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Server time: 2018-07-23, 17:52 WE ARE RECRUITING

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All my life I was afraid, I was afraid of what other people thought of me, I was afraid of the law, I was afraid of the truth, I was afraid of myself.  All this changed when I lost what held my fragile life together, she was a married woman.  When I met her my mind ran wild with fantasies of what my life could be and what I could achieve if only I had tried hard enough.  Eventually things progressed… heh I remember the way she would smile when she saw me, The way she mispronounced my name from Felix to Felic and it made me feel… important.  This went on for almost a year and her husband had no idea, her husband seemed like a nice guy, it made me feel bad and it was tough looking him in the eyes and talking to him as if I was just another normal friend.  One day I bought her a present, it was a small box of gourmet chocolates, small enough to fit in my jacket pocket.  I marched up to the door of their cozy cabin in the woods and I knocked on the door with the happiest look on my face, her husband opened the door abruptly, I was shocked at what I saw, his shirt  was soaked with blood.  I hit him pretty hard and knocked him down and quickly ran upstairs and noticed a hammer with blood and hair on the floor.  I sprinted into their bedroom and saw my lover with blood streaming down her temple crawling on the floor towards me, I tried to help her up but as I bent down a lantern shattered against the wall and the room was engulfed in fire, I looked back at the doorway and her husband was standing there.

 By feeling the rising heat from the floor I figured out he had set the bottom floor on fire before he came up, the look on his face was like no other, he jumped on top of me and began to start punching me in the face, punch after punch after punch.  I managed to grab a piece of wood on fire and swung it at his head and knocked him out, I quickly turned around back to my lover, “Jessica!” I kept screaming, the smoke was thick in the room and it was hard to breathe, I finally found her amidst the chaos and there I saw it, my lover, my only lover I will ever have was on the floor, engulfed in flames, I bent down and turned her on her back I saw the look on her face, it wasn’t love like it is in the movies, It was the look of terror and death. I still remember her face to this day, It haunts my mind at night.  It’s the last thing I remember, I jumped out the window or maybe her husband pushed me out. I confessed to one of my best friends who happened to be a preacher, he told me to confess to god and seek forgiveness from him, but I never did anything to him why should I go to him for forgiveness.  I built a small house in the woods 32 miles away from the nearest town, I sentenced myself to solitary confinement for the next 12 years, no human contact, nothing, no friends, just me.  Some nights I can't sleep, Some nights I do, and just sometimes Jessica lies beside me.

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