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Skidding broadside in a cloud of smoke...


Guest chalupa_batman

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Guest chalupa_batman

HEY BUDDY!

vvvvrooom! screeeeeeecherrrrrrrrrp!

You need a ride?

Get in!

I arrived in Chernarus the same way I plan to leave... skidding broadside in a cloud of smoke with a bottle of jack in my left, a cigarette in my mouth, and a 1911 on my hip.

You see, long before the dead began walking I had been indulging in more than my fair share of women and booze, and enjoying it! Damn you! DAMN YOU!

Now it's Day Zero+23 and I'd like to say not a thing has changed... But the booze done dried up, and so have the women. What's left? I sure as hell ain't gonna stand around gazin' at my shoes! Nope, I'm gonna fuck what I kill, and kill what I fuck! You can bet that to your grave.

The name? Eh.. call sign Romeo Bravo, but enemies know of me as Faust. It's German for fist. Got the nick when I left a trail of dead on my way out of the Ukraine, both the whores and bandits felt my visceral tenacity. Oh yeahhh!

Now stop buggin' me young blood, I'm off to rendezvous with a buddy up North. Last I heard he was heading toward Devil's Castle, said there was a local run public house with a nice little brothel...and between you and me, I've got intel on a stockpile of military grade munitions beneath the compound. Sounds like my kind of party!

(*leans over and opens passenger door of the UAZ*)

Alright kid, you know where I'll be, where the pussy meets the booze!

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Just don't drunkenly rob anyone and we won't have any problems..

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