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Rifleman

Tattered hopes

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Rifleman    14

They said the apocalypse would be hard...

...They were wrong...

It's like being trapped in a never ending nightmare...

No escape...

Not one little crack in our little snow globe that we once called a paradise...

It was, WAS a paradise...

Compared to now, it was too easy...

Petty wars, violent crime, anarchy...

I'd sell my soul just to bring it back...

At least for a day,

Instead of enduring...well, this.

Sympathetic faces would still greet me with a cheery smile...

Instead of haunting my dreams,

And paralysing my mind...

My men are dead...

As are most of my friends, and likely my family too...

I Cou...didn't see them before flying over here...

When hell comes to earth...

There's not any time, never has been...

Cos' we're all too busy surviving the apocalypse to even think about others,

Old friends, never seen nor heard from again...

It's the worst when you see an old friend die...

And my poor eyes seen Thirty-Nine...

Faces forever seared into my brain...

Never to forget - but never be at peace.

The "Old World" is gone -

and all we can do is pick up the pieces...

And restart another bloody chapter of Human history...

We'll never change...

Greed, malice, deceit...

It's all an excuse...

For the common man to do as he pleases...

All for one goal:

Survival -

Be it in the Old World...

Or this hell that we're stuck in.

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Rifleman    14

Another Day gone...

Time's slowed now...

All too slow for us to just forget about a day's events,

and move onto the next...

Like the previous day never happened...

It's funny how I used to hate Mondays...

now I hate every day of the week...

Hell, I don't even know the exact day it is anymore...

It's been Two years...

Well, near enough...

And the shit still hasn't changed from day fuckin' One...

A few poor bastards died today...

I found them...

Bullet wounds,

Deep lacerations,

Severe fractures and head trauma...

And I'm not even a Doctor, nurse or whatever...

Just another Soldier...

Stuck fighting a never ending war...

I hope to Christ I don't wind up like that.

I buried them...

A little decency never hurt anyone...

Better there than left for the Crows...

Hah, Here's me Honouring the Dead...

When most of them just come back to bite you...

A group asked me why I want to help Chernarus Recently...

Don't know the name,

But who the hell cares?

All I told them is that it was my goal before passing...

At least grant other's a tiny shred of Peace,

It'd be more than what I ever feel...

I seen Arnie and the rest of the two Platoons earlier in the morning...

Bastards looked down at me,

Smiling their smug looks...

I almost fell down on my knees,

Crying...

Weak, Pathetic, Small, Broken

That's what the apocalypse reduces you to...

Die a hero...

Or see yourself slowly become a monster...

Or be stuck in between...

Being the "Good Guys",

whilst loosing the will to live...

Nobody knows what I've gone through...

I doubt many have had it much better...

But seeing the majority of you best mates,

That you've known all your life...

Just took away in a few short minutes?

More than enough to break a man's spirit...

Then worrying about your Friends and Family back home...

Never knowing what their fate is...

It's like driving blind when your mind is clustered,

Hate, confusion, despair,

Hope is running in short supply...

And I'm still giving what little reserves I have to complete strangers who I've never met...

Seems Like I am the Good guy After all...

'The Difference between good and evil is choosing between what is Right, and what is Easy.'

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Rifleman    14

Today's been shit...

Just another day at the office for us "Good guys"...

Or as our "Fellow" wolves, Volki call us - 'Dog Pigs', Bastards.

The lot of em'. They claim to protect they innocent, yet rob their own people? If so, nobody is innocent to them...

Like I said before, people just find more roundabout and ridiculous excuses to do whatever they want to their fellow man. And that got me thinking.

I heard that the Somalian's are still causing trouble though...

Hah, when are they not causing trouble?

A few of the guys got into a close scuffle and came out with a few bullet wounds that I had to pull out...

I'm no doctor, so the poor bastards are stuck with a few scars now - hell, a few war wounds never hurt anyone!

A few old groups have shown back up out of the blue though - not all of it for the best...

Raven shie-whateverthefuck mercs, and some renowned group called CLF is back...

I HATE mercs - they're only honourable to the highest bidder...

Would stab you in the back over a piece of paper...

nice to see that greed still fuels a man's life.

This shit needs sorting soon...

too many bandits now - we can only do so much against a few groups...

And I need some help...I'm getting vivid flashbacks now...

None of them pretty...And my shakes are getting worse...

Let's see if the Free Medics can get this shit sorted...

I need some peace in my mind...At least an hour to myself. The Voices...Fucking hell...Can't write more.

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