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Marcunt

Is my character (and its backstory) too cliché?

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Marcunt    240

Hey guys.

Before I give you my character's story, I gotta say... I'm not a great writer, so don't expect anything spectacular.

I would appreciate it if you guys would tell me what's bad and good about my character's story!

"Before the infection, Tony Hernandes was part of a motorcycle gang, going by the name of "Nuevos Anarquistas MC" in New Mexico. They were for the most part in the arms dealing business, but from time to time they also sold methamphetamine.

Tony was more or less part of the backup, or reinforcement rather, in case something went wrong during a negotiation with another gang, which it did quite often.

A week before the first few people got infected, the Anarquistas went with their allies, "Lost Mayhem MC", to Chernarus. There they would sell rifles to the russians.

They would be spending most of their time in bars, and by the docks in cities like Elektrozavodsk and Chernogorsk. And since they don't know russian themselves, they wouldn't know anything about the infection until it reached Chernogorsk.

After the huge fire in Chernogorsk, they decided it was best to head outside the big cities, to avoid all of the chaos until they could get out of Charnarus. That time never came. By that time the borders were blocked by the military, many of the gang members began fighting about what to do, and soon turned on eachother.

Tony chose to stick with Peirce, a member of Lost Mayhem MC, just like many others decided to stick together in little groups, eventually going their own ways.

What happened to the others is unknown, but one thing is certain. Tony and Peirce are facing the battle of a lifetime. A battle that won't end without death as its winner. A battle for survival."

Once again, I told you it wouldn't be great, but then again, english isn't my native language and it makes it quite a challenge to write an intriguing story.

I hope you enjoyed it at least a little bit.

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Unknown Entity    126

IMO it's been done, but it's not that much of a cliché.

I'd however add in a lot of detail. Maybe little "memories" your character would have (a deal that went wrong, an old lover, stuff like that). This would help greatly with some campfire RP and also in your charcacters attitude (depending on what he did in X or Y situations in the past for example).

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Marcunt    240

IMO it's been done, but it's not that much of a cliché.

I'd however add in a lot of detail. Maybe little "memories" your character would have (a deal that went wrong, an old lover, stuff like that). This would help greatly with some campfire RP and also in your charcacters attitude (depending on what he did in X or Y situations in the past for example).

Yeah, maybe I rushed through it a bit too much... I'm still not very experienced with this whitelist system they got going on. I don't really know how much time I need to put into it, as I'm a pretty lazy guy, hehe.

I'll try much harder if I don't get in the first time! I don't give up easily.

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Pussy    382

I'd like to first off say that for English not being your native language, you have done a far better job articulating yourself than a good portion of the people who apply here... so I applaud you for that c:

Second of all, while the application is kind of cliché and overdone, it's not a bad back story for a first character. Remember this is your first character, and you're still learning about what you like and don't like. I say play this guy out for a while, and if you think you could really thrive with a better character, then go ahead and do that! Nice thing is that you can kill off characters as you see fit.

Good luck!

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Davos    5

Second of all, while the application is kind of cliché and overdone, it's not a bad back story for a first character. Remember this is your first character, and you're still learning about what you like and don't like. I say play this guy out for a while, and if you think you could really thrive with a better character, then go ahead and do that! Nice thing is that you can kill off characters as you see fit.

I agree with Kattica mate, although I find it odd to find people selling arms to Russians, and not buying from them which is what usually happens. But if you want to play a tough biker, more power to you man, just happy to see a civilian.

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DocHarper    0

I like it. I agree that more detail would be awesome to get to know your character and set them apart from others to make it it less "cliche" (though I've seen more doctors then bikers :) ), but it's pretty cool. Can't wait to see more of Tony.

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Marcunt    240

I like it. I agree that more detail would be awesome to get to know your character and set them apart from others to make it it less "cliche" (though I've seen more doctors then bikers :) ), but it's pretty cool. Can't wait to see more of Tony.

I agree 100% with what all of you are saying, I'm not really sure what happened as I wrote his backstory. Maybe it was the desperation an excitement that made me want to get in as quickly as possible?

Anyways, if I don't get in I'll keep developing him so he won't just be the typical biker you always see. I want him to be special. Unique. :)

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