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A House Divided


Chernov

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  • Emerald

I am Dan Dmitri James, and this is my journal you have found. If anything I hope you learn from it. But what you learn from it depends on who you are. Read on and you will see what I mean.

*The next few pages are torn out and the next surviving page is a series of journal entries*

Day 25:

They make it look so easy, so simple. The family makes it seem like one big game that they are so familiar with. They kill without having that voice in the back of their head make them question it. This is all so easy for them! So why cant I do this? Before I was knocked out by that man in Elecktro I had that Watcher woman hostage. I said I was going to kill her but I know I wouldn't have been able to. But was that man who ambushed me a sign that I will need to? I can feel part of me saying I should be able to do this! I am so confused and conflicted! *Dan hears Chester call out to him* "Come on boy, duty calls."

Day 27:

I had hoped today would somehow clear my mind and help me deal with this problem. But it has made it ten times worse! This isn't just about survival anymore, its become about who I am. I'm not sure I know anymore... Today cousin Serj and I had a few captives and two happened to be priests. One was Christian I believe and one was Muslim. Serj wanted to... he wanted to have them fight for his amusment! Something about seeing which religion was superior? I was completely against it and I begged him not to make them kill each other. But it was strange; I may have tried to stop it and felt scared and guilty, but at the same time I felt almost at home. It felt like I was simply scared but part of me wanted to see it happen! Where did this feeling come from, why did I feel a rage in the back of my head telling me to kill them when they disrespected my sister? I need to think for now. I'm way to tense right now to make sense of this.

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  • Sapphire

Nice Dmitri :)

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  • Emerald

Day 28:

Now today, today was a day that taught me a lot. It also got me thinking about the family's relationship with the people of Chernarus and it helped me learn a bit more about myself. I saw a lot of... well to put it simply "disrespectful assholes" today and one or two good people. Of all the people we met today the one that was the most meaningful was a thief who stole our car that we had taken hostage. Even though he was the one tied up and surrounded, it seemed like all he wanted to do was insult us. Did he not realize he was surrounded by eight or so angry gang members ready to decapitate him at a moments notice? I think the group has been paying attention to my little journey to find out who I am. And I think that's why they had me torture him. Me! At first I wondered if I could bring myself to say no to the family, let alone torture the man. Thief or not I was so unsure if I could do this.

"Let Danny do it, the boy needs to learn one way or another." Uncle Chester said as the group huddled to decide who would do the job. And upon hearing those words... it started. I suddenly felt kind of happy and I felt a sense of belonging. I approached the thief slowly as cousin Steve handed me his freshly sharpened knife to use. I looked around to see the family all staring at me smiling, as if expecting great things from me. "Go on now." Chester said quietly.

Everyone was looking at me with such happy faces. Did they really see that much promise in me when I didn't see any? When I thought I was the worst person for the job it seemed like the group thought I was the best for it. What did they see in me that I didn't?

I walked up to the man slowly and we looked into each other's eyes for a few moments with me not knowing what to feel. Suddenly he said "You guys think your so tough? You wouldn't dare shoot me!" I felt a rage come over me unlike anything I have ever felt before. "Do we think we are tough? I don't know, brothers do we think we are tough?" I shouted mockingly. "We don't think we are, we know we are!" Cousin Davis proudly exclaimed. I turned to the man and asked him if he wanted to see just how tough we are. He muttered "sure, whatever" and then, without thinking at all I kicked him as hard as I could in his head. How dare he insult the family after robbing us? Who the fuck does he think he is? I continued to interrogate him on who he was and why he robbed us. And as I gave into that rage I felt my fear slowly vanish. I slowly felt more and more... like myself. Almost... liberated.

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  • Emerald

Great job Dmitri! Keep them coming

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  • Emerald

Read it again with the changes I made Scott :P

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