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Server time (UTC): 2021-10-21 04:48

The Church of Almighty Rolle [CoAR]


Raptor-177

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We worship him. We adore him. We fear him. He carries his blessed Banhammer to crush the weak and unclean. His dreaded name is Almighty Rolle, Lord of DayZRP, Conqueror of Chernarus. But our mortal tongues cannot utter the name in such short periods of time, so we call him "Almighty Rolle" for short. Anyone who does not call him that, and calls him as simply "Rolle" will be declared unbeliever and will be imprisoned for blasphemy. Anyone who insults him will be burnt at the stake for blasphemy. Warning to all heretics and heathens: We will get you. Join us, or feel the wrath of Almighty Rolle's Holy Banhammer!

The 10 Commandments of Almighty Rolle:

1) Guise, thou shalt not blaspheme

2) Guise, thou shalt not waste your money online (except here)

3) Guise, thou shalt not KoS

4) Guise, thou shalt not report on teh shoutbox

5) Srsly

6) Guise, I don't even

7) Guise, thou shalt not praise to another lord

8) Guise

9) Guise, thou shalt :donation:

10) Guise, srsly

Current followers of Almighty Rolle:

-Raptor-177

-Granny Weatherwax

-SumoS

-WaltteriH

-TightPants

List of unbelievers:

-Rambi (Charges: Blasphemy and insulting the Lord Almighty Rolle)

-Tortov (Charges: Blasphemy and burning the Holy word of the Lord Almighty Rolle)

-Wookiebookie (Charges: Blasphemy and calling the Lord Almighty Rolle "Rolle the Subhuman")

-Dragonslayer300 (Charges: Blasphemy)

-SgtAwe (Charges: Disbelieving in the Lord Almighty Rolle)

-Jamie (Charges: Disbelieving in the Lord Almighty Rolle)

These people mentioned above will be burned at the stake, and will feel the wrath of Almighty Rolle's Holy Banhammer in the afterlife, and they will respawn only to get struck by his Banhammer again, ad infinitum.


The idea of a "fake clan" was inspired by this. The difference is that you can join this one :D

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Rolle, 666.

Christianity and other religions are ancient and obsolete religions that has false teachings, unlike the teachings of Almighty Rolle, Lord of DayZRP, Conqueror of Chernarus. Even Cthulhu is more powerful than Satan, and obviously Almighty Rolle is more powerful than Cthulhu. If you're a maths bloke, it goes like: Almighty Rolle > Cthulhu > Satan

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How do I join the CoAR? I've got a picture of The Almighty Rolle tattooed across my back in tribute to his greatness. Is there anything else I can do? Sacrifices, chanting, moving to Sweden etc etc...

We must ask Almighty Rolle what he desires from us mortal beings.

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The holy land isn't Sweden, its Poland.

At least according to this mentally altered person.

He lives in the heavens above Chernarus of course! After zombies roamed the land, the old religions crumbled, and we have found that Almighty Rolle is our god and creator.

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We worship him. We adore him. We fear him. He carries his blessed Banhammer to crush the weak and unclean. His dreaded name is Almighty Rolle, Lord of DayZRP, Conqueror of Chernarus. But our mortal tongues cannot utter the name in such short periods of time, so we call him "Almighty Rolle" for short. Anyone who does not call him that, and calls him as simply "Rolle" will be declared unbeliever and will be imprisoned for blasphemy. Anyone who insults him will be burnt at the stake for blasphemy. Warning to all heretics and heathens: We will get you. Join us, or feel the wrath of Almighty Rolle's Holy Banhammer!

Current followers of Almighty Rolle:

-Raptor-177

-Granny Weatherwax

List of unbelievers:

-Rambi (Charges: Blasphemy and insulting the Lord Almighty Rolle)

+1

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  • Legend

You forgot to srsly.

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