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beetleboy999

Surviving is tough...

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Pascale's stomach roared for one last second with only the sound of the crackling from a fire and echoed chatter from the building, Pascale reached for his wallet containing his keys to his house and the family photo there was a tear through the photo as if someone had ripped it for a reason,Pascale smiles at the photo revealing himself and his two other daughters. He removes the torn beret from his head and places into the pocket with the wallet still in his hand Pascale removes the wallet and drops it down into the burning tires ,with only the photo in his hand he takes a deep breath and slowly grips the rusty orange bars both forearm shakes Pascale vaults from the suspended platform, everything blanks out for pascale other than the crackling from the fire and the picture of his daughters.

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Pascale's stomach roared for one last second with only the sound of the crackling from a fire and echoed chatter from the building, Pascale reached for his wallet containing his keys to his house and the family photo there was a tear through the photo as if someone had ripped it for a reason,Pascale smiles at the photo revealing himself and his two other daughters. He removes the torn beret from his head and places into the pocket with the wallet still in his hand Pascale removes the wallet and drops it down into the burning tires ,with only the photo in his hand he takes a deep breath and slowly grips the rusty orange bars both forearm shakes Pascale vaults from the suspended platform, everything blanks out for pascale other than the crackling from the fire and the picture of his daughters.

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Guest The Reverend   
Guest The Reverend

Try adding more altogether, but ita a good start :)

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Guest The Reverend   
Guest The Reverend

Try adding more altogether, but ita a good start :)

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Owen    13

Good read though but I'd make use of paragraphs a bit more as all the text is bunched up together. Apart from that, goid job.

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Owen    13

Good read though but I'd make use of paragraphs a bit more as all the text is bunched up together. Apart from that, goid job.

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