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Server time: 2018-06-19, 12:01

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Mr. Pink

My journal...

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I have never done this before, but I need to talk to someone, to something. Maybe writing my thoughts will help, probably not. Anyway, this is my story...

I woke up in this hell... let me back up. I was from Texas... I am from Texas; my father, and his father before that were cattle ranchers. I grew up in the country, on a ranch, learning to hunt and shoot and appreciate God and country. I learned the value of a hard days work, and how to live off the land. I was very active in my church throughout high school and once I graduated, I volunteered to do missionary work, I'm not smart enough for college so this was the best option. I traveled the world: Mexico City, San Paulo, Bangkok, Singapore, Istanbul, and finally Severograd.

This is where I woke up. I woke up in this hell. At first, a large group of missionaries and refugees held up in a large church. I think it was a Catholic church. We didn't know what was going on; they just ushered us into the church and barred the doors. The rumors were that it was religious persecution and that it was WWIII. I guess the latter is more accurate.

We lasted about a week before the lack of food and clean water turned everyone against each other. I don't know what happened that night, if someone was trying to get out, or if they were trying to kill us all, but they let them in. I can still hear the screaming in my head, I can still feel the panic. Why didn't I do more? There was a little girl name Aleksei. She was screaming as they came in, that is what woke me up; her screams saved my life. They were too fast back then. At first I thought they were just sick; I thought that they were God's creatures and could be healed; they could be forgiven. I also believed in the goodness of man; I was so naive. It is when I saw them, with no life in their eyes, tearing this sweet little girl apart and feasting on her flesh, that I realized that they were damned...

I made it out. No wait... we made it out. My girlfriend Karen, Dave, my youth pastor, and his wife Chrissy. I immediately took charge and ushered us out of the city. The way I saw it, we were safer in the woods. We could wait this epidemic out. Surely someone would find a cure, or a way to contain these things. About a half mile outside of town we found an abandoned castle to hold up in. It was close enough that when they did come to rescue those still alive we could hear them, but far enough away that hopefully the infected would stay away. We would be safer if we avoided the city. We were peaceful, we couldn't kill even if these things were no longer children of God. We thought we would be safe there.

We lasted two months. Two months! Chrissy was the first. The damn winter wouldn't let me trap or hunt. I was useless; I couldn't provide. I will never forgive myself. She died in her sleep from malnutrition or the cold, at least that is what I want to think. Maybe Dave couldn't take it and killed her. A mercy killing? That is what Karen tried to convince me. I guess it doesn't matter. Karen. Damn it, Karen! Why you? Why did you have to die? I loved you! I love you. I'm rambling... After Chrissy died, we knew we had to find food or die.

We moved into Gvozdno thinking we could get in and out. Clean. There was a supermarket there. Maybe it had some food that was not looted; maybe we could survive. Karen's head was blown off when we opened the door to the market. That damned woman just shot; they always just shoot. Dave tackled the woman and in my rage I wanted to kill her; I needed to kill her. Dave tied the woman up with an extension cord and turned his attention to me. He quoted Bible verses to me and prayed that the Lord would take my anger. He didn't. We found two cans of food: a can of sardines and a can of baked beans. I hate fish, so I took half of the beans. I was disgusted to see Dave sharing his food with that woman. She had just killed the love of my life, and here he is feeding her?! I felt so betrayed. It was if he chose her over me; I know, it is stupid now, but that is how I felt. Anyway, the shots attracted uninvited guests. We heard the groans coming in fast, so it wasn't hard to convince Dave that I was more suited to carry the gun. There was only one shell in the gun, and only one place I was going to put it. I raised the barrel of that sawed-off shotgun and fired. Dave jumped in front of that bitch. In that moment I became a murderer. I killed Dave; there, I said it, are you happy now? I killed him; I killed one of the best people I have ever known. I don't even know her name. I left that whore there, bound and with no escape. When they came in I stomped down on her leg as hard as I could. I heard the bones crack. This would distract them. I had to survive. I have to survive.

I am careful now. I watch. I don't trust people, and they shouldn't trust me. It's all about survival now. No one is coming, there is no good left in this world. I travel light, nothing and no one to drag me down. There is no food left in the towns, no animals to hunt; well, just one. I stick to the outskirts, but sometimes the hunger is too much and I venture in. I have to survive... I am a sinner. I'm probably going to hell anyway... besides, it is us who is damned, not them...

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