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ScarletWolf21

The Diary of Renee, for Anyone to Find

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"I once had a therapist tell me that writing in a diary was good for the heart and soul...Therapeutic... Keeps you from loosing your mind in times of great struggle. I was never able to put my anger on paper at the time of his death. Instead, I did art as my escape. So...I guess now, art isn't very practical for my mental stability, so I'll- try this. I guess it's never too late to try something, right? If anyone does find this, my name is Renee Kane, or Ren I guess if I had any friends to call me that. I've been in Russia for...How long has it been? Five years, two years, pre Zom, and three during....It's been a hell of a time, with nothing to show for it...I wonder if the US has been taken over by this sick reanimation shit- I wonder if my mom is still thinking about me, or if she's even alive...Does she even know what's happening here? I still have my passport on me~ my first drivers license that is expired by now. I guess it helps me think that- Maybe I'm actually asleep..Maybe it's all a dream and when my tour of Russia times out, I'd be able to go home to my old life...But no matter how many times I pinch myself, it's still the same... The same loop of daily life happening again and again, struggling to just live another day. I hope- It will change..."

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Matt    21

Hmm very good story and liking the passport :)

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Rezaak    1

Very well written and interesting story! It's good to see some quality writers out there, you know? Plus, as was stated before in a previous post, the passport was a really nice touch. I have absolutely no qualms with the story itself, but I do think the formatting could use some work, if you don't mind me saying.

I'd like to preface this by saying that I am in no way any kind of professional writer, or even an experienced one, so take my advice with a grain of salt, or ignore it completely if you'd like. This is all personal preference/opinion.

There's just two things I'd advise for your future posts:

1.) Only use ellipses, dashes, etc. on dialogue-based stories. I feel these markings should be used in a verbal story, e.g. radio transmissions, voice recording and the like, to show pauses in dialogue for ellipses, or changes in thought patterns for dashes. (Kinda like switching gears, if that makes any sense) So it seems like it would be more natural for stories in writing, such as a journal as is the case here, to not use them, since most people wouldn't put ellipses and such in their own writing. (As far as I know, anyway)

2.) Add line breaks (enter twice) where it makes sense. Line breaks make stories easier to read and follow, and are generally a good idea to use on any forum post. An example of a good place for a line break is after this sentence:

I guess it's never too late to try something' date=' right?[/quote']

That should give you an idea of where you should place them. (Think of it as breaking your story into paragraphs) Just use common sense, and you'll be fine.

I really hope to see some more top notch story telling from you soon!

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