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Server time (UTC): 2022-09-27 02:22

Thank You


Franklin

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  • Sapphire

I don't know if this is the right place to put this but, I'd like to say thank you. If you're wondering why I am saying this it's because I haven't really been myself lately. At home my family don't understand me. They ask why I talk to people on the internet and why not go and hang out with real people instead the talking to people on the computer.

I am not trying to make people feel sympathy for me, I just want to share and get it out of my system. Almost 2 years ago I had an operation on my spine. It wasn't nice and I had to go through a tonne of therapy and medication. Ever since then life has been different for me. I regularly do sports any more, I don't get involved with people at school etc. etc. But everything changed when I joined this community. I have made many friends here and you all have been here for me, even if you didn't realise it. You are like a second family. I care about those I know around here even though it might seem weird but it's the truth.

Recently, not long ago. I have been experiencing some 'mood swings' so to speak. I have felt the need to suicide which is my last thing I want to think about. When I'm in bed, I cry myself to sleep most times. I think of my family and friends, and how they don't understand me, how they don't accept me or who I am. My life hasn't been the way I wanted it to be. All I want to do is my own thing, not be bossed around and be treated like shit. I do love my family, but sometimes I don't want to see or speak to them.

I won't say any more as I am tearing up a little whilst writing this.

To all that I know, friend or someone I have spoken to once or twice. I thank you for being there. I thank you for being a true friend and making me cheer up and be happy about myself.

Thank you all. You are all great people and I'm glad I have come across all of you. You are my true real friends. <3 <3

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  • Titanium

<3

Don't feel afraid to speak with me if you need help man. We're all here for you, even if we are just voices on a computer :P Sometimes the voices on your computer are the most reasonable.

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  • Emerald

Hey dude if you ever want to talk just ask mate I treat everyone on dayzrp like a close friend and if they are ever down and sad I will be there to cheer you up :)

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  • Emerald

Iv'e been through similar things. At the end of the day you need to make yourself happy first. If people cant get on board with that then to hell with em', they'll come around eventually when they realize that you're perfectly fine doing what you like. I can relate, it sucks when it feels like your family has this image of what you SHOULD be doing, but overall they just want you to be doing something you love and taking care of yourself. Not to mention it's hard for parents to understand that with technology today it's much easier to make great friends with people whom you may have never met.

Just keep doing you man, if it pisses them off so be it, you'll probably be in a position to go off on your own anyway soon enough. Then they will realize that you will be fine doing what you like.

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  • Sapphire

You are awesome Franklin. Always very cool on the forums, and you create awesome avatars and signatures for people out of the goodness of you heart.

PM me anytime fella. You rock!

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  • Sapphire

You are awesome Franklin. Always very cool on the forums, and you create awesome avatars and signatures for people out of the goodness of you heart.

PM me anytime fella. You rock!

hehe, thanks man. And if I do need to talk with you I'll sure PM you. That goes for the others that have replied too. Thanks guise :) <3

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  • Sapphire

Franklin, I know how you feel about this because I am also pretty much in the same boat with you. Even though we are on the other side of the world, you know you can count on me if you want to talk about something. I am there if you ever need somebody to talk to :)

Just remember, keep doing what makes you happy. That is what keeps you going. If others don't want you to do something that makes you happy, don't listen to them. What makes you happy, is important.

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  • Emerald

[video=youtube]

But being serious here, I know what you are going through as I too at one point thought about suicide, but you know what stopped me...my fear of failure. If I went through with that it would mean I failed at life, and all the people who ever told me I wouldn't make it would have been right. If people IRL can't understand you then they are missing out on something amazing. You are a good friend Franklin, I don't have any real life friends outside of my family and most of my friends are in this community and I consider you one of them...remember we as human being are natural overcomers, meaning that we are born to succeed and excel in all that we do...I love you bro...stay up:)

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Suicide is never the answer brah, even if you don't feel like people understand they will be hurt if you leave like that, trust me. It's not worth it, think about the life you could have ahead of you. Hell, you could win the lottery. You could get a job earning a huge ass salary.

We don't know one another, but I'm here if you ever feel like talking buddddaaaay.

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  • Sapphire

@Masulii, Thanks man. I've known you for a while now and you are a great guy, thanks for being here for me <3 It's tough to be in a situation like this. It's not like my parents don't give a crap about me. My dad and I share similar hobbies. My Mum can be a little bit of an ass, but I love them (Plus I live in a Greek household which is always screaming and yelling). I don't feel as if I am living with strangers. It's more they don't the reasons why I do these things.

@Jack, What am I talking about? ;) . Seriously though, thank you. Thinking about suicide only came up once or twice. I thought about and like you said, if I were to do so I'd feel that I've failed at life. I love you to man ;) <3

@Luna, thanks Luna. I don't know when this stage in my life will end, but if I need to talk, I'll come to you right away <3

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Franklin I know how you feel man this community helped me through a lot of tough time in this last year. I had a lot of similar feelings and went through a lot of the same things. My advice is to talk to people even if its people here or if its your family getting it of your chest like what your doing here really helps. Also find a goal for the future like going to college or university or finishing your exams in the summer and try to focus on that. Even if they are little goals its a lot harder to push forward not knowing why your doing it than it is if you have a goal your trying to achieve.

For me I really want to get to university and that's what ive been focusing on recently. Try not to isolate yourself completely from people do your best to talk to them and explain what it is your feeling.

Stay strong man and I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. <3

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If you ever need something Franklin, make sure to tell me. I am always glad to help as I have with others in the past. Please, feel free to message me or something of those sorts. I am always open to a conversation if you are willing to have one.

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  • Sapphire

I know we hardly know each other, but understand, a lot of people feel what you are feeling. I have a lot of friends that are dying inside but don't want to show it, but you can see it, feel it. You want to help them but they are already to closed in and afraid to be judged. The best way is to keep expressing yourself, like what you did here. The more you do this. The more weight will be lifted.

I love psychology, so if you need someone to talk to, please pm me. I would love to have a conversation every day with you, if you are willing to. We can be like pen pals.

Depression is a powerful thing. I have been through it; I grew without my Father, I was abused by my mother, step-father, older sibling, kids at school. I tried to be friends with everyone, but no one wanted to be my friend, they'd laugh at my attempt to be friend them. So, you have a kid that is 7yrs old, no friends, abused, and lost in the world, because he doesn't know if anyone cares. Then the teacher at school becomes your friend, helps you feel wanted, listens to you, tells you stories of people that have been through this before, people way on the other side of the world. Some of those people managed to get out, got away from all the pain, now they are living their lives here and there. Happy. I've been through a lot in my life, even the idea of 'suicide' had crossed my mind so many times, even at the young age I was at, but someone should that they cared sympathized with me.

I have been lifted from such a dark life. I have a job, live with a friend, have many friends, finished school, write stories, make music, paint art. I wouldn't have been able to do all this without someone showing they care. So, you know, you may have not met any of these people on this site, but they care, you've known them for so long, that they seem like a next door neighbor. I want you to know. I care. I know those feelings. I want to help.

:) <3

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Sometime you find support and people who care about you in the strangest places. Do what makes you happy Franklin and keep your head up buddy. It may seem bad now but it will get better.

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I don't know you and I'm really new here. I just want to say something about suicide. Nevertheless in what situation you may be - don't do it.

Trust me I know that feeling, but that's not worth it. Your life can and will change in the future and suddenly everything's better again.

There is always something to life for.

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I would like to make a little comment about the root cause, and not so much the intended feelings from said cause about your post.

You, probably like me, have a severe form of empathy, and thus prefer life on the internet, than life in the real world. Tending to prefer it because life online is more easy to control. When you have more empathy, you actually tend to become more withdrawn because it is hard to deal with the small little mean things that for less empathetic people is normal, but are huge explosions within us as we put our 'self' into the reaction of the person who is being teased(normal empathetic people)/abused(very empathetic people). And unfortunately it appears that you have less understanding people around you than I do.

What you need to do is become more confident in your choice for online connectivity. It is the future man, where they are watching movies and spend a large amount of time talking about them with their friends/family later. We are online LIVING movies and interacting with our friends while playing instead of interacting with them later about it. How many people do you see not communicating in real life because they are on their phones, but because they are in close proximity to their friends in real life they are considered doing something different than what we do? Texting is the way that most people connect now, and they limit themselves of any real interaction because of word limits and file sizes. We are filling up entire forums with our ideas and interactions in a much more real way than any text message ever could.

I have chosen life online because it offers me the chance to read, research, interact, discuss, watch, play, learn, grow, compete, conceptualize, create, and a myriad more other features than what life offline could ever provide. It also allows me to distance myself from those tiny quirks that set off my empathetic emotions much more easily. And the rigmarole that people who have made this choice are loners and possibly losers are the same notions that I dealt with growing up when I played pen and paper D&D, read books in the hallways of my school, used advanced tech, or read and watched anime, and look where that is now, it has pretty much flipped so that this stuff is so ubiquitous you have to know something about it or be left out of the loop. The same thing will happen in 10 years to communities online where everyone will need to be doing it or be left out of the loop. Which is the crux, because by then you and I will have moved further again into the future of digital connection, while still dealing with these same mentalities that we dealt with in the past...

I can't help you much with dealing with moronically abusive people in your life, no one can really, because of the whole 'can't choose your family' thing...but these communities that you are involved in need you as much, if not more than, any community those same people have decided are the 'normal' communities they have joined.

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Franklin

I'm not sure if we have crossed paths ingame but I will put this out there. If you are ever in need of talking to someone I want you to know there are people out there that would drop everything to help and would love to assist you in anyway they can. When we are down and out which can happen to the best of us, remember there are always people who appreciate you and love you even though you can't see it at that moment in time. Trust me on that one.

We as an internet community will always and should always be there to lean on each other when we are in a time of need.

Have you ever thought about starting a journal, daily or weekly notes. If you are a perfectionist, scared of failure (we all are) or just a professional procrastinator like myself this can greatly help you accomplish tasks you would normally put aside and at the end of the day completing even just one of these task will leave you with a feeling of great accomplishment.

Feel free to msg me anytime. You want my email...you got it. You want my cell to text or call...you got it. I'm an old guy that has had his fair share of ups and downs.

Franklin, I wish you all the best and know you can succeed in anything you put your mind to.

One day at a time brother!

Bryan J. Malvern

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  • Sapphire

[video=youtube]

But seriously, I have been through depression also. Spent a few months off work in 2010 while seeing somebody about it and it really helped to talk. And I'm not saying see a professional, I'm saying talking to someone neutral helps gather some alternative perspective. Glad you have an outlet in DayZRP, mine was to write thoughts down extensively and I was able to draw solutions from that.

The fact that you can say these things here speaks volumes about this community, makes me want to stay on this planet just a little bit longer.

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