Jump to content
Server time: 2018-08-20, 22:31

Sign in to follow this  
Gritteh

[Guide] How To Be Friendly!

Recommended Posts

This is a zombie apocalypse bro, people don't give away everything they have to make people "happy". You have to survive, being kind is fine, but offering everything you have is plain stupid and I don't believe there would be many people (if any) that would actually be willing to sacrifice their life to be "nice" to others.

Being friendly/kind is fine, giving someone your last drink is also kind, but it's plain stupid if it's going to cause you to go without.

Looking after number one (yourself) should be the most important thing to think about in a world like this, if you're wealthy enough to help others, then do so.

This is just my opinion of course, not trying to slate your guide at all, I just think the way you worded a few things is a bit silly.

Did I say offering everything you have? No, and there is no sacrificing of lives going on here! The advice is to be kind to all people, when did I say give everything you own up to someone? I merely say that if you're being robbed, you can feel less sad about it by non-attachment and hoping they enjoy it!

I don't offer people my last drink unless they are more in need than I am. If we are both in need then we can both go and look for one together. Buddhism is all about achieving happiness - why would we cause ourselves suffering by giving something we need to someone??

Looking after yourself IS the most important thing!! When did I say it wasn't? Again, Buddhism's about achieving happiness, therefore you are important! If you treat yourself like shit you're not going to be happy are you! And yes, I stock myself up with food and drink so that I am wealthy enough to supply others.

You've come up with things I've said from nowhere :)

Share this post


Link to post

This is a zombie apocalypse bro, people don't give away everything they have to make people "happy". You have to survive, being kind is fine, but offering everything you have is plain stupid and I don't believe there would be many people (if any) that would actually be willing to sacrifice their life to be "nice" to others.

Being friendly/kind is fine, giving someone your last drink is also kind, but it's plain stupid if it's going to cause you to go without.

Looking after number one (yourself) should be the most important thing to think about in a world like this, if you're wealthy enough to help others, then do so.

This is just my opinion of course, not trying to slate your guide at all, I just think the way you worded a few things is a bit silly.

Did I say offering everything you have? No, and there is no sacrificing of lives going on here! The advice is to be kind to all people, when did I say give everything you own up to someone? I merely say that if you're being robbed, you can feel less sad about it by non-attachment and hoping they enjoy it!

I don't offer people my last drink unless they are more in need than I am. If we are both in need then we can both go and look for one together. Buddhism is all about achieving happiness - why would we cause ourselves suffering by giving something we need to someone??

Looking after yourself IS the most important thing!! When did I say it wasn't? Again, Buddhism's about achieving happiness, therefore you are important! If you treat yourself like shit you're not going to be happy are you! And yes, I stock myself up with food and drink so that I am wealthy enough to supply others.

You've come up with things I've said from nowhere :)

Maybe I just read your words wrongly then, it seemed to me like you were saying to look out for others more than you do yourself.

Share this post


Link to post

Maybe I just read your words wrongly then, it seemed to me like you were saying to look out for others more than you do yourself.

Naaa, course not man! I think the confusion might've been when I said to hope others enjoy your stuff when they use you for their personal gain - that's just a way of thinking to prevent you getting upset by that situation.

Share this post


Link to post

I'm all for helping people and I encourage people to do so; just known your limits!

Share this post


Link to post

I'm all for helping people and I encourage people to do so; just known your limits!

Well why are we debating then? ;)

Share this post


Link to post

I'm all for helping people and I encourage people to do so; just known your limits!

Well why are we debating then? ;)

Crossed wires, I just read some of your words wrongly (or maybe you could or worded them better). It seemed to me like you were basically saying to people "help people even if they don't respect you for it, give them everything you have" kind of thing.

I just don't want to see people trying to hard to help people, if the person being helped is being rude and not appreciating it at all.

It's like when people say "respect is earned", which is kinda true. Being helped is a gift, if you don't appreciate that "gift" then you don't deserve it.

I'm having a bad day with my words, but I think you understand what I'm trying to say?

Share this post


Link to post

I'm all for helping people and I encourage people to do so; just known your limits!

Well why are we debating then? ;)

Crossed wires, I just read some of your words wrongly (or maybe you could or worded them better). It seemed to me like you were basically saying to people "help people even if they don't respect you for it, give them everything you have" kind of thing.

I just don't want to see people trying to hard to help people, if the person being helped is being rude and not appreciating it at all.

It's like when people say "respect is earned", which is kinda true. Being helped is a gift, if you don't appreciate that "gift" then you don't deserve it.

I'm having a bad day with my words, but I think you understand what I'm trying to say?

I say give people endless kindness (well, Buddhism does), because you make other people happy with your kindness, and that therefore makes you happy, because doesn't it feel good to help someone? And, people who don't appreciate it will still be thankful somewhere in their dark mind. We teach to feel sorry for people who are unfriendly, because they are so unhappy in themselves that they have to be unfriendly towards others. The kindness always has a good effect, no matter what - even if it's to a passer-by who sees this act of kindness and wants to be kind to others himself. Common sense is of course needed, Buddhists are far from stupid!

The person being rude will come round eventually. If that person is given enough loving kindness, you CAN change them - I've had it happen many times in game and out of game. That doesn't mean give them all your stuff, that means being kind to them, nice and pleasant. Kindness doesn't all come from loot! In fact, most of it shouldn't.

Well, respect is not relevant with this kindness - we don't judge people on who deserves what, we give kindness to all and we will get kindness back. Not giving something to someone who doesn't "deserve" it only causes negativity from him, therefore not what we're aiming for. We want to make even the "non-deserving" happy, because a happy person eventually is a pleasant person himself.

I understand exactly what you're saying man, but I'm putting it all through my Buddhist filter so you can see that this works as a way to achieve happiness :)

Share this post


Link to post

Day by day, I see people getting angry at each other over nothing but pride. I realise this may be part of their character, however there are some people out there who claim to be friendly characters, but get into arguments nonetheless.

What I'll be talking about here is basically how I teach members of my group to deal with other people in-game.

Firstly, everyone has the capability to be nice - no matter how hard it is to make someone like you, it is ALWAYS possible to get someone to like you. The way you achieve this, is persistently being nice to them. Some people have a chip on their shoulder, and will get at you for nothing. With these people, it's easy to snap and get angry at them, but try next time laughing it off and offering them something to drink or eat! I promise you, it's amazing how being kind to an angry person can turn them completely around.

This links with patience and understanding. Here's a different way to think of someone who's unpleasant: this person is unpleasant, therefore they must be so unhappy that they have to be unpleasant to other people, therefore I feel sorry for them because they are so unhappy... See how thinking like that changes everything? It's about understanding that an angry person is unhappy - even in my present signature "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." THEY are unhappy because THEY are angry/ unpleasant - they need YOUR help - show them some kindness and turn them around.

"But gritteh, I tried being nice and they were horrible to me" - keep being nice. You can't just give up after they say "f*ck off" to you offering a drink - that's why I said be persistently nice. Give someone endless kindness and no matter who they are, they will change at least a little bit.

There needs to be more people being nice, or else everyone will stay in their little camps of "heros" and "bandits" - you can CHANGE someone's character completely if you show them some kindness - I know I have many times, and I haven't been playing as Ajahn for long!

If you want to go down this path and change the world of RP for the better, please go ahead and try it! If you want, join my group - there's plenty more to learn! Finally, feel free to ask any questions or challenge me on something - I'm prepared to prove that the kindness that comes from Buddhist teaching is foolproof.

Great guide!

Share this post


Link to post

I always run up to people and say "im friendly" and "im just a fishermen" but.. they always run away :(

Can you tell me what i am doing wrong?

Share this post


Link to post

I always run up to people and say "im friendly" and "im just a fishermen" but.. they always run away :(

Can you tell me what i am doing wrong?

Well maybe they get scared because you run at them ;-)

Share this post


Link to post

I always run up to people and say "im friendly" and "im just a fishermen" but.. they always run away :(

Can you tell me what i am doing wrong?

I'v heard you guys some times say "Im part of the Friendly Skulls"

Share this post


Link to post

I always run up to people and say "im friendly" and "im just a fishermen" but.. they always run away :(

Can you tell me what i am doing wrong?

Telling someone that you "are friendly" is suspicious enough ;)

Share this post


Link to post

I always run up to people and say "im friendly" and "im just a fishermen" but.. they always run away :(

Can you tell me what i am doing wrong?

It's because you are black...fisherman. Next time be a prince.

prince-purple-rain_0.jpeg

Share this post


Link to post
Guest Marxx

Awesome guide! I hope all you robbers and bandits out there can learn from this.

Share this post


Link to post
Guest King

Awesome guide! I hope all you robbers and bandits out there can learn from this.

Just gonna go ahead and speak for the bandits/hostiles, many are bandit because they have been friendly too long and were never given anything back.

Share this post


Link to post

It is easy to be friendly, but will the person your being friendly too be friendly back? He might rob you cause your too nice.

Share this post


Link to post
Sign in to follow this  

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×