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Clare

The Forgotten Journal. Part I.

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Clare    25

Part I. 

Along a dirt road, an old house stands firm on it's foundation despite it's surroundings crumbling. A family home built to stand the test of time, perhaps. When a traveler looking for shelter comes across it's remains, he decides to take shelter for the night. As he creaks the door open a dark figure emerges from the shadows and brushes past him, leaving the door almost off it's hinges. Startled as he stumbles back he sees the figure sprint down the road with no thought to turn back. He tries to cry out for the figure but they vanish into the nights haze. Confused and flustered the man turns back into the home and shuts the battered door closed, fearing that the noise alerted the diseased creatures that have been plaguing the land. Getting himself together sitting in the pitch black room, he removes a match from his jacket pocket and scraps it against the box it came from. Lighting the room, he is surprised to see the house is not torn and destroyed, but seemingly lived in. What catches his eye is, a few meters from the doorway, lays a small book with no distinguishable cover. He silently walks over to the book and picks it up, quickly throwing it into his bag. He begins to search the rest of the house and realizes the entire home looks like it wasn't touched by the horrors around it. It's like someone was keeping it this way; not letting it fall apart like the rest...

After some time the man begins to build a small fire on the kitchen floor. The kitchen was away from most of the windows in the home, since he did not want to alert anyone to his presence. Still not knowing who or what he encountered when he first arrived at the home, he reached into his bag and retrieved the book he found in the front doorway. The book was tattered and worn. A plain washed out red cover and back was the only thing keeping it together. Upon opening the book a small black and white photo of a young couple falls onto the ground. Picking the picture up, he looks on the back and it reads: "November 1994, Katia & Havel Maruska." Placing the photo on the kitchen counter, he proceeds into the book. A few blank pages later, scribbled handwriting cover the pages. Dates are smudged out at the top of the paper by water damage but the main text is still readable. Trying his best to light the pages, he begins to read the book from the first scribbles of text.

"He hit me. He hit me again today in front of Monika. I stay for her. I don't want her to grow up without a father. My bruises I cannot hide anymore without our neighbours asking questions. I tell them I fell when I was in the garden but they don't believe me. Lada keeps telling me she's going to get me help and away from here with my daughter but I don't want to leave our home. I don't want to leave everything we have. He will find me if I leave and hurt me more. Monika does not need this in her life. She is just a child. I don't want her to grow up in war and a broken family. I want her to know I didn't want this for her. She is my world. She's the reason I keep trying to love Havel. We brought her into this world. He hits me because I'm not what he wants. I'm not a young woman anymore. He looks at me like I'm filth. I'm not his standard of woman. He does not think of me as the mother of his child, he wants nothing to do with Monika when I am around. Lada tells me I can join the war. They will help my daughter to be safe. I can leave with her. I need to decide what is best for her."

The writing seems to stop for a few pages but continues, this time more erratic.

"I packed my things for Monika and I. We leave at dusk when Lada will pick us up. Havel is out at the pub and I don't know when he is back. If he comes home drunk before I leave I might not be able to sneak away. I am praying Lada will be here. She can't not be here. I'm scared and am shaking. If I don't write this down I'm scared no one will know. Monika is in the other room sleeping. I told her I need her to sleep so she can be ready tonight. I told her we are going on a trip and father is not coming. She cried and asked me why. I told her father is busy and he can't come but we will be back for him. The spark in her watered eyes when I told her we were coming back broke my heart. I lied to her. I never wanted to come back. I didn't want to leave but I need her to grow up right. She would cry when he hit me and I would tell her it was just a game. Just a game. Everything is just a game. I would go to the garden and cry until Havel came outside and dragged me in to cook his meal. I can't give him this anymore."

Near the bottom of the page there is bold writing in a different colour of ink.

"I am leaving. Lada is here. I am leaving."

The seems where the book is held together show a few pages have been torn out, only showing a few characters of each line that was written. Skipping over to the next full page, the man begins to read again. This time noticing a few circular water marks in the middle of the page over the writing but barely bleeding the ink. 

"It is cold and wet all the time. The rain never stops. My boots are pealing and I can barely hold them together. We're stationed in a city I've never seen before. Blahoslav told me to stay strong. I want to go anywhere but here. Starting to think living is not worth it. How can I even go home after what I've seen. I miss my daughter. I have not seen her since leaving training. I need to see her face and feel her hand. I need to know where they took her is safe. They never tell me. They never tell me anything. I am just a soldier in a war we're not winning. Most of us in my camp just want to see their family. An older woman, Stela, told me her and her husband had left for the war leaving their two sons behind. They were taken the same place my daughter was taken. Her husband is stationed at another camp far from us and they haven't spoken in weeks. Recently I have been talking to Stela about our children. Trying to give each other hope for our futures. All I have is hope. My daughter is the only hope I have left. My officer should be here soon and tell us what the fuck is going on."

Flipping to the back of the page, he notices the water marks have bled the ink on this side a lot more. The writing is bold and messy. In thick red ink it reads:

"A distress call was made from children's camp last night."

"Talking of creatures in the night breaking down the doors."

"I cannot sleep."

"I feel cold and cannot stop cry."

"My officer is trying to contact other camps with no response."

"He's been up all night on radio."

"All of us sit here and shiver."

"If I fall asleep I don't want wake up."

Closing the book not being able to read anymore, shaking from the passage he had just read, the man places it back into his bag. He makes his way to the front and back door of the home and locks both the best he can. Going back to the kitchen he stomps out the fire and leaves the ashes smoldering. Resting his head on his bag, he lays in silence trying to close his eyes long enough to drift asleep...

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I felt that this post was lonely and needed a comment.

Nice read. Where's part 2 only been 2 months.

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xIO_VAPEG0D_OIx    749

I felt that this post was lonely and needed a comment.

Nice read. Where's part 2 only been 2 months.

Nice meme.

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Clare    25

I felt that this post was lonely and needed a comment.

Nice read. Where's part 2 only been 2 months.

Ha ha ha... I mean there would be a part 2 if someone actually read it.

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I felt that this post was lonely and needed a comment.

Nice read. Where's part 2 only been 2 months.

Ha ha ha... I mean there would be a part 2 if someone actually read it.

You wound me. I will read

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