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Sexual Harassment Discussion

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I have stood on the sidelines and watched long enough. To stand Idly by and do nothing makes it just as bad as those who are doing it. I'm talking of course about the sexual harassment that has been going on in the welcome section of our board.

First of all, do I feel staff deserve to have the finger pointed at them harsher than a community member? Yes I do. They have elected and applied to represent DayZ RP as enforcers of rules and conduct. How bad does it make our community look when our staff is acting as such.

It's bad enough that when someone joins our community and sees that just because a person is female they get 14 pages worth of replies for being female versus possibly a page or two if you are a male.

Next issue, they (the new player) decide to venture into those 14 or so pages to see what all the fuss is about to see the absolute garbage that is being posted. I need not remind those, who post this material, the fact that not everyone who reads our forums is an adult. There are many users who are under the required age of 16 just awaiting the day they are permitted to play here. What sort of example are we showing here?

Just from a personal standpoint if my wife or daughters (if old enough) were to join and this was posted to welcome them not only would I be seriously pissed off but I would be damn ready to kick their teeth in. Those are the words of a parent and husband.

I believe there needs to be some sort of rule set in place and proper punishments for these kinds of behaviors. In-game, if there is sexual roleplay involved, it is a perma ban in most cases. The most recent sexual harassment verdict was in fact a permanent ban, granted, it also involved trolling which in this case seems to go hand in hand with what is being posted.

http://www.dayzrp.com/t-horrid-rp-sexual-rp-trolling-nlr-altar-castle-14-30?page=2

It also disappoints me not just of the posting of this stuff, but it is being defended and played off as if it is nothing at all.

I don't care who joins as a new member, they should be greeted equally. Not have someone post about fapping or how about no hello at all just simply "Boobs." The hot dog thing really got to me as it was just begging for more of the same type of posting. I could care less if it was a satire post towards the community. How about instead of making a joke of it, fix it.

I intend this issue to be discussed among the community. Please do not respond with trollish replies and memes or images of the supposed white knight treatment that has become the insult to people that oppose this behavior.

I want this to be a mature and civil discussion.

I am aware this will make me a target by all who have taken part in this and I understand and welcome that. My hide is tougher than boot leather and can take it. If you would like to include something in this post but do not want it posted publicly please by all means pm me and I can post it for you anonymously.

Keep in mind these are my opinions and mine alone.

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Derek Steel    0

i second all you say her and its good take this up i would have posted my own Views her but i think you went true them all

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Moxy    19

I completely agree. To the community it's become somewhat of an inside joke, but to anyone new (especially new females) I'm sure it pushes them away and that's the last thing we should be doing. I hope the attitude changes, soon.

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   44

But, girls on the internet..

I do not think Sexual Harassment is the right title for this, eh? Or have I missed something

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Mace    10

Well, just like a lot of the people who are joining the server aren't over 16 we've got a lot of members who are questionably 16, and a lot of people who have a more immature mindset. I'm personally jaded toward these kind of things but I do understand how they can be offensive, and how I would be upset if it was my fiancee getting that kind of treatment if she made a post. Pretty much every introduction from a woman gets flooded with attention, and while it's not always potentially offensive gifs or memes (I'm staying out of that since, as I said, I'm jaded by being an internet child), a lot of it is just some attempt at desperate kids to try to impress a woman in hopes of one day touching her e-boob.

Women get preferential treatment in games like this because the playerbase, by and large, are younger people who want to impress or get some kind of positive reaction from them, though for some people any kind of reaction will do. It's always been that way, but that doesn't make it right. If anything, it lends credence to my argument about raising the required age and trying to enforce a stricter level of maturity in threads that are outside of the usual playgrounds for people, like clan threads or off-topic/forum games.

It's not exactly something you can stop. People are still going to throw weapons at women in game who actually use voice chat and sound like a woman because they want to try to get that e-boob. There's never really going to be equality in the posts of introductions because male players are a dime a dozen, if that, and female players are seen, by and large, as some kind of commodity or status symbol in a group or clan. And I'm not just talking about DayZRP like this, but any game with a small, concentrated playerbase that is mostly younger guys.

The most you can do is just try to get them to see that there is a better way, which I think you've done here, but ultimately it's pissing in the wind. I'm not belittling you for doing it. I understand why you did and it's commendable, but you're not going to get a bunch of 16 year olds to stop being horndogs.

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MadeInsane    11

I've been in this community for a little while now and I have certainly noticed the different reactions people make when a female joins, it seems to be a stupid joke with no malice intended (for the most part) and I agree it would certainly be off-putting to be greeted by a few hundred seemingly drooling men. I think the community should be able to joke around and such but perhaps not on the scale that it happens now (over five pages of the same types of comments isn't really a joke).

Perhaps PM warnings to those that just mindlessly post those comments, I don't feel a public punishment would be necessary just inform them what they are doing could be awkward or down right disturbing to others and if they continue the behavior then warning points on their profile would be the punishment.

As for direct insults due to the gender, race and or religion, I feel they should be met with a ban. I for one simply cannot stand the ignorant ramblings of some people on those matters and if they were to ever go unchecked in this community I would leave without a second thought and I know a lot of people who feel the same way.

If DayzRP is here to stay we need to make sure everyone feels equal here on the forums but on the same note we also need some sense of humor.

That's just my opinion on the matter anyway.

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I completely agree with this thread, its bad enough when a player does it but staff should be trying to set examples. How can you punish players for their actions of immaturity when your actions speak louder then theirs. With the situation that the this thread is talking about, a certain staff member posted a very derogatory gif on the welcome thread of a girl gamer, sure he may have posted it jokingly but all jokes are not funny, sure people may say this is the internet but that does not mean you lose common sense and decency.

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MadeInsane    11

Lots of writing

Just because something is hard to control doesn't mean we shouldn't try to control it.

This is a private community after all and the majority of us abide by the rules without an issue and I feel it would easy to implement punishments for this type of thing, I'm not talking about perma-bans for people that continue the joke or anything that severe but I would like warning points to be handed out if they post something obscene or offensive, in most cases a PM from a moderator would suffice.

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Guest   
Guest

People take it too far. I just do funny ones liec "r u female." or "girl!" but then some people just make rude remarks and some things do come off as sexual. But this is the internet. Can't do much a bout it *shrug*

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Guest   
Guest

If DayzRP is here to stay we need to make sure everyone feels equal here on the forums but on the same note we also need some sense of humor.

I agree we need humor, laughter is by far one of the greatest things we have, but does it have to be reduced to sexual humor?

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Guest Shadow   
Guest Shadow

How can you punish players for their actions of immaturity when your actions speak louder then theirs.

End of discussion.

Being a part of this community has never embarrassed me as bad as when I see female hello threads being spammed with stupid shit.

Grow the fuck up people.

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If DayzRP is here to stay we need to make sure everyone feels equal here on the forums but on the same note we also need some sense of humor.

I agree we need humor, laughter is by far one of the greatest things we have, but does it have to be reduced to sexual humor?

Right...and just like you, if my daughters were old enough to play I wouldn't want them to be subjected to welcome like that...

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MadeInsane    11

I agree we need humor, laughter is by far one of the greatest things we have, but does it have to be reduced to sexual humor?

There is a time and place for sexual based humor and for me it isn't on someones first post on the forum.

The furthest I would go as for sexual humor on a introduction post would probably be "Welcome to the cockpit" but that's just because I like to use innuendo in my style of humor and even then I doubt I would say that on an introduction post as it isn't wanted or necessary there.

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Mace    10

I agree that it can be controlled, to an extent, and that warning points should be handed out, but there is always going to be backlash for any kind of punishment. There are people who don't realize that just because we have people who joke about things, others aren't going to be privy to it or understand the jokes, and they might be offended, especially as new players. There is a lot of credence to it just being humor, and just being a more base kind of humor, but perhaps if it was just a rule to keep introductions at least as on topic as possible. Farewells are for people who have been a part of the community and they're obviously going to have a familiarity with people and their sense of humor, but I think introductions should just be heartfelt welcomes and offers of help if people need it.

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I agree we need humor, laughter is by far one of the greatest things we have, but does it have to be reduced to sexual humor?

There is a time and place for sexual based humor and for me it isn't on someones first post on the forum.

The furthest I would go as for sexual humor on a introduction post would probably be "Welcome to the cockpit" but that's just because I like to use innuendo in my style of humor and even then I doubt I would say that on an introduction post as it isn't wanted or necessary there.

The thing with sexual humor is sometimes it can come off as derogatory, especially towards women and even though this is the internet, it does not mean you have to lose your sense of respect for anyone, not just women. And another thing that I learned as a kid is just because you see one person do it doesn;t mean you have to do it. If things of this nature is not allowed on the server why allow such things on the forums...

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MadeInsane    11

More words

I agree, introductions should be on topic and more about helping people find their way around the site other then trying to "impress" the new person.

And for the people that say these things regularly to "impress" people, I fairly sure that they would be more impressed if you were to actually try and help them out here on the forums rather than just express your admiration of their chest.

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Guest Praetorian   
Guest Praetorian

I find sexually derogative posts, images, and gifs, to be highly offensive - and a poor representation as to the quality of the community.

I find it to be dramatic worse when such conduct is displayed by the members of staff who are expected to address such issues. The gatekeepers to the community - the ones who are tasked with keeping the community on the right path, even if it's done with a gentle guiding hand.

I have found multiple posts, from multiple staff members, displaying the revolting conduct - and that's what is so concerning for me.

How can staff enforce rules, and warn others for their conduct, when they're seemingly immune from punishment for the very same offenses they issue warnings for? I've never been a very big fan of hypocrisy - and in a case such as this, I think it's an issue that definitely needs to be brought to light.

While the conduct that has occurred is not exclusive to staff alone, I definitely find the responsibility of addressing it to be on their shoulders. When staff carry on in an inappropriate matter, it becomes a slippery slope - suggesting to the regular player that it is "OK", when it most certainly is not.

I most certainly wouldn't tolerate such blatantly offensive behavior toward any of my loved ones.

I've seen posts that state if the individual the sexual harassment is directed to is offended, then they - themselves - should say so. The fact of the matter is that for an individual to go through the process just to become whitelisted, it can be difficult for them to voice their opinion against staff.

I am not a new player, and I am offended. This sort of conduct shouldn't be tolerated, and won't be.

If we do not address this issue now, then where will it stop?

I commend you for posting your feedback regarding this matter.

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MadeInsane    11

Words about words.

I agree with everything you just said.


Many words.

People should feel equal here even when compared to the staff, the staff need to set examples for the community and they should never be allowed to break rules and keep their status as a member of staff as that promotes the view that breaking the rules is acceptable.

If a staff member breaks a rule they need to face the same punishment we would.

But lets get this back on topic.

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Guest Praetorian   
Guest Praetorian

My post was on topic, MadeInsane.

I do not feel the punishment should at all be the same - it should be worse.

I can't count the amount of times that I've seen staff post on Ban Appeals, "You should of known better", or "People are remorseful for their actions after the fact".

If anyone should know better, it's the staff.

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I am much obliged of support and maturity so far. I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way.

I am in agreement that if staff were to break a rule the punishment should be more severe.

This is indeed on topic as I have included everyone in this discussion of what needs to be done to change the attitude in this area, staff included.

As much as I would like to say that everyone is equal we are not. Staff have to do things not required of us. Solving reports, answering questions, directing people to correct information and enforcing and monitoring. They have chosen that for the better of us the players and as such they should be held to a higher standard.

Here is an example. We will compare the two using a reference of a normal everyday person and a professional.

A man drives from work to home and gets a speeding ticket. He has options he can take a defensive driving course and have the ticket removed or lowered depending on the city or state.

Another man who has a commercial driver's license does the same thing not while driving his rig but while driving his personal vehicle. He gets the ticket with no options to lower it and most times will not receive a warning due to him in fact being a professional driver.

Perhaps a better reference would be a bar fight. One person is your average person and the other has a black belt in some form of martial arts. The black belt is considered a lethal weapon with just his bare hands.

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Frozen    45

I agree but guys, this is the internet..

Peoe think that behind their screen they are invincible so they just say anything.. To fix this issue it would take years.. Hell maybe a century..

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Guest Praetorian   
Guest Praetorian

I agree but guys, this is the internet..

Peoe think that behind their screen they are invincible so they just say anything.. To fix this issue it would take years.. Hell maybe a century..

I'm not so sure.

As it's a closed community - I firmly believe that within this community, the conduct can be addressed.

I'm sure many would of argued that stopping the act of killing on sight in DayZ would be a hell of a challenge - but look at us now.

With the importance of such an issue, I feel that this can be appropriately addressed within this community.

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Frozen    45

Many words.

People should feel equal here even when compared to the staff, the staff need to set examples for the community and they should never be allowed to break rules and keep their status as a member of staff as that promotes the view that breaking the rules is acceptable.

If a staff member breaks a rule they need to face the same punishment we would.

But lets get this back on topic.

Just side off topic, Admins usually never abuse powers for the lol and giggles they do it with a plan behind it.. Be it benefit the community, add more RP or just mke the scenario fun.. I've been personally here for a over a year and the closests 'Abuse' I've seen is Rolle spwaning tanks as CDF.. Which he did to kill SKA who were SuperPVP which ruined RP.. Always a reason to benefit the community.

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Stagsview    589

This is more of a personal opinion of the subject in matter so please do take this as that and not as staff as a whole, thank you.

Sexual Harassment from my understanding is a bit extreme way of wording this situation, even though. From as Staff point of view I can understand and partly agree with the situation. Now, I admit I am no angel here, I myself am responsible for quick chidlish posts such as here , here and and here. The question in being is a level of different cultural upbringings that we all have had what is deemed "acceptable" in our lives. I admit and know that I myself have a very dark sense of humor but am aware of some of that can offend people, But out of respect I do not share or display this humor to others mainly due to the fact that, If you do not know the person, nor do they know you. You shall not know if you offend them.

This is for me where the line is drawn in this type of humor. The mass posting in the female thing, is it childish? I would say yes but it is meant how it is attended. A joke. Now, I have not witnessed anybody complain about this yet nor from a female player that has felt uncomfortable in these posts. But I do agree that there is a limit on some of the "posts" that where happening at the time and I would discourage them in the future.

If the community as a whole feels like I as staff should avoid the posts such as the ones I did as an example above should stop then I will stop. I never intend nor to insult nor make someone feel uncomfortable. The Spamming Thread thing seems to me as a no harm thing as long its respectful. I might of been borderline and got away with it as a community member but I could see why as Staff I need to change my approach in things.

After all, we are all still learning and attempting to improve each day. The only reason I have not stopped is because nobody has complained about the comments issued.

All in all Summed up words.

I have no problem with the spamming and the "insider joke" as long its all in good taste and the OP understands that. But there is a limit was is deemed acceptable.

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