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Tredrok

You can't kill a man that is already dead.

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Tredrok    1

My first foray into the role play section. Please keep that in mind. There may be grammatical mistakes but I will work on it for next time.

Sometimes I sit down and think about my life and things I've done with it. I've come to the conclusion that I am going to hell and there is no doubt about it. I've also come to the conclusion that what happened to Sophia is my punishment on earth for what I've done to other people. That fucker is punishing me before he eventually kills me and consumes me in fire. I guess I deserve it though. The past six months of my life I have executed or helped execute seven different people. And of those seven I have taken all of their scalps just for "war trophies". I've helped cut people up while they were still alive screaming for us to stop. I'm surprised I was never removed from being a Watcher for my savage nature.

All of that said she was innocent. If there would have been one person I considered innocent in this fucked up country it would have been her. She only ever tried to help people. I've seen her give aid to people Watchers considered our enemies. Where I would have taken my combat knife out and stuck it in their heart and finished them she took out a needle and thread and stitched them up. I think that's what I loved most about her. Her willingness to help anyone and everyone that needed it. If I could have taken the bullets for her I would have. If I could have choked on the water that they forced her into I would have. But I am left here to suffer until my time hits.

In the last few months of my life I had made it my job to make sure she survived. I got shot three different times doing that job. All luckily enough, didn't cause any vital damage. But in the end I failed that job. I wish I could boast that I was immune to the effects of chloroform but I cannot. And I couldn't have done much one versus four anyway. I am good but I am not that good.

I remember them. I remember all of them. They didn't do anything that I haven't ever done in my life to be honest. But they did it to the wrong person. One of them I almost consider innocent. Mr. Khan was the one that held the gun to my head the whole time. I'm not mad about that. A Watcher has ten plus guns pointed at him during his initiation and he gets his fucking legs broke then made to crawl. What he did was done to me dozens of times. He actually apologized for what was happening and seemed genuinely sorry when they eventually let me go. But is that enough to be absolved of punishment?

If I kill this man I would stop and take the time to bury him. I've never buried any of my enemies before.

I am somewhat perplexed. I don't know why I respect this man. I have some more thinking do about Mr. Khan. The rest will be killed and butchered like the meat man cuts a hog. That's all there is to be said about that.

This mission, this revenge plot will be the end of life. I can feel it in my bones. Yet I go forward without even thinking of stopping. What can they do if they catch me? You can't kill a man that is already dead.

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Mr Bobby    0

Really like it man and even more amazing that its the first thing you've done of the sort. I am well and truly impressed! :)

P.S. Please let the next section come out soon :P

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Tredrok    1

Really like it man and even more amazing that its the first thing you've done of the sort. I am well and truly impressed! :)

P.S. Please let the next section come out soon :P

Thanks for the compliments. I've already finished the next one. Making a few edits and it will either be up late today or early tomorrow.

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SweetJoe    392

Really like it man and even more amazing that its the first thing you've done of the sort. I am well and truly impressed! :)

P.S. Please let the next section come out soon :P

Thanks for the compliments. I've already finished the next one. Making a few edits and it will either be up late today or early tomorrow.

((Its addicting tom. Really. Your writing as I said in our private forums is really good. And of course, I love your content. Now stop teasing me

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Tredrok    1

Really like it man and even more amazing that its the first thing you've done of the sort. I am well and truly impressed! :)

P.S. Please let the next section come out soon :P

Thanks for the compliments. I've already finished the next one. Making a few edits and it will either be up late today or early tomorrow.

((Its addicting tom. Really. Your writing as I said in our private forums is really good. And of course, I love your content. Now stop teasing me

Indeed it is. Thanks for the compliments Joe. It means a lot coming from you since your journal is so popular in the community.

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SweetJoe    392

Thanks for the compliments. I've already finished the next one. Making a few edits and it will either be up late today or early tomorrow.

((Its addicting tom. Really. Your writing as I said in our private forums is really good. And of course, I love your content. Now stop teasing me

Indeed it is. Thanks for the compliments Joe. It means a lot coming from you since your journal is so popular in the community.

(( bahhh noone reads that garbage I write. Hahah thanks tom.

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Tredrok    1

this is really good dude. enjoyed the read. :)

Thanks man. Its appreciated.

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Guest   
Guest

(( bahhh noone reads that garbage I write. Hahah thanks tom.

Well, they do, a lot of people do. Coincidentally, that's how I feel when I post every time on my thread. :D

OT: Like I said before, these are great. I really do hope that you continue this.

And don't worry about grammatical stuff, as long as it's readable nobody really cares. I don't!

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Tredrok    1

(( bahhh noone reads that garbage I write. Hahah thanks tom.

Well, they do, a lot of people do. Coincidentally, that's how I feel when I post every time on my thread. :D

OT: Like I said before, these are great. I really do hope that you continue this.

And don't worry about grammatical stuff, as long as it's readable nobody really cares. I don't!

Thanks Carib. I intend to continue this for a while. I already have two other entries done and a fourth in the works.

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Guest TrueChang   
Guest TrueChang

Very good man!

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Guest JMS   
Guest JMS

Good read brah ;)

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Really nice, especially if this is your first time. Only one entry and I'm already immersed. It flows very nicely. Any grammar and spelling mistakes can be easily rectified by reading (maybe even aloud) what you have written before posting it. :)

I like how the death of Sophia has affected so many people.

I'm looking forward to the next entry. Another thread to add to my list of reading.

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Tredrok    1

I am glad to see that all of the feedback has been good so far. I hope I continue to deliver.

My world is literally falling down around me. This isn't about the Sophia thing as bad as that was and is. This is about my brotherhood. I come back from my self enforced exile and I am told that most of my Watcher brothers are dead or missing in action during some kind of splinter. And the remnant of whats left are being hunted down.

I find myself thinking about what I could have done if I had been here. Would I be dead like the rest? I am not sure anymore. I failed my family, failed her, and failed my brotherhood.

Apparently Lenny is among those missing. I respected all of the Watchers but I considered Lenny Little a brother. I would have taken a bullet for the man without hesitation. We joined our brotherhood at the same time and had been fast friends. We were both from North Carolina. I assume thats why we got along so well. Similar raising and all that. I genuinely hope the man isn't dead.

My other brother Sako Hyem is alive and kicking. I can honestly say thats one thing I was happy about on my return. The man hasn't changed even throughout all the troubles we have been having. We are still able to laugh and have a good time like the old days. I can't help but not be angry around the man. He has a way of taking even the most serious situation and making it lighthearted. I would follow the man into Hades if he asked me to. Unfortunately it appears hes developed a serious cocaine addiction in my absence. Crazy fuck got high on the stuff and ran himself into a wall and knocked himself unconscious. Everyone has their coping mechanisms though I suppose.

The old man Jackson is alive and well. As well as a man of his age can be. I sense something strange about him though. I can't quite place it to be honest. I am sure I will found out what it is soon enough.

These "Fallen" as they like to call themselves are a strange bunch. They are led by Jackson from what I can see. I hear rumors of cannibalism and other strange behavior. I'm a butcher but I've never ate the meat I carved up if you get my meaning. But my brethren are here so that is where I will be found as well.

I will forever be a watcher. They can hunt me to the ends of the world but I will never rip the ever watching eye off of my shoulder.

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Tredrok    1

I was introduced to a new doctor by Stonewall Jackson the other day. I don't know why hes calling himself that now. The historical Stonewall was a confederate forces general. Anyway back to the doctor. Her name is Amanda Nightingale. Which is strange because I heard Mace call Sophia 'Nightingale' one time before. I am not even sure what it means honestly. I will have to ask Mace next time I see him. Apparently she was a friend of Sophia.

Me, Amanda, Sako, Joe, and Jackson were talking around a fire. This was the first day that I had seen Joe since what happened to Sophia. Well at least face to face. I seen him watching me at Black Lake. But I really didn't care. Not at that point in time.

The topic of what had happened to her naturally came up. Me and Joe were talking about what we planned to do. By the time I had talked to him he had already apparently confronted them. Some people like to be more blunt than others. Some people like to sit back in the shadows in wait for chance. I am one of the ladder. In any case the cat is out of the bag that people are looking for BHM.

Back to the point. The doctor said if Sophia was alive that she wouldn't like what we were doing. Putting our lives in danger to fulfill some kind of revenge plot was selfish. Sophia was more akin to forgiveness than vengeance. Who am I to argue with what she said to us? I assume if they were friends that they knew each other for a substantial amount of time. So she would know I guess.

But how can I forgive someone when they aren't even willing to take blame for what happened. It happened. I know it happened. I know they are at fault. They can attempt to lie at the trade post to the Fallen all they want. But I was there. I know the truth.

In any case I will take what she said under advisement. A man who declines wisdom without even taking it into consideration is truly ignorant.

Maybe I can redeem myself? And through redemption maybe I can find peace in the world again.

The song we use to listen to as Watchers keeps playing in my head. I never really bothered to think about its meaning until recently. I just thought it was a good song. If they keep going they will destroy themselves of their own accord. And all I will have to do is sit back and watch.

For anyone Interested this is the song I was referring to.

[video=youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQTCS6aWRSc

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Tredrok    1

I like to think that all the killing I have been apart of wasn't always bad.

I can think of a few instances where I think it was suitable for me to canoe someones head. But one stands out more than any in my memory banks.

A few months back during one of our hunts we had managed to take a member of B-17 hostage. We brought him back to the Desal plant(RIP) for interrogation. He was real mouthy son of a bitch. What more can you expect from a prisoner though.

I was given the order to position myself on top of the plant just in case he had friends in the area. I protested a bit because I wanted to be apart of the interrogation but in the end I did as I was told.

Me and cowboy stood up there talking and looking at the horizon to make sure nobody was making their way here. All the while though I was listening to what was going on below. He was singing like a bird. I am guessing this one was a prison snitch.

He said something to our doctor Zebb Ryans that set him off. I couldn't quite here what the prison bitch had said but Zebb's voice got louder. I decided to get down and see what was going on.

By the time I got there Zebb was pointing his gun at this guy and the prisoner is taunting him to kill him. At this point in time Zebb had never killed a man even in all the time he had been here. I'm sitting here listening to this guy saying "pull the trigger" over an over again. So I pull the trigger.

Now you have to understand that I considered the doc a friend. I didn't want him to kill this guy and have it on his hands. We weren't even gonna kill him but I could see it in Zebb's eyes that he was about to let the pellets fly out of the end of his shotgun. So I did it before he could.

Was it justified? To my mind it was justified. Keeping a friend from becoming a murderer is a good thing. I didn't want him to have to live with something like that. But they expected things like this from me. So I gave them what they expected.

They just looked at me and didn't say anything. They knew why I had did what I did without words needing to be exchanged. I walked out of the interrogation area and sat at the fire and had a drink from my mason jar.

When my time comes to be judged I hope my good intentions are taken into consideration.

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Tredrok    1

I find myself in solitude more often than not these days. Thinking about the glory days as a Watcher and drinking from my mason jar. All the people we kept from having their life extinguished. All the people we helped when their stomachs were gnawing for anything to be put inside it. Defending anyone whether we knew them or not from bandits.

I like to think we were a positive influence in a land full of bad. Were our methods a bit brutal? Maybe. But they got results. We weren't out to make friends with everyone and to hold every survivors hand and pull them through the apocalypse.

These days were a bit less helpful. But when you watch your friends and family dropping around you like flies it tends to change your perspective a bit. Were not completely cold. If someone is hungry we might chunk em a can of food or a slab of meat. But we aren't stepping in front of bullets for people anymore. I was shot 7 different times and stabbed 3 different times. Luckily nothing vital was ever hit. I did my time and earned my bones as a so called "hero". Time to focus on myself a bit more.

I need to find Mason and have a talk with him. I need his wisdom. He has never let me down before. He never judged me for my brutality or made me feel bad about it. He is a mountain of a man with a heart of gold.

Tracking him down will be hard but I'll find him.

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IAmJackBandit    80

Brilliant, and deep....like an arrow of emotions piercing through my soul

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Tredrok    1

Brilliant, and deep....like an arrow of emotions piercing through my soul

Thanks Jack. It means a lot man.

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Stagsview    625

Its nice to see how Tom thinks IC as we never got to know eachother.. Please tonight or whenever you can RP with us.. your character and mine could be best of buddies ;)

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Tredrok    1

I finally found Mace. He is supplying the Trading Post like he use to supply the Outpost at Elektro. I told him I needed to talk to him and me and him walked down to the woods and talked a while.

He confirmed and agreed with just about everything Dr. Nightingale said. It was almost as if what they were saying was coming from a recording that they rehearsed. Getting yourself killed in a revenge plot wouldn't be what she wanted and it would be selfish etc.

But what do I want? I have a lot more thinking to do.

I was sitting around a fire with Mace at tp and old friend plopped down beside me. His name is Dr. Arcarius Rilio. The man has stitched me up more than once. I honestly missed him. He was one of my favorite Watchers. He said Kevin O'Reilly is still alive and well. I miss him too. I told him to tell Kevin hello when he saw him again.

Mace decided that the Trade Post didn't have enough medical supplies so he said he was gonna walk on down to Cherno and see what he could find. A man name Arturo Guzman said that he would drive him so he didn't have to walk. I wasn't busy so I got in the van.

It was a weird feeling. Helping Mason to help other people. These medical supplies we were gonna find probably was gonna help keep people alive. Laying my life on the line, enduring the many zombies located in the cities to find medical supplies for others.

How would the Fallen view this act of kindness. As weakness? As me helping a friend out? Honestly? I don't give a shit. I do what I please when I please. If Mace needs help I am gonna help him. Simple as that. He is as much a Watcher as any other even though he never wore the eye.

I saw the Dr. Amanda again. She was scavenging around Cherno I believe. It was good to see her again. We gave her a ride back to the Trade Post. She is kinda cute I admit. But Sophia's death is too close for me to even think about opening that book. I may need her help. When I returned to camp last night I started coughing up blood. This shine really is fucking rotgut. Guess I will have to go back to the weak stuff.

Til next time ya fucking journal thief.

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Stagsview    625

// I doubt the fallen Would find it weakness.. In fact most of us would find it a act of Irrationality But also be very proud how you are as a person..

I highly doubt we would think of you as a weak person...more like the most human who clings onto society the most.

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