James Bonluff's Journal

[DatBlueWolf]

James Bonluff's Journal

*On the Inside Cover*

My name is James Bonluff.

I've been trapped here since the start.

All I've had is my route and routine to keep me company.

If you find this journal please learn from my mistakes.

Help those around you. Make this world a better place.

*The First Page*

[video=youtube]

11/22/15

Woke up from another blackout on the south coast. Somewhere between Cherno and Elektro. Blue is nowhere to be seen, as usual.

Started going along the usual route to the East. Settling back into the routine. Grab food. Grab Water. Make rope. Get sticks. Get bow.

Good. All set until I get something better at least.

Elektro is quiet... Way too quiet. Move on to Kamy before the sun goes down. Kamy is quiet too...

Still can't find any burlap to get a quick bag together. Frustrating...

Skip Tulga, not feeling like hiking today/tonight. Jeez the sun's setting fast. Onward to 3 Valleys and then Solnichney.

Still no goddamn burlap and it's already dark. Found a house with locked doors. Empty, but ripped up bloodbags in the fireplace and bloodstains leading to the closet. Leave quietly.

Settled in for the night.... Fucking burlap...

11/23/15

Late start today. Slept longer than I meant to.

Blue still MIA. Found some guns. Mostly .22's but they'll do in a pinch. Amphibia is one of Blue's favorites, quiet and always plenty of ammo for it. Trumpet's a piece of garbage, but I've got the rounds so I might as well keep it to do some target practice.

North to the factory and berezino. Still quiet. Buildings have some clothing but nothing special. Finally find burlap. Bag made, day made.

Wandering... Not sticking with routine. Lost in the woods. Think I found Gorka though. Ran into a real strange dude. All black and skull mask. Damn near shit myself. Was neutral, no trouble, just passing through. I wander my way back to the coast. Stick to what you know...

Found my way to the Berezino police station. Got bored and made some Christmas lights. Looked real nice. Went to the beach to watch the sunrise...

Hear a voice. Someone at the police station. Man all in green with a SMG... oddly enough bright orange backpack. Heavy load, looks like a packrat.

He's kept the gun down. Good choice. I could almost hear Blue twitching in anticipation. Turns out he's a nice dude. Named Merry/Murry.

Also turns out he's sick. Hospitals don't have meds he needs. I take him south back to the factory where there's a small med house. Sadly nothing there.

He keeps losing his vision. I whip up a fire and some clean water to keep him conscious and calm. Swap some stories. He starts feeling better.

He's a fairly quiet guy. I talk too much. Trying to get him to open up. Turns out he almost shot me, but didn't. Bright colors and weapons on the back do wonders to keep a man calm apparently.

I show him the route and routine. Teach him a few tricks to travel light. He likes the idea. Turns out he was carrying ammo for ten guns and carrying three or four. Too damn heavy, no wonder he was struggling.

We keep walking till we get to elektro. Sun going down again. Fuck winter. I settle in for the night at the church. He chooses the hospital.

11/24/15

Wake up. Check gear. Check for Blue. Not here. Good. Means things are quiet.

Limber up to get ready for the routine. Passing the police station and I hear Merry again. Turns out he's still alive and kicking.

He got accosted by Black Sky bandits while he was waking up. Shot up two of em. Rest got him to surrender and took his compass and suppressors. Looks like I gotta be the guide.

Blue starts seeping in. Vengeance gets him twitching too. Bloody thoughts and memories of his bloody hands. Oddly enough red suits him.

The bandits said they were going north. Merry knows the name of the place begins with a V and then garbled russian. Not helpful. We go back to routine.

Get him a smaller bag and better duds. They say they'll kill him if they see him again. Cowboy hats for both of us. Stylin'.

Take him to Tulga. Get a hunting rifle. Blue left him a message in one of the houses. Says he'll be paying a visit. Since Merry is still alive it's at least a sign of curiosity rather than bloodlust.

No ammo. Uphill to a castle. Short days catch up to us again.

We set up a fire... I leave to get more wood. Darkness settles in... Sky is really blue tonight...

I must've gotten a bit lost, by the time I get back to camp Merry is shaken up and the fire is almost out. Blue paid him a visit. Must've said something right because he's still alive.

We eventually set off into the night. Town by town. Back to coast. Solnichney. Back inland to look for a truck. Find ammo for the rifle. Good. No truck. Sun comes up. Another wanderer wanders his way out of my sight. Unarmed and skittish.

Was a long night. We pick an apartment and settle in.

.

.

.

11/??/15

Uugh. Been too long since I've written anything down in this thing. Lots of things happening. People just seem to be popping out of the woodwork. Can't find the safe time to write things down. To keep track of everything.

So uh, I think it's sometime after Thanksgiving. Still getting colder so winter is definitely not over yet. At least the Ghillie that Merry and I made keeps me pretty warm. On that topic I keep finding myself wearing more and more camo. It's a bit weird, but also kinda badass. I dunno, it doesn't really feel like me i guess. Would much rather just wear some normal clothing. Reminds me of the times before all this.

11/??/15

Been trying to find what Merry calls a smersh vest and backpack. Went reeeally far off the route and routine. West...

Didn't find the vest, but there a few small backpacks that fit the description. Still couldn't take them though. The ghillie wouldn't work nearly as well plus I think it's a bit more valuable that a tiny little bag. I pick my way back to the coast.

Jesus.... I got to the edge.... I knew they were trying to keep us in, but the sheer wasteland that's been created to make sure nothing sneaks out... It's incredible. I go back into the woods before I get sniped by a border guard. Heh.

Lost in the woods. Found a tent. Replaced my current jacket for theirs. Worked better with the Ghillie. Left a note saying sorry.

11/??/15

Sunrise. Still near the edge, but safely away. I exited the woods near a gas station just east of the border. Truck there too, Merry will like that. He told me he likes to build and tinker. Just need to gather parts and somehow get them there...

Found a radio along the way back east. Managed to get a hold of Merry. Met up in... Pasta? Pusta? Whatever it's called. Got to catch up for a bit.

Merry has been teaching me about what he calls "fishing". It sounds....fun I guess. Basically waiting at the police station for hours waiting for someone to come along. It's boring to say the least, but he says the payoff can be more than worth it if you're in a pinch for food and such.

As we discuss the truck over some fresh water from the fountain some guy pops outta nowhere. Starts chatting us up. He's nice. Got a sniper rifle on his back so being this close means he doesn't want to kill us.... yet?

We travel together for a bit. Settle in for the night in a small group of houses by a small lagoon. Merry is more jumpy than usual. Started shooting at ghosts in the treeline. Heh. I thought I was supposed to be the.... no. I'm not crazy....Blue keeps me alive. He's my.....guardian?...Yeah...guardian...

*There are multiple lines through the last lines of text, but they're still readable.*

Mikeal... Micheal.. Mike? ... 's friend arrived. Dude is kiiiiiiitted out. M4 and plenty more. Could have lit us up easily. Thankfully not. Heh...dodged a bullet there. Thankfully Merry kept his shit together... for a bit.

Apparently as we were walking Merry was getting jumpy again. Accidentally pointed his gun at the guys back. They start confronting him. Sky is looking blue...dark blue... I can feel my feet carrying me into the shadows. Bolt cocking. Round chambering.

And they've decided to let him off with a warning. No violence. Sky is more black than blue tonight I suppose. Safety on. Unprime. Put away. Back into the torchlight.

Settle down, call it a night.

11/??/15 ...... 12/1? 2?/15

Days back on the route. Calmed nerves after the last entry. We holed up in a castle for a bit later that night. Was kinda fun. Merry damn near broke his legs. Woodland magic to the rescue. Whipped up a splint to keep him going.

Anyway. It's amazing to be back in the routine. Check the mail. Visit the neighboring villages and houses from Tulga. Neighbors are good. Nothing out of the ordinary. Everything where it should be. Wonderful crisp days.

To elektro! To finish the sweep and.... fuck the bushrag broke. Uuuuuugh. Oh well, still enough material to put on the Mosin though. It'll work for now.

Settle into the apartment overlooking the waterfountain. Sleep....

12/3?/15

Wake up to voices. Two women at the fountain. I go down to meet em. They're good people. Glad I called out first before approaching. I'm thankful too, one of em had a fully loaded AK.

.. Turns out she barely knew how to use it. The quiet one is the one that 'handles' things apparently. Don't see any weapons on her though. Probably in the vest.

They're traveling north to meet a friend. I offer to provide overwatch on the trip. Might as well put this rifle to good use.

North again. Almost the same route I was on back when Merry and I ran into that weird dude. Learn a bit of the history of the towns when it all went down. Lots of bloodshed apparently. And not from the infected. Military cleansing it seems. Knock knock bullet bullet...

We meet up with their friend. Funny German guy. I like him. Quirky. He and the women chat for a bit before we keep going. No idea where we are. Haven't been in this stretch of land before. I'm ancy to say the least. Apparently there's more to their group...and we're going to meet them..........

Shouldn't be more than ten they say. Not too bad....still a lot of people to keep an eye on. Lot of guns that could be pointed maaaany different ways. Keeping my head on a swivel.

Gradually meet them as we get into the next town. Nice people. Thankfully. Aaaaaand of course it equates to slightly more than 10. Thankfully I know some of the guns though and the people holding em. Fairly safe.

Turns out the guy whose tent I stumbled on was in the group. Name was Ender. No hard feelings. Turns out I was still wearing his jacket too. Got a good laugh out of that. Long day and sliiightly frayed nerves. Gonna hit the hey. I tell em how to find me when I'm back on the route and routine. Just in case they're gone by the time I'm awake again.

12/??/15

Been a rough few days.Coast has been damn near silent. Same with Tulga. Get the feeling something nasty is coming. It's been way too easy for far too long. Gonna head inland to see if I can catch the French Foreign Legion. I ran into one of their privates not long ago in Novy I think. Tried to help him and his crew against "rats". Turned out all right. They say I should visit their settlement sometime.

12/??/15

Found my way back there. Hunkered down in the Novy church for a short bit. Met a guy who called himself Jack. Creeeepy dude, but from what I could gather he was a good person who has just seen a lot of shit. Poor bastard.He eventually wandered off and I continued to Starry.

Got robbed by some weirdos. They just wanted food, so I was fine with tossing them a bag of rice. No skin off my bones. Shortly after ran into a military squad, not the FFL. Shots fired not far off. They book it. I sneak off to try and find more food.

And of course I'm held up again. Two fake sounding russians. I play along, but since I'm out of food they think they're just going to eat me instead. Where the actual fuck is Blue when you ne.... *The rest of the page is blotted out with blood.*

*next page, slightly tinted red* ...Fuck. Getting shot hurts a lot more than I thought it would. Vision's going black n white. Can't tell if the sky is blue, red, or anything. Not sure I'm making it out of this... Gotta get back to the coast. Everything is so heavy... Back soon. Need to focus on walking...

.

.

.

12 / 11 / 15

Back in action. Well 'action'. Gunshot wound still hurts, but hey I'm alive. Been trying to get in touch with the group of people that helped me out back in Novy. Some guy calls himself the Marshal apparently. Gonna try all the frequencies till I get it right.

.

.

.

Been busy on the coast lately. Lots of people running around scrounging up parts for all these crashed vehicles. Seem frantic to outrun the zombies now that they're back. Makes things interesting.

Merry and I ran into a guy named Riley. Good kid, but I have no idea how he's made it this far. Really green as to.. how to do anything really. Got him to Tulga as fast as I could before a zombie or bandit got to him.

12/ 12 / 15

Got in contact with the Trust. Name of the group that saved my ass. Turns out I ran into one of their members yesterday. Think his name was Yoshi. Nice guy.

Going to be trying to meet up with them soon. Gonna bring Murry along just in case. Better to have some back-up even if it's a bit...eccentric. He picked up a sword and knight helmet recently. Looks ridiculous, but it'll probably keep him alive.

In the meantime I'm gonna try and re-arm myself. Lost my Mosin and sidearm since getting shot.

Halfway there, found this neat little antique. I think it's called a Luger. At least that's what it was called in a video game I played forever ago. I think I'll name it Nueve since it has a 9 on the handle.

12 / 13 / 15

Got the Trust on the radio again. Meeting with Yoshi and Marshal. We meet up in Staroye then get a ride to Mycta. Lots of questions about my life before the infection. I tell the truth as best I can. It's a bit odd having this long of a conversation with someone without them wanting something or just running off.

They eventually interview Murry. He can't seem to sit still. Weirdo. Then again, better safe than sorry.

Eventually they find out about our 'fishing' forays. They don't outright reject us. But they warn that if we want to further pursue a relationship in their group it has to stop. Easy enough for me. I dunno about Murry.

Once that's all set and done we head toward Guglovo to meet up with a few more members. Met the Chief. Scary dude. In a good way.

Got my mosin back. Most of the paint must've gotten washed off in the recent storm. Gonna call her Bertha.

We're going to head to New Paris to get shown a 'fun time'. My own poor choice of words got us going in that direction. God I seem like such a kid compared to this dude.

Turns out New Paris isn't the paradise people claimed it was. Cesspool of bandits and manipulators. We're going there to help rescue someone in the Trust who got captured by the Matchmakers. Turns out I've already ran into their leader Elaina. Guess it really is legit. I can feel anger boil up.

I could have killed her ages ago. Back when we caught her during a fishing foray in Elektro. Now she's out here pointing a gun at someone's head and another tied up. I won't hesitate this time...

Things happen quickly. Capture a doctor. Free one. Control the house. Watch the doors. Silence...

Southern accents and a younger voice. Grit teeth. Marshal's voice. Gunshots.... Silence...

Managed to rescue the other guy, but Elaina is nowhere to be seen. Marshal is unconscious. Fuck. We cut out losses and run. I do what I can for Marshal before we split.

Running in darkness. Trees and a few stray shots. I get separated from the group. Find my way into Gorka. The Trust say that that's where the Matchmakers are going. I need water. They don't know my name or face. I can do this...

. . . They're close . . . No Elaina I don't think . . . My hands are surprisingly steady. I move through the shadows. Unseen. Unheard.

I found their car. AK with half a mag. If Marshal is okay he'll want this to restock his arsenal. No doubt he got looted while he was unconscious.

Book it. . .

Got as far as Orvolets before I see two people on the road. One is german. Male. The other... Southern. Female... Elaina. I freeze and grip the AK tightly. Enough bullets for both if they make a move. Stay calm. Stay calm.

She's talking to me. Wanted my name. I don't give it. I know what she's trying to do.

She steps closer. Confused as to why I won't tell her anything. I raise the rifle to her chest. "I know your voice." I start backing away. Coward. Coward. Coward! COWARD!

She tries to follow me, but I keep my aim steady. Keep backing up. Keep going........ C O W A R D . . .

She gives up on following me. Thankfully her friend wasn't interested in chasing a jumpy guy with an AK. They disappear.

Back on the coast. Every crack in the road brings a rush of familiarity and serves to unwind my frayed nerves. The soft light of a sunrise touches the grass bringing back color to the world of gray.

Back to Tulga. Back to safety. Back to routine.

.

.

.

12/18/15

Been spending a lot of time moving around. Lots of time being around the Trust.

I've been working on making Tulga gradually more habitable. Turning it into a safe haven for good people who need help getting themselves together. Helping to teach them the skills they need to make it to the next day and hopefully beyond that. Two names in particular. Riley Wilco and James Dyson. There was a third, but I don't think I'll be seeing him again. He left for the towns further inland with junk he wanted to trade. He didn't seem to understand it was more likely he would be robbed than traded with.

I'm starting to get more concerned about Murry. He's very eccentric sure, but he just seems to take none of this seriously. The Matchmakers, he thinks he would be fine if he got captured by them. Even enjoy it. He isn't interested in the Trust because they seem "boring" to him.

I get the feeling he might try to join them. I'm not sure. Could be useful. I don't want to see him turn into a monster though. There are a lot of ways it could turn out. If it happens I hope it's for the best...

Anyway... he seems to get most of his enjoyment from shooting things. Be it person or zombie. I guess he's just a product of the world that he's living in.

Got that gunshot wound fixed up by a guy named Kyle Sweeney. Sadly, I got wounded...again. I got caught in a grenade blast. Was traveling with the Trust. This girl I remember we saved from the Matchmakers was acting sketchy all night. She got spooked by Yoshi firing his Mosin to get the Marshal's attention. She pulls out a grenade. Evidently somehow she pulled the pin without meaning to...

Bloody mess... Everyone except Marshal got hurt. Couple nasty bruises from getting tossed like a rag-doll. I'm also having trouble hearing out of my right ear. Lots of blood from that area. Lots of pain too. I'm scared to take my hat off. I think that might be all that's keeping my ear on. Just gonna keep disinfecting it and hope for the best. Gotta get to the doctor when he's done with the more serious stuff. I think most of it is scabbed up though. No fresh blood.

Also... I think Blue is gone... Being around all these people... Their voices kind of drown out his... It's oddly reassuring... I think it also means that I might actually be getting stronger... I mean, I finally killed someone. That cannibal that tried to get me in Novy... And I want to kill someone else... Just one though...

Her name is Elaina Vale. I've let her go too many times now. I don't want to see anyone else hurt by her. I don't want Murry to become her tool. I can't let that happen.

There's one thing I need to know first though... Is her life worth saving? I have to talk to her... At least once before I make my decision. Find out if there's anything human left inside her. Something worth letting her live...

I hope I make the right choice...

12/19/15

Got back with the Trust again. Needed to get my ear checked out. Lots of pain from the area that was starting to spread.

As I suspected, my hat was all that was holding my ear on. Thankfully, the only thing impairing my hearing is a lot of clotted blood in the ear canal. Should clear up in a week or two.

Was also getting infected, but it was only in the beginning stages of it. Doc injected some penicillin.

I got to get to know a few of their members a bit better. Logan is kinda like me. The helping hero. Only thing is that he really wants to help everyone and when he can't help everyone he feels really guilty about it. Starts beating himself up about it. I give him a few nuggets of advice. Basically told him to pick and choose his battles. Some people can't be saved. Some don't even want to be saved. Keep your eyes open for the right ones.

Among other things I think he could use a bit of counseling on it. I think he genuinely hates himself for not being able to save someone the other day.

I'll see what I can do.

.

.

.

Fuck. Somehow the Matchmakers got here... And of course the only person acting weird tonight was Fehy.

She lead them RIGHT. TO. US.

Heated discussion. Warnings given. No Elaina though.

However, I did get some information from two dudes who passed through. They like to do business in Novy and New Paris. That'll be where I start. Need to be careful about it though. Probably need to change my look. Only go with a handgun. Stay under the radar. Get in close. Draw her away. Play her game better than she does.

... What am I becoming? I'm obsessing over this. Do I just give it up for my own sanity or actually try and follow through with this? Can I even murder someone in cold blood?

Y E S  Y O U  C A N . . .

.

.

.

After everything settled down again I got a visit from Chief while I was talking with Jimmy... I got the armband... Still being watched by one of the most dangerous hawks in the mountains, but that's honestly reassuring. Hopefully it will turn into being watched over.

12/21/15

Things have been fairly quiet. Only one major incident. Involved a long run north. A brief state of panic over some commotion back to the south. The Trust questioned why I cared so much about the people back in Tulga. At the time I didn't have an answer, I was panicked. But, after thinking about it I came to realize that I promised Tulga would be a safe place for them. I promised to protect those that I brought there. By not being able to do that I felt that I had failed and that all I had worked for had just slipped through my fingers.

And all because I just went off the routine. So far I almost didn't find my way back this time.

I've been given a job by my peers. I'm the group counselor. I'm glad that my career path still has a use in these times. Got my first patient. Talked for about an hour. Made great progress. Brief follow up the next day.

A strange sort of person paid the group a visit. His name is Buckley. Very strange and miraculously still alive given his...behaviors and mannerisms. We appear to at least be friends though. I did something important for him.

His mom was infected. He wanted me to fix her. I only know of one way to do that... We go to where he has her kept. She got out. Was wandering the woods not far off... It's strange... I never really connected the dots that these were people before... Seeing him cry over his mother's corpse struck a chord in me. What if my parents are like that right now? I can't help them. I damn near started crying in front of Buckley. The worst part is the not knowing. I want them to be alive, but given how few people can get by here. The states are probably torn to shreds. Buckley offered to return the favor if my mom was like his. It means a lot. I honestly don't think I could do it myself...

N O   Q U A L M S   A B O U T   K I L L I N G   E L A I N A   T H O U G H . . .

Sleep. Need energy for the days ahead. Two people need my help in particular, lots of grief and anger that they are either keeping in or letting out in the wrong ways.

[Fluffles]

I really enjoyed this! Please keep it up

[Dustin1]

I really enjoyed this! Please keep it up

I disliked how long it took me OOC to conclude the split personality thing.

Those notes that were always waiting for me in houses creeped me out @.@

[DatBlueWolf]

I disliked how long it took me OOC to conclude the split personality thing.

Those notes that were always waiting for me in houses creeped me out @.@

Was still working out the kinks. Plus given the requirements for the split to show up were fairly strict. You never really met those requirements.

[DatBlueWolf]

New entry added above.

[DatBlueWolf]

New Entry!!!

---

---

12/26/15

Merry Christmas. It's been a crazy few days. Weeks. Never a dull moment.

I've been gradually working on becoming the group's counselor. Got myself a house/office for those that want a more formal setting. Bit run down, but it has two places to sit which is important.

Anyway, main reason for this entry. I think Marshal is starting to lose it. What 'it' is may be a variety of things but mainly his touch with reality. Based on my talk with him I can say with 99.99% certainty that that man has a literal fuck ton of PTSD. He's got flashbacks constantly and only feels calm and collected in moments of extreme tension. We came to a general consensus of "Moments of clarity amidst a world of chaos, confusion, etc."

He asked me if there was a time that will come when he'll be overwhelmed by the pressure of his deeds. For a moment I wasn't entirely sure how to answer. The question got a bit lost amid other details. Now that I have some more time to think about it I think I can address it.

[align=left]To Marshal, if you read this, this may be a bit more of a focused answer than the one I gave you.

I don't know if that time will ever come. My best guess would be that it's up to you. How much are you willing to endure before you decide to give in. Only you know your limits right now. I would like to hope that the time never comes. You have a lot to live for. A family waiting for you up north. A family right in front of you that wants to help you and support you.

While a man is defined by his actions he does not need to be eternally burdened by them. You're carrying a heavy pack. Take time to set it down and even lighten the load. Do not forget, but in time forgive yourself if forgiveness is what you're truly seeking.

.

.

.

Anyway. In regards to my most recent... O B S E S S I O N . . .

There is nothing human left inside Elaina Vale.

W H A T  A B O U T  Y O U ?

She was willing to sell her own sister into slavery. She's a monster.

N O  M O R E  H O L D I N G  M E   B A C K   N O W . . .

This is my job. Not yours. I don't need you for this.

A R E Y O U  S O  S U R E  A B O U T  T H A T ? I  K N O W  Y O U  B E T T E R  T H A N  Y O U  K N O W  Y O U R S E L F . . .

Y O U ' R E  S T I L L  W R I T I N G  A L L  T H I S  O U T. . . S T I L L  K E E P I N G  M E  A R O U N D. . .

Y O U   A R E   S C A R E D!

I am... But I've gotten stronger since we first met.

W E ' L L  S E E ...

[gherig]

Nice job man keep it up

[DatBlueWolf]

New Entry!

---

---

Jan 1, 2016

Happy New Year to me. It's plain to see. Cannibals might be after me.

Fink Anderson. Number two on our little list.

A cannibal. A madman. A Mass murderer. Red and White mask. Cockney accent.

I was back to wandering the coast for a short time. Ran into Paul Mansfield. The cannibals' resident vegetarian and 'cook'. Fink and Jake arrive. They seem to like me enough.  Also easy to manipulate. Stay under the radar, if they do something dumb. Solve the problem.

It's easy enough to pick up that Fink and Jake are cannibals. Poor and obvious wording to scare another coastal wanderer lead me to the conclusion. We eventually make our way to Cherno after getting separated from Jake. He shoots to try and get our attention, we play marco polo with bullets for awhile. But he doesn't seem to be able to find where we are. Dumbass.

We set up fire and farm at the construction site. Hoping he might catch up.

He shoots Paul in the leg from afar. Who knows why.

Splinted. Fink goes to find morphine and some new pants for Paul.

Paul and I chat. Turns out Fink rules through fear. Paul doesn't like the business, but doesn't want to be hunted by the madman. Goes along with it. Their plan was to kill me after I made the farm for them.

At least he's honest.

There may be hope for him yet. I convince him that we should head out. Not worth staying since Fink will still want to eat me.

I go, he stumbles along behind me. Spouting fearful rhetoric the whole way about how dangerous Fink is. He's made himself out as some kind of demi-god. Unkillable and untouchable.

We'll see how he fares against a .308 round.

You're awfully calm tonight.

You're accepting the killer inside, James.

No need to shout over you anymore.

Whatever... Anyway, I had him in my sights when we were picking through Kamy. He somehow tracked us all the way there. I booked it up a hill while he talked to Paul. I had him in scope. Couldn't steady my hand. Too out of breath from running all night and then sprinting the hill.

He got away. Ran off before I could take a clean shot.

Good things come to those who wait. Give it time.

...

To-Do:

-Kill Elaina if you find her.

-Kill Fink if you find him.

-Clear cities along the route of infected.

-Follow up with John 'Marshal' Waters on his progress.

-...Get rid of Blue.

-...Get rid of James. >; )

[DatBlueWolf]

Update!

The Journal is currently in possession of someone else. High chance of no more entries unless the current holder wants to write down stuff in it or James makes it through the next few days.

[DatBlueWolf]

New Entry. Last one for awhile, going to be switching over to a new character for a bit. Enjoy!

[video=youtube]

---

---

1/13/16

I shouldn't be alive...

Nope, you shouldn't.

Fuck off.

Do you really think people actually believe your little story? Saving your precious first friend from the scaaaaary cannibals?

Well, that's what happened. I put two and two together. Let's be real here, she would have probably ended up on the list at some point. I mean... Laughing about bashing someone's head in with a fire extinguisher... That's worse than us...

Evidently not. You tried to kill Emmrich, a member of the Trust. He would have been number 3 and Destiny would have been number 2. He probably deserves it too. You knew he was unstable... Even evil...

Unstable doesn't mean evil. Besides, he's a lot like us. One half blood-thirsty and one part logical and reasoning. Just like he said.

You're trying really hard to make him out as a good guy...

He wouldn't have been in the Trust in the first place if he wasn't. Whatever, it's in the past now.

Yeah guess who else is in the past now too. Your precious little Murry. Abandoned in a pool of his own blood. D E A D .

...

You abandoned him when he needed you most. Hunted by Immortals. Searching for safety in the Northwest where there is most certainly none.

Guess whose fault it is... Go on... I'll give you time to think...

Shut up...

Uh oh are those tears? From the cold hearted Bonluff? Oooooo, you poooooor thiiiiing. Ugh cry off of the page you're blotting the ink.

I'm sick of you... Ever since I started actually meeting people you've been fucking me up... Always whispering to kill the same fucking people over and over and over... I honestly don't care anymore... Killing ONE person damn near started a war that would have killed everyone I cared about...

Fuck killing Elaina.

Fuck killing Ronald.

Fuck killing Fink.

I'm done... I'm done with you... I'm done with all the obsessing...

I'm getting out... No more of your fucking routine... No more of your fucking routes...

Ooo. So running away is going to solve all your problems? You realize that as soon as you're out of Mysta and South Zagoria the Marshal can't protect you anymore? It'd just be youuuuuu and little. o l d .  M E .

At least that's only one problem I'd have to solve. Plenty of time to find the proper solution.

Ho ho. Feisty.

---

*On a separate page*

Hello Riley and whoever else reads this,

I need to take a vacation...  mental health day... month...

There are things that I need to take care of before I can feel comfortable being around you all and providing the help I'm supposed to.

Remember that voice in my head? I want him gone. I don't think I can do that when I'm always a potential inch away from the people he wants me to kill.

Besides. Having a therapist that can barely take care of his own mental... issues... probably isn't the best one to be getting advice from.

I'm going to be heading out of the country for a bit to try and find something that will help me.

I'll be back and he certainly won't be. That much I can promise you all.

So long and thanks for all the fish,

---James Bonluff

[Kaleb]

I certainly hope James enjoys his time off! And here's wishing nothing drastic happens while he's gone.

[Yoshi]

I need to take a vacation...  mental health day... or month...

There you go.

Interesting read. Don't forget to come back to us, James! Enjoy your new character!

[Combat Logo]

We will be waiting for your return James. Enjoy your Vacation  Mental Health Day/Month. Good Read.

[DatBlueWolf]

[align=left]Hello again everyone! The 'legend' continues. This is a log of the events I generated for James during his time out of country based on the rolls of a D100.

[align=left]Enjoy!

---

James Bonluff's (New) Journal

*The journal is a very thin black spiral notebook with only about five pages contained inside. His name is written on the front in cracked white-out.*

1/13/2016 - The Departure (No dice rolled)

[align=left]Well... I made it out. Just followed the southern road west and walked. It's strange seeing everything be so... unfamiliar. Just nothing for miles around.

[align=left]Thankfully plenty of food and water. Based on some maps I've found it'll take a few days to get to the next major city. A few towns along the way though. Should be okay.

[align=left]You're gonna die out here.

[align=left]Only time will tell. Hopefully you'll go first.

1/14/2016 - Day 1 (D100 - 85)

[align=left]Fuck. Got to the first town and already got robbed. Group of bandits took my guns and ammo. Thankfully left everything else.

[align=left]Off to a good start. Should have just killed em though. Pushover. Just turn around. Back to routine.

[align=left]Remember how I said to fuck off? Start doing that. I told you I'm done with that.

[align=left].

[align=left]Found a replacement rifle later in the day. Really beat up looking Mosin, sawed off, no ammo.... It'll do...

1/15/2016 - Day 2 (D100 - 90)

[align=left]Out of the frying pan and into the fire. Fell off a ledge and damn near broke my fucking leg. FUCK!

[align=left]Aww, poor you. Totally wouldn't have happened if you had stayed back home.

[align=left]... Made a splint just in case. Gonna be taking things slow for awhile. A long while.

[align=left]Oooo, cold shoulder. Not enjoying our little conversations anymore?

[align=left]...

1/16/2016 - Day 3 (D100 - 50)

[align=left]Took it easy today. Letting the leg rest. Nice day for it too. Mostly sunny. Spent most of the day laying in the sun. Felt good man.

[align=left]Don't you have some solution to look for? Lazy, cowardly, and no-good. You'll never get rid of me at this rate.

[align=left]...

[align=left]Really? Nothing? Come on. I know you hear me you little shit!

[align=left]...

1/17/2016 - Day 4 (D100 - 44)

[align=left]Leg is feeling much better today. Started walking around the town I was holed up in. Kinda reminded me of Tulga... Hope everyone is alright back there. Nice day continues. Few infected out here. At least in this area. Still a bit too close to the bandits from before. Probably gonna keep going West for now.

[align=left]They're all dead because of you. You abandoned them. You'll have nothing to come back to.

[align=left]Oh sweet. A can of peaches. Was about to run out.

[align=left]Helloooooo? I'm talking to you shit-head!

[align=left]...

1/18/2016 - Day 5 (D100 - 84)

[align=left]Guess who showed up again. Bandits from before. Didn't even bother to take my guns or ammo. Just beat the shit out of me and took my last can of peaches. Left me with a bunch of shitty cans of bacon and a rotten apple.

[align=left]Told you that you should have killed them. Should have listened to me Bonluff.

[align=left]Hmm. I wonder if there are any grocery stores around. Bet they have more peaches.

[align=left]ANSWER ME ASSHOLE

[align=left]...

1/19/2016 - Day 6 (D100 - 56)

[align=left]Calm day. Nice day. Things are peachy keen. As in I found more peaches.

[align=left]Fuck your peaches!

[align=left]Did some target practice. This rifle is basically a shotgun. But it'll do.

[align=left]YOU CAN'T KEEP IGNORING ME! I'M ALL YOU HAVE!

[align=left]...

1/20/2016 - Day 7 (D100 - 81)

[align=left]Ran into the bandits again. They didn't even rob me this time. Just some verbal berating and taunting. I did something strange. I just smiled at them. That got to them. I don't really know why I did it. I wasn't particularly happy to see them again, but I was starting to notice something.

[align=left]There weren't really other people out here, just this one group. Have they just been following me? I might very well be the only person they've had to torment in a long time.

[align=left]It's kinda cute actually. They've been showing up almost every other day so far. I might have to give em a bit of a surprise the next time they roll around.

[align=left]Cute. Cute? CUTE!? ARE YOU SERIOUS!? THEY'RE BANDITS! THEY DESERVE TO DIE. THEY HURT INNOCENT PEOPLE!

[align=left]...

[align=left]WEAKLING! ANSWER. ME.

[align=left]...

1/21/2016 - Day 8 (D100 - 45)

[align=left]Spent the day gathering food and miscellaneous ammunition. Got a decent haul. This should go pretty well if they do show up again.

[align=left]It's not going to change anything. They're still going to call you names and take your things!

[align=left]...

[align=left]*The rest of the page is covered in angry looking scribbles. Making the rest of the page unusable.*

1/22/2016 - Day 9 (D100 - 54)

[align=left]Got everything mostly set up. Got it all in a nice pile. Just gotta wait now. Leg is feeling phenomenal. I think I can take the splint off now.

[align=left]Yup, we're good.

[align=left]It's gonna fail. You won't change anything!

[align=left]...

1/23/2016 - Day 10/11 (D100 - 70) - (D100 - 2)

[align=left]I knew it! They have been following me! Had the pile hidden behind a fence. Ran from them and when they turned the corner it was like a veeeery belated Christmas for them. They just sort of stood there looking incredibly confused. I did my best to explain that it was a gift for them. They thought I was crazy, more shit talk, but they eventually softened up. It was kind of like kids getting caught in their secret plan. They ended up apologizing and we all sat down and had a pretty damn good feast. Turns out they normally don't rob people, initially they robbed me because expected me to shoot them instantly. Wanted to make that first impression and swing some power around. They ended up following me because there wasn't much else to do and wanted to make sure I was alright I guess.

[align=left]Lucky fuck.

[align=left]Nope.

[align=left]Oh now you speak up! Listen here James, we're going home now! You've spent enough time playing little goody two shoes out here. They don't know all the things you've done. I do! I KNOW YOU AND YOU CAN'T CHANGE!

[align=left]You done?

[align=left]...What?

[align=left]You're right. I should go home.

[align=left]Finally you're listening to m

[align=left]No, no I'm not listening to you. I'm going home, but you're not coming with me.

[align=left]...What?

[align=left]I thought that in order to be strong I had to be capable of violence. To be able to kill someone. That's the easiest thing to do nowadays. Just pulling the trigger. Restraint is much harder. Controlling yourself even in your lowest moment. The entire reason I'm out here is because of losing control over myself and listening to you.

[align=left]So, I'm just gonna not do it anymore. Even if the hardest thing in the world is to be kind to someone. I think I'm gonna do it. Kill them with kindness.

[align=left]You really are crazy. You're in a completely differ

[align=left]Blue. I don't need you. I don't think I ever did.

[align=left]You can't just fucking leave me here! I am you! I got you through all this! I MADE YOU!

[align=left]No. I made you. I made you in a time of panic and distress. I'm long past all that. I. Don't. Need. You.

[align=left]FUCK Y

[align=left]Goodbye, Blue.

[align=left]*The rest of the page is blank.*

[Combat Logo]

*Slow claps, before rising in his seat and claps faster.* Bravo, James, Bravo.

[Kaleb]

Good read as always! Really digging the misadventures of James and Blue.

[Fluffles]

Still love it.

[DatBlueWolf]

New and Final Entry

---

[video=youtube]

Met up with these LIFE dudes. Doctors and medics. I'm their new therapist. Should be interesting.

They're stationed in a dangerous area though. Gotta stay on my toes.

Synthesis faked her death and I erased her memories for her. One more chance. Hopefully forgets about grenades.

...

2/12/2016

Found a truck for the LIFE folks. Got it running too.

And of course. Now we get robbed. Jotted down these notes while we were all put in the back of the truck.

Pretty sure these guys are Masquerade. No other big banditos out NW. Taking us south or something. Fuck they're telling us to get out now.

Back soon... Maybe...

*The rest of the notebook is soaked in blood and brain matter.*

/////

RIP James Bonluff

It was a good run folks. Don't worry I'll still be around on other characters.

/////

[Combat Logo]

No! James! Oh dear God no! o7 James Bonluff, always a great read.

[Kaleb]

Buhbye, James. o7 I'll miss ya.

[Diamond]

o7 james <3

[Dusty]

o7 Bonluff

Really enjoyed your RP in the situation, I hope we provided a satisfactory end to your character's life.

[Sylvester Todd]

o7 Pally, I'd say I'd miss ya but I didn't

[DatBlueWolf]

o7 Pally, I'd say I'd miss ya but I didn't

*WINK WINK* Was a decent way to go. Better than some random banditos. At least our groups already had tension between em. Was super surprised I didn't get domed during the truck stop.

---

o7 Bonluff

Really enjoyed your RP in the situation, I hope we provided a satisfactory end to your character's life.

Yeah, was doing what I could. Sorry those other guys were being so difficult. Like, they gave you folks nothing to work with even during the ride over.