Jump to content

Server time (UTC): 2021-09-24 05:49

Just finished up my story.. lemme know what you think


Recommended Posts

Owen Radke, 1, I was on vacation with some friends over summer break. We were on a tour of the EU. First England then France then Germany and etc. it was the four of us. Mike, Chris , Sam and I . We where on are way to Chernarus I saw three military trucks go by, They seemed to be in a hurry. That's when it happened... The bus slammed to a stop and i was thrown from my seat, hitting my head on the window it went black after that, i could still hear the sounds.. the sounds i will never forget.. the screams and the moans of.. people dieing.. it sounded like Mike screaming in pain. Yelling for help, Then it went silent and i woke up i guess would have been a couple hours later, The bus was on its side and blood was every where Sam, Chris and Mike all lay dead blood over there body's and they had bite marks on them. I managed to get up and leave the bus, dead people all over the place i ran into a city. it had a Hotel in it this is where my life changed here in Chernarus i knew i had to either fight or fall. I had a lot of experience with outdoors and survival. I went camping a lot with school and friends and family. I also went on a camp out by my self.So i had some experience with the out doors. I seen a man laying on the road and he looked as if he had some stuff on him. I ran over to the man, He was dead he had a backpack some painkillers a flashlight and some other things. I gathered up the stuff and ran off into the forest, I went through the bag and found out he had a map as well i studied the map for a while. I knew i wasn't leaving this place. Back to my school and my family. I knew this is where i had to become someone. I heard over a radio that there was a safe place.. they called it the trading post. I was on my way there as i knew this was where it would happen i would start a life here surviving just like others. It wasn't just those things i had to worry about. People had gone mad and started killing people and robbing them. I fell asleep under a tree that night. This is where my story starts.

Link to comment

It looks like a good story, however some facts are wrong.

Chernarus is not in Europe, but is in South Zagoria. Both of which (Chernarus and South Zagoria) are made up places. You can see a map of this here .

What was your character before the outbreak/what did they do?

There are some grammar mistakes such as you using where instead if were and are instead of our, when you say "we where on are way..."

You may also want to read up on the official lore.

Finally, paragraphs. It looks quite a lot like a wall of text at the minute.

//EDIT: Also, could this not have been on your original thread? :P

Link to comment
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...