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Server time (UTC): 2021-12-08 04:15

How I came to be known as Raihje.


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It's been a long trip. Too long. What was supposed to be a wonderful

tour of some quiet Russian soil, turned into a long nightmare.

Being a Canadian I know how to use a map and compass, hell I knew people who

actually used the stars to navigate like the old times. Nothing could have

prepared me for what happened.

I knew the airport didn't seem right, too much military

presence. "It's just Russia, don't worry" people constantly consoled me.

No, I felt nervous, hunted even. I haven't felt like that since the second grade,

when I was the underdog of the whole school. I showed them, I showed them that when you're

angry enough, you can do things you never knew you were capable of. It's such an

adrenaline rush being so angry you feel nothing, the world becomes dark around you, you

see nothing but targets and people are soon afraid of you. This, of all things, is my self

defense system. I feel nothing; only anger. I hear nothing; only the silence of pain.

I see nothing; only those who have hurt me and I will repay in time.

Sometimes I swear these hopeless husks of what's left of our sad race are even afraid of me

as I drive my hatchet deep into their dull skulls. I watch their brains pour out on pavement and

wonder. "Who were these people, am I killing a doctor? A waitress? these people must have had

lives." I feel remorse for killing them, but I know that to cling to my pacifist nature is suicide.

This is the world now: dead. What about my girlfriend; my family? How has Canada faired?

I bet the States flooded the bridge trying to get away from another one of their mistakes, their

creations. They're always looking to kill people, and the world; why? What drives them to hate

humanity so much?

I wonder as I write this in my little journal I brought with me to document this trip, I don't

know what happened to our plane, but I'm in a strange land with people who are more likely to

shoot me then try to rebuild society. But I can use them, I can make them point their guns

at my enemies. I have something to offer in return, companionship. Before you laugh, think

about it. This world is lonely, desolate, humans are sociable creatures. We literally

require communication with one another to avoid going insane. I want to end this disease,

this insanity.

So as this AK lands cold beside me in my tent, loaded, I listen through the rain. I listen

for a primal scream in fear, or hunger. I don't care which anymore I want to help them. I

feel sorry for them. The greatest mercy for them at this point is death, and thanks to Russia's

love of guns; I have what I need to bring that cure.

I can just see the dim orange of the sun rising and I know not to move until my gun is warm.

Then it will be daylight and I can try and run for more supplies. These damn signs make no sense,

my dual-language dictionary is gone. Everything is gone. I am gone. This world has all gone to

hell.

Deep breaths to avoid letting the feeling of hopelessness take me over. Why, why does this world

have to be so fucked up!? What did these people do to deserve this! Why didn't the U.N. stop

this? Biological warfare was ruled out in World War 2! Rawwrawr! More deep breaths, damn I

wasted ammunition. I made noise. I must keep cool, or risk being shot by some of the high

powered rifles I've seen here and there.

My AK is warm, time to take my anger out on the masses.

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