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SatansNightOut

How Do You Cope With Heartbreak...?

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SatansNightOut    105

After 8 years of being with the woman of my dreams, she's decided that she wants to move on and see other people. I know most---if not all---of us have been in love at some point, and some of us fall a lot more deeply than others.

Right now, I keep waking up feeling like I have no purpose and there's no reason to even get out of bed. I have constant anxiety, constantly on the verge of tears and I feel like I can't eat, sleep or even function.

I know people always say, "It'll take time, and you'll move on, even if it doesn't seem like that right now."

But the "right now" is the hardest part. Going to bed alone, waking up alone, and everything in between.

I'm trying hard to keep distracted and hoping my job calls me in for work, but in the meantime my idle thoughts and dwelling are intensely painful and so fucking hard to bear.

Please, tell me how you all have dealt with this sort of suffering in the past, and how you got through it... because even though I logically know it can and will get better, emotionally I'm a complete and utter fucking mess.

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Defiance    96

You really just have to ride it out, man. I'm sorry that happened to you.

I think it's good to be upset. At least you're feeling something as opposed to nothing. Being creative can really help. Do things that facilitate escapism to keep your mind off of things. Marijuana has helped me before in the past, but drugs and the sort aren't really going to compare to spending time with friends. Have someone take you out. Do you have anyone to talk to or spend time with? Keeping yourself cooped up inside isn't really going to help much. Exercise can be really useful as well.

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Shanoby    36

Well, different people deal with their emotions and problems differently. Thats why it is hard to give advice imo. Easiest and coldest awnser is try to deal with it.

There are some options like:

1. deal with it, aka let it all out, all that anger and emotions, (it is cheese but in one of the movies and I think it applies is it is like when someone dies. You will go through stages of grief, I think that is quite accurate). Try to let her go (thats the hardest part, cos thats why it hurts)

2. get shitfaced, not a good advice but works for some people. Bad side is, you might do stupid shit if your emotions are all over the place. (worked for me for one night but that was quick love and died as quick, so quick remedy worked aswell)

3. try to ignore and distract yourself... also not might be the best course of action but might work... might not.

I have tried to rationalize relationships for myself, if it does not work, it is better to move on than suffer and if you really love someone you will try to be understanding, put her before yourself but if she tries to crawl back remind her who left who. life goes on theres plenty of other fish out there yadayada( as much as it does not look like it.)

Yeah, clearly I'm not in relationship myself and prefer it that way. Hope it gives you some other perspective if not... sorry

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Defiance    96

I read The Hobbit after a rough break-up. I'd also recommend reading The Hobbit.

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SatansNightOut    105

I read The Hobbit after a rough break-up. I'd also recommend reading The Hobbit.

She just finished reading the hobbit... Literally Ike 3 days ago. Sigh.

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Defiance    96

I read The Hobbit after a rough break-up. I'd also recommend reading The Hobbit.

She just finished reading the hobbit... Literally Ike 3 days ago. Sigh.

Well, I'm just gonna get on outta here...

Good luck!

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SatansNightOut    105

I read The Hobbit after a rough break-up. I'd also recommend reading The Hobbit.

She just finished reading the hobbit... Literally Ike 3 days ago. Sigh.

Well, I'm just gonna get on outta here...

Good luck!

No, I appreciate the advice.. I do. 

It's just so rough because we also live together and I have no other options right now, unless I want to be homeless. So we have to see each other every day and that makes it intensely difficult.

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Heroz_Nick    21

~ Better to have loved and lost then never loved at all :/

not the best of quotes but you have to ride out the storm, to face the sunshine#.. stay strong

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Guest Yuri Ubiytsa   
Guest Yuri Ubiytsa

Get into sports like wrestling, football or just go to the nearest gym and lift.

Good way to let all the frustration and anger out.

So yea...

Sorry this happened to you

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Nocheluz    104

One of the oddest ways to help curb your thoughts and move forward is a little something I once was told by a woman who had suffered an unexpected break up. She cared very much for him, but knew she needed to move on. To help herself, she got a baby food jar and filled it with old cigarette butts. She then filled the jar about 1/4-1/3 of the way with water. She shook it up and let it set overnight.

Everytime she would feel depressed, sad or morose because of the break up, she'd open the jar and take a huge sniff of the nasty contents. That ugly smell helped her to remember what an ugly ordeal the break up was, how unfair he'd been to her and all the sacrifices she'd made for naught. Surprisingly, she slowly began to associate him and the past relationship with the smell, so that it didn't seem such a bad thing not to have to smell it or think about him any longer.

As I say, unorthodox as it is, it worked. I could give you lots of psychological tips and tricks, but there is just no easy way. As RedDefiant said, you just have to ride it out. Fill up your time with activities you enjoyed/still enjoy doing ALONE. And get that little jar and fill it up with ciggy butts and water. Simple trick that just may help you move on. Good luck, so sorry you're having to deal with this :(

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SatansNightOut    105

One of the oddest ways to help curb your thoughts and move forward is a little something I once was told by a woman who had suffered an unexpected break up. She cared very much for him, but knew she needed to move on. To help herself, she got a baby food jar and filled it with old cigarette butts. She then filled the jar about 1/4-1/3 of the way with water. She shook it up and let it set overnight.

Everytime she would feel depressed, sad or morose because of the break up, she'd open the jar and take a huge sniff of the nasty contents. That ugly smell helped her to remember what an ugly ordeal the break up was, how unfair he'd been to her and all the sacrifices she'd made for naught. Surprisingly, she slowly began to associate him and the past relationship with the smell, so that it didn't seem such a bad thing not to have to smell it or think about him any longer.

As I say, unorthodox as it is, it worked. I could give you lots of psychological tips and tricks, but there is just no easy way. As RedDefiant said, you just have to ride it out. Fill up your time with activities you enjoyed/still enjoy doing ALONE. And get that little jar and fill it up with ciggy butts and water. Simple trick that just may help you move on. Good luck, so sorry you're having to deal with this :(

Thank you. .. Odd advice but somehow it makes a ton of sense. It'd just be easier if I had somewhere else to live... Instead  of having to deal with her on a daily basis..

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Nocheluz    104

Thank you. .. Odd advice but somehow it makes a ton of sense. It'd just be easier if I had somewhere else to live... Instead  of having to deal with her on a daily basis..

Oh yeah that would definitely make things easier. If you are a position to take a small holiday, even if it's just a weekend, to go somewhere you can pamper yourself and see lots of new sights that would be good. You also might consider visiting friends out of town or your parents, just for a break away from dealing with her everyday. Good luck man, my <3 truly does go out to you.

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SatansNightOut    105

Thank you. .. Odd advice but somehow it makes a ton of sense. It'd just be easier if I had somewhere else to live... Instead  of having to deal with her on a daily basis..

Oh yeah that would definitely make things easier. If you are a position to take a small holiday, even if it's just a weekend, to go somewhere you can pamper yourself and see lots of new sights that would be good. You also might consider visiting friends out of town or your parents, just for a break away from dealing with her everyday. Good luck man, my <3 truly does go out to you.

I wish I had more options... But you're right. I need to get away... Do something. Thank you for being so kind... Crying helps a bit for now.

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Glenn    10

Drink a beer with my mates at the bar and then enjoy single life!

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Autumn    121

Music has always helped me cope. Sure most of my taste in music is somewhat... well not popular. (It's country.) But I also tend to write as well. I was in a relationship where a girl decided she just didn't want to do it anymore, didn't have feelings for me anymore, wanted to see other people and such. Not to mention this was during semester finals at University the night before my English exam (Still got an A on that exam so fuck her.).

The truth is, we all go through things like this and there is no full-proof cure for heartbreak, there never will be. 

We are also all different...

But try working out often, going out and keeping your mind busy with writing, music, drawing, painting. Sitting around waiting for work to keep you busy is relying on someone else. I don't want to be that guy, but take some initiative. Do something, anything, go swim! It's summer in the Northern Hemisphere (Assuming you are in the Northern Hemisphere.)

But just remember. You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.

o7 mate, we're all here for you.

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SatansNightOut    105

Music has always helped me cope. Sure most of my taste in music is somewhat... well not popular. (It's country.) But I also tend to write as well. I was in a relationship where a girl decided she just didn't want to do it anymore, didn't have feelings for me anymore, wanted to see other people and such. Not to mention this was during semester finals at University the night before my English exam (Still got an A on that exam so fuck her.).

The truth is, we all go through things like this and there is no full-proof cure for heartbreak, there never will be. 

We are also all different...

But try working out often, going out and keeping your mind busy with writing, music, drawing, painting. Sitting around waiting for work to keep you busy is relying on someone else. I don't want to be that guy, but take some initiative. Do something, anything, go swim! It's summer in the Northern Hemisphere (Assuming you are in the Northern Hemisphere.)

But just remember. You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.

o7 mate, we're all here for you.

Ugh. You're absolutely right. I just wish I had a female friend to hang out with and maybe rebound. Idfk. 

This is all just so fucking unreal.

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Autumn    121

-snip-

Ugh. You're absolutely right. I just wish I had a female friend to hang out with and maybe rebound. Idfk. 

This is all just so fucking unreal.

If life was predictable, it'd be boring. The good things will come in due time.

Perhaps it is a good time to begin clubbing it up?

Or barring it up?

Or something it up?

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Guest

Go to the gym. If you feel like eating for comfort, don't. It will probably fuck you up in the long run.

Oh, don't listen to depressing songs and shit, that really fucks you up emotionally.

I've never loved someone as a partner for 8 years so my advice probably means nothing. However, a couple of months ago, a mate I knew for 7 years committed suicide. It was hard, still is hard, you probably will try to forget as much as you can, but the pain never really leaves, it just gets.. easier to bare I guess.

I know its complete different ends of the spectrum but hey, it might help.

Good luck with it all.

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Don't define yourself upon the presence of another person in your life. Cherish the connection you had but don't make her the be all and end all.

There's plenty out there; there's gonna be a period where you have to get over it but then you're back on the horse and meeting incredible, beautiful new people the world has to offer.

Think of the next girl as an entirely new incredible person to be with. They might fuck better, tell funnier jokes or cook better food (who knows!)

My point is life is full of experiences and focus on this, as much as it hurts - as an opportunity to start a new chapter in life.

Putting on some Drake and having a big cry helps too.

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SatansNightOut    105

Don't define yourself upon the presence of another person in your life. Cherish the connection you had but don't make her the be all and end all.

There's plenty out there; there's gonna be a period where you have to get over it but then you're back on the horse and meeting incredible, beautiful new people the world has to offer.

Think of the next girl as an entirely new incredible person to be with. They might fuck better, tell funnier jokes or cook better food (who knows!)

My point is life is full of experiences and focus on this, as much as it hurts - as an opportunity to start a new chapter in life.

Putting on some Drake and having a big cry helps too.

This put it smile on my face. Thank you.

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Destinwolf    13

I'm sorry this has happened to you. I hope you can find comfort in your alone time. A lonely bed is the worst place to be at times, in my opinion.

I just got out of a relationship that lasted 5 years. I loved her everyday, and I still love her today. I have found comfort with someone else, a friend, that I can lie with and be intimate with. It helps me to have someone there that I can speak to about how I feel and not have to worry about any judgement. Not to say she is a rebound girl, or that I don't care for her, we are both in similar situations. Anyway, it helps to mend the brokenness that I often feel inside my body and soul. I'm not saying you should go out and pick up some stranger. I'm just saying maybe it would help to find someone you trust and can confide in, even if it's just temporary. Just someone to share a laugh with and to enjoy. Maybe even someone that is going through something similar as you. A broken heart often doesn't mend well on it's own.

Best of luck to you.

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R3ALBRETT    6

Just don't fall back on the negative things in life. Find a hobby to distract yourself or something along those lines. Good luck man, Heartbreak sucks.

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SatansNightOut    105

I'm sorry this has happened to you. I hope you can find comfort in your alone time. A lonely bed is the worst place to be at times, in my opinion.

I just got out of a relationship that lasted 5 years. I loved her everyday, and I still love her today. I have found comfort with someone else, a friend, that I can lie with and be intimate with. It helps me to have someone there that I can speak to about how I feel and not have to worry about any judgement. Not to say she is a rebound girl, or that I don't care for her, we are both in similar situations. Anyway, it helps to mend the brokenness that I often feel inside my body and soul. I'm not saying you should go out and pick up some stranger. I'm just saying maybe it would help to find someone you trust and can confide in, even if it's just temporary. Just someone to share a laugh with and to enjoy. Maybe even someone that is going through something similar as you. A broken heart often doesn't mend well on it's own.

Best of luck to you.

See, I wish I had a female friend that I could have that with, even if it's just temporary. Just having the comfort of another human being might make it all easier to bear.

In any case, thank you.


Just don't fall back on the negative things in life. Find a hobby to distract yourself or something along those lines. Good luck man, Heartbreak sucks.

Trying my best...and yeah, it really fucking does. -_-

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Guest

how to deal with heartbreak that's a tricky one. honestly when I get heart broken, I things I'm not exactly proud of. I get wasted more times than not, I hide in my room and watch videos all days and basically be a total slob. but fuck what people things, just do whatever it takes for you to feel better. if you're gonna head to a strip club or get wasted IMO just go for it. if it makes you feel better. honestly it's not good advice but as long as you keep it safe, it's fine. just don't do anything stupid.

the only thing that can truly heal a heartbreak is time, it may take a long time and you are in the hardest part. like shanoby said get shitfaced, try and think of something else.

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You always assume that it is your fault that it happens. You beat yourself up and you think that something about you needs to change, You smoke, and drink trying to erase that toxic feeling in your stomach and try to get rid of that image of her that's burned in your mind. You feel like dying, not suicidal but literally feel as if you are not you without the person.

This might go on for a few days, maybe a few weeks. Then one day you'll wake up and realize you need to move forward. You'll still miss her, but you'll function. Then you will meet somebody else, somebody different.

Shit might feel like it is falling apart, it's not. Cry your cries, or drink them away. Either way keep a rational head and you'll be alright m8.

If you need to talk I am around.

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