you know.” Jay nodded to herself, liking the thought of just forgetting and letting things fade into nothing.

“Sure Sweetie…” That word...it caused her mind to scream out in anger, Jay didn’t understand the anger. Yet, it was there all the same. With the anger, came the voices crying and screaming in her head. Blackness swimming at the corner of her vision.

“Please….don't call me that...I am not that...please…stop..” This small child like voice echoed through her mind. It was scared...sad…..hiding deep inside. Her crying...it was heart wrenching. 

“Make it stop! I hate that word! T-They told her not too!” Screamed out another voice, annoyed and angry. But there was an underlying fear that quaked, as her voice echoed next.

“THAT FUCKING BITCH! SHE GOING TO GET IT!” This voice was the loudest, and the angry one. There was no ounce of fear, and the anger boiled. Simmering until it overtook the body, and blinding rage. “How dare she call me Sweetie…!”

Darkness….that was all there was in this room, in the dark she could no longer see her nice room. Pink and yellow painted walls, doll house in the corners, and her large toy chest in the corner. At night….in the dark..it all turned into something scary, at any moment they could come alive and attack her. This is what went through Lilly’s head, as she laid in bed late at night. In her fourth new home, the worst one..

With every small creak of the house, she would tense up and listen. This happened every night, in the dark room she had. It was more like a prison she could never escape from. When she wanted out, to hide somewhere no one could find her anymore. A peaceful place, quiet and full of life. Lilly frowned and she covered her head with a fluffy pink blanket. When the sound of the door opened to her room, no light entered her room it was pitch dark. When she heard a voice close to her bed, it was deep a man's voice.

“Ready to play sweetie…”

Siren took in a few deep breaths, as she stood over Ivona the anger and rage still inside of her. Not remembering even punching Ivona, but she was glad she was out. Laying still on the ground, looking to be down for the count.  As her fingers twitched to grab her knife. Her eyes glaring hoping the girl would stay out, and gone.

“Try saying that again...and we will see what happens Sweetie!” Siren laughed a little at this, as she watched Ivona walk away holding her jaw.

[oklama]

Nice read! That was a pretty intense day for Ivona! May she Rest In Pieces

[Aiko]

“Ready or not! Here I come!” There was a sweet giggle that escaped a blond haired little girl, it was said she had the sweetest laugh. Well...to Lilly it was..

It was so sweet, infections even. That she wanted to giggle with her, to be with her and experience that laugh again. Though, Lilly was hiding and giggling would only give her away. Sadly, her mind was fogged it felt as if this wasn’t real.

“I found you Flower!” Yelled the blond little girl, as she poked Lilly in the side. Making her giggle as well, both of them in a fit of laughing. “Yes you did...you found me Poppy…”

The fog bogged down her mind, her dream, her memory. As another slowly surfaced, one that was foreign to Lilly. As if she was looking onto a memory, one that she had no recollection of.

“Now Poppy..I told you time, and time again. When you play ball inside of the house, you might break something.” Lilly could see it, it was hazy. Was a vase that was shattered on the ground, and Poppy...she was crying. No...she couldn’t cry, it wasn’t right. No one made Poppy cry..

“She didn’t do it I did, and I would be very happy if you left her alone…” Lilly spoke, but that was not like her voice it was darker. Dangerous even, as this foreign Lilly put her arm around Poppy. Glaring at the man that spoke to her like that, and he seemed startled as well. Her..foster dad, he was startled that Lilly spoke to him as such...but…

The fog came back, putting her mind and memories adrift. Until she was somewhere else, in a place where blood ran over the tiled kitchen floor. Screaming….blood..and her foster dad standing over, the blond girl. Over Poppy….with Poppy’s blood everywhere!

Lilly gasped awake, her eyes dilated and body shaking. Her hands coming to cover her eyes now, as she shakes her head back and forth. “Fuck…!” She let a soft sob escape her lips, her mind still fogged up. She didn’t want to be here….and...and..

“I dont want to be here either! Do you fucking think I like seeing her...her…” Siren for one of the only times...when by herself let a sniffle and a few tears escape her eyes. “her dead…”

“Dude….that was some sweet drugs I must of took...man…” Jay laughed shaking her head a little, as she got up ready to face the day. Not really caring for much, except the high, and how it made her feel and nothing else...

[Medvedev]

Now that all four known personalities are on the table things really start to get interesting now.

Keep it up!

[Hassan]

Whateverrr Duuude

Nice shit, Keep em' coming

[Frosty]

Amazing job Aiko! Love how you write these! Keep um coming

[Aiko]

It was decided, by many of the people in this fucked up family. That a place to call home was needed, and Lilly couldn’t agree more. A place to call her own, to relax for a while would be nice. A place that everyone could be safe, and be an actual family. Something that seemed to always be out of her reach, family.

Everyone spoke of it around her, like they were one. Something was missing from this family though, something she couldn’t put her finger on. It was close, but there was a deep void. One that she had no idea how to fill it. As she quietly walked around their new home, a summer camp. It was peaceful, unlike her mind filled with thoughts of what could be missing still. What was making her unwhole.

As Lilly walked, her eyes wondered over the many things in the camp. To the small cottages where everyone slept, to the blue clinic that she was using if she needed to help anyone. There was one thing that made her stop and look at for a while, it was a small merry-go-round. With yellow and red bars, she wondered what it sounded like before. Imagine the laughing of children, as they ran around the camp in the summer. Children laughing…. the sweetness of it…

“Children will be impossible for you Miss. Winters, the reason you are having these pains are because you have somehow ruptured your Fallopian tubes. Here and here..” The doctor spoke, using a finger to outline a x-ray of Lilly’s pelvis. His finger going to his glasses, pushing them up as he continued. As her social worker, Susie sat close by with a sad look on her face.

“You will need surgery to remove them completely, or the pain will only get worse. Along with bleeding, and lead to long term problems.” He spoke to Lilly, but mainly to Susie who was nodding.

Lilly sat there on the steel cold table, in nothing but a blue gown. She was only 13 now, but she understood everything that the doctor was saying. Down to the last detail, and it made her feel sick to her stomach. As she remembered the initial pain, having fallen off the side of a slid at the playground. Right onto a wooden stake, in the ground. Which was part of the whole play area. The pain as it hit her pelvis, having broke a bit of her pelvic bone as well.

It hurt a lot...

We were...just playing...like all the other kids...

All the kids were doing the same thing! Why US!

“Its ok we will pay for it, just get them removed so the pain is gone hmm Lilly?” Susie said with a forced smile. “I mean...you can always adopt in the future. Adopt someone like yourself, huh? Just think of it that way…”

Numb….that is all she felt...would it be easier...to just...not be alive...as a single tear rolled down her cheek. She was broken….no one could fix her...no one...

Lilly brought her hand up, and quickly wiped the tears away, happy no one was around to watch those tears. Tears...that all of them shared that day, the day Lilly stopped laughing with childlike sweetness...

[Frosty]

It was decided, by many of the people in this fucked up family. That a place to call home was needed, and Lilly couldn’t agree more. A place to call her own, to relax for a while would be nice. A place that everyone could be safe, and be an actual family. Something that seemed to always be out of her reach, family.

Everyone spoke of it around her, like they were one. Something was missing from this family though, something she couldn’t put her finger on. It was close, but there was a deep void. One that she had no idea how to fill it. As she quietly walked around their new home, a summer camp. It was peaceful, unlike her mind filled with thoughts of what could be missing still. What was making her unwhole.

As Lilly walked, her eyes wondered over the many things in the camp. To the small cottages where everyone slept, to the blue clinic that she was using if she needed to help anyone. There was one thing that made her stop and look at for a while, it was a small merry-go-round. With yellow and red bars, she wondered what it sounded like before. Imagine the laughing of children, as they ran around the camp in the summer. Children laughing…. the sweetness of it…

“Children will be impossible for you Miss. Winters, the reason you are having these pains are because you have somehow ruptured your Fallopian tubes. Here and here..” The doctor spoke, using a finger to outline a x-ray of Lilly’s pelvis. His finger going to his glasses, pushing them up as he continued. As her social worker, Susie sat close by with a sad look on her face.

“You will need surgery to remove them completely, or the pain will only get worse. Along with bleeding, and lead to long term problems.” He spoke to Lilly, but mainly to Susie who was nodding.

Lilly sat there on the steel cold table, in nothing but a blue gown. She was only 13 now, but she understood everything that the doctor was saying. Down to the last detail, and it made her feel sick to her stomach. As she remembered the initial pain, having fallen off the side of a slid at the playground. Right onto a wooden stake, in the ground. Which was part of the whole play area. The pain as it hit her pelvis, having broke a bit of her pelvic bone as well.

It hurt a lot...

We were...just playing...like all the other kids...

All the kids were doing the same thing! Why US!

“Its ok we will pay for it, just get them removed so the pain is gone hmm Lilly?” Susie said with a forced smile. “I mean...you can always adopt in the future. Adopt someone like yourself, huh? Just think of it that way…”

Numb….that is all she felt...would it be easier...to just...not be alive...as a single tear rolled down her cheek. She was broken….no one could fix her...no one...

Lilly brought her hand up, and quickly wiped the tears away, happy no one was around to watch those tears. Tears...that all of them shared that day, the day Lilly stopped laughing with childlike sweetness...

Awesome job on this one... Made me sad

[Sparky]

This was a very fun read I hope to see more from you!

Talent 10/10

[Aiko]

Thanks for the kind words everyone! Lilly's story isn't the happiest. But there are some happy parts, which will come later.

[Leonard Church]

Love the emotions it is very powerful, Keep up the great work!

[Wolfe]

Great writing! Definitely draws you in as a reader. Can't wait to see what's next.

[Aiko]

It hurt...everywhere, and it seemed like it would never end. The pain of life, and all the things that sucked so much about it. Like a boy...a innocent boy, tortured and beaten up. Like a girl..who didn’t get a fair chance at life, dying so young. Father’s losing their daughters, and blaming themselves for it. A man fighting for the one he loves, but never ever able to reach her. A woman, finding love finally after years of searching. Only..for that love to die...but still linger. 

“It hurt...they wouldn't stop, I begged them to stop...why didn’t they…” Scottie cried as he held onto a stuffed dog that reminded Lilly so much of Buttercup...that it was painful.

Daddy...why did you hurt me…” echoed a sad voice inside Lilly’s head. “why did you hurt me…”

Lilly had no idea what to do, two things were happening right now. Both of them hard to handle at the same time. Scottie had been taken by the clowns, and hurt badly. It reminded her of things, that she buried deep inside of her. Lilly did all she could to help him, but what he was going through it was too much like her own problems. She couldn’t help someone, when she couldn’t even help herself.

“Scottie...you have to try and get over your fear. I know a girl, younger than you, who conquered her fear of the dark…” Winter spoke, and that was the second problem. His voice alone tore at the fragile ends of her heart, unraveling the stitches she had put there. Just...being close to him hurt…

“I cant! The clowns are scary! I am scared..” Scottie continued crying, rocking with his teddy close to his heart.

“I am scared...Winter...I dont want to be alone in the dark..” Poppy cried as she sat in the corner of a shed, with Winter crouching in front of her.

“But...a Princess Knight has to face her fears...can you do that?” She didn’t want to, but she trusted him, that the dark wouldn’t hurt her. So she nodded.

“Remember Poppy, even when you dont see your friends there. They are always with you…I will be with you…” Winter lead her out of the shed, into the darkness…

Lilly let out a shaky breath, her eyes going to Scottie. Then back to Winter, as he tried helping make Scottie feel better. He promised….so many time, that he would never leave her. Why did he...why did everything have to hurt!

“He...used to make me feel better….he used to be a good daddy…”  This tiny soft voice spoke, with a gentle sniffle. “He left us….”

“Those clown mother fuckers are going to die! For hurting Scottie, for hurting all the people they ever hurt. I am going to make them wish they were dead!”

This angry voice screamed in her mind.

Lilly let another deep breath escape her, as her fists clenched tight inside her coat. Her mind at war, trying to decide to be sad or angry. It was confusing, like a roller coaster with no place to stop and get off.

“Listen Scottie, I know someone who has been through just as much as you. In the end, she came out stronger, would you like to know who that is?” Lilly felt her emotions dip again, as Winter spoke of her. Like she was some kind of hero, and in reality she was weak...broken…

“Right here in front of you, Lilly has been through so much.  Yet she is still here, and faced her fears.” Lilly felt her heart clench, she just wanted to disappear. No one ever should want to be like her, no one should go through what she had.

“Because it all hurt….every last thing…he hurt us…”

“They all hurt us…”

“It will never...go away.. will it…?”

It is everywhere the hurt, it comes hidden in other things. It’s a lone soldier, unsure of why he still fights. When his brothers and sisters in arms died...for nothing. It's a man watching his loved one dying slowly in front of his eyes, and he has no idea how to save her. Hurt..is a man...who lets his love go, to see if she can fly on her own….only to see her fall…

Will it ever...stop?

[Jm Von Cat]

Welp, this is going down the rabbit hole aint it?

Interesting so far, if not slightly confusing.... but that is part of the interest, you have to think to understand ^.^