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Tomeran

TEFN Radio, 80.5.

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Tomeran    3

((TEFN Radio is an IC alternative to the lore broadcasts, and is meant to be something a little more interactive. "Archie" however is a bit of an asshole and the regular(or irregular, depending on how much time I have) broadcasts will feature a lot of profanity, ridicule of groups, nations or people in general and pretty much be a smarmy "dark comedy" twist of the lore. It is a later darker incarnation of the CTC broadcasting services, which never took off properly due to the decline and death of the mod.

Keep in mind everything said in this radio chat is IC and has IC motivations only.

People can send in their own replies and talk to Archie if they wish, and ask him questions. Be prepared however that Archie never learned proper etiquette. At all. Dont take his IC grumpyness personally. ))

*The old empty 80.5 frequency used to sit abandoned, filled with nothing but static. But lately its been occupied by strange regular transmissions: The wild ravings of "TEFN Radio."*

Transmission 1

"Welcome ya miserable fuckheads of the apocalyptic wasteland, to "The End is Extremly Fucking Nigh-radio, the deliverer of your daily dosage of depression, appropriate music and mad ravings.

I am your host, Archibald "Travesty" McMerrit. Yes, you're perfectly permitted to make fun of the name. But by doing so I reserve my right to show up at your doorstep with a meat cleaver.

As this is the very first transmission, I feel it imperative to hold some sort of basic explanation of what im doing here and what this is, just so you slugheads dont get the wrong idea.

I like to talk, okay? I like to rant, even. I also hear a lot, having a whole fuckin' network of radios and equipment set up in me little shack. I use that equipment to talk to people, to keep mah ear to the ground so to speak and to keep in touch with the local population as well as survivors from all over the planet.

b02c6d8141.jpg

Lots of radios. How did he find all this?

*Archibald does poor fake russian accent* "But Archie, where are you transmitting from? You need to pay popular people liberation tax and adjust radio programme so it suits proper purpose etc."

"Well fuck off Boris. Ya see this is why I wont share my location. I aim to tell ya the truth, fair'n'square. That might piss some people off, c'us *Jack Nicholson voice* "YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Thus, cranky fuckheads get cranky, and wanna know where I am, so they can shut me off. Well, that aint gonna happen. Ye cant trace this, although yer certainly welcome to try. In the apocalypse, the truth needs a voice and im that fuckin' voice! So yeah rejoice! For the voice! Although I suppose that's yer choice!"

"Of course I wont just blabber about, I'll also play music. And I mean real music, not that modern twerky twerky bullshit where its all about how much an "artist" can brag about their genitals or their urge for others and their genitals. Seriously, todays fucking kids and their music."

"Here's ya go, a little taste of the good stuff."

*a song begins playing over the radio: The sound is surprisingly high quality*

[mp3]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/107470934/Mr.%20Sandman%20-%20The%20Chordettes.mp3[/mp3]

"Bambambambambam. There ya go, kids. That's how its done!"

"...Oh right, news. Im suppose to do that too. Fortunetly for me, I dont do all this crap alone. I got a few volunteers out there "in the field" helping me gather some news and/or juicy gossip. Ya know, shit that I can use, stuff that I cant pick up over the radio waves."

"So what's new in the Zagorian wasteland? Well, the prison I suppose. I mean the prison itself isnt new, of course not ye dumbwits. But it seems people recently discovered it: "Oh hey, there's a huge-ass island over there with a prison on it. I didnt see that before." Well maybe you need a pair o' fucking glasses the lot o' ya.

Regardless, its there, and people are taking a rather keen interest to it. Why that is beats me: last I heard its just a hunk o' concrete with nothing really useful in'it. I mean its a prison. But yeah, bunch o' people fighting over it, regurly. If ye got to go there, and I guess ye gotta swim there you crazy sod since working boats are as rare as fresh cadbury eggs around here, then watch your arse. Its the new Green Mountain these days. Or at least its slowly turning into it."

"Funny wherever people turn to settle down, they attract other knobhead survivors that show up 'n' fuck up the place. Yet another reason for me to never tell ye where I am. Nyah nyah, cant find me."

"As for "Global News": I heard some militaries out there are still in the fight. Obviously they're getting their arses kicked, but at least they still exist. I heard the jerries and the french are still at it. Surprised the later hasnt surrendered yet.

Other then that, the US military is considering nuking their own territory to stop the hordes of zekes. I guess noone can accuse them for overusing their braincells too much. I mean they must've seen how effective that was for Pakistan, India and China, three countries that have already used nukes and which made absolutly zero fuckin' difference except poisoning their own country.

And yeah, none o' the shit those nukes tossed up has reached us yet. Yet being the operative word. I'd stock up on gasmasks and anti-rad meds though if I were you. Just in case."

9e2e1b503a.jpg

Yes, because this was totally a great idea.

So yeah, gloomy huh? Well too bad. If you wanted to tune into a radio station because you wanted a shoulder to cry on, keep tunin'! I aint no fuckin' shoulder or any other bodypart. I deliver the truth, and the truth can be hard!

If I caused you to cry already, ya big babies, dont fret. Listen to this instead.

*another song starts to play, again with (sound) quality that certainly is on par with the radio stations of old*

[mp3]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/107470934/Sing%20Sing%20Sing%20-%20Benny%20Goodman.mp3[/mp3]

"Now I may be an impeccable man of taste, but im also a man o' the people! So while the show is already perfect as it is, I figured perfection is so bloody boring. Lets pollute it with other people, why the fuck not. Thus you peasants, ye can call in and ask Archie anything ye wish! Rumours, gossip, news. Is yer neighbour screwing your sister? Is he a cannibal? Has the US nuked themselves yet? Is Iceland as safe as they say? Any question work! Tune in to 80.4 and ask away over radio and I'll reply. If I can be bothered."

"This is Archibald "Travesty" McMerrit and TEFN Radio, 80.5. Thank you for listening, and for fuck sake, try to stay alive. It would be god damned boring if I was the only one that made it through the apocalypse."

((Replies to this particular transmission will be open until the next one begins.))

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Guest Likurja   
Guest Likurja

*Viktor smiles on the funny man's transmission then begins to speak in his radio in slight Chernarussian accent*

Thats probally the one of the best things I have heard in months... uhm old man.... I guess your old yes?

What is this music is it from like fucking Soviet times?

Anyway oldman Traversty you know anything about a bunch of autistic fucks who follow some pagan god named the Maker? Those fucks really need to get whats comming for them now. Bah, rohadt kurvák.

*Viktor finnishes his transmission and makes himself comfortable on his couch in his house.*

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Tomeran    3

-snip-

*the reply is almost instant. Clearly Archie doesnt have that many listeners or people willing to talk to him. Wonder why.*

"S...soviet music?! That's the fucking chordettes and Benny Goodman! I've cut people's legs off using nothing but a spoon for less verbal atrocities!

...But alright ya sly fuck, you asked a question and since im a man of the people, I'll reply. *a long slow sigh is heard*

...I've heard of the people you're talking about. Or rather, my people have heard. I think they're one of those crazy bunch o' fucks that have an interest in the prison. At least they've been spotted there. Maybe they came from there, maybe they just wanna hold up there, maybe they just visit the place for victims, who knows. But I also heard from a friend that you might have luck finding these fucks either in Novy or in Green Mountain. But a word of warning...and yes consider yourself extremly fucking you're getting this warning at all..*mutters about insults to music taste*...these guys are fucking nuts. As in a grade above the usual nutters in the wasteland. I heard a rumour from a guy who heard a rumour that they cut someone's nutsack off just for speaking up against their "Maker", and then they burned him on the stake.

Who knows if that's true, but there's plenty o' verbal stories enough goin' around that these guys arent your pleasant do-gooders. Run into these folks and you better watch your arse. Unless you're hunting them, in which case I hope you at least kill a few of'em before you die.

Cant say I know more "definate" then that, as said they're fuckin' lunitics and dangerous as hell, so...not the easiest group to gather lots of information about.

((Just a footnote: IC information on groups may or may not be correct. Dont take anything you hear from Archie as definate truth. ))

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ice126    0

* After hearing the transmission John decides to reply *

"Have any Pink Floyd around that old station Archie? That would do little old me a world of good if you could get anything from Dark side of the Moon, Wish You Were Here or The Wall....Just send it my way..you may even get a faithful subscriber to your news station after haha".

* John Ends the transmission with a sad smile across his lips in reverence of times past *

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DanielsTV    6

*He grabs his radio as he lays down in bed in the house in Zelengorsk. After listening to the transmission and the wonderful songs (where he danced a bit), he lets out a chuckle and a smile arises, so he decides to respond*

"Well buddy, you are one of the people I have been longing for, not me to hear, but for others to hear. I do believe there is no hope in fixing the world, but hope in living and making a... err.. community that starts the world back up again, something tribal to be honest. Others do believe that it can be cured and that the world can be returned to its normal state, so they need to hear this! We're not getting out of this country, unless your lucky and determined, and if you do the rest of the world fucked itself up side down anyways, so what's the point? "Let's go to a place with a bigger population and worse people to survive!" Thank you for the music though, that was a refresher, but I'd oughta be going now, I need to start heading away from Zeleno bout now. Thank you.. and bye Mr. Archibald. I may still be in contact.. *He clicks the button off then quickly back on again* "Oh, and my name is Frank Thompson, but you can call me Daniels"

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Subso    0

He picks up his Radio from the table and starts to talk

"Nice music you got there and thats what we needed in this country - some good music and some news n´ truth.

Does anyone know if that nukin is effective in removing those sick people? And where I can find a shitload of anti radiation tablets and a gasmask with fitler? Because if the nukes work we will have them here too -

Eh... do you know anything about... high risk areas? Like infected hordes or bandit strongholds?

A click and he puts the radio back on the table

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Tomeran    3

((sorry for the delay in reply, fellas. Been a busy few days))

* After hearing the transmission John decides to reply *

"Have any Pink Floyd around that old station Archie? That would do little old me a world of good if you could get anything from Dark side of the Moon, Wish You Were Here or The Wall....Just send it my way..you may even get a faithful subscriber to your news station after haha".

* John Ends the transmission with a sad smile across his lips in reverence of times past *

"A floyed fan eh? Ah why the fuck not. "

*there's a bit of rustle noise in the background for up to half a minute, along with some intermittent cursing*

"Aw hell, where'd ah put it?...there it is!"

"Here ya go. Enjoy son!"

[mp3]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/107470934/Pink%20Floyd%20-%20Wish%20You%20Were%20Here.mp3[/mp3]

-snip-

"Right. Tribal communities, all that bullshit. Ya know how that's gonna end up, right? People fuckin' eatin' each other and whatnot. When cornered and facin' bad times, people turn to bullshit whom give them the patsies that they need so they can feel better about themselves. Thus, people turn on each other. "Its their fault, its your mom's fault, I dont like your face!" etc etc. In the end of it, people are like a pack of rabid dogs: Put a lot o' those together and you know what happens. My advice Frank: Just trust yerself and maybe the guy next to ya. The bigger the bunch ya run with, the bigger the chance someone's gonna stab ye in the back."

He picks up his Radio from the table and starts to talk

"Nice music you got there and thats what we needed in this country - some good music and some news n´ truth.

Does anyone know if that nukin is effective in removing those sick people? And where I can find a shitload of anti radiation tablets and a gasmask with fitler? Because if the nukes work we will have them here too -

Eh... do you know anything about... high risk areas? Like infected hordes or bandit strongholds?

A click and he puts the radio back on the table

"Nukin'? Effective? You realize what a fuckin' nuke does, right?

Sure, you'll insta-fry a whole bunch of'em, but so what? You poison half your country in the process, until the winds carry the crap over to the rest of the country. Its a solution based on givin' yerself a few more days of not being eaten so you can die of radiation sickness a little later. Whoop-di-fucking-doo.

Humanity never was very good at thinking far ahead. Just the fact that every single fuckin' person on the planet wanted to consume as much resources as possible and wanted to have it all...when there was 7 billion of us, sorta shows that "foresight" is an alien word that people wont get even if you drill it into their cortex."

Cant expect a race with such profound flaws to make it in the long run: Nature's a hard fuckin' bitch, and humanity's been bound for extinction even before the virus came. The said virus just speeded things up a bit.

Of course one can always argue: "But we can change!" Yeah. Good fuckin' look wi' that! Most people find change a bunch o' bullshit, at least if they themselves have to sacrifice stuff for it. "Aw hell naw!" they go, even when the consequenses o' their choice are blatantly obvious. Tha's humanity for ya. A bunch o' greedy self-entitled stubborn arseholes that will doom their own kids to torment if it means they can have a bit o' extra comfort for a little while longer. I call it the "ostrich-mentality". I'll let you figure out why.

As for places to find rad meds, fuck I dont know. Im not a doctor and im not sitting with a map of all the local hospitals or field treatment centers. just look around whatever medical places that hasnt been looted bone-dry already I guess, maybe ye get lucky.

And regarding hotspots? Last I heard t'was only a handful o' nukes going off, so its not like total nuclear apocalypse yet. Still, that shit's bound to travel around. Pakistan's the closest place ah' guess, unless Russia suddenly descides that the caucasus is too ugly and needs a face change, Tsar Bomba-style. When, how or where those clouds will show up...I have no fuckin' idea. Not yet at least. Tha's one o' the reason you need to listen to ol' Archie. I'll keep you posted I will, being the public servant that I am.

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ice126    0

((sorry for the delay in reply, fellas. Been a busy few days))

* After hearing the transmission John decides to reply *

"Have any Pink Floyd around that old station Archie? That would do little old me a world of good if you could get anything from Dark side of the Moon, Wish You Were Here or The Wall....Just send it my way..you may even get a faithful subscriber to your news station after haha".

* John Ends the transmission with a sad smile across his lips in reverence of times past *

"A floyed fan eh? Ah why the fuck not. "

*there's a bit of rustle noise in the background for up to half a minute, along with some intermittent cursing*

"Aw hell, where'd ah put it?...there it is!"

"Here ya go. Enjoy son!"

[mp3]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/107470934/Pink%20Floyd%20-%20Wish%20You%20Were%20Here.mp3[/mp3]

* While preparing a nice meal of cooked rice, peppers and fish, John hears the transmission start with his requested song which he proceeds to Liston to.....after some time of eating and listening in silence a single tear rolls down his face. He decides to thank the strange disk -jockeys kindness *

" I can't thank you enough Sir, That did me a world of good right there. You into and classic country/folk music or got anything of that matter? Gordon lightfoot rings a bell or maybe something older like Marty Robbins...Oooo Ya Robbins sounds great maybe that old classic Big Iron or whatever. "

* John proceeds to finish his meal and waits for his new found friends response *

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Herico    33

*A winey Australian accent breaks the silence*

"Oi, you! You seem to fucking know everything. Then tell me, who the FUCK keep stealing my truck!? I park it on the sidewalk, go take a drink or eat something and then BAM! Truck is gone! Actually, it seems to happen on a very regular basis! Is there a group of clockwork truck stealing ninjas or some shit in this country? Please tell me! I’m fucking sick of running everywhere!"

*The voice cuts out*

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Krullin    0

*A man with an odd accent begins broadcasting*

Wait.... So you mean to tell me.. that my home country... MY BLOODY HOME is the safest place on the planet?? And I'm stuck HERE?? God jesús fukkin' ANDSKOTANS!! THE ONLY REASON I'M FUCKIN' HERE IS BECAUSE I FUCKIN' OVER SLEPT AND THAT FUCKIN' PILOT LEFT ME!! GOD DAMN I..*A large cracking sound overwhelms the ensuing curse words* ... oh great no my raZzzzZzzzz

*The transmission cuts out.*

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Brad    155

Clyde keys his radio:

Damn, you may be the last DJ in the known world Archie...Got any Johnny Cash? That would make Clyde mighty happy, fella.

He lets go of the button and looks back at the book he was reading.

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