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Jm Von Cat

Not all scars can be seen {Part Twelve}

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Jm Von Cat    153

This is Alexanders journal, it has been completely revised as i realised the original was rather straining in terms of believability, thank you for your time and please enjoy.

*A small battered leather journal, stained with age, pages yellowing along the edges, looking inside it is clear a large number of pages have been torn out, the reverse of the front cover bears a name Sgt Johan Remiens, the page opposite bears another*

First Lieutenant Alexander Bardov

Well, I don't really know where to start… I could go from when the infection started but I suppose if you are reading this you already know about that.

So I'll start from the very beginning… I was born and raised in Dubrovka, my family was not particularly wealthy but we never went hungry. I was the Eldest child within the Family and had three siblings, little Clarice, Mikoli and Sven…

Throughout my schooling years I was quiet, never taking the lead… to look at me now you may not think that I was “that” kid with only a small group of friends, didn’t have a girlfriend either... but I did rather like this one girl… then again, I think most of us boys in Dubrovka liked her.

At the age seventeen I got a signed letter from my parents giving me permission to enlist in the Chernarussian Defence Force. The day I left, was February the fifteenth 2008, there was a tension in the air, my siblings wanted me to stay, my mother was dabbing her eyes and my father was stoic, to this day I don’t know what they really thought of me leaving…

I walked down to Berezino, there used to be a small recruitment building there, near the hospital, it was foggy that day, a light drizzle… strange how I can remember it with such clarity… it was six years ago, yet as vivid as if it were today… The sergeant.. Trvel, he looked at the letter, then to me before laughing and handing me some forms and telling me to go up to the nearby air station and report to the commander.

Less than an hour later I found myself on a Helicopter for the first time in my life, three other recruits shared the transport with me, they all looked lost in themselves.. I probably did to, when this Helicopter lands, our lives change.

Straight off the bat it was into training, I found it gruelling and at the time thought it was a huge waste of time… I was Naïve, I just wanted to get out there and.. well I don’t know what I wanted to do, as I said Naïve… I must have been doing something right though, I was put in command of the other new recruits, and whatever it was I had been doing right, apparently I kept doing it.

At some stage, early May if I remember correctly I was told I was to be transferred to an officer training course, apparently I was a natural leader and my “talents” would be wasted in the ranks, I jumped at the chance, i thought it would be an adventure.. that’s how I used to view everything.. an adventure. How wrong I was…

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   52

I want to see where this goes, because your character is a lot different than from what this journal suggests he was in the past.

Keep going!

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Jm Von Cat    153

I want to see where this goes, because your character is a lot different than from what this journal suggests he was in the past.

Keep going!

Alexander was not always as he is now, seven years and i suppose you could say two wars have changed him greatly.

And i certainly intend to carry on! thanks Dom

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Jm Von Cat    153

Officer training.. I can’t remember most of it, yet I remember the skills that were drummed into us, navigation, radio communications, formations, orders… the commander was a bastard, but a good one and fair, we were praised when praise was due and punished when mistakes were made.. sure as hell lowered the amount of mistakes we made, no one wanted to be on kitchen patrol, or worse.. latrine duty..

My extended training ended in July, a week before my eighteenth birthday.. we marched around the base, perfect drill, I felt so proud then, I had done it I had enlisted and passed through training, but even more I had gone on to become an officer, an Idea I had not even considered until it was laid out in front of my eyes…

The commander of the base addressed us, “New defenders of Chernarus, as the old step down to make way for the new I feel proud and safe in the knowledge that the defence of our nation lies in the hands of our bravest and best, it has been a privilege to train you, to watch you grow and create bonds with one another. Some day you may have to fight, some of you may well die and no amount of training will change that fact, but for now the hour is yours”

Those last few words seemed to open a cap on all of us, we cheered and headed to the barracks, it was time to celebrate, after all he did say the hour was ours.. I don’t remember the rest of that day and I don’t want to remember the morning, my head felt like someone and been at it with a log splitter.. what a way to head to a first post.. hung over and looking like the dead..

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Jm Von Cat    153

*A shoulder patch slips out of the page, it is worn slightly but still clearly identifiable*

HhyZ94T.gif

My first, and as events would have it only post was Balota Airfield, 76th Mechanized “Jarilo”, 2nd company, 4th platoon, my platoon… I cannot particularly remember my first day probably because I don’t want to, I was hung over and dreading the regiments tradition for welcoming new recruits…

The “tradition” has no real name but in essence it involves the old hands of the regiment putting on masks and dressing full black, they then get buckets of mud and mix it to a pleasant consistency before ambushing the new recruits throughout the day, and particularly during the night.

Six days after arriving at my post it was the seventeenth of July, my eighteenth birthday I knew next to no one, a few of my men, the officers but they still pulled together to celebrate, it was my first birthday away from home, it was one of the happiest moments of my life, everything I had accomplished so far seemed to be solidified with my new found age.

After my eventful arrival everything settled down into routine, basic duties around the airfield, perimeter security if you're unlucky a countryside patrol, nothing particularly hard to handle and that being the reason I figure I was stationed here. Not that I minded. Balota is not too far from Chernogorsk if we had some leave it was the best place for a party.

Over the next few months I got to know my men and they got to know me, Schvell was my sergeant, a good man trustworthy reliable and with three years under his belt. My immediate CO was Captain Krall, he had overall command of the 2nd Company, Krall was nicknamed shadow, always appearing at just the right, or wrong moment. Command of the airfield itself, well that was Major Yasensky a tough disciplinarian, but fair and well respected, he wasn’t openly called anything but some of the men respectfully called him Pops.

On a side note, could i please get some feedback, i would greatly appreciate it.

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Guest The Reverend   
Guest The Reverend

Very dark, quite hard to read. But the text is good, keep it up!

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Jm Von Cat    153

Very dark, quite hard to read. But the text is good, keep it up!

Thanks rev, i appreciate it.

Do you think i should make it a lighter color? i was trying to go for the pencilish effect along with it being atmospheric but i can change it as need be.

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Guest The Reverend   
Guest The Reverend

Very dark, quite hard to read. But the text is good, keep it up!

Thanks rev, i appreciate it.

Do you think i should make it a lighter color? i was trying to go for the pencilish effect along with it being atmospheric but i can change it as need be.

Just light it up by one tone, otherwise its all good :)

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Jm Von Cat    153

Very dark, quite hard to read. But the text is good, keep it up!

Thanks rev, i appreciate it.

Do you think i should make it a lighter color? i was trying to go for the pencilish effect along with it being atmospheric but i can change it as need be.

Just light it up by one tone, otherwise its all good :)

Looking at the available shades, the next shade up is the standard.

so i suppose it will stay the same unless someone else finds it difficult to read.

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Rifleman    14

Liking your story mate, looking forward to more. I honestly don't see anything wrong with it.

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Jm Von Cat    153

Liking your story mate, looking forward to more. I honestly don't see anything wrong with it.

Thanks Rifleman.

On a side note, you wouldnt happen to be the Robert the i had the pleasure of meeting, driving, strolling, fighting and conversing with the other day, would you?

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Guest The Reverend   
Guest The Reverend

Liking your story mate, looking forward to more. I honestly don't see anything wrong with it.

The story is quite amazing, its just I have dark brightness, so :)

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Jm Von Cat    153

Liking your story mate, looking forward to more. I honestly don't see anything wrong with it.

The story is quite amazing, its just I have dark brightness, so :)

*facepalms*

And here i was all concerned that i made my text to dark :(

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Rifleman    14

Liking your story mate, looking forward to more. I honestly don't see anything wrong with it.

Thanks Rifleman.

On a side note, you wouldnt happen to be the Robert the i had the pleasure of meeting, driving, strolling, fighting and conversing with the other day, would you?

That would be me, truly epic RP on your part - I'm glad I finally got to meet you IG.

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Jm Von Cat    153

Liking your story mate, looking forward to more. I honestly don't see anything wrong with it.

Thanks Rifleman.

On a side note, you wouldnt happen to be the Robert the i had the pleasure of meeting, driving, strolling, fighting and conversing with the other day, would you?

That would be me, truly epic RP on your part - I'm glad I finally got to meet you IG.

On my part? heck i thought yours was incredible! and i just love how our characters have such, similar yet different stories.

Till the next time our paths happen to cross

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Jm Von Cat    153

New year came and went so fast, I was able to get some leave and go back to Dubrovka, it had been less than a year but things seemed so different, Sven had our old room entirely to himself now and eagerly told me that he planned to enlist in early August, apparently I had become a role model to him. Clarice, she had turned fourteen while I was gone but I made it up to her when I gave her a pair of little red shoes and a small silver locket, but mainly I think she was just happy to see her biggest brother back.

Mikoli, well I think he was too naive to really understand why I was gone… nine years, he may have known more than he let on but I did not think of that at the time. My parents, well.. mother was happy to see me, running out of the house when she saw me walking down the road, my father… I like think he was proud of me, but I don’t know for sure, we didn’t really talk when I was there, he just kind of looked at me, tight lipped and nodding slightly.

The day I was to leave Dubrovka and return to my post I confronted my father, I spoke to him quickly and quietly and I remember every word I said “Father, you once told me that nothing can stop me doing anything on this earth, nothing except myself. I believed you then and I still believe you, but I do not know what you are thinking of my choices, it hurts father, Goodbye”. He just stood there, looking vacant, nodded slightly.. drifted away, he didn’t come to say goodbye to me with the rest of my family..

The months after that seemed to slowly pass, celebrations every now and then, the odd call from home, acting as a wingman for one of my men or the other.. always made them look good to have a superior officer back them up and boy did my men know it. Not everything was mundane though, the Chernarusskiy Dvizheniye Krasnoy Zvezdy, ChDKZ or “Chedaki” were acting up, rally’s, marches.. nothing particularly concerning for us as soldiers, but it put the politicians on edge. In hindsight, it was to concern us all as soldiers and as Chernarussians.

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Major    402

This was a throughly excellent passage. The descriptions of your father are strangely llife-like. Keep it up.

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Jm Von Cat    153

This was a throughly excellent passage. The descriptions of your father are strangely llife-like. Keep it up.

Thank you Vlad. Glad to hear that i'm making things lifelike

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Guest The Reverend   
Guest The Reverend

Great writing and very immense. The part about the father was a bit chilling, it was so realistic!

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Jm Von Cat    153

Everything changed in late August or early September, im not sure exactly which.. the Chedaki staged an armed coup, fighting started in the north of the province… Defence forces were caught off guard by the unexpected attacks, at this stage information was scarce.. Reinforcements were being slowly moved into the province, as they slowly moved our units already in the area were slowly overwhelmed and pushed back… or not so slowly…

On the 21st of September we received the news that Utes had been attacked and overrun… my brother had enlisted in early August as he told me he would… the nearest training camp was on Utes, the Chedaki killed every single Defence force soldier on Utes.. the stories we were later told by the Marines who liberated the island, all I can really say is that those recruits… may they forever rest in peace.

I requested to know whether Sven was on Utes, at the time.. I believed he was, but I hoped, hoped without reason that he was not, that he had been stationed elsewhere.. my hope was not without merit though, Sven had shown specific interest in air mobile deployments and as a result had been moved to a camp just outside of Miroslavl. My first reaction was one of elation, that sense was quickly quelled, we needed more men and Sven was to be deployed along with the rest of the training unit.

I had no way to keep tabs on Sven, I still had my duties to perform I had my men relying on me, so I pushed Sven to the back of my mind, I did not even think of my Family in Dubrovka for a while, that is until we began to get reports of war crimes… mass killings, executions.. how could the Chedaki do this to their own people? It made no sense.. I didn’t want to believe it but I had to, realisation that my family may well be dead and in some unmarked mass grave in the woods near Dubrovka… realisation that I had failed my family..

At that moment I nearly crumbled, I nearly turned into a useless wreck on the ground but something stopped me.. or someone rather.. my sergeant Schvell, he knew what was going on I don’t know how he did.. but he took me aside, quietly, when none of the others were around and had a talk with me.

We talked, and talked, he eased out of me why I was crumbling, my feeling of failure and then he gave me a solution, he told me that every soldier has two families, the ones related by blood and the ones bonded by blood, he told me that these men were my family, and it would do no good if I were to fail them to. So I did not fail them, I did my utmost to ensure I would not fail my family again… never enough…

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Monty    0

Very heartfelt and immersive, can almost feel Bardov's pain and anguish. It's good to get another perspective from a fellow Chernarussian. ;) Jiri has yet to really open up to anyone about his experiences yet. So it's nice to know he isn't the only one with baggage from the civil war. Keep it up!

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Jm Von Cat    153

Very heartfelt and immersive, can almost feel Bardov's pain and anguish. It's good to get another perspective from a fellow Chernarussian. ;) Jiri has yet to really open up to anyone about his experiences yet. So it's nice to know he isn't the only one with baggage from the civil war. Keep it up!

Thank you for the Feedback Monty, its nice to know that i am able to place emotion into the words.

Who knows, sometime in the future Jiri may run into Alexander. but who knows what could happen.

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Jm Von Cat    153

Always interesting reading your journals, keep up the good work.

Appreciated David, skipped my writing tonight because i had a late night Drama performance.

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Monty    0

-snip-

Thank you for the Feedback Monty, its nice to know that i am able to place emotion into the words.

Who knows, sometime in the future Jiri may run into Alexander. but who knows what could happen.

Indeed! Jiri is currently making his way through Russia at the moment but I do plan on bringing him back one day. Who knows They may both server under the Chernarussian Flag once more someday. ;)

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