Reflections

[Aurora Sky]

*Inside a leather bound book you would find lots of loose leaf paper making a rather crude journal of sorts. 

The following is the ramblings and thoughts of one Sue Summers.* 

At some point we all look back on our lives, we reflect on the things we have done and the choices made. Could they have been better? Could I have profited more from this or that? Did I stray from my morals or uphold them even in the face of adversity? It seems I am at one of these points in my life. Let me stop here and take you back about a year, My name was Sue Summers and I was going to be the lead anchorwoman for CBSN. I had been working for CBS for a little over a six months when I was offered the prestigious position. Everything was set and the ink on my new four year contract with the company when word came down that something strange was going on in a small province in Eastern Europe. The details were fuzzy at best but the CEO decided that it was worth looking into, he thought that the U.N. was trying to hide something big. Normally I would not touch something like this, especially considering the recent promotion however something about the way it was presented to me caught my eye. Perhaps it was my chance to take down and uncover any dirt on U.N. cover-ups who knows. I had the assurance that if nothing came of the story then I would still headline CBSN in the winter.

My crew and myself arrived in the region on the twenty first of October. What we were met with was a country in chaos and a populus in need. We recorded what we could and helped out whenever the opportunity presented itself. One thing was for sure the west was a battlezone and it was spreading fast. Somehow we managed to survive for months, we hid in the woods just south of a town called Novy Sobor. One night while we were all sitting around a fire eating some rabbit that we had managed to trap, we heard the sound of footsteps on the forest floor. We reached for our useless pistols - why anyone thinks a gun is going to save them I have no idea. We thought having guns would keep us safe… Someone always has a bigger one. That was the case this night. A group of seven or eight men walked up into our camp, we offered them to share what little food and shelter we had to offer but they were not interested.

I was forced to watch as the men lined up and killed my entire crew… What they did to me was worse. I was left for dead, but I did not die. I survived and managed to find enough medical supplies and food to stay alive. Months passed, in solitude I stayed for the most part. I met with other survivors on my ventures out for supplies. One day I met a group, rough around the edges and a bit unstable yet they protected each other. They took me in, in a way. They showed me a different way of life and living, it opened a world of possibilities that I had never even thought of. Yet it was unfinished, unrefined. That is where he comes into the story, Cid. By all accounts just a normal survivor, with a few quirks. I have been with him for a few weeks now and where the others left a blank canvas he has turned into something interesting... something that for once I am proud to be again. No longer am I Sue Summers anchorwoman, now I am Sue Summers survivor and possession of one Cid Owens. This notebook marks the start of a new life and new adventures.

[Cid]

Looks great! Glad to be apart of this story and I can't wait for more entries by you.

[Jannik]

good work +1

nice story what caught me was the part where your crew was shot

I look forward to more

[Ronan]

Very interesting! Looking forward to more from this character! +1

[Ramon]

Nice story. But I am curious what is happend between when the group entered the camp and the dead of your entire crew....

Is there coming more?

[Ellie]

Intriguing can't wait to hear more about Sue

[Aurora Sky]

I got to watch him today, watch him work. I was a bit worried at first, I thought it would be similar to watching the men that attacked our camp and beat the snot out of my crew. It was not, when they did what they did there was no reason behind it, no purpose at all, but tonight there was. He had a goal in mind, not to kill the man in question but to break him down so he could be rebuilt in a better image. A stronger image if you will. The men that attacked the camp simply wanted to kill. Strange the way the mind works… most sane people would see it as one in the same yet I can see the subtle differences between the two. Perhaps I am more crazy than I thought. I find joy and pleasure in watching him work yet I worry over the well being of one single girl. She was not protected, if she is owned she should be protected right? Yes and if the owner can not protect then what? I was mad when I thought that they might not be protecting her but what if he could not protect me? What if something stopped him from protecting me? What would happen then?

[Jamie]

Nice stuff Aurora! Can't wait for more.

[Aurora Sky]

Thank you!

[Nocheluz]

Nice to see a new entry. You know I've always adored your work girl! Keep 'em coming! <3

[Ronan]

Liking the new entry!

[Pussy]

Got a chance to read those over Aurora. Wow! c: that is the main word that comes to mind.

I'm intrigued to hear more about Sue! I'll definitely be watching out for these.

[Ramon]

Very nice part 2!

[Aurora Sky]

Thank you Everyone for the feedback on this, I am glad you all are liking it what with Auroras Thoughts on hold for now and Liliya being put to sleep if you will I needed a new Project, and found it in Sue. I hope everyone enjoys This as much as the others!

[Aurora Sky]

Questions, we all have them yet today I learned a valuable lesson in when to question someone and when not to question them. A few days ago he was hurt in an incident involving a very rude man that decided to take a bite out of him. The injuries were not life threatening however I found myself thinking that if he could not even stand to hold his gun how would he protect me from any that are wanting to hurt me, and my gut tells me there are. I wanted to run, to flee, yet I belong to him so how was I to leave? I find myself at odds one moment he is like the air I breath and in the next I want to be away from him, not due to anything he has done to me but rather to help keep him and myself safe. If any knew I cared about him or him me they would use that against us. I thought I had to be strong and push him out in order to stay on guard and safe yet that only made things worse. It seems that no matter the odds we are stronger together than apart… How long will it last? I do not know all I can say for certain is that as much as I am him he has become mine as well, he does not know this yet but should any try and harm him I will do all I have to. There are no rules, no one to answer to other than him. Yet I still try and hold onto anything good left in me, it is not much to be sure but it is all I have.

One thing that haunts me this night is the look on his face when I kept back talking and disobeying him. He was mad yes but more than that I saw disappointment in his eyes. For the first time I had let him down. That is what had me up writing, the fact that I had disappointed him so. I never set out to do so and would not wish to do so again. I must remember to be obedient at all times, I must endeavor to be good and graceful and I must remember that his punishments are meant to guide me so that I am stronger, better than before. It is not about pain, it is about training your mind and body to surrender control to a man that wants to meet your needs and protect you. This I must remember always.

[Kanen]

Great read can't wait for the next part. <3

[Luca]

Great read can't wait for the next part. <3

Agreed ^

[Roger]

Can't wait for the next chapter in this tale.

[Ronan]

Awesome chapter Aurora! Can't wait for the next chapter!

[Aurora Sky]

I received my first tattoo today, It hurt more than I would have thought, yet within the pain I was able to find some peace. Masochist, It is the word used. Am I really a Masochist? Yes I am, funny that, had you asked me that question a year ago I would have told you no. Looking back I see that for the lie it is. Complicated that is what it is. I did not enjoy the night the men came into my camp, I was not able to find that safe place within the pain, in truth I still have issues finding it sometimes, pain is supposed to hurt. For some they may never find the peace that can come with it.

The tattoo that I got… It’s ironic, truly is. When Kenji first spoke of tattoos I knew instantly the one that I wanted. We have this thing me and him. An agreement that works for both of us. He owns me essentially but in return he protects me for men like the ones from that night. I am his so the tattoo represents that. The symbol represents a B.D.S.M. relationship and even though neither one of us will state it now that I think about it that is exactly what it is. It fits and as this in a new chapter in my life the tattoo is fitting.

Today marks the first day of my appointments with the doctors. Kenji gave me some beta-blockers to help with the panic attacks and I will be meeting with another doctor to help with the P.T.S.D. I am worried but it needs to be done, with the infected migrating back down south they are now in waves and with them brings the gunshots. How is it that if I know someone is going to shoot I am alright but if I am not expecting it I freak out? I wish I had an explanation for it, I feel like a child at times, that is how some people treat me… “ Sue relax breath it's alright…”   No shit it's alright. I know that somewhere in the back of my mind I know that they are shooting the infected to protect themselves yet I loose it… I wish I could control it… I hate feeling out of control like that… you can not lose control in the new world… It brings bad things.  

~Sue stops writing and looks down at the page. Ice blue eyes fill with tears as she realizes that even in her writing her anxiety still shows. Hating the feel of it she shuts her book and stands. In a haze she walks outside and tilts her head up to the moon trying to come back to herself before He wakes up. ~

The Tattoo. Placed on her right inner wrist.

[Aurora Sky]

We fought, me and him. I hate it when we fight I feel like sometimes when he looks at me he is disappointed… I hate that. Something changed between us, it was not the same as before when he was sick… this was deeper. He yelled at me for something I did not do… it was the first time he had ever done that. Always so controlled and it snapped. Perhaps I pushed him too far I’m not sure all I know is that I had disappointed him and that in turn angered me. In that moment I hated him, hated that I had let him down and hated everything he had tried to teach me. We spun out of control for a few days and by the time I could think straight again so much was lost and messed up. I wanted to walk away, to leave and be alone. At times I still do but… but we talked. Something he said stopped me, made me stay. Perhaps I am a bit of a sadomasochist. I like to watch others pain yet I cannot think without his control in my life. It is not normal I know, but then what is normal nowadays anyway? I got rid of the dress. Yelled at him and told him what I truly thought of it. I crushed him I never thought I had that kind of power over him yet as I stood before him for the second time that day I crushed him. Two times I know my words and actions cut him deep, disappointed him. I hate when he is disappointed. I can be better, I can and will be what he sees in me. That light that only he sees. I will be his wicked.  

[mp3]http://puu.sh/m14yj/6307920977.mp3[/mp3]

[Aurora Sky]

[mp3]http://puu.sh/nxuJH/439df92ebf.mp3[/mp3]

[Aurora Sky]

[mp3]http://puu.sh/nPv8D/f645a07df7.mp3[/mp3]

Crazy... Yes I guess I am, but aren't we all? Just a bit anyway? I do understand when one needs to step away from a situation and nothing has made that more clear than the other day. We were with our new associates. We had walked into the town and had just sat down when everyone started to walk off. It was clear that none of them wanted us around, mix that with Lucifer acting strangely and others not following Cid's orders and I had had enough. I SNAPPED... That was fun and it seemed to startle everyone... It is strange to think that I scare people in any kind of way yet I quite enjoy it. I am close to loosing it some days the only thing holding me together is Cid's control over me. It is that quiet Dominance that grounds me. With out that I would shatter into a million little tiny bits... Will I ever get to a point where his control is not enough? I hope not.

[Majoo]

What a great story !

[Jabba]

This really causes a shiver to run up my spine. I do not know what it is about your voice but it freaks me out. Great narration btw, very fluent. Having a voice to listen while you read really adds to the effect. Overall very impressive, some would say it is loremaster quality