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SilEnt Death

Rejected Background

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Here is a character background that I rejected, but thought I might share. Comment if you liked it and if I should improve on anything. Enjoy!

*I just finished telling my story to a man who let me hop on his truck*

Then I ask," So what's your story?" The man ponders weather to say it or not, but finally does after a few minutes.

"Let's see... where do I start. Ok. My name is John Brian, I am an ex-NAVY SEAL and I was recruited by the CIA because of my military skills and to get out quickly and quietly from anywhere."

My face shows an expression of surprise. It makes the man smirk and he says," Believe it or not, I was a NAVY SEAL. Anyway, everything was going good, I was the hit man in the CIA, I killed people that ranged from terrorist, war mongols, and high class gangsters. Although I hated it, it taught me more techniques on how to be stealthy, and I made money for my wife and son. Until...."

Apparently, what he is about to say makes a mad but sad expression on his face," The director himself called me to his office on day, I wondered all the way why he had called me. When I entered, he motioned me to a chair and we spoke."

*I think this man is insane! I'm just waiting for him to say "I'm just kidding" ,but he isn't*

"He told me how spies noticed an infection spreading across Europe that made the dead come to life. They wanted me to investigate the place where it started, Chernarus, before they helped out. Being the crazy bastered I was, I said yes thinking this would only take a week. He told me I would leave at dawn the very next day, so I said bye to my family for the very last time in my life...."

With that,he looks on the verge of tears, but hides it in his stone expression. "The moment I got there, I knew I should've never said yes. Two weeks later when the outbreak happens, I get knocked out by a bunch of criminals, get thrown into a ditch near the woods in Elektro, and left for dead. Next day I woke up, I see these pale figures. When I try to get out of the ditch and snap a twig, those things looked at me with those eyes. Those eyes were as white as snow, so I ran with two of them on my tale. I later learned that those 'things' are called Infected, but I ran into the nearest creek, jumped in, and held my breath and prayed to God for as long as I could. Luckily, they were gone before I ran out of breath, so I got out and surveyed the area. With the help of my NAVY SEAL training, I survived on berries, fresh water from streams, and killed deer with my bare hands and a makeshift knife I made. Now, I'm going to a place you call the Trading Post to make friends, and find good wepons just like you."

*With that he's quiet for the rest of the trip to the Trading Post.*

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Maybe trying writing it in First Person, Instead of "you think this" Put " I think that guy is insane!"

Also its kind of short and has stuff about covering up UFOs and stuff, Maybe write about who you were and what you did, Also how you go stranded where in Chernarus, Seeing as you are a Navy seal.

This Thread is calling for you!

Hope it helped!

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Right IMO this needs a lot of tweaking to make it feel more realistic and to get if you know how your character is:

A ex navy seal working for the CIA who killed a lot of people.... That get's a big no for me, your character lacks his foundation's. Where he is from, hight,color, hair, motives and last but not least his humanity. A person does not quote to himself: I am mad or crazy.. Nono that is 3rd person influence.. Your character needs to justify his actions. Also you quote he killed for his family, yet he goes to south zagoria and leaves them in the outbreak, wouldnt he go, fuck the police im staying with my wife? More logical and would suit his personality.

I would start of fresh... Come up with a more "human" character and less of the super soldier wishful thinking... We ironically have loads in chernarus its becoming their holiday resort ;)

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