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Phatal

Remnants of Memory By Lilia Tarasovna

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Phatal    50

(The first 3 Paragraphs are build ups as to who she is and why she is here. After which there are Diary like entries)

Since the day Lilia was born her life was far from easy. 2 Days after her birth her parents were killed and she was taken in by the government and sent to "special" training... But that's another story.

When Lilia awoke from the turmoil and betrayal left unto her by the government she worked for she found herself unable to remember any kind of good or pleasurable memory from before the outbreak. She seemed to only remember and have the want to do 1 thing, and that was cut and slice and gut someone to get what she wanted from them... But that's another story.

Lilia soon found that her want to cut people was more than just a bad memory or a nightmare, but she came to the realization that part of her way to feel pleasure was through these ways. Anytime she had the thought or someone mentioned something gore-related or graphic or anytime she came across those deemed as a enemy, she felt this need and want to cut them. Not just for information but for herself.. For her pleasure. She would become so focused on this that at times it would take multiple people to get her off of people they allowed her to "interrogate". She always had Blood-Lust in her eyes... But that's another story.

Recollection of Memories? (By: Lilia)

Entry 1 Age: 12?

Today while I was with my friends we were all sitting by the campfire and all of a sudden as if I were in a dream everything swirled and zipped past me and as if lucidly.

I turned to see what looked like a little girl I had never seen before, or at least I couldn't remember seeing her, sitting on what looked like a military bunk bed. This didn't make sense to me though because she was too young to be in the military.

I tried to walk closer but suddenly my feet felt like they were part of the blackness of the dream holding me and forcing me to watch this TV like dream. I muttered "cyka" and tried to move but my feet wouldn't budge, I rustled and jerked but couldn't get free. I finally just gave in and watched this girl.

She was just sitting there, doing nothing. I yelled "Are you going to do something!?!?! What the Fuck is this?" Then as if hearing me the girl looked straight at me. In her eyes I saw nothing, as if she had no soul, they were blank and dull. But as I looked deeper into her eyes I noticed a familiar red rose-like color in the depths of her eyes.

I thought to myself as this girl seemingly stared at me,

"Is... is that me?! is this some kind of joke? or... wait.. is this a.. memory?!? Is this... my memory!?". Then, out of nowhere a man ordered an "Attention" and what I believed to be myself stood at perfect Attention. I sat there and watched her. Hoping she would do more and show me where she was, and who she was...

Suddenly my vision became blurred. I reached up to my eyes and tried to clear it so I could see what was happening but... as I raised my hands to my eyes I realized... They were covered in blood... then I looked up and saw myself.. my present self... cutting menacingly and joyfully into someone with my assortment of knives.

I was awestruck watching myself cut so quickly into this person yet purposefully missing all important veins and arteries. I knew why I was doing this as well. Its because I wanted to keep him alive. But it was for more than that. As I tried to yell out and tell my self to stop I felt my body overcome in this sensation of pleasure and lust and I couldn't stop watching. My body took over and I started biting my lip and drew blood as I watched me.. or at least myself cut this man with the intention of putting him in as much pain as possible and giving me as much pleasure as possible. I didn't want to continue to watch as what I thought of as my inner demon torture this man, but at this point there was no stopping what was happening to me.

Then suddenly I hear someone... "Lilia... Are you ok?" Suddenly the ground whipped back under my legs and the sky returned. I looked at my hands and find they are completely clean of all blood. I look around and find that everyone is staring at me and that I am in the fetal position.

My knives are on the ground all around me and again I find Jibrael asking "Lilia... are you alright?" I look up and find that my vision is still slightly blurred and... deep in the back of my mind... I thought "Is this another memory... No it can't be" I wipe at my eyes to find that I have been crying. "What? Im crying? but... why? is it because I just remembered? What did I even remember?"

Then I hear for the third time "Lilia... are you alright I said?" I look up and nod my head and reply, "Why wouldn't I be?"

I picked up my knives, re-sheathed them, and then I walked back towards the main camp to find a place to both sleep and think but on my way back I heard something saying "You know you like it cyka" and blood-lust showed on my eyes and I bit my lip and grit my teeth, knowing that I needed.. no.. wanted to cut into someone again.

Suddenly I snap back to reality and ask myself. "Was that really me?"

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Phatal    50

Entry 2 will be coming tomorrow when I get home. Had a lot of great RP today and Lilia managed to remember something!

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Bloody    0

//you need a psychiatrist ;) great read. Was cool meeting you today, then reading this. It explains a little more about your character. Can't wait to see what other memories surface. And please don't use your "Special" training on Cerberus! :)

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Vector    0

really really enjoyed this, it's so dark and freaky. I hope we get to find out more of her "training" and who was administering it. All-round a pleasurable read. thank you

// oh and yeah you do need help. nutcase.

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Phatal    50

really really enjoyed this, it's so dark and freaky. I hope we get to find out more of her "training" and who was administering it. All-round a pleasurable read. thank you

// oh and yeah you do need help. nutcase.

The "training and administering of it" will most likely part here and part in game as she knows that the government at least was a presence all her life. and I dont need help.. I have an "Anti-Catalyst" You guys just have to figure it out :P

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Phatal    50

I always knew you were a woman

Who are you? I don't think we have met

//:P Just wait bud. You'll get to meet the the edge of Lilia's blades before long. \\

I cant wait to "interrogate" you *Blood lust and pleasure over flows her as she bites her lips at the thought of the "interrogation"*

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Siorre    0

I always knew you were a woman

Who are you? I don't think we have met

//:P Just wait bud. You'll get to meet the the edge of Lilia's blades before long. \\

I cant wait to "interrogate" you *Blood lust and pleasure over flows her as she bites her lips at the thought of the "interrogation"*

I hope I do. I remember when I ran up on you at Radio station. You're like get the fuck out of here Siorre!!!! Haha, funny moment. But yea man. I wouldn't mine being tortured by you :) I run around with an SA-58V so I can find those easily. ;)

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Phatal    50

Keep writing em . Love it

//Dont tell my english teacher but Im definetly typeing a paper right now xD

edit: thanks btw. You and Cenek should do 1 ey?

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kyoto    4

Keep writing em . Love it

//Dont tell my english teacher but Im definetly typeing a paper right now xD

edit: thanks btw. You and Cenek should do 1 ey?

Think it be a little to much, but I hate writing.

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Valkerion    0

Keep writing em . Love it

//Dont tell my english teacher but Im definetly typeing a paper right now xD

edit: thanks btw. You and Cenek should do 1 ey?

Nope thats all a secret ssssshhhhh!

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Valkerion    0

Keep writing em . Love it

//Dont tell my english teacher but Im definetly typeing a paper right now xD

edit: thanks btw. You and Cenek should do 1 ey?

Nope thats all a secret ssssshhhhh!

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kyoto    4

THat double post doe

Was wondering if I was the only who saw that :P

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Jamesy    0

THat double post doe

Was wondering if I was the only who saw that :P

Rolle has left his powers with Valk.

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Phatal    50

*After a long and intense day and night Lilia sits down next to a fresh body and records what she remembered...*

Recollection of Memories? (By: Lilia)

Entry 2 Age: 17?

Today was a very odd day. I woke up on the hard wood floor of the apartments and shambled out to meet some of my friends in the trade post. They were stirring up their usual trouble and I figured I'd join them. We decided to leave trade post as people began to question us and we don't enjoy being questioned.

As we were walking out we saw a pair of 2 people and immediately this rush of pleasure took over me as I thought of being the one to "interrogate" them.

We managed to capture 1 of them but the other cyka decided to resist and we put him down. We led this man to the Dichina camp and the entire walk was a massive tease... I felt this rush and willingness to jump onto him and immediately begin cutting him and getting all the information I could... But I restrained myself.

After Cenek and the other men in our group they talked amongst themselves and looked at me and said "He is all yours Lilia, but we-"

Before he could finish his sentence I was on the man pulling out my knives as my vision blurred and a flurry of cutting and blood and muscle came all around me. I felt myself engulfed in pure pleasure and ecstasy...

As soon as I finished with him and came back he was nothing more than a pile of muscle and cartilage and blood... I thought I had done good... But, when the pleasure and ecstasy wore off and I was brought back to reality I heard the very men I walked besides call me things like "Psycho"... or "Crazy"... I looked around and Cenek himself said he thought of me as a "Threat and dangerous" at these words I realized I was covered in the man's blood and I actually realized what I had done to the man...

The other guys left both in awe and disgust at me. It was just me, Cenek, and Alina. Cenek began talking and saying that if I don't learn to control that, than he would have to consider... putting me down... like some injured horse... But he doesn't understand... he doesn't understand what it's like to not remember anything good, or positive, or pleasuring. He doesn't know what its like to forget everything except the graphic and terrible memories and have those memories become the way you live and receive pleasure...

Alina said she wanted me to throw my knives into the fire... To get rid of my old self... At the mention of this I felt as if I left my body and the ground and everything around me vanished and turned pitch black.

I could vaguely see what looked like light in the distance and I went to move but suddenly I was almost pushed towards the source and as I got closer the black dissipated and I was in the middle of a cold street with people and buildings all around me. I looked to my left and saw what appeared to be a hospital and then to my left and saw a supermarket and a school... "School? I wish I knew what that was like..." I said to myself as I walked towards the school as if in a trance.

But all of a sudden a young girl skipped past me. She looked like she was barely 18. I watched her go skipping away in a bit of short dress and as she skipped I saw what appeared to be straps and cinches to sheaths...

"Wait a minute... Those look like my sheathes... is... is that me?" As she got further away I chased after her and followed her into a hotel building. I watched her get into an elevator and saw that she had gotten out on the top floor.

"The political suites?" I thought to myself... "I guess I'm interrogating someone.." I waited about 5 minutes and took the same elevator up.

As the doors opened I saw myself making painful, bloody incisions on this politician who was planning a coup on Chernarus. "That's.... that's me?" I thought and I went to step out of the elevator but as I stepped out the floor became black and I fell into nothingness...

Then suddenly the environment changed and I saw myself celebrating after a successful interrogation with a group of people in a bar and I saw myself smiling. It wasn't a smile forced on by pleasure or the need and want to cut... It was a pure smile... A smile I couldn't fully remember.

I reached out to push the door open to the pub and suddenly the pub became barren and there was nothing but blood on the walls and windows and everywhere in the room.

I saw myself sitting in a seat drinking vodka... Calmly, as if nothing was wrong... "What... what did you do!!?" She stopped playing with her blood stained knives and looked down at her shirt which was also covered in blood... I began to wonder if something was wrong as she just stood there...

Then, suddenly Her head snapped up and I saw her... or myself... with blood-lust and pleasure in my eyes and a smile that would strike fear into the devil himself.. She said to me "I'm doing what pleases me... what pleases you..." I looked behind her and saw what looked like a scared version of myself cowering on the very same seat.. Hiding from the Psychopath in front of me. She noticed I saw the scared version of herself and myself and hissed at me saying "Don't worry... I'll take good care of you.." with her smile widening and she suddenly vanished as well as the girl behind her.. Then the environment...

I looked up and snapped out of this dream like trance to see Alina picking up one of my knives that were laid out on the ground. She threw it into the fire as I saw this I yelled out "No!!" and kicked away the logs and reached into the fire for my knife... Burning my hand along the way. I picked up my knife and re-sheathed it..

I took the piece of scarf I had received from a BHM member and tied it around the burn..

I sat there and looked into the fire and thought to myself... "Who was that person?... Was she really me?... Was the scared girl me as well?..." Thoughts swirled in my head and as the fire lost its light I snapped out of the daze of thoughts and stared at the mangled body. I stood up and walked away... A blood hungry smile on my face, and a feeling of complete pleasure and ecstasy lingered as I left to dry my blood soaked clothes and change my now drenched *A word is marked through and unreadable here*

As I walked I thought to myself.. "1 thing is for sure... those two women have something to do with me.."


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Phatal    50

Now that Part 2 is up Part 3 will (hopefully) be up by the weekend. But Lilia has to find more people to "interrogate" first and all the people she has tried to catch have been getting themselves killed to quickly by her friends or have been too scared to leave safety. Oh well, Ill find someone eventually.

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Valkerion    0

THat double post doe

Was wondering if I was the only who saw that :P

Rolle has left his powers with Valk.

Left? i always had them :trolldance:

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Siorre    0

Dude... That second part made me shudder. I'm actually scared to meet your character IC

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Conor    254

Dude... That second part made me shudder. I'm actually scared to meet your character IC

Oh Lilia seems like a real charmer! :P

I am looking forward to part 3! :D

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Valkerion    0

Oh Lilia seems like a real charmer! :P

Well she certainly seems to attract a lot of people il give her that much....

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Phatal    50

Don't worry Siorre.... *Bites lip and blood lust rushes over her body* I have a special plan for when I "interrogate" you.

//Thanks for the feedback guys.

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