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Guest The Reverend

Letter To Sister... Who Died

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Guest The Reverend   
Guest The Reverend

My character is writing this to his sister

I want to write a letter to you, Kristina. I need to. I want you to know that even though I do not speak about you, or write about you does not mean I have forgotten you. It does not mean I do not love you. I love you so, so much you do not even understand. For you, I would dig up mountains and spit on the Sun. I love you so much, too much, and I can't bear to acknowledge the truth. I can't even write it. It's supposed to be in the title of the letter but I sit here and it just won't come out.

I am 35. The last time I have seen you... was when I was 27. The last time I have seen you was 8 years ago. I can't get my head around the fact that you are no longer next to me. That you are no longer around me. The fact that you are dead.

The last thing I have said to you was: "Don't worry, big sis! Nothing will be wrong! Everything is going to be OK." Stupid me. Stupid life. Nothing is OK anymore. My life changed, my life went down. I don't even know what to do. So much blood on my hands I do not even know. Stupid fucking Church and God! I fucking hate you! Why, o why people call you the Kind one? Why do people call the the merciful one when you take away the closest person in someones life?

I am angry. I am so angry. But not at you, Kristina. Not at you. Well, maybe a tiny bit. I am angry at myself, I am angry at the fact that I have left you, to be killed by that fucking gang of dogpigs... Im so sorry I wasn't there. I am so sorry I wasn't there when they...they... They killed you.

I still hope though... hope dies last. I hope that... maybe, just maybe, you are still alive. Maybe you are alive, somewhere back in sweet Russia... Eh, if only I had someone to understand me, like you did, sis. Like you did when I was desperate. And I hope that you still love me. Still hear me, still understand me.

[align=right]Love you forever, your little brother. I am sorry.

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